Title: Bit of a Prank (1/1)
Author: Adrienne
Comments to: adrienne5@sympatico.ca
Summary: the real story behind -

"Giles: Sorry (chuckles) I, uh, one time I, uh, I was up to a little bit of a prank with the dart board--
Anya: (to Xander) I'm bored. Let's eat.
Xander: (sternly) Anya, we've talked about this.
Anya: (to Giles) I'm sorry, that was rude. Please continue your story. (seems proud of herself as she looks to Xander) (then quietly) Hopefully it involves treacle and a headmaster. " - A New Man

Pairing: Ethan/Giles
Rating: FRAO for sexual situations involving two males
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me and no copyright infringement is intended.
Author notes: This is a quick little fic written to cheer up Elizabeth Helena (who writes Star Trek DS9 fic), who had a bad week. It fits neatly into the series I've already posted here, about three weeks after the first story.

"Rayne." Chris was puffing as he ran to catch up to Ethan. "Seen Ripper?"

"Obviously, since we have classes together," Ethan replied coolly. He really did not want to talk to Chris; Chris had been hanging about for nearly two weeks, trying to horn in on their social circle. Well, not so much a circle as the two of them and the various hangers on who orbited their impenetrable nucleus.

He suspected that, unlike James and Tadge, who were good blokes, Chris simply wanted the cachet of belonging to their clique. Or he wanted to shag Ripper. Sometimes it was hard to tell. Either way, Chris was not someone Ethan wanted around.

"No, I mean, have you seen him since tea?" Chris persisted.

"No, I haven't. Sod off," Ethan said and kept walking. Chris just stood there, looking completely gormless with his mouth hanging open. Ethan sighed inwardly. Ripper was going to have a chat with him about this. Ripper, for all his toughness, was a stickler for politeness. Then again, Ripper could emotionally flay someone with exquisite manners and had done so to Chris before now.

Half running up the stairs and sprinting towards his room, he stopped abruptly.

Ripper, you stupid bastard.

He got to his room, but rather than go in, he turned around and barged into Ripper's room. The cloud of marijuana smoke wafting out nearly choked him.

"God, Ripper, are you completely mad?" he said, waving his hands to dispel the smoke. Aided with a very, very handy spell he had learned six months ago, the smoke thinned and disappeared, as did the stench. To wouldn't do to let Aunt Clara know that he was smoking cigarettes in her spare room and it certainly wouldn't do to be sent down from Eton for smoking pot.

Ripper looked up from the floor, his green eyes nearly black from the drug. He was so wasted, much more so than the last time he and Ethan smoked up in the woods by the river. Tadge, who sported the unwieldy full name of Plantagenet, was sprawled on Ripper's bed, leafing through a skin magazine with one hand and lazily rubbing his crotch with the other. James was kneeling on the chest by the window, watching a spider spin a web with utter fascination.

"Rayne." Ripper grinned at him. "Where the fuck have you been?"

"I was at the library, where you said you were going to meet me half an hour ago," Ethan said testily. He was seriously annoyed. He and Ripper had planned to get some solid work done before exams, then get wasted together.

"Oh." Ripper thought about that for a long moment. "We weren't supposed to start without you, were we?"

"My fault, really," James said, not taking his eyes off the spider web. "I talked him into it."

Ethan rolled his eyes. That was so James, to take the fall. James couldn't talk Ripper into anything. The idea of James ever being a leader in anything was ludicrous. James was born a follower, and, for all his faults, Ripper was not.

"Did not," Ripper denied. "Oh, for fuck's sake, Tadge. Go find some bird to take care of that, would you?"

Tadge glared and pulled down his zipper.

"Whyn't you just come here and take care of it for me, then, Rip?" he said lazily. "I've heard you give good head."

"I do." Ripper gave a gracious nod, as if accepting a well deserved compliment. "Well, come on, then. Get over here and take it out. No need to be shy."

Ethan was torn between laughter and disgust, with a healthy dose of jealousy added to the mix. Tadge was merely disgusted. He didn't really believe all those stories about Ripper, but Ethan knew them to be true. Not that Ethan had any first hand knowledge of Ripper's oral skills, but he did know how much experience Ripper had.

Tadge looked suddenly scared and more than a little paranoid at the thought of Ripper actually touching him. He got up, did up his jeans, which seemed to be a little looser than they had been a minute ago, and took James by the arm.

"C'mon, James. Let's go." Tadge said, red faced. "And no ogling my arse, either, Ripper, you old queen."

As they left, Ripper and Ethan burst into laughter.

"I do love it when you do that," Ethan said, accepting a freshly rolled joint from Ripper. "They think you'll actually do it."

"I would." Ripper took a deep toke. "Christ, this stuff gets me so randy I'd even do poor old Tadge and his amazing shrinking todger."

"Really?" Ethan frowned. Ripper thought about it for a moment.

"Well, no. Not Tadge. It'd scar him for life, to have some bloke bring him off." Ripper paused to take another toke. "You, maybe."

Ethan looked away. Ever since the long talk they'd had a month ago, the one about vampires and his mum, Ethan had known that his feelings towards his best mate had changed. It still took him by surprise, sometimes, when he realised just how much he loved Ripper.

"Maybe?"

"I know you're not into blokes, Rayne, but you're not as bloody mindedly against the idea as some." Ripper said slowly. "Have I ever told you how much I appreciate that?"

"No," Ethan said, and waited. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Wasn't that your cue to tell me how much you appreciate me and my openmindedness?"

"Was it? I was just looking for information." Ripper did befuddled innocence far too well for someone as shit-faced as he was.

"Prat."

-----------------------

It hadn't taken Ethan long to catch up. He was now as stoned as Ripper was and the spell to take away the tell tale scent was getting easier and easier to do.

Relaxed and feeling mellow, Ethan watched as Ripper changed the album on the stereo. Pink Floyd.

Ethan was supremely content. Good music, a nice buzz, and Ripper. Nothing could be better than this. Except...

"Rip...?"

"What?"

"I'm hungry." It was true. He had a serious case of the munchies and was just too comfortable to get up and raid the stash of snacks in his room. Besides, he wanted something quite specific.

"So'm I," Ripper said, and turned onto his side, facing Ethan. Based on the very suggestive leer on his face, Ripper was not talking about food. His trousers were tented out, much more than Tadge's had been. Ethan looked away. God, how he wanted to take Rip up on that offer, and not because of the drugs, either. Grass made him hungry, not horny.

"Maybe..." Ethan's voice cracked and he cleared his throat and started again. "Maybe you should find some bird to take care of that."

Ripper grinned and rolled onto his back, idly touching himself.

"No, it's rather nice, actually. Feels good." The seductive purr in Ripper's voice made Ethan get to his feet.

"Come on. I'm hungry," he said, hoping that a bit of fresh air and some food might soften the need to jump on his friend.

"What?"

"Let's go raid the kitchens. I want pudding."

"Pudding?"

"Treacle pudding," Ethan repeated. He wanted something sweet and substantial, and treacle pudding seemed to be the exact thing.

"I'm not making treacle pud at this time of night, Rayne."

"There's some left over from dinner," Ethan pointed out. "Let's go."

-----------------------

Breaking into the kitchens was laughably easy. Ethan kept lookout while Ripper fiddled with the simple lock.

"Just what do they teach you at Watcher School, anyway?" Ethan asked curiously. "I'm shocked."

"No, you're not."

"Well, no. I'm not."

"A Watcher may need to get into locked places," Ripper told him, as he swiftly went through the huge cold storage bins. "Hm. Looks like bangers and mash tomorrow."

"Did you find the pudding?"

"Not yet. Go fetch the treacle and a pot," Ripper ordered. "You can make up the sauce while I find the pudding."

"Actually..." Ethan had another idea. "Leave off the pudding and see if you can find any ice cream."

"Treacle sauce on ice cream?" Ripper looked disgusted. "God, that's too sweet for my taste. Hope your dad has decent dental insurance."

Ethan ignored him and took out a stick of butter. Setting a pot on the gas cooker and looking for a whisk, he noticed Ripper go still.

"What?"

"Somebody's coming."

Ethan panicked. He was still quite high and, taking the stick of butter in one hand and the bottle of treacle in the other, he followed Ripper out of the kitchen and into the recreation room.

"It's Chris," Ethan whispered, in disgust. The little sod was following them.

"Rayne, do you remember that spell we read last week?"

"Which one?"

"Lumins metallica."

"Of course."

"Cast it," Ripper whispered. "There."

Ethan grinned. The dartboard was rimmed in metal. He closed his eyes and whispered the spell. Obediently, the dartboard's numbers flashed in the gloom, along with the rim. The darts under it also started to glow at the tips. It was wonderfully spooky and poor Chris nearly jumped out of his skin.

Ethan, seized by another idea, crept slowly and silently to the door while Chris tried to catch his breath. Hoping that Chris would not think to turn on the lights, he swiftly greased all of the door handles with butter.

Ripper moved silently to join him and took the bottle of treacle out of his hand. Ethan gave him a questioning frown, but Ripper merely grinned at him.

"Take out the lights," he whispered to Ethan, who promptly mentally kicked himself for not thinking of it sooner. One of the first spells they had learned was to blow the fuses in the lights. After all, mischief was so much easier if you didn't get caught.

And what the hell was Ripper doing? Chris was still staring at the dartboard, seemingly frozen to the spot. It was, he had to admit, damned eerie, the way his only partially successful casting led to the glow pulsing in a most unsettling pattern.

Ah, that's what Ripper was doing. He was pouring globs of treacle all over the floor, in an odd pattern. Then he closed his eyes and cast another illumination spell, one that Ethan didn't know.

But the way Chris screamed when the treacle lit up to show a crudely drawn M'fashnik demon was wholly satisfying. Knowing that Chris' screams would bring attention, they took off.

------------------------

By the time they reached the safety of Ripper's room, they were both laughing so hard that they could barely stand up.

"Christ, I still have treacle all over my hands."

"Poor lad."

"You did say you wanted some." Ripper offered his fingers and Ethan, still hungry and still stoned, stuck out his tongue delicately and licked. The sweetness tasted so good that he soon found himself sucking on Ripper's fingers, chasing the treacle that had dripped on his hands. Once he had licked every little bit of treacle off, he blushed.

"I... I hope you, um, didn't want any..." He wasn't sure what to say.

"It wasn't my fingers I wanted to lick, Rayne," Ripper said huskily. Without hesitation and long before Ethan worked out exactly what he was intending to do, Ethan felt Ripper fall to his knees, undo his trousers and take out his penis.

Oh, God. A few of his girlfriends had done this, but it had felt nothing like this. They had been clumsy and tentative, not like the firmness Ripper used. He looked down to see the top of his friend's head, as he sucked and licked. Ripper had his right hand cupping his balls, but his left had crept down to his own zipper, taking out his engorged erection and stroking it firmly.

It didn't take Ethan long to feel his balls tighten up and he tried to pull away, suddenly frightened. None of the girls liked him to ejaculate in their mouths, and he didn't want to choke Ripper. Ripper growled and refused to let him go. Ethan, too close to stop it, threw his head back and let the feelings surge through him, coming in his friend's mouth.

By the time the aftershocks faded and he caught his breath, Ripper had moved away. Ethan watched as Ripper tucked away his now limp penis and then took an old t shirt to wipe off the evidence of his own orgasm from the floor.

Ripper seemed to be sober now, and at a complete loss for words. He got up off his knees and dropped onto the bed, his face now serious. Ethan wasn't sure what to say, either, but he sure as hell did not want to talk about what happened.

"Rip?" he said, after a moment or ten.

"Hm?"

"I'm still hungry."

Ripper finally looked at him, then started to laugh.

"Wanker. There's some candy on the desk."

Ethan got up and unwrapped the candy, feeling himself relax. They were still friends and he had not crossed the line into one of Ripper's bedmates. After all, it wasn't like he was really queer, right? He had been high and Ripper had been horny. Nothing had changed. Nothing at all.

And if he kept telling himself that, maybe someday he'd believe it.

END