TITLE: "Buffy Is Bored"
AUTHOR: ASH Watcher/Slayer Watcher
EMAIL: GGtheSlayer@aol.com(No stakes, *please*!)
PAIRING: B/G, W/T, X/A
RATING: Um, PG for wackiness
SUMMARY: Buffy's bored...and don't ask about anything else.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine..I don't even own Daffy Duck! <pouts>
DISTRIBUTION: Um....if you're crazy enough to want this, then ok.
DEDICATION: For Jen :D
BEVERAGE WARNING! BEVERAGE WARNING! BEVERAGE WARNING!

Buffy slumped down on the couch next to Giles...she sighed, and waited for him to notice her. He was engrossed in a dusty tome of some kind, so he chose to ignore Buffy's bored sigh for the time being.

"Gi-yules...I'm *borrred*!," Buffy whined.

Giles didn't say anything, he just continued reading. She huffed, then got up and went into the kitchen. He grinned when she'd stomped off, pouting. A few seconds later, Buffy came back out and this time, removed the book from Giles' hands. Then she plopped down into his lap.

"Yes, Buffy..what is it?" he asked, amused.

"I'm *bored*! Willow's at the Mideval Festival with Tara...Xander's in Alabama with Anya, and you and I are the only ones without anything to do."

Just then, Buffy's Slayer hearing informed her that the mail had just arrived. Over excited, she bounded off his lap, and flew to the mailbox. As she began walking back inside, carrying the mail, she heard her name called. Buffy turned around, and her jaw dropped to the ground, when she saw Mr. Ughly walking across the street. He had a *lion* on a leash, and was eating a Little Debbie Zebra Cake. He told her that his pet lion's name was, Swish. And that he knew of a female lion, who lived in the neighborhood with, Ms. Red. Buffy smiled and nodded, then fled inside, to hide from the scary Mr. Ughly & Swish.

When she closed the door behind her, Giles was still sitting on the couch, reading his tome. Buffy rolled her eyes, then began sorting through the mail. Oooh, a new DVD had arrived, woohoo! She hoped it was, "Night of The Undead Cowboys"....it was the newest Brad Ford movie. Giles and Buffy had been extremely looking forward to it, since seeing it a few months back. She put the movie aside, and sorted through the rest of the mail.

There was a postcard from Xander and Anya. It was postmarked: Hartselle, Alabama.

"DEAR BUFFY AND GILES,
HI! THIS IS ANYA, SPEAKING.
XANDER IS BUSY DROOLING
OVER THE WORLD'S LARGEST TWINKIE.
AND WHENEVER I AM ABLE TO
DRAG HIM AWAY, WE ARE GOING TO
GO AND SEE THE WORLD'S LARGEST
BALL OF EARWAX.
OKAY, GOODBYE.

--ANYA"

Buffy cracked up, and then had to sit down before she wound up falling down. She looked at her watch, and gasped when she noticed the time. It was six o'clock...time for "Welcome Back, Kotter!!"....she ran over and turned the TV on. What the...why wasn't "Welcome Back, Kotter!" on yet? Just then, Daffy Duck came on screen, and was joined by a Fork--wearing a sombrero--and they were eating sunflower seeds. Buffy screamed and then threw a Xerox machine at the TV. The TV died...so Buffy screamed again, and went over to the stereo.

Giles had been completely self-absorped in his book, up till Buffy had thrown the Xerox Machine at the telly. He didn't want to know *where* the machine had come from. He heard music and sighed, maybe Buffy would calm down now. Oh look, he had mail...sitting on the table in front of him. He giggled at Anya's postcard, then opened the new movie that had arrived in the mail.

"What the bloody Hell...?!?" he growled.

The movie wasn't, "Night of The Undead Cowboys"! Blast, it was something called, "Bouffay, the Vampire Layer", starring Phoebe Bouffay and Kent Brockman. He promptly threw the DVD in the trash. Just then, Buffy came up to him and began stripping him of his clothes. Giles didn't ask, he just went along with her, and helped her off with her clothes. And when, "A HARD DAY'S NIGHT", started playing on the stereo, they rocked out. Their underwear, had Smurfs on it, and the two of them danced like crazy.

***************

A little while later, Buffy was feeding Giles Ranch-dipped Pickles, while they watched a marathon of The Powerpuff Girls. After about four hours of watching The Powerpuff Girls, Buffy screamed again, and so Giles put in "The Jetsons Meet The Flintstones". Buffy cheered, and promptly stripped herself and Giles of their Smurfs underwear. He pulled her onto his lap, tickling her. She giggled and squirmed and then found herself impaled on Giles' hard shaft.(ugh, cheesy description, sorry) They gasped and moaned and groaned, and thrust. And shortly thereafter, cried each others names in the throes of passion.

THE END