Title: Forgive Me
Author: Donna dlg92000@yahoo.com
Rating: PG--Angst
Pairing: B/G
Spoilers: Through to The Body
Disclaimer: Joss and Co. own all

Buffy Summers sat in the middle of the cemetery contemplating the cosmos. "You know, you think you have life figured out. I mean, I'm the Slayer, the chosen one, yada, yada. You're the Watcher, sworn, yada yada. Life merrily goes on, Slayage, daily apocalypse, losing lovers getting screwed over by scum. An obsessed vampire insisting that he loves you. A sister whose not your sister but energy. A psycho god trying to find your sister cause she's the key. Mom dying." She stopped to swallow harshly. "All these things," She shrugged. "Just a day in the life, right?"

She sighed playing with the grass she sat on. "I have friends and family to keep me sane. I'm the oldest slayer, right Giles? But the one thing I never saw coming, the thing that knocked me silly, was falling in love with you. Oh, I know ew, gross your old. But what did you expect, I thought you loved me like a daughter. Incest much." Buffy hung her head searching for the right words to express herself. "So I hooked up with Riley." She snorted in disgust at herself. "So, not only did I hurt Riley, but I hurt you, again. But you didn't leave me, you stayed."

She raised her eyes to the heavens. "The stars are so bright tonight; you can almost reach out and touch them. I know, I'm sorry, I'm rambling, this is." She dragged in a breath preparing herself. "I'm sorry that all I've ever done is hurt you. I have no explanation, no excuse. Not even that I was young and confused." Buffy brushed at a tear that started to trickle down her cheek.

"I'm trying to tell you in my round about confused way, that I love you. Not as a daughter or a student, but as a woman. I want you in every way a woman wants her man and if you don't feel the same I understand. It's probably selfish of me, but I had to tell you. So you could understand some of my behavior."

She smiled through tears that started to fall in ever increasing number. She blinked to try and see. "So now that I've finally told you and the moon is high." A choked sob escaped her as she lightly trailed her fingers down the name, 'Rupert Giles' on his marble headstone. "I have to kill the man I love yet again as you rise. Forgive me..." She whispered as his hand broke through the soil.

END