TITLE : Always With Me
PART : 4/6
AUTHOR : Catherine
DISCLAIMER : Joss owns all
FEEDBACK : Please let me know if you like it.
(*...* thoughts)
Giles walked without a particular goal; he just walked. He tried to understand all the situation. *How?!? How did she manage to do that? Why?!?* He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't see the other person coming...
"Who am I seeing? Would it be possible that it's the Watcher? Rupert old chap! What are you doing here? I thought you left for good," said Spike.
"Spike," Giles retorted.
"The one and only," grinned Spike. "So, is it the return of the watcher?" he asked sarcastically.
"For your own good, it's not the moment!"
"Oh, I see; you're a little on edge. Why?" Spike baited.
"I beg you Spike, let me be or-"
"Or what. You would stake me?" smirked Spike.
"It's one of the options," Giles said quietly.
"But if you stake me, who will do the patrols?" Spike asked, innocently, but knew he had, now, all Giles' attention.
"What? You do the patrols."
"Yes, watcher."
"Why?"
"Seeing your state of anger...and without talking about the Ripper glare, you have, I presume, stopped at Buffy's before coming here. That is, in fact, not even a question to ask. I bet that you were impatient leaving the airport to go there."
"Yes." sighed Giles.
"So you know the reason why I do the patrols," shrugged Spike.
Giles nodded, "You know," he was sarcastic, "what irony! You know. She told you. You, a vampire, and not me! Again, I arrive in second; she preferred to say it at a vampire than me! But she's my baby!" This time it was more than he could bear. He felt betrayed like he had never been before.
"You abandoned her."
"What?!? How dare you to tell me that? I did that for her, to help her! She had no right-"
"To help her Rupert! For god sake, she was ripped from Heaven! She needed you, you, like never before. You were the only who could help her. And you left her! You never called her, sent a card. Not even for her birthday!"
"I...I couldn't give her what-" Giles calmed himself a little at Spike's comment.
"Give her what? The only thing she wanted was your love." Spike sighed, then "It has been not easy, you know, when you left. Buffy was crying, all the days and nights. Nobody knew what to do. We were helpless. She hadn't told us that, well, about your last meeting."
Giles listened to him.
Spike continued, "After some weeks, Buffy had stopped crying during the day at least...Anyway, after some weeks, she went to the doc. She wasn't feeling very well, but didn't say anything. That's when she learnt that she was pregnant. When she returned, Wow, it was a metamorphosis. Really. So she told us that...you and her. And it's after there was the big stuff."
"The big stuff?" asked Giles.
"Yes, the big quarrel between Buffy and Red. Everyone was terrified, well I can even say petrified. And I mean everyone."
Spike looked at Giles who understood that that included Spike too in the statement.
"What happened?" said Giles.
"Well," began Spike, "when Buffy returned from her appointment, she was totally on a cloud...It was like all the pain and emptiness she felt inside her was away. It's when Willow said something really really stupid. And from Red that is really surprising, I mean, she has a brain, but at that moment it was like her brain had taken a holiday. Maybe a side effect of magic after all-"
"Spike!!!" Giles cut him, impatiently.
"What? Oh yes, sorry. So, Willow said to Buffy...
FLASHBACK
"Buffy, it's great."
"Yes, Will. It's wonderful." Buffy was totally transformed by the news.
All the gang was pleased for her, and seeing her like that, it was like the old Buffy was returned--even the old Buffy much much happier- -even if they weren't all in agreement with the 'Don't tell Giles' idea. But for now, they respected her wish.
"Oh Buffy, I'm so happy. So now, you see, I was right," said Willow.
"Right, Will, about what?" asked Buffy.
"About your resurrection." Willow explained.
Hearing her, there was a lot of whispers in the room from the others like, "Oh no!"; "What did she say that?!?"; "Not good!"; "Bugger!"; "Wasn't she supposed to be smart?"
Buffy looked at her sternly and angry, then said "No."
"But-"
Buffy didn't let her finished, "What you did was wrong. You even didn't check before. You are a strong opinion of yourself and think you can do anything, without thought about the consequences. You don't call yourself into question, you have a self-centeredness that made you a dangerous person, friend, and witch. You hurt us and think with magic you're indestructible and can do everything you desire. But you can't. You played with forces which are too powerful for you, now at least, and you have just the illusion of control. But you haven't."
Willow was out of control, "A word of advice Buffy, don't push me! You don't know about what I'm capable of doing!" It was an advertisement, but Buffy wasn't afraid and replied, "Oh, but I know. I know too well, and I can tell you that your powers are nothing. I'm not afraid of you."
"Nothing. Do you want me to show you? I can easily send you back." Willow was pleased with herself.
"Do it!"
"You want?" Willow challenged her.
"Yes! Like that, I will be in Heaven and you, in Hell. Like that, I won't see you again!" Buffy exploded.
For all the other witnesses, they were sure that Willow wanted to explode, and show to Buffy that she was a powerful witch, but nobody here thought that Willow would explode like that...
Every person there stared at Buffy and Willow, the two people at the center of their attention.
"You...You don't want to see me anymore!" Willow said between sobs. She was completely in tears. "You hate me!" she finished in a cry.
"Willow, please." Buffy tried to calm her.
"You hate me!" Willow repeated.
"Will, I won't lie to you. The answer is Yes."
It was enough for Willow who couldn't help crying.
"But," Buffy's comment drew Willow's attention, "not only you. This also concerns Xander, Anya-
"Hey!"
"Anya, please." Buffy said, then looked to Tara who nodded. "And even Tara," Buffy added, before finishing with, "And me."
"You? Why? Buffy, you told me, it's my fault," said Willow.
"At least, she's taking responsibility. It's better late than never," Anya pointed out.
Buffy glared at her.
"Honey, please. Now's not the moment," Xander pled.
"But-" then she stopped, seeing Buffy. "Okay," she pouted.
"Buffy?" asked Willow, wanting to know why Buffy 'was hating herself'.
"I felt nothing," Buffy explained. "It was like I was empty inside. No emotions, no feelings,...Nothing. And...and I thought I had come back...wrong. Without, without my soul," she finished in a whisper.
Willow looked at her in horror, "No Buffy. You...you didn't come back wrong. And...I'm sure you have your soul."
Buffy nodded, "Now I know. And now, I feel." she said a hand over her stomach. "A life is in me. And it's wonderful. Giles' baby, it's incredible. I'm so happy. I feel." She had tears in her eyes. She took Willow in her arms and said, "Even if I can't tell you that you were right about you know; I can tell you that." Willow waited, she was surprised by the next words Buffy said which were "Thank you."
END OF FLASHBACK
...So Watcher, now you know the big stuff." Spike grinned.
Giles removed his glasses, polishing them he nodded. "And you do the patrols for Buffy."
"Yes, Rupe."
"Why?"
Spike was surprised, "Why do I do that?"
"Yes." Giles was suspicious.
Spike smiled and, "Before you asked, I didn't ask anything for that."
"Really. How generous of you." Giles said with sarcasm.
"Listen, Watcher. You haven't been here for several months. Some things are changed. Believe it or not, but we're friends. With Buffy pregnant it was unreasonable for her to continue the patrols. It's why we decided that she should stop them."
Spike's tone and the fact that he was showing him that he and the others now seemed to be close irritated Giles..."And you really think that I will believe you!"
Hearing Giles' comment, Spike was angry. "Think what you want; it's the truth. I never let anyone hurt any of them."
Giles saw something in Spike's eyes that he wouldn't have ever thought to see in them...Sincerity.
"I believe you."
"About time!"
After a few moments, Giles broke the silence with "Since when?"
"Patrols?"
"Yes."
"Since Buffy's birthday. It was like a gift." Spike shrugged.
"I see."
"Not even a bloody call...Do you know what that did to her?"
Giles didn't know what to say...He felt guilty for his last actions.
"She was in tears. It was supposed to be a joyful party, but it was everything except that. Between sobs, tears and cries and Anya's comment of 'Must be the hormones.' Buffy was sobbing the moment she blew out the candles on the cake...crying coz, not even a call or a card from you. Wow, it was...terrifying."
Giles was silent.
"Oh, that reminds me of something, Rupe. Be careful with Willow. She is angry towards you; be careful."
"Wh-what? With magic?"
"No, not that. Since her discussion with Buffy, Willow understood and accepted in the need to control the magic. But to compensate that, she's taking some classes of...Tai Ken Do; and she's not bad."
Giles looked at him. "Thanks for informing me. I will try to be safe."
"You're welcome mate." But Spike couldn't resist asking, "What will you do now?"
Giles sighed, "I will do what I came back to do."
"Came back for real or...just for a few days?"
"That depends on Buffy. And if she can forgive me. But now, what her decision will be, there is Abigael and..."
Spike's expression surprised Giles; one more time, it was like a light which had lighted his face, "Abigael," smiled Spike, "she's so...I'm totally fond of her. Completely crazy about her."
"I see that. I can't blame you. She's marvelous." said Giles, then, understanding that Spike would protect his daughter, *My daughter* Giles thought, of an unconditional way; Giles looked at him and said "Thanks."
Spike looked at Giles, for some moments, and they understood each other. "No need," were the only words Spike said before returning to his crypt.
Giles watched him move away, then walked towards the house.