TITLE : SOLITUDE
PART : 5
AUTHOR : Catherine
EMAIL : catzen20@aol.com
DISCLAIMER : The characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television, the WB Television Network, and whoever else may have a hold on them. I do not mean to infringe upon any copyrights.

Thank you to Phen, my beta, for your words and to say to me that I did an ''Evil little cliffhanger'...Me!! No, never...*evil grin*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : IN MY STORY, FAITH HAS NEVER TURNED BAD. WHEN WESLEY THOUGHT HE SHOULD GO, SHE FOLLOWED HIM…TO LA. THERE, THEY MET ANGEL AND CORDELIA AND NOW WORK TOGETHER. BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY…WAIT?!? WHAT! WHAT DID I SAY?!?

All the gang were still under the shock of the last Giles' statement.

Giles asked to Willow if she had any idea where Buffy could be. She sadly shook her head 'No'. At that, Giles got up; they watched him search something. They hadn't reacted yet when they saw Giles push everything off of the table. Tray, glasses and other things crashed on the floor. Then, he placed on it a map of Sunnydale. The other wondered what he had in his mind, until they saw him put a pendulum over the map.

"Willow?" Xander whispered.

"Shh," Anya glared at him.

"What, Xander?" It was a soft murmur, to not disturb Giles and his concentration.

"Is he doing what I think he's doing?"

Willow looked at him with a 'What' expression, then a "Of course."

"Ok," he mouthed.

*Buffy, please, tell me, tell me where you are…Please, let me know where she is…* Giles supplied silently.

Everyone watched the scene before them in silence and hope when suddenly the pendulum pointed a place.

"Do you think it's the right place?" Anya asked sceptically.

Xander looked at the map and where the pendulum was fixed, "It's a cemetery, so, probably yes."

"And we don't really have a choice, so-" said Giles who was already almost at his door.

He had been so quick, that the others were still sitting, while he was almost outside, determined to save his slayer.

Nobody knew how they managed to arrive so fast at the cemetery with Oz's van. Well, in fact they had a little idea, especially when Giles grumbled to Oz things like "Could you please step on the bloody thing they call an accelerator! That might be a great help."

Willow, Xander and even Anya were mesmerized by Oz's reaction face to Giles. To Giles, Oz had just replied with calm, "I'm worried about her too." Giles looked at him, then nodded.

"That was fast…and the van is still in one piece!" Xander said, when they began to walk in the cemetery.

"Xander!" Willow rolled her eyes, "It's not really the moment!"

They had walked, in fact they had run, calling to her in the cemetery when Anya screamed to them, pointing in a direction, "She's here!"

Here, they saw a death demon, and beside him, at some distance, Buffy, between some ingredients and book that she had needed to perform the spell.

She was laying there, unconscious, it seemed…

The instant that they saw her, Giles was immediately at her side. He turned her and put her on her back.

"Is she-" Willow couldn't finish it.

Worriedly, he searched for her pulse, and had a soft sigh of relief when he found one, weak but there.

"No, she's still alive." With determination, he took the book, "There is no time to lose."

"Anya, you know the language, if needed."

"Yes, but it was a long time, and I don't remember-"

"That will be enough," Giles cut her off firmly.

"Okay, excuse-me if I wanted to warn you about that. But if something is wrong, I prefer to let you know you that it won't be my fault." She crossed her arms over her chest.

Giles blinked but said nothing; he had other things in his mind.

"An, honey, for once, I'm sure it's not the best moment to-"

"What! I wanted only-"

"Giles? What…what are you doing?" Willow stopped the argument between them, before Giles completely lost patience.

"Perform the spell, try to complete it and," looking at his beautiful unconscious slayer, laying over the floor, "bring her back."

A few moment later, Giles was saying some words, and although he pronounced them, he fall on the chest of his slayer.

"They're cute." Anya said too naturally. The others looked at her with stupefaction.

"What?" she shrugged, "They are."

SOMEWHERE
Buffy was sitting on the floor, grumbling. She couldn't believe it, there was nothing, absolutely nothing. She was waiting, in a soft light. At the beginning, she thought that maybe it was normal, but now after those first few moments, which seemed an eternity, she was a little angry at, well, at 'them'.

"Hey! I'm still here!" She shouted after a moment of silence. She had enough of waiting and wished something, anything would happen. But she hadn't thought a second that it would be what occurred next.

"Buffy?" A known voice said, emerging from a sort of cloud.

"No, it's not…that can't be…" She couldn't believe it.

She turned slowly where the voice came from. Except that now, it was not anymore an unknown form, but…Him.

"Giles?" She asked tentatively.

"Buffy!" he said with relief and joy.

He took her in his arms and held her tightly. Buffy hadn't moved yet; she was still under the shock of his presence.

Gently she moved her arms around him and hugged him back.

"Giles," Buffy managed to say, "how? Why? What are you doing here? I can't believe you're really here. At first I thought it was my imagination, but you seem too real. So How?" she said in one breath.

Giles looked at her with a lot of emotions; he was perplexed, relieved, happy and also angry at her. Taking a deep breath, "Buffy, I think I'm the one to ask you what you are doing here."

He didn't know how to react at what she said to him, "I'm waiting for the big light."

He looked at her with surprise; he couldn't believe it.

"You know, I wonder if it's not a big lie after all. Cause I've beenhere for a long long time and nothing, nada, rien!" She said dramatically.

Giles was lost by her attitude.

"We were waiting for him to come." They heard a voice coming from a big light. Then, a form got out from it.

"At last! You took your time; and wait, you were waiting for Giles?" Buffy exhaled.

"Buffy, I'm sure that there is an explanation. And me?" Giles asked incredulously.

"Yes." The messenger of the PTB answered.

"Excuse-me!" Buffy exclaimed, "I'm not happy with that; I was the first here, and I've been waiting here for a long time." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Buffy?!?" Giles was astounding by her reaction.

"Not a so long time. And you haven't understood. We were waiting for him…for you."

The expression of Buffy was a total "Huh?!?"; as for Giles, it was not so different.

"What do you mean by that?" Giles asked.

"I don't care about that. I'm here for a long time," Buffy glared at the messenger, "I'm the first."

"And you are. But his coming was necessary."

Giles blinked, it was surrealistic.

The messenger pursued, "As I said," he looked from Giles to Buffy, "we were waiting for the coming of Rupert to offer you the choice."

"The choice?" Buffy and Giles said in unison.

He nodded silently.

"The choice?" Giles repeated.

"The choice for Buffy to go with me or," turning to Giles, "to go with you." The messenger explained.

"I see." Giles moved lightly his head, "So, she can go and live."

The messenger agreed in silence.

Buffy was watching the exchange and hadn't said a word yet; then Giles took her hand and said, "In that case, the choice is made. We're going."

"No," she whispered.

Giles stopped dead. He hadn't imagined, even for a second that she could refuse to go with him.

"I…I beg your pardon!" He tried to stay calm, "What…what have you said?"

"I said, no. I don't want to go with you." She told softly, not looking at him.

His eyes closed, Giles put one of his hands at his head, massaging lightly his temple.

"Buffy," he tried again, "whatever the problem is, we can talk about it," he looked around him, "outside." He wanted to reason with her.

She turned to the messenger, "Why? Why is he here? There is no reason for his presence!" She said aloud.

"He's here, because contrary at what you said, you haven't chosen. With him here, you have the possibility to really make your choice." The messenger replied.

Hearing that, Giles was lifted from his dream, or rather nightmare. He regained hope. Nothing was lost, and even if in appearance Buffy seemed to be sure of what she wanted, it wasn't the reality.

"Buffy-"

"No, Giles." This time she was determined, "I said that I didn't want to go with you. I meant it. I don't go anywhere, except in that light!" She shouted at him.

Giles couldn't take any more, he put his arms on hers, and shaking her, he screamed at her, "Buffy, do you realize what you are saying?"

"Of course, I do." She retorted to him, "What do you think? That I'm so stupid and completely crazy that I can't even know what I say!" she was too angry.

Giles sighed, "Stupid, no. Crazy, for now, I keep my opinion to myself, seeing you." He tried to get back his calm.

"Giles!"

"Buffy," he began, "he said that you are not obligated to go with him, to…" He was painful to say it, but he got on himself to tell it, "to die, Buffy." He was looking at her seriously. "You can choose to go with me and decide to live."

"Why?" She asked, looking at him.

"What?"

"Yes, Why? Give me a reason why I should go with you rather than go into the light."

Giles was dismayed.

Before he could say something, she raised her hand, "And don't talk about my duty as the slayer; Faith is here, remember." Then, in a murmur, she added, "And, it's not like someone will miss me."

Little by little, things began clear for Giles. He began to understand what his slayer had tried to tell him.

"You can't say that, Buffy. You have no right to tell me things like that. Do you forget your friends? Do you think they won't be sad, and they won't miss you?"

"At the beginning, but after some time I'm sure they will be okay, and…and-"

"No Buffy. They won't. What do you think, Buffy? They are here, there," he put his hands in the air. "Willow, Xander, Oz and even Anya are" he moved again one of his hand in the air, "outside, waiting for you!"

"For You!" He shouted again.

She said nothing. She couldn't, she knew that he was right; but how, how to tell him, how to explain to him that…She closed her eyes.

"I have nothing there, Giles," she said softly.

Giles struggled to remain himself and to not explode.

"That's wrong! You have friends…and me!"

"No, nothing!" She cried, "and especially not you!"

"Buffy," Giles said gentle, "you're wrong. You have me, you always have me."

She shook her head sadly, "No, I haven't."

"Buffy, believe me."

She shook her head again in negation. "No, you tell me that only because you want me to follow you. And after, I know that you will let me." She was in tears.

"No, Buffy, never!"

"Yes, and…" she sobbed, "and you have the right to have a life, Giles. Without my problems and me. Like that you will be happy, and have a real life."

"Buffy, no! How can you say that!" He couldn't actually believe what she said, how she could think that, how! He wondered what…*Of course.* He realized.

"Buffy," he caressed her cheek, "my sweet Buffy, how could you think that? Don't you understand that without you, I have no life." His eyes on her were tender, full of love.

"No, please," it was a plea from Buffy.

"Please what? Tell me Buffy." He urged her.

"Please,…don't say things like that just…just to take me back. It hurts too much."

"Why? Buffy, explain to me."

"Because…because I'm in love with you!" she said, trying to contain her tears.

"Oh, Buffy!" He took her in his arms. "I've been in love with you since…always."

He felt her shake her head.

"Buffy," he took her face in his hands, "Look at me!" "Look at me!" He repeated.

He waited that she looked at him, in his eyes, in his soul. Maybe, if she didn't believe his words--he suspected that she was afraid to believe--she could believe him. He hoped she could see his unconditional love for her.

"Buffy, I don't say that for you to follow me. That would be a horrible and monstrous thing from me."

"I know, not consciously but-"

"No, but." He cut her off, putting his fingers on her mouth. "I say that because I love you. You're my life."

He hoped he had succeeded in convincing her, and was almost sure he had when suddenly, a voice reminded them that they weren't alone.

"Time for you to go." The messenger said to Giles.

Buffy was looking at him, crying.

"What! No! You said that I would be here until she made her choice." Giles said desperately.

"And she did." The messenger replied calmly.

"Buffy?" Giles turned to her, held to her so tightly by the fact he was so afraid, full of fear to have failed, to not have managed to convince her. *That can't be! I refuse to believe that!*

"I did, Giles. I'm sorry." She sobbed.

Then, when she said to him her next words, he hadn't suspected that he could feel so much pain.

"Forgive me." She was looking at him in tears.

"Buffy, No!"

Then, he was gone.

She watched him disappear. There was only her and the messenger now.

"You chose. Are you sure?" He asked.

"Why? I can't change my mind now that he's gone. Like you said-"

"I said that with his presence, you had the possibility to make your choice. Which that meant that you had all the elements to take your decision." Then, he added, "Having and knowing that, if you wish, you can still change your choice."

"No," she said firmly.

He leaned his head, "So, the choice is made. It will be respected."

IN THE MEANWHILE, AT THE CEMETARY

Giles woke up slowly, mumbling "Buffy."

"Giles? Giles?" Willow called him softly.

"Will-Willow?"

"Yes," she responded.

"Giles, are you okay. And Buffy?" Xander asked with eagerness.

Giles blinked several times, he was really with them, half laying over his Buffy.

Everyone waited impatiently for him to say something, or…Buffy.

He looked at them, then, ghostly, he turned his gaze to his slayer. He took her in his arms, and he couldn't keep his tears anymore. He was crying hard.

"Giles, are you- are you ok?" Willow was beginning to be very afraid, as were the others.

"Buffy! Why? Why haven't you believed me? Why?" He was rocking her, "My love, my Buffy!" He was in tears.

"You…you mean-" Xander couldn't finish his sentence; tears in his eyes.

"No!" Willow cried. Oz took her in his arms and hugged her tightly; he didn't know what to say to her, to them; and the truth was, he wasn't sure he was able to speak.

Anya hadn't known until now that she could feel that sort of feeling, a such sadness. She searched for Xander, incomprehension in her eyes; he took her hand, then, they held each other. Never had they held each other like that.

As for Giles, he was still holding Buffy.

His life.

NEXT