TITLE : WHEN WILL YOU SEE ME ?
PART : 7/?
AUTHOR : Catherine
DISCLAIMER : Joss owns all
FEEDBACK : Absolutely, Please. Love it
KNOCK, KNOCK
"Wait a minute, please," Joyce requested.
She opened the door and asked, "Yes?" She didn't know why, but she felt very uncomfortable with this stranger who examined her!!!
"Hello, can I help you?"
"You're Buffy's mother?"
"Yes, I am. And You, You-"
"How was she able to do this to him?" exclaimed an angry voice.
"Excuse me! But who are you? And what are you talking about?"
"I'm a Rupert's friend, Olivia. But I want to warn you; I don't know what her game is, but I won't let her make Rupert believe she's blind just to have his attention back. It's intolerable!"
"Are you saying that my daughter…How are you able to? Come here, and say that!!!" exploded Joyce.
"Me! It's her! And her incredible story about her sudden blindness!"
"You think Buffy's pretending, that she's lying!?!"
"Yes. It's so pathetic, and naturally, she's lying. Who could believe- " She couldn't finish her sentence. Joyce slapped her, and said, "Normally I'm not like this; but, for you, I'll make an exception." And with a cold voice she added, "Listen to me, my daughter doesn't play any games. Now go away."
At that moment, Buffy appeared.
She looked in the direction of the door and asked to her mother, "Mom, who is it?"
Olivia didn't understand, *She looked at me, so…*
"Honey, it's a mistake."
"But that perfume," Buffy said, "Olivia!"
"It's true, you're really…"
"Yes, I am. Happy?"
"Can we talk?" asked Olivia.
"Why? To savor-"
"It's important. Please."
It was like a request, and coming from Olivia, it was a first.
"If you want," Buffy replied, shrugging her shoulders.
Joyce looked at her daughter, "Buffy?"
"It's all right, Mom."
They went to the living room.
"Mom, I'm sure some tea would be great."
"Sure, Buffy." Before leaving the room, Joyce glanced at Olivia with a look saying 'If you hurt her…' It was a message that Olivia understood completely.
"I'm sorry," began Olivia.
"You? Sorry?" Smirked Buffy.
"Yes, I am. I didn't know, I thought it was a thing from a child and-"
"I'm not a CHILD!!! And it's not a `thing!'"
"Yes, your mom made me understand it." Olivia said, touching her cheek. "Buffy, I know you don't think a lot about me, but my affection for Rupert is real."
"I don't doubt it!" whispered Buffy.
Without listening her, Olivia pursued, "I love him, and I'm really worried about him."
"Olivia-"
"I've known him for years; from back when he was, well, a sort of an another person-"
"Ripper." It was more a statement that a question from Buffy.
"He told you! Anyway, we were younger than now," Olivia grinned, "but it's not only that. When I met him first, he…it's hard to say or to believe, but he, and the others, used magic."
"And?"
Olivia was stunned by her reaction; she didn't expect that.
Then, she realized, "You know, do you?"
"Yes, I do."
"What do you know exactly?"
Buffy felt a sort of satisfaction; it seemed she was beating Olivia at her own little game.
"What do you want to know, Olivia? You know already that I know about Ripper, and his friends, I know even Ethan…I know the significance of his tattoo and why Ripper has disappeared."
"Randall," said Olivia softly, "His death was terrible. For all of us."
"You…and the others?" asked shyly Buffy.
"No, it's a little more complicated than that." Then she added, thinking, "or simpler than that. I don't know."
There was a silence.
"Buffy, if you know about, well, magic; do you know about the other… things?"
"You mean like vampires, demons, and the rest of it?!?" Buffy grinned.
Suddenly, "It wasn't a joke!" Olivia realized, "You're…you're the Slayer?" It was more a statement than a question, "His Slayer."
"Yes, I am, Buffy the exceptional, wonderful Vampire Slayer." She was smiling.
"And Spike was a-"
"Yes, Spike is a vampire. But he fights with us."
"How? He's a vampire?"
"Yeah, but a vampire in love. Spike's in love with Willow since- Well, to summarize, he kidnapped her but she kidnapped his heart."
"But how? I mean he could bite her…"
"She is a witch. It helps, believe me. I misunderstood, or you acted like you were interested by our life?"
Olivia looked at her, really.
"He told me that never he would have a slayer."
"And Buffy appeared. Tada," she grinned.
"It's strange. I know all this was real. Well, I even participated. But a part of me is always…"
"Yes, it's weird."
"Your blindness is due to-"
"Magic. Demon."
"Sorry."
"So, you and Ripper?"
"No, like I told you, I knew him for a long time. And I always saw him as my protector."
"Protector from vampires and demons?"
"No."
"From what then?"
"From me."
"From you? I'm lost. Why?"
"Now, it's you who seem interested by me," Olivia teased her.
*Olivia's joking! Maybe it's the end of the world after all!* Buffy thought, but she felt too how Olivia seemed tense, and made a strong effort to continue.
"Like I said, I know Rupert since his Ripper's days. I knew the group, but I didn't fit in."
"But you said you had participated?"
"Yes, but I helped the person who helped him to 'come back'."
It was painful. Buffy didn't know why, but the mention of this person, which she hadn't any clue about, was obviously hard for Olivia. *He didn't tell me about that!*
"James and Rupert were friends--very close, like brothers--since their childhood. When Rupert disappeared for Ripper, James had never, ever lost hope of bringing Rupert back. And when Ripper called for help, James didn't hesitate a second. I'm sure Rupert would have done the same for him."
"So, you helped James."
"Yes, we helped him. It was long and painful. Magic is like a drug, a powerful drug. James never left him, even for a moment, and nor I did; but even if I did all I could do, I felt powerless."
"He never told me how…; I'm so selfish sometimes. Maybe I thought one day he woke up and said 'Bye Bye Ripper, Rupert is back'," said Buffy sadly. Joyce, who listened, or spied a little, thought it was the good moment to bring the tea.
"Olivia, do you want something in the tea?"
"Yes, thanks. A dash of milk would be perfect."
"Buffy, are you all right?"
"Yes, Mom, I'm fine."
"She has said exactly the same thing since the beginning of...well of it. Each time the others or I ask her how she is, she always tells us 'I'm fine'," she grinned.
Olivia looked at her and understood; she wanted to relax the atmosphere, at least for a moment.
"Do they ever wonder about that?"
"Buffy's always in the room, remember."
"How can I forget, honey?"
"Ah very funny, Mom."
They drank in a relative silence.
"Olivia, have you never thought to have children?"
Olivia wore a painful expression.
"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."
"It's nothing. In fact, we thought about it a time ago."
She couldn't help but feel a satisfaction seeing Buffy thinking it would be... *She's really blind to think that.* It was, well, a little amusing.
*They thought, Giles and…No it can't be.*
Buffy was miserable, and, after a moment, Olivia explained, "It's not what you think Buffy. Nevertheless seeing your face was interesting."
Olivia pursued, "As I said, some time ago, my…my husband and I thought about having children. Unfortunately…Hum, the tea is made like the English way. I'm impressed."
*Husband?* thought Joyce and Buffy together.
Joyce was the first to talk, "Thanks. To tell the truth, Rupert taught Buffy how to make the tea. She shared her knowledge with me," she grinned.
"Rupert? Mom, since when do you call him that?"
"It's his first name, honey."
"You know what I mean, mom," Buffy said, a little exasperated.
"Well, I thought it was time and more friendly."
"Huh!"
"At your place, I wouldn't be surprised Buffy. After all, Rupert will be a real member of your family," added Olivia.
"Re: Huh?!?"
"Well, it's evident. Rupert is-"
"Everyone is fine here?"
"Spike. Come on we're in the living room," said Joyce.
"Olivia this is-"
"Yes, I know."
"Yeah, we met. Olive!"
Buffy was laughing.
"Olivia," Olivia corrected.
"Sorry."
Spike spied her, and looking at Olivia, who seemed a little uncomfortable with his glare; that pleased him, and he asked, "Everything's alright?"
"Yes, Spike." said Joyce, Buffy nodded.
Olivia was examining him, *A vampire!* she thought.
"Boo." screamed Spike to her, failing to get her to let go of her cup of tea.
"Always funny," smiled Spike, "So, you here because you saw the lights on or because you wanted to waste our time?"
"No, I…I wanted to check something for myself," retorted Olivia.
"Yeah."
"You're…I mean, you're really a-"
"A bloody vampire. Yes Ma'am." He said with a grin, then added, "You got a problem with that?"
"No, it's fine. I mean…no, no problem." She paused, "How, how is it to be, well-"
"To be a vampire?" he finished for her.
"Yes."
"Well, there is some advantages, like the economy on solar cream; and other things," he shrugged his shoulders.
"Spike is a good help, and a good friend. All of us trust him." Joyce said with conviction, seeing the distrust in Olivia's eyes.
"Thanks Joyce. I'm touched," he said, touching his chest.
"It's true." she replied.
"But he is a vampire. How do you know for sure he won't kill you?" asked Olivia.
"Are you crazy? Willow will kill me, if I would do that! No, kill me would be nice, and, technically, I am already dead, but she would transform me in…into a toad, I'm bloody sure. You're silly. I'm on the good side."
"Yes, but what I mean-"
"I trust Spike with my life," said Buffy, "like I trust the others. And I know all of them trust Spike too. Besides, I think that's not your concern."
"Spike, would you like a hot chocolate?" asked Joyce. She felt Buffy wanted to pursue her previous conversation with Olivia. The interruption had been welcome but now…
"Sure," he replied.
With that, Joyce and Spike left Buffy and Olivia and headed for the kitchen.
Buffy was the first to speak, "You were married, Olivia? I didn't suspect it."
"Yes, I was. And before you ask, we were very happy. He was my life."
*My life* these words reminded Buffy of Giles' words he had said her earlier: "That you're my life," he had said. *Focus Buffy. Yeah, focus on that. Her husband was her life; I'm Giles' life, and he's-"
"Buffy, are you alright?" Olivia asked her,
"Hum?"
"You seem lost in your thoughts."
"Me? No. Well, yeah, a little. It's…it's just what you said. That I remembered something."
"May I ask what?" asked Olivia, even she had an idea. She had seen Buffy's expression when she had mentioned 'He was my life,' it was easy to understand having seen the two separated and together.
"It's not important really." Buffy was uncomfortable.
"If you said it, who I am to contradict."
After a moment, "James." said Olivia.
"Pardon me?"
"His name was James."
"Nice name. James? You mean the James who helped Giles!"
"Incredible, you listened to me!" said Olivia with sarcasm.
Buffy asked "You told me, Giles is your 'protector' from you; is it because of him?"
Olivia waited a moment, to collect her thoughts.
"When James died, it was hard for Rupert. I mean they were so close; always here for each other, even without question." She paused a moment, then, "But me, I was destroyed. Rupert helped me, saved me, and, thanks to him, I managed to pursue my life, but James is always here with me."
"He's a part of you," replied Buffy. For some strange reason she understood her.
"Yes. Always. Like Giles is for you."
"Giles is just my Watcher; ex-Watcher, nothing more." Buffy said.
"Are you really blind?" Then Olivia apologized, "Sorry. That's not what I wanted to say."
"I hope," Buffy murmured.
"Buffy, he's more than your Watcher, or ex-Watcher, and you know that. He's yours. He's in love with you. Like you are with him."
"I can't be," Buffy said in a whisper.
"Buffy, believe me, love is too precious and rare. When you find it, don't let it go for stupid reasons. Go to him. You need each other."
"I can't," Buffy said louder.
"Why?" Olivia said and with shock added, "It's because…Do you think your condition matters to him? Do you think he won't want to be with you because of that?" she asked angrily.
Buffy didn't respond, and tears began to form.
"How can you think so little of him?"
"You don't understand, Olivia. I can't do this to him!" she screamed.
"What? Tell me?"
"Now, it's you who are blind," said Buffy coldly.
Then, Olivia realized.
"Buffy, he loves you. Your state-"
"My state may be permanent, and I don't want to impose it on him, Olivia," and, in a whisper she added, "I love him too much to do that to him."
"Buffy, I realize this must be very…well, to tell the truth I don't know how you feel. But I know how he does. Buffy, have you any idea how he was when he returned from your conversation? When he returned and learnt what happened to you…Buffy, I have never see him like that, ever. He's like a tiger in a cage. I'm really, really worried about him."
"Olivia, it'll pass. He has right to have a life." said Buffy.
"When will you understand, Buffy? Without you, he has no life. Buffy, you're his life; don't you know that?"
"Olivia, why do you do that?"
"I already told you what. Because I love him and want his happiness. I can be his protector now and help him."
"So you love him. With you he might forget me."
"Buffy, I love him, but I'm not in love with him! Even if I was, and I'm not, he's in love with you. Not me. You're really stubborn!"
Buffy thought a moment, and, "Olivia, I'm friends with Xander and Spike, and I don't sleep with either of them!"
*She doesn't make things easy! Why am I not really surprised?* thought Olivia.
"Buffy," Olivia said after a moment, "Rupert and I are friends, only friends. When I came in Sunnydale, both of us were alone and needed comfort. That's all. Nothing else, believe me." Olivia supplied practically.
"Alone?" Buffy didn't believe her ears. "Alone!" she repeated, angrily, "What do you mean by alone?" She was really angry, "I was here. Last summer we spent together; I was with him! Not with the others, with him! And you said he was alone! How can you say that?!?"
"With him, Buffy. But not the way he wanted to be with you, or the way he wanted you 'see' him."
"I always see him!"
"You were and you are afraid. It's the reason you use your state; you hide behind it."
"What! Who are you to tell me that? You have no right!" Buffy screamed.
"For Rupert, I have the right!" Olivia replied.
The exchange between them was fast,
Buffy tried to recompose herself, *I'm not afraid. She's wrong!*
"You're wrong." Buffy said calmly.
"Really?"
"Yes. If I act like that, it's because I don't want to hurt him. I hurt him too much in the past. It's better for him if…if-"
"You're wrong. Buffy, I don't know how much you hurt him in the past; but I know at this moment, he hurts. You're hurting him. While I'm talking to you, he's more hurt than you may imagine. You're the one who is able to take away his sadness and pain. It's with you he will be happy."
"I need to think. Olivia, I really thought that it would be better for him if…if I would disappear from his life."
"Buffy, you couldn't ever, never disappear from his life because-"
"I'm his life, just like he's mine," Buffy cut back at her.
"Yes. And believe me, even death can't change that. I know it," Olivia finished in a whisper.
Buffy heard her. For the first time she heard someone who tried to talk about Giles. She had to make a decision. *No, not make a decision, because it's already been made, since, well, always,* she thought. Now, she had to act, to take the 'first' step.
"I'm the Slayer, Olivia; I fight, beat demons, vampires and other stuff. But when it comes to Giles, Arghh. But you're right. I…I won't push him away anymore."
"Finally. Go to him, Buffy; he's waiting for you. Well, I think it's time to go."
She got up, and at that moment, Joyce entered in the room. "You're leaving?" she asked.
"Yes, I think is over for me here. Thanks for the tea."
"You're welcome. I'll see you to the door."
"Thanks. Bye, Buffy."
"Bye, Olivia." Buffy replied, "And thanks for…this."
"Take care."