TITLE : WHEN WILL YOU SEE ME ?
PART : 8/?
AUTHOR : Catherine
DISCLAIMER : Joss owns all
FEEDBACK : Absolutely, Please. Love it

"So, you two think she's right, yeah?"

"About what?"

"You know, Spike, you're a lot of things but a spy—No!"

"I thought that I was discrete!" he mumbled, "Hey, how do you know that, after all?"

"Well, I don't know. It's like I knew it. I felt it. Never mind, don't change the subject. Answer me."

"Why, you know the answer, right?" He took a moment, then said, "Yes."

"Mom? You agree, right."

"Yes."

"And…Me too. Great! What will I do?" she asked sadly.

"Buffy, you know the decision is yours, Honey."

After a moment she asked, "Mom, would you want to drive me to Giles', please?"

"Of course. Spike?"

"I stay at the house. Oh, and I'll tell to the others the good news."

"Spike!" said Buffy.

"What?" He asked 'innocently'.

IN THE CAR

"Buffy."

"Hum?"

"There's no reason to be so nervous. Don't forget, he loves you, and you love him."

"Mom, I…how…well, I thought that you-"

"What? That I would like to scratch his face, or scream, 'Don't touch my daughter, you old pervert!'"

"Something like that. Except the part 'scratch his face'."

"I said 'face' but I could have said-"

"Oh, Mom!" Buffy shook her head.

Joyce was chuckling, and said "Buffy, I won't lie to you. At the beginning, I was completely against this. But with time, seeing each other, your love…Buffy, I want you to be happy; with Rupert you will be. I know that."

"At the beginning?" asked Buffy, incredulously.

Seeing her, Joyce was laughing--a little loud, in Buffy's opinion.

"Mom? What? I don't see why it's so funny!"

"But it's really funny, Buffy. I'm sure you and Rupert are the only people who didn't know it. Sometimes you two can be so oblivious, when it was so obvious. Even Jerry knows!"

"What?!? Jerry? The pizza delivery man!" exclaimed Buffy. "I don't believe it," she mumbled.

"Honey," Joyce was laughing, "everyone who looks at you two sees that. You're so close and share so much. Sometimes it's like you're in your own world."

"I didn't realize it was so…so clear to everyone."

"Yes, and the list is long. Your glances at each other; your faculty to finish the sentence of the other; your jealousy-"

"I'm not-"

"Oh really?"

"Okay, maybe I am, a little, but-"

"Buffy, not only you, him too."

"Him…I mean, you said that Giles was jealous if I-"

"Yes, he is."

"Yeah," smiled Buffy.

"So, you see, you don't have any reason to be nervous. Everything will be all right, Buffy. Don't worry. And he told you that he loves you."

"Mom? Unless I made a mistake, you called him 'Rupert', right?"

"Yes, I did. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Nope, but…you always called him 'Mr. Giles' or 'that man' when you're angry about him. So, it's a little strange, is all."

"Maybe, but I think it's time. And, well, soon…Oh my god!"

"What?" asked Buffy, a little worried.

"I just realized, he will be my son-in-law."

"Mom! We're not at that step yet. Before, there are some…some steps!"

"Hum. Which are?"

"Mom!" Buffy exclaimed.

Joyce was laughing at Buffy's statement. Hearing her mother, she was giggling too.

"Here you are, Buffy."

Buffy didn't respond, "Buffy?" her mother asked again.

"Yes."

"Buffy, if you want to talk to him, you must get out of this car and walk to his door."

"I can't!" said a panicked Buffy.

"Yes, you can, Buffy."

"No…I…I mean, I can't. It's…No. Please, take me home Mom. I was wrong- "

"Buffy. You're my daughter, and I love you; you know that, don't you?"

Buffy nodded, and Joyce continued, "and you're the slayer. You're a strong, nice, lovely, smart woman."

Buffy was a little afraid, when her mother acted like that it wasn't a good thing. "Mom, what's your point?"

"Well, I just want to tell you…Go talk to him, Buffy. And that's an order!"

"All right Mom…You don't need to push me out of the car. And I always wear my seatbelt!"

When Buffy managed to unfasten it, Joyce went with her to the front of Giles' door.

"Buffy. Everything will be fine." With that, Joyce kissed her and after added, "It's time. See you later."

"Right. Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome." And Joyce let her here. Alone.

*Okay, let's go,* Buffy thought, and after a deeply breath…Knock.

KNOCK KNOCK

Buffy was in front of his door, waiting for his response. When he didn't respond as fast as she wished, her mind continued to think. *Oh, stop Buffy!* she yelled at herself, *I can do it…after all it's Giles…right, and it's because it's Giles that it is so…Stop thinking. Good, now I have a debate with myself; to think or not to think, that is the question? Okay, better than think, act! Right, I'm going…Maybe I should knock? Wait, I already knocked, and he hasn't responded yet.

Noting the lack of response, she opened the door and came into the flat tentatively.

"Giles. Giles," she called, without success; then she closed the door.

She walked further into the room. "Oh!" she said with surprise. She managed to walk further, but again, "Ouch!" "What is that?!?"

She tried another place and, "Ah, again…it's everywhere."

On the entire floor there were books, opened, here…and Buffy was walking on it.

"Giles," she screamed, "Come here, now!"

"B…Buffy?" he came in the room, "What…You're here?"

"Yes, and No. To tell the truth, I try, but there are some… difficulties," she said with a tentative smile.

Giles was shocked by her presence; after their discussion, he was sure she would never come here., and that she wouldn't see him anymore.

*She's really here, it's not a dream?!?* he thought.

"Hum, Giles could you…please?" she said, indicating the floor.

"Ah yes. Naturally. Sorry."

"You know, Giles, it's really dangerous to leave books around like that. Unless you now want a broken slayer," she teased him; but Giles didn't think it was at all funny.

"Never." he said with force and pain.

Buffy felt it, and immediately tried to repair her mistake; "Giles. I…I didn't mean it that way. I was just kidding." She wasn't sure, but for a moment, she believed that she heard a sob--more precisely a 'hidden sob' from Giles.

After a moment of trying to recompose himself, Giles couldn't say another thing except "Buffy."

"So, what are you doing? I mean with all these books…everywhere."

She was nervous, more nervous because now she was afraid for him. Olivia had told her about his attitude after his return, *What expression has she used? Oh yes, `He's like a tiger in a cage.' She was right!* Buffy thought.

"I'm doing some research."

"Some?" she asked, pointing at the floor.

"Yes. I…searched for information about the demon and how to defeat it." He prepared himself for her objection; "I know you told me-"

"I was wrong," she cut him off, and in a whisper, she added, "About a lot of things."

"So Giles, have you found something?"

"Unfortunately, not yet. But I'm sure I remember having read something somewhere about this demon; if only I could…The demon's destiny, maybe? Where is it?"

Buffy heard him run, "Giles? Great, now I have to find the sofa in this 'book-jungle'."

Carefully, she tried to make her way to the sofa, between the books.

"I hope this is the sofa. And not a 'book-sofa'!" she said to herself.

"No! No! No! It's not here!" Giles lost patience; he was completely obsessed by his research.

And obsessed was a 'little' word for it. When Xander had left him, he was completely under the shock of the news. The realization of what he had learnt hit him with such force, that when he came in his flat, Olivia missed him. When she asked him what was the problem, he told her about Buffy's condition while he began his research, taking one book after another. He was so 'absorbed' by that, and to tell the truth, needed to focus on something if he didn't want to lose his mind, that he didn't really pay attention that he had mumbled a "Bye" to Olivia when she had said him "Goodbye" and left the apartment.

Buffy, who heard him, tried again; "Giles," she said a little louder, "Giles! Could you, please, come here?"

"Buffy!" He approached her.

"Giles, I think you need some rest. Sometimes, taking a moment, I mean, stopping what you're doing and thinking about another thing, helps to find the solution of the first problem," she smiled.

"Buffy!?!" He blinked his eyes; then, "Are you trying to say me, in a strange way, that I need to occupy my mind elsewhere, and the solution will hit me when I'm not thinking about it?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed.

"But I…we have no time! I must-"

"Giles," she cut him with her hand, "we have time. Or we will take it. But for now, we need to talk about some…stuff." She was blushing. "And you know what is the better way to talk?"

"No." Giles answered, a little lost by her attitude.

"With tea!" she said triumphantly.

"Tea? I would have preferred a scotch," he murmured, but she heard his comment.

"What!?!" she said, outraged.

"Buffy, if you don't mind, I have some research to do. I…You're here?"

Buffy was worried, his voice had changed suddenly at the end of his sentence, and it was like, for the first time since her arrival, he realized she was here.

Giles took her face in his hands, and, for a moment, accepted the in his heart and in his head the peace of her presence. He needed to touch her, to accept the fact she was really here. That calmed him. "You're here," he said softly, savoring this precious moment of that realization. His voice was full of emotions, like joy and especially full of love. And Buffy heard it. *Love. It's pure Love in his voice. Mom was right, I had no reason to be worried,* she thought.

"Yes, Giles. I'm here," Buffy answered, coverting his hands with her own. "I'm here," she repeated, then took him into her arms. He began to shake.

"Oh Buffy. How…I failed you; I abandoned you. You came to me here, and…could you ever forgive me?"

"Shh Giles," Buffy said, caressing his back, "There is nothing to forgive. But you, you need to forgive yourself; although there is nothing to forgive yourself for, because if I understood correctly, for once," she grinned, and Giles chuckled more lightly, "nobody knew what was going to happen."

"I would have been with you, and-"

"And what, Giles?" she asked defiantly. "If you've not forgotten, I'm the slayer. It was, is my duty to fight the demons. I already fight without you," she felt him tense. "Giles, it wasn't your fault. It was just unlucky."

"But-"

"No buts, Giles. And stop that, what is done is done. Now, w…" she was not sure if she could say 'we', "I mean, I-"

"We, Buffy, together. You can say it. We will face it together. We will find a way."

"Yes, we." She smiled. Giles looked at her, and seeing her smile warmed him.

They stayed like that for a moment, just holding each other.

"Hum… Giles," Buffy finally said.

"What?"

"You know, I haven't really eaten anything since breakfast, and I wondered if-"

"Of course. After all, I think you asked for tea."

"Yep. With some, you know, those strange cakes."

"There are not strange, Buffy. They're 'scones'."

"Whatever you say. As long as I can eat some of them," she teased him.

"As much as you want, my dear," he replied.

Buffy felt him looking at her, felt the intensity; it was like he saw and touched her soul, and like she could feel his. And…he kissed her.

It was a pure moment of joy, peace, and now they were at home; they had finally found each other, and they knew it.

"Wow…" Buffy was getting her breath back, and Giles responded, "Indeed."

Buffy laughed. "You know it's really funny," she said.

"What? Buffy! May I know what is so funny? I hope is not the kiss," he tried to be light but was insecure.

"What!?! Oh no, Giles! The kiss was Wow, big Wow."

"So what is it?"

"You. And the fact that twice in the same day I succeeded in making you wordless. It's a record," she giggled.

Giles couldn't help but chuckled at her remark.

"Yes, love. Incredible."

"Love? You…you called me Love?"

"Yes, I did. Buffy, you're my love. Always."

Tears were in her eyes, and she held him in her arms.

"Buffy!?!"

"Not `Buffy'. Love," she corrected him.

"Right Love. But please, you always have your strength, but I need to breath."

"Oops. Sorry! Are you alright? I hope I didn't 'break' anything."

"Don't worry."

"You're sure? Maybe I should make an inspection. you know, just in case…I prefer to be prudent," she said suggestively.

"Ah…yes. You're right. I'm sure I will like your inspection. But for now, you need to eat something."

He kissed her again before he went to the kitchen.

At that moment the phone rang, and the answering machine picked it up.

It was Olivia.

"Hi, Rupert. It's Olivia, about tonight…"

Giles was in the kitchen when he heard the message started, and wasn't able to pick up the phone before the answering machine. He slapped his forehead with his right hand, and Buffy heard him mumbled an annoyed "Oh no!"

"Giles, what is it?" she asked with concern.

"I totally forgot-"

"…our dinner." Olivia continued.

"Yes," he said at the answering machine.

He was going to pick up the phone, and wondered how he could manage…'the situation' when…

"If all is working well, I presume it's canceled-"

"What?" he said with surprise and…shock.

"Don't worry about me, I reserved a room in the Hotel…and as for my clothes, I will take them later."

"What?!?" he said a little louder than before, even though Olivia wouldn't be able to hear him.

"I wish you a great evening. I love you. Bye."

"How?" Giles was lost, and the next comment from Buffy, lost him a little more.

"Olivia is a good friend, Giles."

At her sentence, he blinked and asked "What?!?"

Buffy giggled, hearing his total incredulity and sense of being lost. "Buf…Love, do you understand that I haven't any clue of what happened?"

With all the serious she could, she answered too simply by a "Yes."

For Giles it was just incredible.

"Why I have the strange impression that you, you know exactly what's happening?"

"Maybe…because do I know," she grinned.

"So…Could you tell me?

"Tell you what, Rupinou?" she inquired innocently.

"What's the…Wait, did I dream or did you call me 'Rupinou'?"

"Yes. But I think you don't agree."

"It's the least you can say."

"Okay. And you're right. Gilesinou is better," she grinned.

"Buffy," Giles said with a 'dangerous' tone.

"All right," she capitulated, with exaggeration.

"So…"

"What?"

"You're trying to not answer me."

She didn't know how to begin, *After all, the best way is maybe… * "It hasn't been easy for you, the loss of…James."

When Giles kept silent, she thought, *Maybe that was not the best way, after all.* And, panicked, she said, "Giles, I didn't want to-"

"I think the tea is ready. I'll come right back."

"Giles."

"You need to eat, Buffy."

With that, he went to the kitchen to take the plate.

*Good job, Buffy.* she thought.

Giles took advantage of the 'break' to collect his thoughts and feelings…and to prepare himself for the discussion. He always knew that some day he should talk about it with her. *The time has come,* he thought, and after some deep breaths, he returned to the living room.

She heard him, and began, "I'm sorry, I…Giles, the last thing I want to do is-"

"And you aren't," he cut her off. With that, he gave her a cup of tea.

Giles was the first to break the silence.

"So Olivia and you have talked."

"Yes, she came to the house, some time after our 'discussion'."

"I see."

She waited, knowing him like he knew her. She knew he needed time to begin and talk about it.

After a moment, which seemed an eternity, Giles, who was sitting beside her on the couch, asked, "So, what did she tell you about… him?" finishing his question in a whisper.

"In fact, not a lot," Buffy answered uncomfortably. It was not really a lie, but not really the truth either.

"Maybe you should let me judge of that," Giles said.

"Yeah. Well, she told me that you and-" she hesitated a moment; she didn't know if she could say his name, hearing his reaction when he said it.

Seeing her hesitation, Giles, who wanted to reassure her, told her "It's alright, you can use his name."

She sighed, "So, she told me that you and…James were very close since your childhood. That you always helped each other, if one of you was in need…like the end of your Ripper days." She was not sure if she was right, but she felt him waiting, suspecting there was another thing.

"And that he was her husband." she grinned.

"I…understand" Giles said, not wanted to repeat his mistake. He was attentive, tried to be very careful at the expression he could use; 'I see.' was in that case, not really appropriate, and even if Buffy seemed to 'be in agreement' with her 'temporary' condition, Giles wasn't really convinced about that (and what Willow had told earlier served to confirm that for him). He knew she probably would have joked about it, saying something like 'Yes, you do but not me.' He knew her so well, like she knew him, even when she was trying to hide how she really felt.

Neither of them knew how or when, but it was a fact. He had read a lot about the slayer/watcher interaction. It was in his readings that he had always kept hope. Hope that one day…

"Giles? Giiiiles? Buffy to Giles."

She touched his arm.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"Nothing. But you seemed…lost in your thoughts."

"Actually, I was."

"About James?" she asked tentatively.

"No. In fact, it was about you."

"Oh!" Buffy said, blushing.

"Olivia gave you a good résumé."

"Humm." It was in her turn to start 'dreaming'; with what Giles has just told her, she was pensive.

Noting her reaction, Giles chuckled.

"Giles!" she smirked, tapping on his arm, but Giles had another idea. Taking her hand in his, he drew her to him, and kissed her passionately. She moaned, feeling him, then. She liked this new comfort they had with each other, together, and it seemed so natural.

When they broke the kiss, and after having regained their minds and breath, Buffy managed to said, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"The kiss?" Giles teased.

"Giles," she said softly, caressing his cheek.

"Yes, I would like to talk to you about James. I would like to share 'our' past with you, if you want."

"I do. Only if you're ready to do that, though. I mean…I don't want to push you, you know."

"I want to, and I'm ready. I think it's the good moment," then, he added, "I love you."

"I love you too, so much."

"Buffy, my sweet love."

They kissed again. It was a pur moment of bless, for each other.

After a moment, and deep breath, Giles began his story.

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