Title: Choices Part 4
Author: Kerrie for part 4. Ness wrote the rest :o}
Contact: kerrielane@aol.com
Written: 09/22/03
Spoiler: Season 7
Pairing: B/G - eventually
Rating: PG
Summery: What would happen if Giles had to choose between eternal Paradise and Buffy? Angst (Ness' favorite part) with a happy ending.
Distribution: It goes wherever Ness says it goes. ;o}
Disclaimer: BtVS belongs to Joss & M.E
Dedication: This is for Wenchie's BD

Thanks go to Morr for her Beta, her time and her kindness. Oh and I made a few changes after getting this back from her, so any mistakes you find are ALL mine. LOL

And a very LARGE thank you goes to Ness. For without her support, encouragement, love and Cheer leading skills I wouldn't have written this let alone posted for that matter. ;o}
Thanks Mum, you're the best.

Giles watched as Anya's form melted away and another took her place. He closed his eyes on the tears that suddenly blurred his vision. "No, please, no," he groaned, as he felt warm, soft arms embrace him. A lone tear slide down his cheek as his face was gently caressed and he felt her lips touch his. He drew her fiercely against his body, as he was lost in the sweet feeling of homecoming and the rightness of holding her again. This was the other woman that held his heart…his Jenny.

All thoughts of leaving fled his mind as he held his first love. To spend eternity here, with her, seemed the only choice he could make. A weight lifted from his soul and he released a breath that felt as though it had been locked in his chest since her death.

The Cardiac Monitor alarm woke Buffy from her restless sleep and she flew out of the chair to his bedside. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it as she heard the thunder of footsteps coming towards the room.

"No, Giles don't you dare leave me. You hang on…do you hear me, Watcher don't you dare die on me! Buffy was unceremoniously shoved away from the man that had come to mean so much to her as the Crash Team started to work. She stumbled into the corner of the room and slid to the floor.

Giles let out a cry as Jenny pulled away from him. "Shhh," She soothed as she cupped his face in her hands, "it's okay, Rupert, I'm not going anywhere - I just wanted to see your face. I've missed those eyes and this mouth." She brushed her thumbs at the corners of his lips, "I won't tell you the thoughts I've had about this mouth." She leaned up and kissed him, running her tongue over his bottom lip. "Hmmm, I really wish we had time to continue this but, --" Jenny turned her head as if listening to something; "we don't have.."

Giles used Jenny's momentary distraction to move in and silenced her with a searing kiss. Then slowly releasing her mouth, he pulled back to frame her face with his hands. He leaned in to nuzzle her neck and whispered in her ear, "we have all the time we want, my love, I won't leave you ever again. I'm going to…."

She stopped him from finishing the sentence by laying a hand on his mouth. "No, Rupert, don't say it. At least not until you hear what I need to tell you." He ran his tongue over her palm and his eyes widened with pleasure as he felt a shudder run through her. She stepped away from him with a gentle shake of her head. "Lucky girl."

Giles reached out to pull her back into his arms, "What did you just say?"

Jenny took a few steps further away, laughing as she held up a hand to keep space in between them. "Oh, Rupert, you are much too tempting. And believe me when I say I am very tempted. But first, we need to talk about the choice you have to make."

"Damn it!" The Senior Resident barked, "Get that damn cart open. I'm not going to lose him now…not after all we've put him through to keep him alive…"

"But Jenny I've made my choice, I'm going to.."

"No, English, don't say it…you need to hear me out." Jenny looked at him with sad eyes. She knew what her presence would mean to him but she had to make sure he realized what he was about to give up if he chose to stay here. "I know that you loved me Rupert and I really did love you. Even as I was lying to you about what I was, -who I was. I did love you. I think that was the only genuine thing about me. But even if I had told you the truth about who I was, it still wouldn't have changed what happened. I was fated to die by Angelus' hand. It was never your fault that I died. I regret that you have carried that with you all these years.

Buffy drew her legs to her chest and resting her head on her knees, rocked back and forth as the Cardiac Team worked to save her Watcher. She heard the Resident's rapid-fire orders and the quick responses from the team but it held no meaning for her. All she knew was her fear that she was going to lose her Watcher…her best friend--the man she loved.

Jenny moved closer to him and placed a tender kiss on his cheek. "I just wanted to see you one more time." Her eyes filled with emotion as she added softly, "To tell you that I love you." She turned from him and wiped at the tears that slide down her cheek. She had spoken the truth to him; she really did just want to see him again. Now, she realized that in coming here she had tipped the scales the wrong way.

Giles moved so he could embrace her. "Love, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Jenny turned in his arms and looked into the eyes of the only man she had loved. "Because I'm selfish."

Giles shook his head then kissed the top of her head. "Tell me why you think you're being selfish." She surprised Giles when she moved away from him. "Jenny?"

"Rupert, you can't stay here, it isn't your time. I was sent to help you make the right choice but all I have done is muddy things up. I was afraid this would happen but I just wanted to see you again, to touch you one more time. And now, because of me, you're going to make the wrong choice and I can't allow that to happen. You're supposed to live a long and happy life…with Buffy."

"A long and happy life with my Slayer?" He snorted. "Surely you jest." His eyes hardened, "I have no life with my Slayer. I have became nothing more than a tool to her and when no longer needed I was shut out. She found another to guide and help her."

"Spike." Jenny watched as Rupert's eyes narrowed at the mention of the blonde vampire's name.

"Spike." Giles spat the name out.

"But he's gone now, Rupert and with him any influence he had on her. She will need you to help her rebuild her life and Dawn's as well."

A shocked look crossed Giles face at Jenny's mention of Dawn. Dawn had not been in their lives when she was alive. Jenny just looked amused at his shock.

"Did you think that the only channel we get here is the Game Show Network? I have watched as you dealt with my death, then Buffy's and I watched as you rejoiced over the news that she was alive. I watched as you told her you were leaving for her own good and how you came back to help deal with Willow. But, mostly I have watched as you have slowly moved on, away from your sorrow regarding my death and to the slow realization that you are in love with Buffy.

Giles could feel his face turning red, "Jenny. I.." His voice trailed off in embarrassment.

"It's all right, English." Jenny smiled at him and framed his face with her hands. "I understand. I really do." She brushed her thumbs along his chin. Giles covered her hands with his own and moved his face to kiss the palm of each hand. Jenny laughed and pulled her hands away from him. "Oh you are bad Rupert Giles." She stepped away as he reached out to her. "Rupert, I cherish all the moments we had together. I know that you love me but that isn't reason enough to throw away the life you should have now. You need to go back to her and tell her, Rupert, tell her that you love her." Jenny then stepped back to put even more distance between them.

Giles reached out to her and watched in disbelief, as Jenny slowly shook her head. "Jenny, have you given any thought to the fact that she doesn't feel the same way? Why would I give up the love that you and I have for the remote possibility that Buffy may one-day return my feelings?" Giles moved to her and when she didn't move to stop him this time embraced her. "No Jenny, the others kept saying that I have a choice to make and I've made it. I'm want to stay with you." And before Jenny could reply, Giles kissed her.

"He's in full cardiac arrest!"

Buffy turned her face to the wall and clawed at it as another voice cut through the chaos.

"Charge the panels to 300 ….Clear….."

Buffy silently screamed out for her mother as her body jerked in response to the charge delivered to her Watcher. 'Mommy please….please ..please. She jolted as the rate was increased to 400; her mouth opened in a silent scream, as the Doctor ordered the defibrillator set to 500 volts..

Jenny pulled away from him and cursed both his stubbornness and her lack of restraint. She looked into his eyes and gave him a sad smile, she offered up a prayer that he would understand what she had to do as she stepped away from him. "Good-bye, my love, you still have a chance to do the right thing, English. Please make the right choice."

"Jenny?" He reached out to her but his hand passed right through her, "No Jenny! Wait. Don't go."

"I love you, Rupert Giles. Never doubt that. Good-bye." Giles watched as a lone tear traveled down her cheek, then she was gone.

In her place, stood Joyce Summers.

"Where's Jenny?" Joyce raised an eyebrow at his tone. "Well, hello to you too Rupert."

"Where is Jenny?" Joyce silently sighed and decided that she needed to approach him differently. Maybe a little mother guilt would work on a 49-year-old Watcher.

"Jenny's gone, Rupert. You and I, need to talk now." Joyce said in her best 'mother' voice.

Giles eyes narrowed. "The only thing I want to talk about is Jenny."

"Well, you are going to be disappointed then because she isn't the reason I'm here." Joyce glared at him.

"Frankly, I don't give a damn why you are here. I want Jenny back now." With an air of dismissal, Giles turned to walk away.

"Well, I think that you can at least give me a moment of your time Rupert. I think you owe me that courtesy. Don't you?"

"Joyce there isn't anything I care to discuss with you." He turned back to face her, "The only thing I care about right now is Jenny and why she left like that."

"So you only care about Jenny?" Joyce saw her opening and grabbed it with both hands. "You don't care what happens to my daughter?"

"What does Buffy have to do with this?"

"She has everything to do with this. Have you given any thought to what has happened to her?"

"Happened to her? What has happened to her?"

"Tell me Rupert do you care about Buffy? Does she matter to you?"

"What I feel for Buffy doesn't really matter now does it? I'm sure she'll be happy to have me out of her life."

"Does this look like she's happy?" Giles wasn't the only one who was angry.

Giles surroundings changed and he found himself in a hospital room. Buffy was standing near the bed, holding his hand pleading with him not to die. He watched as the Crash Team rushed into the room and bodily removed his Slayer from his side. He watched as they started to work feverishly on him, he could hear the orders being shouted out. It was a very disquieting to watch. Giles was shocked as he watched Buffy's reaction to what was happening. He instinctively reached out to her as he watched her body tighten then jerk, at the sound of the defibrillator. When he realized that he could not touch her, he turned away from the scene in front of him. When he turned back, he was again standing in front of Joyce.

"That's when she started to scream for me. So tell me Rupert does it look like she happy?"

"Why are you showing me this?" Anger laced his voice. "Why are you doing this? I've made my decision."

"Because you're dying, Rupert and I want you to see just what you will be leaving behind. That is why I am here." Joyce stepped up to him; "You don't seem to think that you have a place in her life. I just wanted to show you how utterly wrong you are. Dawn, Willow and Xander have been sitting with her on and off since the accident but Buffy has not left your side. Do you think she would act this way if you were only a ..how did you describe yourself? A tool?"

Giles stepped back and walked away from Joyce. He didn't want to hear anything else, she might say to try to persuade him from his decision. He paced now; trying to clear his mind but all he could see was Buffy's tear streaked face and his resolve faltered. But what about Jenny? If he choose to return to Buffy, would he be guilty of betraying her once again? What was he to do? He stopped and looked at Joyce. "Joyce. I don't know what to do. I don't know the right answer."

Joyce's heart went out to him. "Rupert. I'm sorry for the pain you feel right now and I wish I could help you but anything else I would say to you would come from 'Buffy's mother' and I don't think that would be fair to you.

"What would Buffy's mum say to me?"

Joyce looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I don't want my daughter to die. Oh it won't be today or tomorrow, but it will happen. Without you at her side.. I don't think she'll care when it comes. But with you by her side, her chances improve. I love my daughter very much Rupert but I don't want to see her again for a very long time. Rupert, what do you feel for my daughter?"

"What I feel for Buffy is complicated."

"Do you love my daughter?" she pressed, not allowing him to evade her question. "Are you in love with Buffy?"

Joyce watched Giles close his eyes, turn away. But before he did, she saw the shock in his eyes.

Giles stood with his back to Joyce not quiet believing what he just heard. He wanted to ask her to repeat the question for he surely could not have heard it correctly, but he was finding it hard to catch his breath. Yes, he was in love with Buffy but to admit to Joyce, aloud, scared him to death. How would she take the fact that he, a forty-nine year old man was in love with her twenty-two year old daughter? He squared his shoulders and turned to face Buffy's mother, fully expecting to face her wrath. However, all he could see in her eyes was understanding and that did him in.

"God yes." The words tumbled out of him on a rush of air.

"Than I think you have a decision to make. Good-bye Rupert and I hope not to see you again for a very long time." Joyce gave him a smile and was gone.

"Good bye Joyce."

Giles slowly opened his eyes and gazed at women asleep next to him. She had lowered the side rail and pulled a chair up next to the bed. Her head was lying on the bed and her hand rested gently over his heart. Giles moved his hand slowly to cover hers and closed his eyes with a sigh, content with just this small contact with her. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but sleep was dragging him down and he wasn't sure how to tell her about Jenny. He softly stroked her hand and whispered "how do I tell you," as he fell asleep.

NEXT