Title: Yours
Series: The Enough Series
Author: Darcy Galvan
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Never shall I own them...well, except Grace and Pete
and Alena and such, but...
Spoilers: I doubt it
Feedback: Please please please please please.....I only
grovel and beg so often...offer good while it lasts....
Summary: Alena's caught 'em...ooooh...fun times ahead. I
believe this to be the last in the series.
Distribution: Wherever...just lemme know
Notes: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! = Get a
pair of pink fuzzy slippers. They are key in happy living,
believe you me. I've dubbed them
SquishyfuzzWritingSlippers. Slippers+your fave snack =
goooooooood writin'!
< I *am* overreacting. Calm down. >
Giles stirred and opened his eyes slowly. His breath caught in his throat and he went to move, but the body wrapped around him prevented movement.
"Rupert," Alena spoke calmly, waiting for him to explain. "Glenn had a bout of conscience and I got let off early. I brought over some sparkling cider. I thought we could have an, ah, romantic afternoon. Perhaps now is not the best time."
"Alena, I...I'm not quite sure what to say." He gently began sliding Buffy off of himself, hastily trying to stand. She grunted and sat up, rubbing her eyes. When she saw Alena, she froze. Buffy looked from Giles to Alena and back again. She stood, pushing her hair back.
"Excuse me...bathroom," Buffy said lamely. It was a bad excuse, but she knew she wouldn't help the situation here in any way. She headed up to the bathroom and splashed some water on her face. She stuck out her lower lip and blew, damp bangs fluttering off her forehead, a spray of water spattering the mirror. Buffy wiped it off and looked at herself in the reflective glass.
"Isn't it fun to screw up perfectly functioning relationships between two people perfect for each other?" she muttered to herself. "Not your fault, not your fault," she hummed, trying to convince herself. "You didn't strip naked or get him drunk and seduce him. It was his choice to give me a choice to give us a choice on whether or not....shut up. Talking too much."
Though she loved Giles so much she couldn't wrap her mind around it, and though she knew he loved her, she couldn't dislodge the thread of fear tickling her mind. And the pervasive guilt continued to grip her, making her throat hurt. What would Alena do? She was the reason Giles was going to dump the woman in the room below. She was a homewrecker. She was The Other Woman.
She moved out to the bedroom and sat on the bed, reaching for the hair tie she'd deposited there before she fell asleep. Her hand brushed against the lamp and it fell from the table.
"Shit!" Buffy dove for it and caught the lamp inches above the ground, her knees banging painfully on the floor. The noise woke Grace and she let out a wail. Buffy cursed again and rose stiffly to her feet, shuffling, half bent, one hand rubbing her knee, to pick Grace up. She swooped her up swiftly and gently swayed her back and forth, rubbing the little back, feeling a tiny spine beneath her fingers. "Shhhh, shhhhh, be quiet, Gracie. Come on, don't want to make anybody mad down there," she said quietly into the little ear. Grace continued to wail for a moment, but soon scaled it down to whimpering and drawing harsh, shuddery breaths. She grabbed a fistful of Buffy's hair, yanking it painfully. Buffy disconnected the little fingers with a wince.
"Geeze, punish your old lady just for wanting you to be an obedient child. Come on, Gracie calm down a little bit and I'll...I'll...I'll do something for you. Look, I know you saw our little floor show earlier, goodness knows your were staring enough. But Alena's back. Remember her? Tall lady? Called you beautiful? Well, now she's downstairs, and she caught me and Giles sleeping together. Well, not *sleeping* together but, well, I suppose that doesn't entail much sleeping, does it? But you don't need to know about that until you're at least thirty-five. Now he's talking to her and Lord only knows what's going on down there." Grace took hold of Buffy's lower lip and hooked her fingers behind Buffy's teeth.
"Do you fink you could led go of by lib?" Buffy asked. Grace merely looked at her and gave a brilliant smile. Buffy nibbled lightly on the fingers and Grace removed her hand. "So, Gracie, what do you think he's telling her down there? Do you think she'll break his arm?"
***
"So, Rupert, I --"
"Alena, I know that what you saw looked bad, but I --" he rested his forehead on his fingertips. Alena's eyes closed for a long moment.
< Oh God... >
"But I can't say--" he looked up at her "--that it was nothing." Alena pursed her lips and nodded, dropping down to the couch. She pulled her long braid over her shoulder and pulled out the rubber band, twisting the blue-black tresses in her fists. She played with the ends when he began speaking again and twisted it up into a bun.
"So, you and Buffy are..."
"Alena, I never meant for this to happen at all. I do love you--"
She held up her hand. "Please, don't. Continue, but, don't. Don't throw in the love card. You haven't got any right to at this point."
"Alena, two years ago, Buffy left. Her mother, her best friend and her boyfriend were killed within months of each other. She left, and those of us who stayed here were only left with our thoughts. Yesterday, she came back." His hands were moving up and down over his ears and the side of his face.
Alena waited. Waited for him to finish the phrase. She drew a sharp breath at the meaning behind that seemingly unfinished phrase.
"You're in love with her." Giles raised his eyes, returning her gaze steadily. She deserved honesty and anything but a simple confirmation would be patronizing and would be a cheap excuse, an attempt to shift the blame. The blame lay squarely on his shoulders and he had no desire to shirk it or the consequences. Alena licked her lips meditatively. "Have you known?" she asked, not quite looking at him.
"I suppose I always have. Maybe not...not the way I do now, but, yes, I have. Since I met her," he fumbled the words. Words that he'd so depended on to shiled and help him in the past seemed depressingly and infuriatingly inadequate at this point. "Since I met her, I have in different ways, but she has always been loved."
"Is she going to stay?" Alena asked calmly.
"Honestly, I can't say either way. I will assume nothing for her, she has Grace to think about, but, whether she does or not..." He didn't need to finish the sentence. Alena sighed and nodded, jaw tense, breathing hard, but steadily, controlled.
"Then, I guess that there's nothing left to say." Her voice tilted on the last syllable, giving a questioning tinge to the phrase. She stood, Giles following her to his feet. "Good bye, Rupert, I'll be seeing you." She leaned in and rested a hand on his cheek, quirking her lips in a mournful smile. "I wish..." she closed her lips and looked down, then brushed a swift, passionate, saddened kiss on his mouth. She let go and retrieved her jacket, disappearing through the door.
"Good bye, Len," he breathed.
***
Outside, with the door securely closed, Alena walked to the gate of the apartment complex. Striding purposefuly and surely to her car, she kept her gaze riveted on the horizon. When she reached her car, she stopped, letting the chill wind slice across her face, whipping hair into her eyes and mouth. Her carefully controled breathing swiftly began to increase, her control over her body deteriorating. The ragged breathing continued as a steadying stream of tears rolled down her cheeks, the wetness cooling in the wind, tingling her skin. A noise of pure emotions burst from her mouth and her hand curled to a fist and slashed down, slamming into the hood of the car. It had happened so fast and so instinctually, that it shocked Alena into a calm. She wiped her tears in disgust, crying out at the pain that caused in her fist. She unlocked the door stiffly, slid behind the wheel and pulled onto the road, not looking back once.
***
Buffy leaned her head listlessly against the banister. She held Grace under the arms and bounced her upright on the ground. Grace grinned and yawned as she bobbed up and down. < What did I do? > she asked her baby silently. This little face had become her greatest confidante in the months since she'd been born. It hurt terribly to know she'd caused this, but it felt even worse, unsettled her stomach a little, to realize that it didn't matter much. She loved him so much.
"Buffy?" came a soft, low voice. She looked up.
"So how'd it go with Alena?" she questioned tentatively.
"Surprisingly well, I suppose." Buffy scooted over and Giles slid down next to her, lifting his arm, letting her rest against him. "She's gone."
"I'm sorry, Giles."
"I know, but though I love her, I will always be yours." He absently traced a finger up and down the curve of her cheek, leaning his head on hers. Grace yawned and blinked blearily, giving him a tired smile. He tickled her palm with his finger, and she closed her hand around it. He chuckled. "I suppose I'm hers now as well, hmm?"
"Oh yeah. Grace owns you, I only rent time when she's sleeping. Which I think is about...now." Grace's head lolled to the side and Buffy took her to the make-shift crib. "Baby, I think we have to get you a better place to sleep," Buffy murmured.
Giles knelt next to Buffy as she laid her child down and covered up the softly breathing baby. He watched the little body with such tenderness and wonder still that it made Buffy ache.
"I still can't believe she's here," Giles murmured. "Every time I look at her, I think how amazingly impossible it is that she's there. She's so beautiful." Buffy leaned against his back, wrapping her arms around his waist, watching the child he spoke of. "This is all I ever wanted for you. She's all my dreams come into one. When you were in high school, it seemed sure you'd die before college. Then in college, your survival was more amazing every day. Maybe ten Slayers have lived past nineteen. I had to believe you'd survive. I wanted nothing more than to see you the first Slayer to retire, but it was so hard. Now you're here. Grace is here and she's..." he shook his head, not even able to put it into words. He gently touched the downy caramel colored hairs on Grace's head.
"She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and every day I wonder how it's possible that she's mine." Buffy sighed. "I've been happy a lot in my life, Giles, but there's been so much sad, too. Too much sad. Sometimes I thought it wouldn't ever end, that I wouldn't make it through. But something made me come back here, Giles. Something made me come back and now I feel so....whole. So loved and safe and I feel like Gracie can be safe and happy and won't ever have to know what I had to know." Buffy's words were rushed and frantic, trying to make them true, willing them to be true. "There'll always be vampires and evil in the world and she'll know that. I don't think it's possible that my child wouldn't know about all the icky supposedly-mythical things that creep around in the dark. But...Giles, we can keep her safe." Her arms were tightening almost painfully around his ribs. "We can keep her safe and warm and loved and she'll grow up normal and the Council won't ever get her. And she won't have to train and go off to her death. I guess I know that it's not all going to be the way I said. It's going to be hard and she probably will know what I know and feel the pain and fear, but, right now, everything's right and the world's a beautiful place to be."
Giles freed himself from her grip long enough to turn to face her. He took her face in his hands and kissed her. She responded eagerly, pulling away, kissing his cheeks and his chin, returning to his lips.
"Grace will be safe and happy, Buffy. I swear you'll both be." He held her to him, closing his eyes tightly, pressing his face to the top of her head, constantly amazed at how her touch and presence and love could make his heart skip so easily and take his breath. "I swear I'll love you and protect you always. I'm yours until we die."
When they released their hold on each other, Buffy yawned and put a hand over her mouth, shrugging in apology.
"We were napping before. I'm still tired." Giles stood, Buffy rising with him, and they headed to the bed. He lay down, pulling her after him. They lay, facing each other, foreheads pressed together, legs twined, hands clasped.
"Do I stay?" Buffy asked, her words cutting through his sleep muddled mind a few minutes later.
"Pardon?"
"Now that all this has happened, do I stay? Do we, Gracie and I, do we stay? Where do we go from here?" She grinned, only gathering enough energy to really smile with half her mouth. "I used to be soooo much better at putting off important things and just enjoying."
"You're getting old," Giles teased. Buffy kicked him lightly.
"Really, though, Giles, what happens to us now?"
"Buffy, I can't make any decisions for you, but you know what I want more than anything."
Buffy nodded slowly, saying, "You know what they say: 'Great minds....'" Giles swept a kiss high across her cheekbone, then caught her lips up with his.
***
When Buffy woke, Giles was gone. The empty space left her cold and she smiled.
"One day with someone next to you and you're already spoiled." She basked in the enjoyment of smiling for a while, then sobered for what she had to do next. Sitting up, she tidied herself up, then rested her hand on the phone on the nightstand. Counting to three, she gripped the reciever and picked it up, swiftly dialing the number before she could hesitate. Six rings came and went and she was losing her nerve. But the answering machine hadn't picked up so....
"Hello?"
"Peter?"
"Buffy, is that you?"
"Hey, Pete. How are you?"
"I'm doing good. I just got in, how are you? Grace being okay?"
"She's been pretty good taking into account she sleeps in a laundry basket."
"What?!"
Buffy laughed brightly, throwing her head back, relaxing. "I conveniently forgot that babies need places to sleep, and the closest Giles had to a crib was a big laundry basket with blankets in it. I'm sure Gracie's starting to feel like a cat."
"Giles was your...Watcher?"
"Yes." She halted, deciding how to bring up the subject she had called for.
Her silence tipped Peter off and he asked, "What's up, Buffy? You're not talking. That's not like you."
"Yeah, well, Pete, a lot of things have, ah, changed since I got here." She took a deep breath. Straightforward truth. Quick, like ripping off a Band-Aid. "When I told you about my past, I only told you the technical details I needed to make you understand. Um, Giles wasn't just my Watcher. He was my teacher and he was my friend he was...so much. And now...now he's more. I love him." There was silence on the other end of the line and Buffy's heart ached. "And, Pete, he loves me. He loves me so much and I don't even know why. And he loves Gracie, too," she smiled and it could be heard in her voice. "I think he's all proud to be Watcher to the first Slayer to bear a child."
"Are you staying?"
"Yeah, Pete, I think we are. This--this is where I feel like we belong." She swallowed and breathed, open-mouthed for a minute, calming herself down. "But...you're not here, Pete. You're not here and Gail's not here and I kinda miss the ocean. I need you, and I miss you and I don't know what I'm gonna do without you. And--and what's Gracie going to do? I mean, she needs you too. You're her father, but, being here is just...I would have died, Peter. I would have died if I'd stayed in San Francisco." She was crying now and she didn't know how to stop. Was she trying to drive herself crazy? These doubts were unsettling and she knew there was no reason for them. It didn't matter how she tried, but this was so new and unbelieveable. Her mind didn't want to deal with another drastic change and she was creating excuses.
"Buffy, Buffy? Stop crying, please. I can hear you, and sniffling and that wet breathing are really unattractive." Buffy emitted a choking laugh and tried to calm down and clean her face up. "Buffy," his voice was slow and comforting. He spoke carefully, treading nervously, plowing over the emotions and words that could hurt him so badly if he didn't handle them correctly. He felt like a member of some emotional bomb squad. "I know you'll miss me, God knows I wonder how I'll be able to stand this place without you, without Grace, to brighten it. But if you're happy there, please stay. Please don't look back."
He had to fight hard, had to claw his way up toward stability. Unfounded hatred for this man who had taken away the two things he held the most precious, burned in him fiercely. Buffy, and his daughter, this Giles, this stranger had them now and he wanted nothing more than to spit in his face, to have them back in his arms. He had no right to keep Buffy from what could make her so happy, even giving her doubts would be cruel beyond imagination. He wanted, more than anything, for Buffy to have everything she'd ever wanted, but it was the hardest struggle of his life to keep himself from shouting at Buffy, begging her to stay. Now, he was telling her to stay, to leave him and it nearly made him sick.
"Besides, you're not far away at all. I can drive up there, you can come down here, there's no way we'll lose contact. And, Buffy, you know that I could never let Grace out of my life. I will be there for her." He couldn't continue, so he waited.
"Peter, I hate you. I know that you don't feel that way. I know that you're lying to me." She balled her hand into a fist, knowing it was hurting him as much, if not more, than her to hold this conversation.
"Does it matter?" he muttered colorlessly. Buffy wished she could touch him, this man who loved her. < Two relationships down > "I have to go, Buffy. Give Grace a kiss for me."
"Goodbye, Peter, I love you. I'll--I'll see you later."
"Goodbye. I love you." There was a click on the other end, then silence. Buffy held the reciever to her face for a moment, eyes closed, before placing it silently on the table.
Buffy paused, brow furrowing, then turned swiftly. Giles was coming up the stairs. Buffy turned back and a moment later, felt Giles come to stand behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders.
"Was that Peter?"
"Yeah." She leaned back into his touch, letting her eyes close, letting herself just sit, just feel him, strong and secure behind her. She spoke softly, a hint of wonder in her voice. "I'm *home* Giles. *We're* home."
The End