Title: Without You 1/?
Author: DeeBeth
Timeline: up to Tabula Rasa then goes slightly AU.
Pairing: B/G
Summary: Giles is gone, whats a Slayer to do?
Rating: G
Feedback: there are worse things in life then flames, and not many better things than praise, but I'll settle for professional criticism. Distribution: Want, Take, Have! But please let me know where its going!
Disclaimer: all characters, except the few I will make up as the story progresses, belong to UPN, The WB, Mutant Enemy, and of course Joss Whedon, not to mention the countless others that I don't know or have never heard of. The only thing I know for sure is that the shows (BtVS & AtS) aren't mine and I have no control over what the characters do, no matter how hard I wish, pray, and dream!




<Giles is gone…gone…gone…>that thought wouldn't leave Buffy's head it plagued her every day. When she first got the job at the teen shelter she was asked if someone close to her had died. When she said no, and asked why the other employee, Rosa Vesquez, said she just had that look, the one that said `I cant believe he's gone'. At the word `gone' Buffy had ran to the bathroom and started crying. He was gone, gone but not dead. She could still talk to him on the phone, and did sometimes—told him about the job at the teen shelter, Dawn in summer school, Willow and her magic…but she never told him about her. How she felt since he had left. The aching that hadn't stopped and didn't appear to want to any time soon. But that was fine by Buffy, after everything she did she deserved a little pain. <LITTLE! Try HUGE!> her heart would tell her brain. <He's gone, because of you. Gone…gone…>.

"Buffy, Buffy?" Buffy's head jerked up and was met by the concerned face of Rosa. "Uh, hi, sorry I wasn't sleeping just thinking…"

"I know sweetie, just wanted to see if you needed to talk." Rosa said as she sat on the chair opposite Buffy's desk, scooting it up closer. She continued, "whatever you're going through, you need to talk about it. Maybe I can help you sort it out." She looked so concerned and like she genuinely wanted to help, so Buffy caved she decided to tell all—minus hellmouth related things of course.

Taking a deep breath and wiping the forgotten tears from her cheeks Buffy sat up straighter in her chair and brushed a stubborn hair behind her ear, that had slipped from the bun at the base of her neck. "Okay, I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell someone and I know you're good with screwed up lives so you may as well try to straighten mine up." Buffy tried for a confident smile that ended up looking quite unsure and scared.

"Its okay sweetie take your time" Rosa reassured.

"Um…last few years of my life…well it sucked, major suckage, the worst of the worst, sorry just trying to convey the badness that was my life for the past few years." Buffy gave a weak smile and reseaved an encouraging one in return. "two years ago my mom died and I became my sisters guardian. My relationship with my boyfriend was falling apart at the same time. I couldn't have made it threw any of that if it wasn't for…him…" Buffy faltered slightly and Rosa reached for a tissue and handed it to her, "thanks, sorry. He was the one constant in my life. If something went wrong I went to him, and he always had a plan or something to fix the problem. I-I miss him so much…" a sob escaped then and Rosa got up and walked around the desk to put an arm around Buffy.

"Why did he leave?" Rosa asked quietly.

"Because of me" Buffy stated simply, "I wasn't good enough, I wasn't trying hard enough to make things work, make my life work right, corectly. There were bills and Dawn was getting in trouble and there was… and it was too much I expected him to make it better, make it all just go away. And he, he tried he gave me a check and talked to Dawn and then. Then he told me he was leaving. Leaving me. Going home. Gone. He's gone…" and she was crying again. Harder now than she had let herself cry in months.

"It will be alright sweetie," Rosa crooned softly kneeling down in front of the broken young woman taking Buffy's hands from her face and holding them. "Listen you have had this job for over three months and we're not about to let you get away. And Dawn has been good since she started helping out here right?" At Buffy's nod she continued, "So it seems you have taken responsibility for your problems and fixed them by yourself, why not go and find that boyfriend of yours and bring him home!" Rosa said as if it was the most obvious solution to all the crying and pain.

"My boyfriend…?" Buffy asked confused, Rosa thought Giles was her boyfriend?

"Yeah go get him where ever he is, I'll cover for you here and…paid vacation! Perfect! Marty was looking for a way to show you his gratitude," at the slightly hopeful look on Buffy's face Rosa stood, "see a good talk straightened everything out. So where does this boyfriend of yours live and am I going to get a name?" Rosa asked walking around Buffy's desk and moving the other chair back to its original posistion.

"Giles," Buffy answered quietly from where she now stood in front of her desk, straightening up the pile of papers with info on the newest teens that came in today.

"Very good so this Giles guy where does he live?" Rosa asked curiously. At that Buffy's face fell and so did she, back into her chair the papers fell as well on the desk in a lovely disorganized pattern.

"England!" It came out as more of a gasp almost as if Buffy had just realized how far away England truly was.

"Oh, well I bet Marty would pay you in advance, yep I know he will," Rosa answered mater-of-factly.

"How do you kno…" Buffy asked stopping at the look on the other woman's face. She had long since heard of the affair between Rosa and their boss Marty. Smiling broadly in response to the silent message, Buffy straightened the papers on her desk and turned off her computer. She stopped at the door to give Rosa a hug, "thanks," she said simply.

"Glad to help, just bring that man by here sometime so I can give him a piece of my mind, okay?" Rosa said releasing the younger woman.

"Will do," Buffy answered brightly. She flicked off her light and the two women stepped out of the office. Buffy shut the door that held a plaque that read `Counselor Summers'. She then turned and almost skipped to the door. She new she was going to England, to Giles soon. <Like tomorrow> said her heart <try next week> said her brain. Shaking her head Buffy got into her car and drove home knowing that whether it was tomorrow or next week she was going to get her man back, her Giles.



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