Eaglewolf - Broken Dreams

Title: Broken Dreams
Author: Eaglewolf
Email: auzzie98@hotmail.com
Date: 29th Jan 02
Spoilers: S6 to be safe
Summary: Tragedy strikes
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Buffy/Giles
Distribution: You want it? You got it :)
Feedback: Send all hate mail to Savage:D
Disclaimer: Joss and his playmates in the sandbox own it. It's getting crowded in there. Coz ya know things would be very different if I did:) Avril Lavigne owns "I'm with you."
Authors Note: **ANGST** There will be no sequel - and Morr's protecting me on this:D Thus the alternate title of the fic is "Please. Lynch me." Basically if you don't like angst - don't read this. *glares at Sav*

“Please, Giles? You know how good I've been with the Jeep lately! I haven't had a single accident in a year! Please, please? Willow will be with me. You know she'll make sure nothing happens.”

“Please?” Willow added her plea to Buffy's. “We'll be good, and you know you'll get her back without a scratch on her. Besides, Buffy's on your insurance policy now, you know, married couple and all that.”

Buffy smiled evilly and leaned over to whisper in Giles' ear. His face went bright red, and he stuttered, “Well, alright then. But for goodness sake be careful. The car can be replaced, you two can't.”

The sun shone brightly the next morning asthey got ready to leave in Giles' shiny two door tramp, as they affectionately called the car. “L. A. here we come! I haven't been on ashopping trip in a long time.” Buffy smiled, and kissed Giles soundly on the lips. “I love you, Giles.” He wrapped his arms tightly around her and smiled back.

“I love you too. Be careful okay?”

“Always.”

“Let's go!” Willow called from the front passenger seat.

Giles was sitting in the Magic Box idly humming along to the song on the radio when he heard the announcement.“No names have been released as yet, the wreckage of the sports car was pulled from the river only moments ago.” Giles' heart skipped a beat,and he listened intently as the announcer went on, “Two females, in their mid twenties, from Sunnydale were said to have in the vehicle at the time. Eyewitness accounts say a large white van forced the car off the road and into the river.” Giles tried to sit down, and it took him a moment to realise that he still was sitting down. He ran out of the shop, hopped in the Jeep and headed down the highway to Gellad Bridge.

His phone rang as he was driving, and he answered it with his handsfree kit.

“Giles?” Dawn's voice was frantic, and full of tears.

“Dawn.” Giles gripped the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles turning white.

“The…oh God Giles. I can't.. I just can't do this again.” Dawnsvoice was muffled through her tears.

“Dawn. Take a deep breath and tell meslowly.” Auto pilot kicked in for Giles, knowing that Dawn needed him to be strong for her, and being strong was something he was used to doing. He heard Dawn take a few deep breaths, and try again.

“Giles, The police came around. Buffy and Willow were in an accident.” Dawn's tears started anew.

Giles calmly pulled the Jeep over to the side of the road and stopped the car. He rested his head on the steering wheel. “The river?”

“Yeah… Giles.” Dawn couldn't stop her voice from shaking with the tears, “They didn't make it.”

“Dawnie, is anyone with you?” Giles questioned, his head still against the steering wheel. This wasn't fair, it had only been three years since they'd lost her the first, no second, time. Two years since they'd married. Now all of that was gone, wiped out in a single moment.

“Yeah, Xander's here.” Dawn said sniffling, “I wanted to be the one to tell you.”

“Dawnie,” Giles kept his head resting on the steering wheel. “I need to go to where it happened. I promise I will be home later tonight, okay? I promise. But I need to do this. You understand?”

“Giles!” Dawn started to cry anew, “I don't want to lose you too.”

“You won't… but I need to go, I need to see for myself. I need you to be strong for me, this is going to be really hard on Xander – so you have to be strong for him too okay?”

“Giles…” Dawn started to sniffle.

“Yes, Dawnie?” Giles replied.

“You never call me Dawnie.” She whispered softly, “Giles. I love you.”

“I love you too, Dawn. I'll be back tonight. I promise.”

“I need you Giles.”

“I know.” He whispered, and ended the call.

He stood staring at where the railing of the bridge had broken, and mentally played Buffy's last moments over in his head. Trying to figure out what he could have done differently. If only he hadn't agreed to let her take the sports car – she wasn't used to handling something so different from the Jeep. If she'd had theJeep she might have had more of a chance. For a brief second he considered driving the Jeep off the edge and following her to where she'd gone, but he knew the others would need him. With Willow and Buffy gone the world was goingto be a much colder place. He wanted to seek oblivion.

“No Giles.”

Giles looked around, “Buffy?” The silence was deafening.

***

3 months later

Sarah was walking along the river listening to her MD player, as she had every night as long as she could remember. But that wasn't saying much – she couldn't remember much before waking up in a parking lot one day covered in bruises and scratches. She'd thought briefly about going to hospital, but when the injuries healed themselves by the time she'd managed to stand up, she decided that perhaps the hospital would ask too many questions, and that perhaps avoiding the authorities was the best idea. She'd dyed her hair red as a precautionary measure, hoping that if someone was looking for her they wouldn't recognise her.

Sarah pulled her jacket tighter around her as she walked, trying to ignore the rain pouring down. She was always drawn back to this place, and try as she might she couldn't remember why this bridge was so important. It took herhalf an hour to walk here each night, and half an hour to walk back to her home just outside of L.A. She only knew that it was. The flowers someone left there always made a shiver run down her spine, a memorial for someone they'd once loved deeply no doubt. They were always fresh, but Sarah never saw the person who left them.

I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waitin' in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound

Sarah had flashes sometimes of a tall man with sad green eyes, and somehow she knew he was important – that he held the key towho she was. She wondered how she could reach him and if he would be dangerous for her. Somehow, she knew that she was in no danger walking around at night, it was like a sixth sense that told her she'd be okay. Her heart ached for something she couldn't remember, or quite place.

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't someone please take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you

She wondered if the man was trying to find her, or ifhe was just something she'd made up in her imagination wanting to desperately to have a past. Sometimes Sarah wanted someone to just come up to her and say, “Hey! I know you.” So that she wouldn't have to wonder anymore. She wanted to know where she was from, if she had a family or if she was as alone in the world as she felt right now.

I'm looking for a place
searching for a face
is there anybody here i know
cause nothings going right
and everythings a mess
and no one likes to be alone

Sarah stood staring down at the water, as if it held all the answers she was seeking. She sighed knowing that all the answers were locked in her head somewhere. If she could just crack it open enough to scoop them up. She caught herself just as she was about to ram her head down on the railing. ‘Woah, Sarah… If that even is your name… Get a grip.' She took a deep breath, and watched her knuckles turn white as she gripped the railing. Somehow she knew that even if she never got her memories back, she'd be okay. She had a job now, and if it wasn't for this nagging feeling at the back of her head she'd be quite happy with where she was. Sarah sighed and turned to begin the long walk home.

Giles pulled the Jeep over to the side of the road, he couldn't explain why he was still drawn back here, he just knew that he was. No one else knew that he took the long drive each and every night somehow hoping for a miracle and hoping that maybe oneday he'd find Buffy standing here waiting for him. He got out and walked over to the place where the car had broken through. The only thing to show Buffy and Willow had died here were the flowers he left fresh every night. He took the flowers he'd left last night and threw them over the railing, the tears streaming down his face. His attention was caught by a young woman rounding a corner on the other side of the bridge and his heart skipped a beat because her body looked just like Buffy's. But she passed undera street light and he saw she had red hair. He ran his hand over his face, he was still seeing her everywhere. He missed her more and more each day, itwas getting harder instead of easier.

oh why is everything so confusing
maybe I'm just out of my mind
yea yea yea

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you

Giles watched yesterday's flowers float along the river and hoped that Buffy was watching over him somehow. He missed Willow too, but Buffy had owned his heart and soul. He knew that as long as he lived he'd never stop grieving for her. But he knew that he had to goon, for Dawn's sake as well as his own.

As the years passed Giles stopped going to change the flowers every day, and eventually only made the journey once a year on the anniversary of their deaths, leaning on his canemore and more each time. The ache from losing Buffy had never left him, but it had lessened over time. He was a night late one time and was surprised to see a fresh bunch there, and silently thanked whoever had left them there for him.

Sarah smiled as she watched him from her hiding spot. She didn't have to dye her hair any more, the grey had taken care of that. He'd obviously loved who ever he'd lost very deeply, and her heart ached for him. She wanted to go to him, perhaps comfort him, but at the same time didn't want to intrude on his grief. In the end she turned and walked back to her home above the diner she now owned. Something was still missing, and she still hoped that one day, she would find someone who lovedher just as much as this man had loved who ever he was grieving for.

END