Title: From the private Journal of Quentin Travers
Author: Elixie
Rating: G
Spoilers: Takes place after Season Seven
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just give them something else to do.

Note: This is something that popped into my head after reading Ness's thoughts on Travers. I happen to agree that he might not have been as evil as he seemed and that perhaps he was just a man who was forced by fate to play the heavy. I left out the dates so that it can fit into the Buffyverse whenever it is you may have seen the episodes. And if I got any facts wrong forgive me.

Private Journal of Quentin Travers

Have sent Rupert Giles to replace Merrick. Slayer and her mother will be moving to a town called Sunnydale shortly, so have set him up as the librarian at her school. This position provides not only an excuse for his presence, but a place to store resources as well. I am hesitant to send someone with his lack of experience into an active Hellmouth, but his past history may be an advantage with this Slayer. Due to the fact that this one has not been properly trained, I predict an early death. Perhaps Young Giles can help her prove me wrong. I am reluctant to get my hopes up that they will succeed where others have failed, but the fact that she has already exceeded expectations gives me hope.

I dislike being so strict with Rupert and Buffy. But I can not allow myself to give in to my personal feelings. I can not endure the pain of losing a Slayer again. Rupert doesn't understand why I wish him to remain distant in his feelings. But I do not wish him to suffer the heartache that I endured when I lost my dear AnneMarie. Buffy reminds me of my own Slayer in so many ways and I find that I must be overly strict with them both to remain true to my position.

As Buffy nears her 18th birthday, I find I'm reluctant to do my duty. Should she not survive the test, I fear for Rupert. He has become attached to her in a way that may cause us to lose them both. I had hoped the prescience of Wendy-Price would have been enough to keep them apart, but it only appears to have drawn them closer. Much as I admire their loyalty to each other, I fear that I shall have to step in.

I find these words hard to write as I must report that Buffy is gone. True to her nature, she sacrificed herself for those she loved. It is rather difficult for me to remain behind the mask of indifference, when inside I feel my heart break. Policy states that she was just a weapon, but in the years that I have come to know her, I find myself mourning her loss as if she were my own child. The council has not been informed of this as the details were given to me in secret. My source also relates that Rupert remains true to his post and has been doing his best to hide this knowledge from the world. I fear we must do something with the other Slayer, as the situation is only going to get worse as word gets out that the Hellmouth is unprotected. She cannot remain in prison, nor is she viable. I shall brig it up at the next meeting, but knowing how these things go; I do not expect any results for some time.

Word has reached me that Buffy is alive. It would seem that her well meaning friends brought her back even as Rupert had finally accepted her death and returned home. I find myself reaching for the phone several times wanting to tell him, but I have to force myself to remember that not only am I the last person he would want to speak to, but even if he did speak to me, he wouldn't believe what I had to say.

Word has reached us that the First is attempting to emerge from the Hellmouth. An emergency meeting has been called so that we way begin to take steps to aid Buffy and her friends in the fight. I can only hope that we are not too late.

Giles looked at the scorched fragments of the journal in his hand. He had been surprised that Travers had felt this way. Giles sighed as he thought of what could have been had Travers not been in the position that fate had placed him. Putting the pieces in his pocket, he returned to the task of trying to salvage what he could from the few books that had been found in the rubble of the Council Building.

END