Title: How to Entertain a Gentleman
Author: Elle
Feedback: Please! elle562000@yahoo.com
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to Joss and various other
people. I also blatantly plagiarized Jane Austen.
Spoilers: Before Tabula Rasa
Summary: A quasi-sequel to Gentleman of Choice, just for fun.

Or at least that was Dawn's rationale as to why Heath Ledger would one day swoop into Sunnydale and sweep her off her feet.

The other female members of her household, however, were less enthusiastic about the opposite sex. The four ladies had gathered to engage in a pleasant evening of "female activities," namely playing whist, embroidering, and discussing a variety of sexual topics.

As none of them embroidered, and no one knew what whist was, Buffy, Tara, Willow, and Anya settled on their third option.

Dawn had been banned to the living room so as not to soil her virgin ears.

Tara poured coffee as the other women relaxed around the dining room table, enjoying a sumptuous cake prepared by her earlier.

"You're turning into a little Hannah Homemaker," Buffy said, coyly teasing the other woman.

Tara blushed delicately.

Once the obligatory compliments on the meal were past, the ladies were able to discuss the tawdrier subject that rested in the back of their minds.

The first question was directed at Anya, as she was known for thoroughly, and frequently, satisfying of her lover. The other ladies inquired into her tactics in pleasing her significant other, carefully avoiding an answer that would include a description of Xander naked. They had just eaten, after all.

Though Anya was the eldest of the ladies (by nearly one thousand years, though to mention her exact age would be impolite), she was not in the least bit hesitant to divulge her technique.

"Variety," Anya replied.

"Variety?" Buffy inquired.

Anya found it necessary to specify. "You know, different positions, places, role playing…"

Now she had truly piqued the interest of her companions.

"Who do pretend to be?" Tara asked, her delicate sensibilities obviously shocked at the omission.

Anya confessed that she found the darker variety of lover to be most intriguing. "Sometimes he's Batman."

Willow made a very unladylike sound somewhere between a choke and giggle.

"Or Jean Luc Picard."

Buffy gasped. "From Star Trek?"

Anya smiled slyly. "He's very sexy when he says `Make it so, Number One.'"

The conversation quickly moved away from Anya's nocturnal habits.

"Do you two ever use magic…to…" Buffy wiggled her eyebrows at Tara and her lover.

Willow's youthful flesh grew to be a color similar to that of her hair.

"Well, that answered the question," Buffy said, laughing at her friend's embarrassment.

"Do you ever pretend to be Batman?" Anya inquired. "Or maybe Wonder Woman?"

Tara answered by asking if anyone else required a refill of her coffee.

It now appeared to be Buffy's turn for confession.

"Your turn Buffster," Willow said, "Who was your best, and why?"

Buffy's mind was immediately flooded with images of her current lover. He was her paramour, a secret she had thus far kept form the others. Aside form the obvious aesthetic qualities he possessed; he was a man of good temperament, exquisite taste, a strong sense of honor, a sharp mind, and the most utterly wicked mouth in creation.

Buffy sipped her coffee, and cat-like smile crossing her lips. "He was older than me," she said, knowing she was misleading her friends with thoughts of her former beau, Angel. "He had callused hands, and he knew how to use them. He would whisper naughty little promises to me in the dark, and he kept every single one of them."

The other ladies were thoroughly entranced in her story.

"He approached me, and I could see his intent in his eyes. They were dark, and almost evil. I realized that I had been waiting, hoping for this to happen for ages. When he touched me, that first little touch on my shoulder, my skin flushed and my stomach started quivering. All he had to do was brush his lips against me and I was ready. He was slow, he liked taking his time. He wanted to explore every inch of my body, to know me inside and out. I would touch him, but he wasn't interested in himself. He was making up for lost time, living out secret fantasies. I think he had waited for so long for us to come together, he didn't want to waste it. And when we came together…It was like joining with your other half. I felt complete."

She sipped her coffee again. "Oh, and he liked it rough."

Anya fanned herself with her hand. "Wow, rough Angel sex."

Willow lowered her voice to a whisper. "But you've never done anything special? No unusual positions? Toys?"

Buffy shook her head. "We didn't need to."

Tara turned her attention to helping Anya clear dished, and Willow sat musing over her best friend's omission. "He was that good, hmm?"

"Mmm hmm."

"I suppose you really are soul mates then."

Buffy agreed whole-heartedly.

Before Anya could return to demand more salacious details from her, Dawn appeared from the living room, the proud bearer of good news.

"Guys, the part where Heath's all sweaty and shirtless is on!"

The ladies considered joining her, but after Buffy's story, Willow and Tara found themselves exhausted, and chose to retire to their room. Anya posed her excuse with less discretion.

"I've gotta stop at the costume shop and buy another Batman mask."

As for Buffy, she had a paramour to meet. Rupert Giles was waiting for her in his darkened apartment, and Buffy knew that in order to entertain a gentleman, one mustn't keep him waiting.

END