Title: Nudge 1/3
Author: Elle
Feedback: Please! elle562000@yahoo.com
Rating: PG 13
Disclaimer: Buffy and the other characters do not belong to me. I'm
just taking them out to play, Joss. We'll be home for dinner.
Spoilers: Season 6ish (while Giles crashes at Buffy's house)
Summary: Anya writes a smutty romance novel. Guess who the main two
characters are based on?
Note: Please forgive errors as this was written exceptionally late.
Anya flounced into the Magic Box, lugging a large cardboard box with her. Giles looked up over the rim of his glasses and marveled at how the girl managed to carry anything—let alone simply walk straight—in her high heels.
"They're here!" Anya cried happily.
Buffy appeared in the doorway to the training room, slinging a damp towel over her shoulder. "What's here?"
"My book," Anya explained, shifting the box to the counter. She pulled the flaps open and removed several, small paperbacks.
"You wrote a book?" Giles asked, intrigued. "Although, I suppose after being alive for a thousand years you must have some incredible insight into history and society in general."
"It's a romance novel," Anya said. "It has lots of sex."
Giles picked one of the books up. A Fabio-esque man graced the cover, clasping a rather buxom young woman to his oiled chest. The woman, a petite blond, was either dangerously aroused or having an asthma attack.
"Um…it is historical, though," he offered lamely.
Buffy was struggling to keep a straight face as well. "It says it was written by Anna Ambrosia."
"That's my pen name. Xander wouldn't let me use Anya Harris.
He said the men at work would kill him," Anya explained. "He was very helpful in writing it. He even demonstrated some of the sexual pos—" "When did you find time to write this?" Giles asked, hastily interrupting her.
She shrugged. "On the weekends and after work. It really wasn't difficult. My editor told me I had natural talent."
"Yes, well…" He cleared his throat and glanced down at the title. "Succulent Rapture? It sounds, um, fascinating."
Anya beamed. "Good, because you all have to read it. That's why I had so many advanced copies sent to me. I wanted to share it with all my friends." She hugged Giles tightly enough to make him wheeze. "I love you all so much!"
Buffy squirmed. "Well, I'm pretty busy right now, with the slaying and…"
Anya rolled her eyes. "The slaying and the sleeping till eleven thirty. Please, we all know your life has become boring."
Buffy gritted her teeth.
Anya smiled again. "Besides. There might be a pop quiz."
Dawn watched Giles as he reclined on the couch, reading Anya's book.
"Can I read it when you're done?"
Giles glared at her. "Absolutely not."
"Not even when I'm eighteen?"
"Not even when you're forty-two. It's corrupting me, I believe." He shook his head in disbelief. "Why on earth would they even print something so… The historical inaccuracies alone… She was *there* for God's sake."
"I heard her say she wanted to have the cover blown-up and framed in their living room," Dawn said, sitting down next to Giles.
He slipped his arm around her affectionately. "I have never pitied Xander more."
"So the book is really that bad?"
Giles snorted. "It's hideous. `The searing passion between Garret and the nubile Bettina?' I've read cereal boxes with more depth." He sighed. "But I also don't want to hurt her feelings." Dawn patted his hand. "Maybe if you're lucky there won't be a sequel."