Title: Nudge 2/3
Author: Elle
Feedback: Please! elle562000@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Buffy and the other characters do not belong to me. I'm just taking them out to play, Joss. We'll be home for dinner.

The steam from Buffy's bath warped the pages of her book. She sighed and flipped around, not particularly reading any of it, until a particular word caught her eye.

*Slayer.*

Leaning further back into the soapy water, Buffy stopped and read.

…He was a slayer of dragons and demons, a knight so brave that the unjust trembled just to hear it. It was as if the god of war had blessed him, so that he would triumph over any enemy. Even in the midst of battle he was immaculate, his face only made more handsome by scratches and bruises. He appeared to her to be the god Mars placed on earth to show mortals what true battle was.

And she? She was nothing compared to him. She was a slip of a girl who admired him from a distance and secretly tallied up his victories, adding them to his valiant image she had locked in her mind.

It was true that he knew her, for she had often advised him. She was able to read the arcane languages of ancient books; she could translate the encrypted secrets of magic. How else could he know how to slay a red dragon from a green? How could he know where harpies nested and griffons slept?

She could credit herself for that much, for helping in her own humble way. Yet, she knew that he never really noticed her behind her books, the diminutive girl who could whisper in demon tongues. Did a god ever notice a scholar?

She had to content herself with watching him from afar. She could observe his struggles and victories, but she could never confess her love. That was the one language she had yet to master.

Buffy turned the page, suddenly interested in the plot. She could see Garret, the noble knight in her mind's eye. He would be tall, dark-haired with blue—no green eyes, they were more mysterious. And he would have a tiny scar over his eyebrow, a testament to battle.

She knew what Bettina saw in him, and she felt bad for the girl. Bettina was probably petite, with pale skin and hair. She wouldn't be quite beautiful, but not plain either. And she would have a gorgeous smile.

Buffy flipped ahead in the book, wanting to get to heart of the romance.

… Garret's voice was impossibly gentle, yet still carried that trace of roughness that be told of station. "How did you know that I was poisoned, when even I didn't?"

"I've watched you. I've spent more time watching you than any other person," Bettina replied very quietly. She gestured to the mirror that allowed her to see him in battle. "If I must prepare spells for you then I must know what you will need. So I watch."

Garret did not reply, as if it had never occurred to him that his accomplice might notice him. She had saved his life so many times, and yet he had never thought much of her at all…

Suddenly, Bettina grew bold. "I know more about you than anyone." Her soft mouth straightened into a serious line, and she stood taller. "I could tell you things you probably don't know about yourself."

"Then what am I thinking now?" Garret asked, his eyes dark and serious.

For a moment, Bettina thought that he might want to strike her, but as he moved closer she didn't shrink away. Still, she hadn't expected him to kiss her, especially not with such passion that—

"I really have to pee!"

Buffy jumped and dropped the book into the bathtub. Dawn banged on the door. "Like, now, Buffy!"

Bettina and Garrett sank to the bottom of the tub before Buffy retrieved them. The book was soaked.

"Please? I think I'm gonna wet my pants?" Dawn moaned.

Cursing, Buffy pulled herself out of tub, and glanced at the clock. She had been soaking for an hour and a half. She flung the book in the trashcan, and wrapping a robe around herself, let Dawn use the bathroom.

… Then Griselda, the redheaded nymph said, "I'd like a bit of spanking too."

It was late, but Giles wanted to finish the book as quickly as humanly possible. He groaned as he came to another lesbian-nymph-orgy scene. At which point exactly did a book cease to a romance and slide into porn? He hadn't read any others, but Giles was fairly certain that most romances didn't contain anal sex.

Sighing he left the cavorting nymphs for the night, took off his glasses, and flipped off the light. He tried to adjust to the couch, but, as he was human after all, the nymph orgy had left him with a bit of a…to use Anya's language, prominent and throbbing manhood.

It was late, but Buffy couldn't sleep. Her book had swollen up four times its normal size, and she knew that Anya would kill her when she found out. Worse yet, she actually wanted to know what happened to Bettina and Garrett, or more importantly, what happened to their kiss. The rest of Anya's books were at the Magic Box, but Giles would probably still have his downstairs. There would be no way for him to know that she borrowed it…

Buffy crept downstairs, feeling guilty. Using slayer stealth to swipe a romance novel seemed a bit cheap.

As far as she could tell, Giles was out like a log, breathing slowly and evenly. Succulent Rapture laid on the end table next to him, his glasses resting on the cover. Buffy moved his glasses carefully, and picked up the book. She turned to creep back upstairs when a dry voice interrupted her.

"You aren't actually reading that, are you?"

Buffy swallowed. "Mine fell in the bathtub and Anya will be hurt if I don't finish it."

Giles opened one eye. "You're English teachers used to be hurt when you skipped Pride and Prejudice or Great Expectations."

"There were Cliff's Notes for that…"

"And less sex."

"I am not reading this for the sex," Buffy replied indignantly, and trotted back upstairs.

"Just wait until the nymphs," Giles called after her.

NEXT