Title: If We're Together 2/3
Author: Gail Christison
Rating: R for low-level violence, character death
Summary: Trish's challenge with some elements incorporated which may be future spoilery but since I'm not telling you which ones, you won't be spoiled, right? ;-) Basically I moved the challenge slightly into the future, past ep 20... It's a mixture of pure fiction and spoilers but unless you are already spoiled you won't know which is and which ain't. So you should still be able to read the story, right? :-)

Disclaimer: Joss and Marti are the vandals...I mean owners...of this show. I only mourn in writing...
Distribution: Probably OMWF http://www.wickedsky.com/oncemore and all you guys who have permission. Anyone else just ask away :-) Songs copyright their respective composers/writers/owners
Feedback: Always love to know what you think. *Except* I don't want to know if you don't like the character death. Characters are frequently killed off in fics, even Buffy herself and often Giles. If you've read the challenge and don't want to see this character killed off why are you reading the fic? 'And that's all I'm going to say about that... ' :-)
Author Notes: See above. I wrote this fic according to what Trish asked for because I needed to, and because I think a point had to be made here. If she'd asked for Riley or Dawn to be knocked off no one would have said a word. There might even have been cheers <wink> I doubt anything would have been said even if it had been Giles,Willow or Xander because fans of those characters know main characters get killed in fics all the time for dramatic and creative reasons. And so it is in my vignette for Trish.

Dedication: To Trish, for being so gracious while under fire; for Ruth who beta-ed, and for Gileswench, Karen, Ewie, GG, Dword, Sandra and everyone else who understands.

"Maybe...maybe it's because he's a better man...because I've always needed... him...because he...he's..." She paled and then the colour ran back into her cheeks. "...because he's *mine*," she finished in a shocked voice.

"Yeah, your bloody minder. So what?" Spike countered defensively.

"Mine..." she repeated, as though not even hearing the vampire. "I have to go," she added absently and started towards the gates.

Spike stared at her retreating back, his expression part pain, part confusion, but most all, outright rage.

Buffy was halfway across town when she saw Xander's car slide by, Willow alongside him, and frowned, hoping someone was watching Dawn and making sure the potentials didn't do anything stupid. She watched the car out of sight, and realized it was heading for town.

She had to talk to someone about what had happened. Maybe try to explain...maybe not. But she'd always been able to talk to Will and Xand, and she had to try. If they were going to town, they were probably going to the Bronze...

A half hour later Buffy emerged from the nightclub, frustrated but alone, and unaware of the figure watching her from across the street, in the shadows of another building.

*******

Willow and Xander slid into their regular booth as soon as the couple occupying it when they arrived, finally vacated it.

"Who knew it was going to be so busy?"

Xander shrugged. "Dominic's probably got some entertainment happening tonight. I didn't see any fliers, but he usually gets someone good."

Willow smiled mischievously. "Yeah," she agreed, remembering Xander's reaction to Giles singing there.

After a beat, Xander realized what her amused tone meant and made a face. "Yeah, okay, the singing: classy. But in no way, no how has Giles ever been sexy." He shuddered just at having to say the word. "It was like he had a spell on all you women. Anya, I can understand, maybe...but you and Tara? Gay, remember?"

Willow snorted, pushing down a surge of pain at the sudden memories of the gentle blonde. "Just because we're gay doesn't mean we don't have taste. You know you were just jealous because Giles was getting more attention than you. He may not be in his twenties anymore, but he's always been gorgeous. Trust me on this. I had the most incredible crush on him in high school, and it was obvious Miss Calendar was really..." Willow stopped, her expression pained.

They both fell silent.

Finally, Xander gave up and shrugged. "Fine. I'm down with the Giles goodness. Scott Bakula, make way for Rupert Giles..."

At that moment the perpetual crowd murmur dropped to a hush as the man in question appeared with impeccable timing, guitar in hand, to take his place on a stool now standing alone in a pool of spotlight.

The small squeak from Willow was enough to tell Xander he wasn't the only one in shock.

After he sat down, Giles plucked at a few strings as though checking the instrument's tone. Xander decided it was probably more like getting up the nerve to look up at the crowd. He contemplated the so-called 'sexiness'. True, the Watcher wasn't wearing tweed, the grand-dad specs, or shabby sweaters tonight, and true, he looked about ten years younger in the dark jeans and black, open necked shirt. Xander's brows drew together and downward. He was wearing something around his neck...a necklace of some kind...maybe a small, darkish, or gold, cross. He couldn't tell for certain in the artificial light.

Then Giles finally looked up and smiled self-consciously at the crowd. At that point Xander stopped wondering what the fuss was about, and why anyone would ever consider Rupert Giles to be 'sexy.' He would never be gay, but in that moment he understood completely what it was that Willow, Anya and Tara were transfixed by.

Giles cleared his throat. "Um...Dominic has asked me to play a few tunes for you all. H-he thought perhaps a few of the old ones..." This brought an appreciative murmur from certain sections of the crowd. "And I thought perhaps I'd add one or two I never got around to adding before..."

He didn't bother to add: 'because I've been so busy with resurrected Slayers, relocating my entire existence not once, but twice, and the impending end of the world as we know it...again...to have either the time or the inclination to practise or learn any new ones.'

Xander watched him smile again like a bashful kid when a woman whistled somewhere in the crowd, before bending his head and beginning to play. He smiled to himself when Willow sighed loudly alongside of him as Giles' voice filled the small caf?. The tune was 'Freebird', but a much different arrangement to the Lynrd Skynrd version, which he barely remembered. It also became very apparent, very quickly, to Xander that the lyrics were more than a little relevant.

Also, for once, Xander's ability to observe saw far more than he wanted to see. There was real pain in the older man's face, in his eyes as he worked his way through the song, attempting to maintain as much eye contact with his audience as possible, but ultimately having to dive his head quite frequently. Xander knew it wasn't because Giles needed to find the chords. He dropped his own gaze, only raising it again when the last chorus faded and the applause started.

Giles raised a hand to quiet them again before starting on a Pink Floyd number and following it up with one of one of Clapton's unplugged tunes, giving Willow a major happy.

"Makes my toes tingle," she sighed.

Xander smiled to himself, glad that Giles was taking her mind off the badness for a while then realized that he hadn't thought about any of it, himself, since the Watcher had appeared on stage.

*******

Buffy stood at the entrance to the Bronze for several long moments deciding what to do next. Looking for Xander's car, she decided, would be the easiest way to find them. And if it were nowhere to be found, well, she'd just have to go find herself another tree...

It didn't take long, by process of elimination, to get to the Espresso Pump. Xander's car was parked less than half a block away. Normally it wasn't that hard to find a parking space near the cafe, so it had to be busy.

She made her way up to the entrance, partially blocked by customers with no seats, and slid between several women to get into the building. The lights were down, drawing her eyes immediately to the spotlight up front. Her heart flew into her mouth and began to race.

*What the...*? Well, it explained why Willow and Xander were out on the town at a time when they should be focusing on whatever plan Faith thought she'd cooked up to save the world, but....

Buffy drew a shaky breath and focused on the man down the front sipping water from a large glass proffered by someone who hovered for a moment then melted away. The question...she swallowed and refocused...the question was: what in God's name was her Watcher doing singing at the Espresso Pump, when only yesterday, their lives were falling apart...?

Giles played a few notes and a hush came over the audience again as his voice rose.

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

Buffy swallowed as the Watcher's voice rose. His expression grew exquisitely pained as he threw his very soul into chorus of his song. She hadn't heard it before, but she wouldn't soon forget it.

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you ...

Giles faltered. His gaze had shifted and he'd seen her. He was looking straight at her, incredulous, pale now, his mouth strained, his eyes tired. He took a breath and managed to continue, even more intensely than before.

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man

Buffy shivered when he was done. His eyes were blazing into hers, fixed on her as if she were the only point in the room. She couldn't move, couldn't speak. She simply stared, not even aware of some of the patrons turning to look at her.

*******

"Oh, God."

"What?!" Xander demanded, sure the end of the world was nigh, given Willow's dire tone.

The redhead stopped craning her neck to see around the tables in the middle of the floor.

"Buffy."

"Buffy?"

"She's here. And Giles sang that song like he wanted to throw sharp pointy things *at* someone. I've never seen him like that...wait, yes I have. When Ethan Rayne's around."

"That bad?"

"That bad."

"And Buffy's *here*?"

"Well, she was. I can't see now."

"Should we, you know...?"

Willow shook her head. "Not right now. She'd probably leave. I would. I'd be mad as hell that my best friends didn't stand by me when I needed them."

"Hey," Xander objected, then realized he didn't have a leg to stand on. "Why *didn't* we stand by her...I mean, apart from the fact that she's being stupid and anal about yet another walking corpse and doesn't listen to a damn thing any of us says? I mean, seven years is a long time to be together to..." He paused. "And I *still* can't work out how Faith suddenly became a good guy again...you?"

Willow shook her head. "She just was. I mean, in Los Angeles...she was there, all good and friends with everyone and everything. It was spooky, but kinda cool...and now I'm sorta freaked out because I have no idea why it was cool or why I said those things to Buffy..."

Xander's expression grew dark as Giles' voice rose again, telling the audience that he was going to sing a number he'd never tried in public before, and to forgive him in advance. He was trying to be light, and he was smiling at the audience, but the two friends could see and hear what it was costing him to go on with the performance.

"I don't know why I did what I did either," he growled. "Or why Giles did what he did. I'm beginning to wonder if a certain evil creepazoid has put some kind of spell on the house. I mean everyone, but everyone, just went along. Even Faith didn't question anything. And Giles... You know, ever since Wood came to Sunnydale, weird things have been happening and regular people have been behaving way too weird for believable explanations." He stopped again, confused. "So why is it I'm only getting that now that I've been away from that house or anything First-related for longer than I have been in weeks...?"

*******

Buffy still hadn't moved. She'd watched Giles talk to the audience, listened to the calls for various numbers, but her feet wouldn't move. A part of her wanted to run, to flee the anger, the pain in those green eyes, but for some reason she was frozen.

When he finally looked up again, it was straight at her. She felt impaled by his eyes. After long moments locked in a lacerating stare, Giles finally played the first chords of his next song without shifting his gaze. With his eyes glittering and his expression hard, he began.

A montage of her pathetic love life to date, punctuated by every violent encounter with Spike, poured through Buffy's mind as he sang on relentlessly.

And I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go
Every moment marked
With apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
Trying to escape this desire

At the same moment she let out a surprised gasp, he almost faltered on the last word, then redoubled both his glare and his vehemence.

The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do

She bit back a sob. *God, it hurt...*

The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
But I have the sense to recognize

That I don't know how
to let you go
I don't know how
to let you go

*No...!* Suddenly, Buffy's heart was gripped by a panic so intense it hurt. Compared to his announcement last year that he was leaving, this was a thousand times worse. She wanted to cry, to die, to scream...

She stood and listened. And watched.

A glowing emberBurning hotBurning slowDeep within I'm shaken by the violenceOf existing for only you...Giles' voice faltered again on the last sentence and Buffy saw the hurt behind his anger...behind the flashing green eyes still raging at her. She didn't know how she was going to bear the rest of the song. She knew the tune. His arrangement was slower, more intense, but she knew the Sarah McLaughlin song only too well.

I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do

Tears streamed down Buffy's face. It was all wrong. So wrong. How could she have let it happen? How could she have made something so good, so very, very bad?

And I have the sense to recognize but
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go

I don't know how to let you go...

"No." She shook her head at him as the last notes faded, moisture flicking off her cheeks. "No! You can't go. I love you, Giles!"

He sat bolt straight when he realized what she was saying.

From Buffy's perspective he looked affronted, perhaps even angrier. With another sob, she turned and fled. Outside in the cool night air, she let the grief flood over her. Grief not just for the now, but for an endless time of pushing away the pain, the rage, the heartache, pushing it so far down it that was easy to ignore...until now.

NEXT