Title: Lost 10/14
Author: Gail Christison
Rating: PG-13 for now
Pairing: B/G
Summary: Giles and Buffy a lost in a primitive environment in a dimensional rip, for what is a couple of weeks for them. Survival brings with it a lot of lessons and when they arrive back not long before Valentine's Day Buffy has to make some choices.
Timeline: This is kind of a semi-AU story set in season 7. There are no S-I-Ts. Giles is Giles. There's no Andrew, Wood is not relevent, and the First has not appeared yet. The main characters are otherwise unchanged.  Phew. I think that's a record for me for a summary LOL. Can you tell I really don't like a lot of things about season 7? ...I knew you could <vbg>

Disclaimer: Joss is the destroyer...I mean owner...I'm just doin' a little building ;-)
Feedback: Always love to hear what you think chriscln@ozemail.com.au
Distribution: All those who have my general permission and at my site  http://wickedsky.com/oncemore as soon as I get it finished. :-)
Author's notes: This one is big and not done yet, so I don't know how many parts there'll be  ultimately but thanks to Headrush and Gileswench these first ones are ready to post for Valentine's Day. Good thing there's technically 2 Valentine's Days for me to post over <g>

Dedication: To everyone who helps me to make a fic happen, either just by reading when I'm not impartial enough to know how it's going myself, or by beta-ing for me. Thank you!

Cindy, I hope this makes you feel better, mate :-)

Willow and Xander took one look at the rosy, but utterly exhausted, battered pair and made a decision.

Neither Buffy nor Giles were really aware of what was happening. All either of them knew was that they were being guided somewhere and that very shortly they were engulfed in a three-blanket quilt, heads sinking into soft pillows...and then nothing.

Xander and Willow stood watching them sleep.

"Together again, Will? And in my bed? I may be scarred for life."

Willow smiled. "Look at them. Did you see them when they came out of the bathroom? They belong together. I think they always have. I know both of them are miserable without the other one...and they secretly hate it when someone shows an interest in one of them. Like Buffy with Miss Calendar, and, a-and then she was really jealous of Kendra...it was so cute...and then Faith said Giles was cute...she hated that. And I won't even mention Olivia. Buffy didn't shut up about her for a month after she found her in Giles' shirt in his apartment."

"She found her in...why wasn't I told about this?" He demanded, miffed. "You mean, like, the shirt and nothing else?"

Willow nodded. "Why do you think she got all 'I can do this by myself' with the Sunday thing? She was so freaked out. Every time I thought she'd forgotten about it, something would make her start bitching again. Mostly about Olivia, but she picked on Giles' robe too. I liked that robe..."

"Wait. You've seen the robe? You've seen the robe *on* Giles? Again, why don't I know about this?"

Willow rolled her eyes. I was with Tara, just before, y'know, when Spike made us all crazy...just before Buffy had to fight Adam. I had to go back for my computer and he was sorta, well, hung-over, in a rumpled, sexy kinda way."

Xander covered his face with his palm. "Giles and 'sexy' in the same sentence, again. Not going there. So not wanting to have this conversation."

"You'll live. And they're safe, at last. C'mon, let's go tell Dawnie and Anya. We can ask Dawn if you can sleep in Buffy's bed tonight."

Xander's hand dropped and his eyes lit up. "I get to sleep in the Buffster's boudoir?"

Willow gave him a tolerant glare, trying not to grin. "On second thoughts, you can sleep on the couch."

"Hey...I nobly double my power bill for this quarter just from all the hot water they used, and I give up my sweet, sweet bed...and you want me to sleep on the Summers' couch? I know that couch. It has mystery bumps..."

"Giles sleeps on it all the time."

"Giles..." he began, ready to launch into a diatribe about what the older man was willing to tolerate for the sake of his Slayer, then looked at his friends, safe and snug and once again filling the gaping hole they'd left in all their lives...and swallowed emotionally. "Okay, I'm good. Let's go."

*******

Buffy stirred very slowly, not really wanting to wake up. She was way, way too comfy. Eventually, though, the bathroom's call was just too loud and obnoxious. She opened her eyes...and panicked for a split second.

Panicked first about not knowing where she was, and second, that all of it... everything...might have been a dream. She turned to her left. Her eyes widened then smiled. Not a dream...

After that everything came into focus, including where they must be, helped by the large, framed picture of Anya on Xander's dresser. She turned back to Giles, who was looking marginally better. There was colour in his cheeks again, where you could see them through the stubbly beard, and a lot of the deep lines in his face were gone, along with the dark patches under his eyes.

Buffy slipped out as silently and carefully as she could. He needed the sleep. The clock on Xander's microwave said ten forty-two. Well, it had to be 'a.m' but *which* 'a.m.'? And why were they alone? She got the drink of water she'd gone into the kitchenette for, then headed for the bathroom. When she re-emerged it was still in contemplation of the bliss that was civilization. She was also contemplating a breakfast she didn't have to catch, kill or cook on an open fire, or eat off a leaf.

Two spoonfuls of 'Scooby Doo' breakfast cereal, however, sent her back to the refrigerator looking for something a little less diabetes-inducing. Besides, marshmallows were for hot chocolate, and cinnamon was something you put on hot donuts or churros, *not* in breakfast cereal.

Unfortunately, apart from the milk, which she'd almost emptied onto the cereal, some really sad looking apples, and a half-eaten TV dinner, it was pretty bare. The cupboards revealed popping corn, candy bars, potato chips, pretzels, instant coffee, and, weirdly, an unopened package of teabags...then finally, next to the toaster, an open package of pop tarts. Buffy was scared to look at the expiry date.

While she waited for one to heat up, she made coffee. Instant wasn't exactly what she'd been dreaming of, but the smell of it when she poured the boiling water onto the granules was utter bliss.

After the stale pop tart and as much of the instant coffee as she could tolerate, Buffy spent some time taming her now clean hair, rooted around Xander's drawers and wardrobe for some clothes that didn't look too horrible on her and put on her semi-destroyed sneakers, since Xander's shoes were almost clown-sized on her. Then she borrowed a card and some cash from Giles' wallet, which Xander had conveniently left on the dining table. He'd gone to get all their bits and pieces from the shelter while they'd struggled to dress, before Willow created the portal that brought them all home.

*******

Giles woke to a delicious sensation. He was warm and incredibly comfortable, and someone was kissing him. He opened his eyes, then closed them again and kissed back.

When Buffy finally lifted her head she pecked him on the nose and straightened. "Good morning...I mean: afternoon, sleepy head."

He opened his eyes again and smiled very slowly. "Then it's true. We're back and I really don't have to get up and cook you roast snake for breakfast?"

Buffy's nose screwed up. "You couldn't dream about anything more fun than that?" Then she smiled back at him. "I've got something for you." As he drew himself up, a little shakily, into sitting position, she shoved all the pillows behind him for support.

Giles looked down at the tray she slid onto his lap, sniffed and sighed with loud approval.

"My God: real, brewed, 'English Breakfast' tea, jelly donuts...lovely. And where did you find those?" he asked, delighted at the pile of toasted and buttered English muffin splits, some with Giles' favourite: marmalade, on, some plain.

"I've been out. I owe you some money. I hope you don't mind. I wanted to spare you the Scooby-Doo breakfast cereal experience...and the stale pop-tart one too, actually. Besides, we, the carbohydrate-deprived, deserve a little spoilage."

He looked her up and down, appreciating the sleeveless summer dress with its green on white print against her now very tanned skin and the white-sandalled foot curled up behind her as she sat on the bed.

"You've been home?"

She shook her head. "This is part of what I owe you. Xander didn't have a thing to fit me, or you, for that matter. I shopped a little. I hope you don't mind too much. I'll pay you back as soon as I can get to the bank."

He took another look at her and shook his head. "How can I mind waking up to a vision like this?"

Buffy giggled. "I guess it's better than the vision you've had to wake up to for the last few weeks. They should make soap a national treasure or something."

Giles chuckled and sipped blissfully at the steaming mug of tea as he systematically helped Buffy demolish the contents of the tray.

"What about you? How are your wounds today? I see most of the cuts and scratches have healed."

Buffy shrugged and swallowed a chunk of donut. "My arm hurts, and my hip aches, but another couple days and I'll be all new again." She leaned forward and rested a cool palm on his brow. "You're not so toasty today. Not back to normal yet, but not scary any more."

His voice was dry. "Well that's very reassuring. I must say I feel far more human than I have in quite a while. Still tired, but fairly comfortable, which is quite a novelty given our circumstances of late."

She smiled. "Amen. Soft bed, sugar fix, tea, coffee...soap...it's all good."

He grinned back then looked into the eyes that were looking at him with such affection.

"What do you want to do?"

Buffy played with the last piece of muffin, understanding exactly what he meant. "I don't know yet. All I know is I want us to be...us. There are so many things to think about. I started thinking about it while I was buying you...while I was shopping. I never realized before how many things there are between us and...'us'."

"I told you it was complicated," he said gently, concealing the first stirrings of disappointment, with the ease of someone who's done it far too many times before.

Buffy swung the tray onto Xander's side table and crawled onto his lap. She slid her arms around his neck and kissed him very thoroughly before lifting her head, Giles even more reluctant than she was to part again.

"It's not complicated. It's as simple as that. Everything else is just...details. The only two things that matter to me are how Dawn feels about us and how you feel about stuff like staying here now, when Willow says you have a great place in England, and friends and a pony..."

"A horse, Buffy. A seventeen-hand hack, not a 'pony'" he pointed out stuffily.

"Sorry. My point is you have this other life that you made, or went back to...or something, that's really important to you."

Giles reached out and caressed the newly brushed tresses back from her cheek. "There are a lot of things that are important to me...some a great deal more than others."

She took a moment to assimilate that, and then smiled back at him. "What will happen to the p...um...horsie?"

"He will go back to boarding where I left him to come over here in the first place."

Buffy did some rapid math. "That's a lot of his life without you in it."

"Roughly two thirds of it so far," he agreed. "But he's well cared at the stables. He's schooled and shown by others and there are several people, including both of them, who dote on him. He wants for nothing and will not, even if I have to leave him again."

"You'd do that for me?"

"In a heartbeat, if it was the right thing to do."

She made one of her famous pouting faces. "I can hear a 'but' in there."

It made him smile a little. "Not really. I want to be with you, too, Buffy, but you have to be certain about what you want. There are so many issues, not least your feelings for Spike, and the likelihood that your sister is going to make Xander look positively understated when she finds out about us."

Buffy closed her eyes. She had managed not to think about Spike for a long time. Now she had to face her feelings for the vampire whether she wanted to or not. She pulled a shopping receipt from her pocket and looked at the date: thirteenth of February. Great.

She looked up at Giles and her heart did one of its silly little dances when he focused that green gaze quizzically on her. She loved his eyes, loved the way they showed his emotions even when his face didn't, and she loved the small brown patch in the left one, that somehow made him uniquely Giles.

She owed it to him to be certain that the Spike thing was over. For the first time in her life she was really in love. She knew it, but she also know that her dark side was about as likely to just lie down as Willow's had been. Like she'd ever had complete control over it anyway, *not*...and it scared her, not least because Giles deserved so much more. In the past she might have just let it go and hoped for the best. She looked at the man in front of her. She couldn't do that to him again...not ever.

"You're right. I-I asked Spike...before we, before that patrol, to go to Diego's tomorrow..."

Giles looked nonplussed.

"Mexican food," she explained awkwardly. "I still have to deal with what happened between us, and I thought if I could see him like that and it didn't mean anything, then it would finally, really, be over."

"Do you still feel something for him?"

"I don't know," she admitted honestly. "Before...it wasn't healthy. It was dark and twisted and violent and horrible...but that was both of us...not just him. A part of me understands him and a part of him understands me...the not so nice parts. I'm just not sure what that means, or if I can let go of the 'Evil Buffy monster' any more than Willow can really escape from 'Dark Scary Willow'. It scared me...it still does. I can't even look you in the eye and say 'it's not who I am any more' because, God help me, I just don't know."

His face had grown shuttered, like it used to be, and his voice was very neutral.

"Then perhaps you should see him."

The sound of Xander's front door rattling open ended the conversation.

*******

Dawn had provided an ecstatic welcome when Xander and Willow brought Buffy and Giles home that afternoon. Dinner had been a family affair, with everyone there, even Anya. Giles and Buffy had barely spoken to each other, but no one really noticed, too busy asking questions and listening to Giles, the consummate storyteller, recounting their various adventures and describing the world that had very nearly become their permanent home.

It wasn't until the front door closed for the last time, a couple of hours after Dawn had reluctantly gone to bed, that the two of them finally faced each other again.

"I'll get the linen for the couch."

Momentary surprise, instantly controlled, showed in Buffy's face. "You're not well enough to sleep on the couch. You get Willow's room tonight. She's staying at Xander's."

He nodded and then seemed to make some effort to lighten the situation. "It's good to be back."

She almost smiled. "Yeah, it is," she agreed.

For two hours Buffy tossed and turned, got up and looked out her window, then tossed some more. Then she dressed and went out to patrol. About halfway along her normal beat, she made a decision.

The crypt door was closed, but not locked. Buffy opened it and stepped inside. It was nothing like his old one. He hadn't even bothered to try and make it a home. It was a very old one, maybe from last century, and as neglected as his previous one.

"Spike?"

"Heard you were back."

"Where are you?"

He stepped out of the shadows, dwarfed by the statue that rose up behind him: a Victorian mother and infant.

"Thought you were dead...or something."

Buffy half smiled. He was still Spike. "Yeah, well. Not dead. Giles and me...we're good at surviving...unless there's a prophecy or a god involved, I guess."

"So...you two did a little bonding on your little adventure?"

"Depends what you mean by 'bonding'." She was well aware of the innuendo in his voice, and she hadn't forgotten his earlier suspicions about them.

He regarded her for a minute. "Well, I can see you haven't exactly been shaggin' like bunnies...but something's changed. Unless of course you've come sniffin' around because you need to scratch that old itch again...?"

Buffy actually smiled. "You're still disgusting, Spike."

He looked at her with his clear blue eyes, still as easy to read as they always had been. In a way, it had been one of the things that had drawn her to him. He was easy: no complications, no reverses...at least not at first. He was what he was and he made no apologies for it...and he saw what she was, after she came back, and he didn't care.

"You come to say hello, or goodbye, Pet? I haven't eaten yet tonight, so..."

"Definitely still a pig. And whether you get anything to eat tonight depends on what...or who, it is."

Spike drew out a cigarette and lit it up. "I can't keep anything cold here, now can I? No power. No telly and no bloody microwave, either," he drawled. "Clem keeps a supply for me."

Buffy's eyes narrowed. When Spike started making a point of looking laid back and unconcerned it almost always meant he was anything but.

Her tone softened. "Are you okay?"

He threw the barely-smoked cigarette down and ground it into the floor. "Depends on what you mean by 'okay'. I'm stuck in this draughty wreck of a crypt, wondering if you're dead or alive, and the idiot carpenter-boy decides they don't need me to patrol with them. I'm starting to wonder if it's time to move on, and Red comes to see me, tells me you're back and alive. Then she tells me to leave you alone. 'Things have changed', she said."

Buffy shrugged. "Things are different. But then, things have been different between us for a while now..."

Spike's expression grew bitter and impatient. "Since that little episode in your bathroom, you mean?" She looked up at him, and he was surprised to see that the

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