Title: Somewhere In Time 4/?
Author: Gilesbabe
Pairing: Buffy/Giles (Duh)
Rating: FRM - Mature
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, nor am I making a profit.
This story is for the enjoyment of those of us who believe this couple belongs together.
This has not been beta'd. Any mistakes are mine. Sorry.

Giles woke when Buffy had moved off him, but kept his eyes closed and continued to breathe deeply. He needed a few minutes to re-group before facing her. He heard footsteps coming down the stairs, then two sets leaving the room. He sighed and opened his eyes.

This was real, yesterday had been real. His Buffy, his dear sweet girl, was gone. His Willow, his Xander, all of his life. The weight of the reality was almost too much to accept. The only thing that kept him going was that this Buffy had lost just as much, and that she needed him. He sat up, took a deep breath, and headed for the kitchen.

He lingered outside the door, listening to the conversation inside. It was a little incredible, but perhaps Mrs. Summers' idea was a good one. Keep the two of them separate from their counterparts by thinking of them as twins. Identical faces, but different experiences.

The time alone with Mrs. Summers was awkward; in his world she was suspicious of his connection to Buffy. Here she had clearly accepted his place in Buffy's life. Not only that, they were apparently on a first name basis. And there was that reference to 'candy'. He had the feeling that it had something to do with his counterpart and Mrs. Summers. Joyce, he reminded himself. He was supposed to call her Joyce. It might cause difficulties if he suddenly became formal with her in the presence of others.

Even though he brushed it off, he was very concerned by the fact that Buffy wasn't healing as quickly as she normally did. The wound was a severe one, and he wished he could insist that she go to the hospital. And she was so thin. What had her life been like that his counterpart had allowed her to get in that condition?

The walk to 'his' flat passed in silence, both of them lost in their thoughts. In fact he was giving serious consideration to Buffy's off hand remark about them sharing an apartment. If she were under his roof he could see to it that she ate properly and got enough rest. He paused in front of the door.

He had felt so uncomfortable here yesterday, like he was trespassing. So much was exactly like his flat, yet there were enough differences to make it feel alien. He hadn't spent much time here yesterday, just long enough to take a quick shower and change into some clothes that were in the bathroom. He had felt an overwhelming need to get back to Buffy, as if he could only be sure that this wasn't a dream when he was with her. Xander had paced the living room and had seemed as ill at ease as he was.

Giles watched Buffy as she looked around the room. She was smiling and looked more at peace than since they had first faced each other the day before. He stood, uncertain how to proceed. When Buffy suggested that he take a shower and change, he complied blindly.

Opening his dresser drawer he found it full of women's' underwear. He froze. Dear God, his counterpart had a woman living here with him. What if it had been one of those girls he hadn't known yesterday? Oh, dear lord, what if he and Mrs. Summers (Joyce he reminded himself almost hysterically) had been involved here. He slowly closed the drawer and opened another, this time finding what he was looking for.

He approached the closet door with the air of a man that expected something to jump out at him. Opening it confirmed his fears. The entire right side was filled with women's clothing. He looked closer. These didn't seem to be the type of clothes that a woman Joyce's age would wear. He frowned thoughtfully. In fact, that dress looked like something he had seen Buffy….. He slammed the door on that thought.

Giles quickly chose slacks and a shirt and closed the door. As he turned to go back down stairs a flash of color caught his eye and he turned toward it. There, in the middle of the bed, was a pink stuffed pig. He blinked at it a few times and the name Mr. Gordo popped into his head. Buffy's Mr. Gordo. He leaned weakly against the door. The Buffy and Giles of this world had been living together. Bloody hell.

No wonder Buffy had kept touching him yesterday. She and the Giles in her world must have been together as well. Giles went down the stairs and on into the bathroom in a daze. He had never imagined this kind of relationship with his Buffy. He avoided looking at himself in the bathroom mirror.

Well, to be perfectly honest, and since he was alone there was no reason not to, he had, occasionally, had the odd dream or two. Dreams of what might have been if he were younger or Buffy older. And here she was, older. Still too young, of course, and grieving for her own Giles, but maybe…….

Giles cut that thought off and climbed into the shower. He washed quickly, toweled off, dressed, then began to shave. Buffy knocked on the door to tell him the courier from the Embassy had arrived and after that events seemed to gather speed until he was swept along helplessly.

Adrian Cartwright was an old friend that, thankfully, hadn't been recently in touch with his counterpart. When Adrian offered to take him around to do the various errands he accepted, needing to get away from Buffy until he had come to terms with his discoveries.

What he had assumed would take an hour at most turned into nearly six hours of uncomfortable conversations with strangers. The bank manager had exclaimed at his 'miraculous' return from death and had wanted the entire story. That had been followed by the hassle of re- opening an account, the old one having been canceled when he had been declared dead. The bank manger had insisted that he wait, that the bank could issue him a new card immediately, but that they would need to bring it from L.A.

He had arranged to return to the bank, citing the need to run other errands, and Adrian drove him to the insurance company. The scene there had been the same as at the bank. Everyone in the office crowded around to speak to him, and again they had pressured him to wait, promising to complete the claim for his car immediately so that he could replace it at once. Two long hours later, he returned to the bank with a rather large check.

He was again mobbed by people in the bank, customers this time, and it was over an hour before he was able to leave. His new checks had been ordered and he had the new credit card as well as cash in his wallet. From there Adrian took him to the telephone company. More explanations, more curious people. Giles' head felt like it was going to explode.

After they left the telephone company, Adrian suggested that he go to the license branch to replace his drivers' license. Giles reminded him that he no longer had a car and said that he could take care of it later. Instead of answering, Adrian stopped at the next car lot and suggested that, since he had already received the insurance check, he should replace the car now. Giles sighed and gave into the inevitable.

It was another three hours before Giles pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex. He parked the car, turned it off, and with a sigh dropped his head back against the rest. For the first time since he had left the flat he could relax. All of those people, expressing concern and asking questions. How many of them had really been friends of his counterpart and how many had just been curious? He looked up at the door to his flat. He had been gone a long time; he hoped that Buffy wasn't too worried. Giles picked up the sack that contained the long delayed lunch that he had stopped to buy and exited the car.

Giles opened the door to a quiet flat. He closed the door, placed the sack on the pass through and looked around for Buffy. The bathroom door was open, so that left only one place for her to be if she was still here. He climbed the step to the loft. There on his bed, clutching the stuffed pig, Buffy lay asleep.

He moved over and carefully sat on the edge of the bed. She had been crying again, he could see the evidence still on her face. Without conscious thought his hand reached over and smoothed her hair off her forehead. The cut still didn't appear to be healing, and she was still so pale. He hated to wake her; sleep would be helping the healing process, but she needed to eat. His hand moved to her shoulder and he gave her a gentle nudge.

"Buffy, I'm back. I brought us something to eat." No response. "Buffy, please, you must wake up and eat something. Please."

Buffy gave a little stretch and smiled. "Giles," she murmured and opened her eyes.

Giles caught his breath at the love he saw, then she blinked and the look was gone.

"Oh, you're back. What time is it?" She lifted up and swung her legs over to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. She looked down at her hands, keeping her face averted.

He placed his hand under her chin and lifted. He looked sadly into her eyes. "I'm sorry that I'm not your Giles."

"No, don't; please don't apologize for being alive. It's not your fault, just like it's not my fault that I'm not your Buffy. It's just what is."

He pulled her to him for a brief hug, then stood. He extended his hand to help her up, and the two left the room, going back downstairs. "It's called survivors guilt. I'm sure we've both experienced it before."

Buffy nodded. "Just about every apocalypse." She looked at the clock. "Wow, you were gone a long time. Were there problems?"

"Not as such, most of the time was taken by all the people who wanted to congratulate me on my return. Apparently I made quite a few friends here. The longest amount of time was at the insurance company. They rushed through the claim check for the car so that I could have the money to buy another one. Imagine my surprise when I found that I had been driving a red BMW convertible."

Buffy gave a little snort of laughter. "Right, the tramp."

Giles gave her a puzzled look. "I beg your pardon?"

"I used to kid my Giles that the car was his answer to a mid-life crisis. Instead of becoming involved with a woman, he bought a used car; a two door tramp that would spend all of his money. He didn't like it at first, but then it became a joke between the two of us."

"Ah. Well, its replacement is a little more conservative."

Buffy groaned. "Not another Citroen?"

Giles gave her a little smile. "No, a Mustang."

"You wild man." Buffy smiled back for a moment, then looked around the room. "Wasn't food mentioned?"

"I stopped at the Golden Palace, where Mr. and Mrs. Wong exclaimed over me and insisted that the meal was free." Giles raked his hand through his hair. "I feel quite the fraud."

"That's the survivor's guilt again. What did you get?"

"I'm not sure; they said that they would fix all my favorites." Giles looked at her in frustration. "I only stopped there on impulse, because it was a place that I had never eaten before, only to find that apparently we had become regulars in the last few months." He sat on the sofa cradling his head in his hands. "I don't know if I can do this."

Buffy moved behind the sofa. "Sit back." When he leaned back she began to massage his neck and shoulders. It took a few minutes, but he gradually relaxed and Buffy could see the tension ease from his face. She continued for almost ten minutes, then leaned forward to see if he was asleep. Giles' eyes opened slowly and the stared into each others eyes for a long moment.

Buffy released his shoulders. "Just sit; I'll fix you a plate."

Giles lounged back on the sofa watching Buffy in the kitchen thru half open eyes. When she carried a tray in with plates for both of them he sat up. Without looking at her he said, "She was living here wasn't she, the Buffy from this timeline."

"Yeah, a little over a month, according to the diaries."

"But Joyce didn't say anything about that this morning."

"They hadn't told her yet. They hadn't officially told anyone, but Willow had to have known, after all they were supposed to be room mates at the dorm."

Giles nodded. "I take it that this wasn't the same time that you and your Giles moved in together."

There was a clatter as the plate that Buffy had just picked up hit the table. She stared down at it. "I never lived with my Giles. The same event that brought theses two together drove me and my Giles apart." A tear trailed down her face.

Giles stood up abruptly. "I'm sorry, I just assumed." He stopped. "I didn't mean to upset you." He paced over to the window. "I don't think I'm hungry now."

"Don't be stupid Giles. You couldn't have known cause we haven't had the chance to talk yet. Come on, you need to eat too." She gave a little laugh that was part sob. "I can't do this without you."

Shoulders hunched, hands shoved in his pockets, Giles stared out the window. Without turning around he said, "I have a request. If this upsets you more, I'm sorry, but I don't want you to call me Giles." He heard her indrawn breath and continued. "I am finding this entire situation disorienting; the Giles from this timeline, your Giles, everyone calling me Giles. I want you to call me Rupert. I need to have my own identity in all this confusion; I need to know that you know who I am." He looked back at Buffy. "I know that isn't fair to you since you have no choice but to be Buffy." He paused. "Unless you want me to call you by your middle name?"

A shadow passed over her face. "No, not my middle name. I'm fine with being Buffy, but if that's what you want I'll be happy to call you Rupert." She had a sudden impish grin. "Rupert bear."

He gave a groan and dropped his head. Raising it again he glared at her. "My counterpart never told you about that."

"Willow told me when she came back from England." Buffy held up her hand to forestall his question. "No, I'm not going into that now. That event happened after this point in time, and was a whole other problem. We need to concentrate on comparing the three timelines up until yesterday. Now, come sit down and eat." He crossed the room and sat down. Still with that impish grin Buffy waited until he had taken a bite of food, then said, "You know, if you like, I can call you Ripper."

He choked and coughed, shooting her a glare. When he finally caught his breath he pointed his fork at her and said, "You will explain about that."

The grin disappeared. "I will say one thing and that's all. The rest is in the diaries." She paused and he continued to glare. "Eyghon." He paled and looked shocked. "Dinner now, explanations later."

Rupert continued to eat mechanically. Dear god in heaven, what could have possibly happened to make his counterpart tell her about Eyghon?

They finished their meal in silence. Buffy gathered the dishes and carried them back to the kitchen. She followed him over to the desk and placed her hand on two books that were set off to the left. "These are the diaries that this Giles kept from the day they met until the day after her encounter with the Master. The other books are the rest of his diaries in order until the day they were killed. These are just his personal diaries. I didn't think you would be interested in the official ones right now."

"And everything in them is identical to what happened in your timeline?"

"Until the day after graduation day; things split off then." She placed her hand on two books set off to the right. "These are the diaries from that point until Monday."

Rupert nodded, drew a deep breath, and opened the first diary. There in front of him was the record of his arriving in Sunnydale, the feelings of anticipation when he knew his Slayer was coming, his shock at her denial of her Calling. He had detailed their encounter later that night at the Bronze. How odd it had been that she had picked the vampire out of the crowd because of his clothing. He had written that he was sure that her Slayer instincts had felt the vibrations of the demon on a sub-conscious level, but that she had put the sensations into a context that she could accept. A cup of tea appeared at his elbow.

He looked up absently. "Thank you." He blinked and focused. "This is very strange; he uses the exact words and phrasing that I did. If my diary were here the entries would be identical."

"I know that my refusing to tell you things has been frustrating, but this is why you need to read these first. Anything I tell you will be influenced by my point of view. You have to see things through his eyes before I can tell you my version." Buffy looked at him anxiously.

"I understand, Buffy." Rupert smiled gently at her. "Thank you again for the tea." He turned his attention back to the diary.

Some time later he read an entry, read it again, then looked over at where Buffy was sitting on the sofa. "This is different."

Buffy looked up from the papers she was reading. "Did you find something?"

"It mentions here that they discovered that the Anointed One was a child."

"Yes, Giles got some information from Ms. Calendar that she had gotten from an e-mail that some monk had sent out."

"I never knew. Either that monk didn't send out the message, or Jenny didn't think it was worth mentioning to me."

"Do you really think it was that important?"

"How did you handle the situation?"

"I let him lead me to the Master. I planned to take the Master out, but he put me in thrall and drank from me, then drown me."

Rupert thought for a moment. "My Buffy didn't know that the child was working with the Master. She would have done all she could to protect what she believed was an innocent child. That would have left her vulnerable. In fighting mode the Master wouldn't have been able to put her in thrall. That's why he snapped her neck. All he needed was to taste her blood to open his confinement; she didn't need to be alive for that." The detachment left his voice.

"My poor, dear, girl. I should have been with her. She shouldn't have died alone." His shoulders started shaking and he collapsed on the desk, sobbing. Lost in his misery, he felt Buffy pull him into her arms. "That's it, let it all out. You've been strong for me and you let it all build up inside of you. Go ahead and cry; there's no one here but me." She rocked him slightly, tears streaming down her own face.

Rupert got himself under control and pulled away. He wiped his eyes and averted his face from her. "I'm sorry. I lost control there for a while, but I'm alright now."

Buffy tilted his face up to hers. "No, don't apologize for caring and showing it. That was the problem between me and my Giles; we didn't talk. We held things in and let the hurt build up and push us apart."

He gave her a serious look. "I'm not sure I can let my feelings show. I've spent quite a few years learning how to repress." He looked away again. "I had a wild period in my life and some very bad things happened."

Buffy nodded. "Randal."

He turned shocked eyes back to her. "Rupert, all the questions you want to ask me are answered in the diaries. You need to start reading again." Buffy took the next diary off the stack and placed it in his hands. She looked out of the window. "It will be dark soon; I'll do a quick patrol then."

"No." Buffy looked at him in surprise. "Give yourself another night to heal. If you were hit in that side it could incapacitate you. Please, Sunnydale will be fine for one night."

"Okay, but just tonight. Tomorrow night I patrol." She glanced at her watch. "Mom should be home by now; I'll call to let her know that I probably won't be back there tonight."

"Very well." Rupert hesitated, turning the diary over in his hands. This was unexplored territory. The life he might have had if his Slayer hadn't died. He drew a deep breath and opened the book.

Untold time later he looked up with horrified eyes, searching for Buffy. She was huddled on the sofa watching him carefully. It was almost too much to take in. Ethan's two visits, Eyghon killing Dee and Phillip then possessing them, Eyghon possessing Jenny. Ethan tattooing the mark on Buffy to make her a target. A second Slayer, Angel losing his soul and becoming Angelus, Jenny being killed, his attempt to kill Angelus that was in reality a suicide attempt. The attack that led to the death of Kendra and his capture. His torture at the hands of Angelus. His bitter condemnation of himself for telling Angelus the secret of Acathla. Buffy being forced to send Angel to hell and her disappearance for the summer. Joyce blaming him for her running away, his futile searches, the overwhelming joy of her return.

Rupert knew from her defensive posture that she was expecting him to be angry with her. Instead, all he could do was silently curse his other selves for not giving her the reassurances that she had needed. He stood and walked over to the sofa. He stopped in front of her and without a word opened his arms. She gave a startled blink then flew off the seat, landing against him with enough force to cause him to stumble back a step.

Buffy was shaking in his arms. "I never asked him. I never knew how badly he had been hurt. It was all my fault."

"No, love, no. You didn't know, couldn't have known." He held her for a few minutes, then trying for a lighter touch said, "Well, so that's how you heard about Ripper. Ethan has always refused to call me by my real name."

Buffy gave a soggy chuckle and sat back down. "No, I not only heard about Ripper, I got to meet him."

Rupert goggled at her. "Keep reading."

Twenty minutes later Buffy saw a tide of red flood over Rupert's face. "Bloody hell." His head hit the diary with a thump. Buffy giggled. He raised his head and glared at her. "I will never be able to face your Mother again."

"Why? It wasn't you. Mom and my Giles were a little uncomfortable around each other for a while, but they worked through it. I think when I found out it took the pressure off."

"She told you?"

"What makes you think it was Mom?"

Rupert blinked a few times. "No. I would never have told my Buffy about having sex with her mother and I don't believe any version of myself would do so either."

"It was a few months later, when I got hurt by a demon that read minds. It passed the ability on to me and Mom freaked. By trying to not think about it, she thought about it and I saw it in her mind."

"Telepathic demon…" he started but stopped when Buffy pointed at the books. "I know, keep reading." He sighed and returned to the book.

A few minutes later he looked back up with a frown. "He says that he's afraid that the new Slayer, this girl Faith, is unstable."

"He was right. Xander called her psycho slayer."

Rupert nodded and returned to his reading. Shortly Buffy saw him pale. "Dear god in heaven, he didn't..he couldn't. How could the Council do that to you?"

"Giles would never talk about it, but Wes told me that if Giles had refused the Council would have sent a wet-works team to take him out. He did what he had to do to keep me as safe as he could."

"Those bloody bastards."

"No argument here."

Rupert read a few more pages. "That was why they fired him? Because he was fulfilling his oath to protect his Slayer?"

"Travers said it was because Giles loved me like a daughter. Personally, I think Travers just used that as an excuse. He would have found some reason to split us up regardless of what happened. We were too successful and that was a threat to his power."

Rupert looked at her for a long moment, nodded, then resumed reading. Later he looked up to ask her a question and saw that she had fallen asleep. Silently he rose from the chair and went to the closet for a blanket. He covered her, brushing the hair away from her face, then returned to his reading.

Two hours later he closed the last book, sat back, took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Lord he was tired. Tired and hungry. He went into the kitchen and looked around. Two items were different; a microwave oven and a coffee maker. Obviously the Buffy of this timeline had bought them. He peered into the refrigerator. The remains of the Chinese food was there, but he wasn't sure how to use the microwave and didn't want to wake Buffy. Opening the meat drawer he found packages of deli meats and cheese. Rupert made himself a couple of sandwiches, added pickles and olives to the plate and poured a glass of milk.

Taking the meal back to the living room, he sat in the armchair and ate, thinking over what he had read. He understood about Angel now, as well as Wesley. He wondered, briefly, if another Slayer had been Called, but thought not. Surely Travers would have tried to contact him? Travers. That pillock had better not come around any time soon, or he would show him what being the Watcher to the Slayer really meant.

There was a lot he still needed to absorb, and he had a number of questions for Buffy, but all in all he thought he had a grasp of the current situation. At least as good a grasp as his counterpart had had. He and Buffy needed to have Xander and Willow over for a talk as well. Bring their perspective into the picture.

But that was for tomorrow. For now he was content to sit and watch Buffy sleep.

TBC...

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