TITLE: WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUR NAME WAS?
AUTHOR: HEIR TO SHADOW
DISCLAIMERS: NOTHING BELONGS TO ME EXCEPT ARLINE.
PART 4/4

A few days later, Joyce decided to give into Giles request to see Buffy. There had been no change in her daughter's condition and the only word she had said in nearly three weeks was "Giles". She told Giles that one of the scoobies must be in the room with him at all times, and if there was any sign that his presence upset Buffy he would be barred from her room permanently. Giles heart was filled with hope as he packed a bag to take to the hospital. He wanted to be prepared in case Buffy responded favorably to his presence and he would be allowed to stay. With the contents of his bag, he wouldn't have to leave until Buffy did.

As he approached her room, his hands trembled with fear and anticipation. He looked in the window. She lay so tiny, so pale, so still. He had cried more in the last weeks than in his entire life but still found tears pricking behind his eyelids. What if if was too late, what if she was already dead? He knew that if she was, he also would die this night. He would go to the nearest cemetary and wait for the demons to kill him. Once he would have felt he owed it to the children to survive long enough to live without Buffy and him, but best to do it know while they hated him. Then Xander moved into view, stroking Buffy's still hand and settling in the chair beside her preparing to read a book. "Thank God" Giles thought, "I was so afraid I was too late".

He hadn't realized he had spoken aloud until Xander turned and looked at him. "You are too late" he said flatley. "Buffy has needed you for months and you were never there. I know you were under a demon's spell, but all I saw was you getting happily laid on a daily basis, and Buffy dying a little more each day. I don't know if I can ever forgive you, but you are the one she calls for so I'll go sit in the corner. But remember, I will be watching you all the time. Any sign that you are agitating her and out you go."

Giles just nodded and settled himself into the chair beside Buffy's bed. For a few minutes he just drank in the sight of her. Always pale, she now seemed almost transparent as the finest china, she had lost considerable weight that she couldn't afford to loose, she was still bruised, and the heavy lines of stitches criss-crossed her body. She was hooked up to so many machines you could barely see her. But to Giles she was more beautiful than ever. He was angry and disappointed with himself for ever succumbing to the wiles of the spirit demon.

He gently smoothed his hand down her cool check, then holding her hand with one of his, he picked up the book Xander had left and began to read. Soon Buffy became restless moving her head gently side to side on her pillow, and Xander came up behind him and told him to leave. As Giles released Buffy's hand and prepared to go, she let out a piercing scream and called his name. She thrashed on the bed until Giles reached for her hand again and began to speak gently to her. Xander shot him an undeciperable look and went to get the doctor.

When the doctor came back with Xander, he asked Giles to stop speaking and release Buffy's hand. He did and again she screamed, thrashed and called for Giles. The doctor motioned him urgently back to Buffy's side and Giles gladly complied. He only felt fully alive when touching her. She was as necessary to him as breathing, and he also felt like screaming when he had to let go of her. The doctor questioned him quietly ascertaining that he was the Giles Buffy had been calling for for weeks. Although he said nothing, the accusation in his eyes was unmistakeable, and Giles felt, highly deserved. The doctor asked him how long he would stay, and he replied that pending Joyce's approval and the use of a cot, he would remain as long as Buffy did. The doctor nodded and left to contact Joyce.

Soon after Joyce came into the room with an angry look on her face. "I want to see this supposed 'affect' you're having on Buffy before I decide anything". Giles repeated his earlier actions and received the same response from Buffy. "Well", Joyce said quietly "I hate it, but I'll do anything for Buffy, even this." She left the room to give the doctor her permission for Giles to stay with Buffy. Xander who had remained quietly in the background said softly "I don't understand, I know any number of men who would ask for nothing more than to worship Buffy as she deserves. You treat her like she was nothing and she wants to die without you." Giles winced, but said nothing.

As Joyce returned with doctor, nurse and cot, the room was arranged to allow Giles to be with Buffy as much as possible. It was agreed that someone would relieve Giles for at least four hours a day allowing him to clean up, and get some fresh air and relaxation. While his heart rebelled against being separated from Buffy for an instant, he head knew he could help her better if he took some care of himself.

Finally everyone was gone and Buffy and Giles were alone. He glanced thoroughly and carefully at the tubes and machines, and saw that if he were very gentle he would be able to fit onto the bed with her. He hoped it would help Buffy to have him hold her, and he knew it would do a great deal to ease the ache in his heart as well. He slowly maneuvered onto the bed disturbing Buffy as little as possible. Finally he lay with his head next to hers, his body curved around her holding her bringing a small measure of peace to both of them. They drifted into a blessedly dreamless sleep - the first good sleep either had had in a very long time.

When Giles woke, Buffy was the first and only thing he say. He softly kissed her forehead and cheek and captured her small hand in his. He was beginning to talk to her when someone softly cleared their throat. He glanced around to see gentle Tara in the room. He apologized to Tara as he planned to do to all of his friends and to Buffy's mother. Tara just smiled and told Giles how it had been Buffy who had sensed the wrongness in Arline, but thought her jealousy might be misleading her. She also told him that she and Anya had felt "something" about Arline but couldn't place it, and so everyone had basically ignored Buffy so there was plenty of blame to share. Then she told him to go shower, shave and eat and she would leave him and Buffy alone when he returned.

Refreshed and rested from the brief walk he took, the shower and the meal, he returned to Buffy's room and said goodnight to Tara. When the night nurse came in, he was in the chair beside the bed reading to Buffy. The nurse looked at Giles and said "it may be wishful thinking, but I think she looks a little better tonight". Giles heart was full of joy. When the nurse left, he once again crawled into bed with Buffy and began talking to her while stroking her hair where her head was not bandaged. He told her all about Arline. He told her how much he loved Buffy, longed for her return, how he had desired her for so long and that she might feel the same was a dream come true. He talked of his childhood, his watcher training, his life as Buffy's watcher, their friends. Anything that came to his mind or his heart he poured out to Buffy. Was it his imagination, or did her head tilt slightly in his direction? Filled with hope, he talked until he was hoarse confirming his love for her, his need for her over and over again, until overcome with exhaustion he fell asleep.

That pretty much set the pattern for the next few days. Giles spent every possible moment with Buffy, and whenever he could he lay in bed with her. He apologized to Joyce and the children and they were trying very hard to forgive him because they loved Buffy as he so obviously did, and because in truth they all loved Giles. It would take some time but he was very optimistic that things could be mended. Buffy progressed to a certain point - her bruises healed, her stitches were removed and only faint scars could be seen, but she stubbornly clung to unconsciousness.

One day Joyce and the doctor entered the room. Giles was afraid they meant to bar him from the room, but the doctor had another plan. "We are going to try to shock Buffy into consciousness" he said. He proposed that Giles leave the room for longer than his usual hour break to see how Buffy responded. Giles didn't like it, but realized he had no choice but to accept. After two hours Buffy became restless and called for Giles. The doctor refused to let him go to her. Soon she began screaming over and over again "Giles not a dream. Giles come back. Giles, Giles!!" followed by heartbreaking sobbing. Giles broke, pushed the doctor aside and grabbed Buffy's hand. "Buffy, I'm here, I'm real, I love you and I swear I will never leave you again" all said with a Ripper glare at the doctor and Joyce. Slowly Buffy calmed down, and to Giles shock he felt her weakly grip his hand, the most response they had had from her in almost a month. Giles and Joyce cried with relief while the doctor shook everyone's hand and left to write up the chart.

Giles and Joyce eyed one another warily. Joyce said "I know you were possessed and someday my heart will believe that. In the meantime Buffy needs you and that is good enough for me. Just remember that she is still quite young and badly injured so don't rush things" With that she gave him a brief hug and left. After that Buffy's slayer healing appeared to kick in, but she was emotionally withdrawn. She couldn't bear to have Giles leave but he knew that she was avoiding the real issues. On the day before she was to be released there was a minor crisis. She wanted to stay with Giles, but he knew if they couldn't discuss what was troubling her that it would be a disaster to have her with him. She adamantly resisted the conversation until it was pointed out to her that the only way she could come to Giles was if they talked.

Everyone left them alone to talk. "Buffy?" Giles prompted, "I know this is probably harder for you than the physical healing but it must be done. Won't you please tell me what is troubling you?" "I saw you and Arline together, how sexy she was, how much she was pleasing you. What if I can't compete with that. I know you say you love me, and I love you, but....?" "Buffy, I won't lie, the sex was good, but it was just sex. Even when I was in her thrall, somewhere deep inside of me knew I was defiling the feelings that I had for you, that you were the only one I loved, but I was powerless to stop. Once I was aware I was possessed, it was too late for me to do anything about it. Thank God for our friends, or we both would be dead by now, and we still don't even know who hired the demon." They talked for quite some time and both were much more comfortable after that and the doctor and Joyce felt confident releasing Buffy to Giles care.

When they arrived at Giles' home, they found that the scoobies had cleaned from top to bottom and stocked the refrigerator and cupboards with groceries. Their thoughtfulness touched Buffy and Giles deeply. Buffy went upstairs to change and lie down. When Giles came upstairs a little while later to bring her medications, he found her laying in his bed dressed only in one of his shirts. He felt ashamed of the erection he developed as he watched her, and went downstairs to take a cold shower and change clothes.

The next week was surprisingly easy. They felt like and old married couple. They knew each other so well that they could finish the others sentence and anticipate their next move. The spent a lot of time on the couch watching movies, Giles reading to Buffy, playing games, eating and relaxing. The only snake in this garden was the ever growing sexual tension, which was not helped by Buffy's insistence on living in his shirts! One day she suggested a light training session, which Giles soon found was a mistake. If he wasn't rejoicing in touching her, he was being pummeled for losing attention thinking about touching her. He called the session to a halt quickly for his own self preservation.

One night when Giles brought Buffy's nightime medicine, he found her lying in bed with tears quietly running down her face. "What's wrong luv'?" he startled her by asking. "Giles, why don't you want me. Is it Arline after all? I've been waiting for months to make love with you, but you can't even stand to be near me long enough to train." She broke down into sobs while Giles wondered how two such intelligent people could so consistently get their signals crossed and misunderstand one another.

Giles took Buffy in his arms and tilted her chin until she was looking at him. Slowly he bent forward and kissed the tears from her cheeks. "Buffy luv, you have just been through a long, painful physical, emotional and mental period in your life. I want nothing more than to take you in my arms and make you mine forever, but I promised your mother I wouldn't rush you." Buffy sighed "my mother means well, but she has never known what is best for me. You are all I want or need to heal. Please make love to me?"

He knew he was lost Just looking into the wonder that were her eyes took him half way, and hearing her ask him to make love with her was beyond any prayer or dream he had ever had. "Are you sure that your body is recovered enough for this?" he asked not willing to take a chance on hurting her. "Giles" she said, "if I was any more recovered and ready I would explode. Now please kiss me properly - or improperly as the case may be!" Giles couldn't help laughing as he lowered his mouth to hers. Trust Buffy to make even such a serious and sacred moment something to laugh about! As his mouth touched her parted lips and his tongue swept deeply into her sweet mouth, all of his coherent thought moved south of the border and all he could do was feel.

He worshipped her body with his hands, lips and tongue, and also made love to her with his words. When he felt that she was ready he prepared to enter her. Knowing Buffy's sexual history as well as his own, he knew that no condoms would be needed, and he was thrilled at the thought of bare flesh touching bare flesh in this most intimate of caresses. When Buffy began to writhe under him, he realized that he was perhaps being too gentle to satisfy a slayer. "Luv" he said, "when you are fully recovered it will be my most delectable pleasure to fuck you as hard and as long as you wish, but just for now I must be gentle. I would die if I hurt you again!" She looked at him a moment, and then nodded that she was content with his decision.

Giles entered her gently, filling her, and began a gentle, steady thrusting. His hands kneaded her breasts and he rained kisses everywhere he could reach. Within the limits of her current health, Buffy was also no passive partner, stroking, kissing, biting and scratching. As they approached orgasm, Giles entwined his fingers with Buffy's and softly requested her to wait for him so they could go over together, and in this as in so many other things they were in sync, coming with a gentle pleasure that was not one bit less intense for it's gentleness.

As soon as Giles breathing was under control he rolled their bodies, his still buried in Buffy's. He couldn't believe the miracle that was she, and she was his forever now. They gently stroked each other, touching now to relax not stimulate, and as they drifted off to sleep, both knew that they had finally come home. Tomorrow they and their friends would have to begin searching for their enemy, but tonight they had all they had ever needed.

END

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