Title: The Surrogate 2/19
Author: Jacqui
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Buffy, Giles and all other assorted Buffy candies belong to Joss Whedon, WB and ME. Elizabeth, and everything from her world, belongs to me (the real me, not the ‘grr aargh’ ME .
Notes: I know this isn’t B/G yet (well, it is kinda, but not really. Confused yet? but eventually it will be. I’ve got to get past this little thing called ‘plot’ first.

Feedback: Give me a happy. wily_one24@yahoo.com.au Thank you everyone for the positive feedback, this one’s for you.

Elizabeth was aware that everyone in the room was trying not to appear to be staring at her, when in fact they were doing nothing else. Who could blame them, really? She was watching them just as much, it only didn’t look like it because she had four people to stare at, not one. It was eerie.

They’d moved back into the living room, where Buffy and Willow had made themselves at home on the sofa, Xander sat on the floor between them, Rupert paced the floor and Elizabeth sat alone in the chair.

"I think the first thing we should do is contact Anya."

Now there was a name she didn’t know. Everybody else did though and they expected her to, she could tell by the way they didn’t even think twice about it. Not even Rupert, or Giles if that was what he was called here, thought about it as he spoke her name.

"Hey! Why is everyone looking at me?" Xander widened his eyes wide with innocence as everyone did, indeed, look at him. "It’s not like I know where she is."

They kept looking at him, he sighed in defeat.

"She’s in New York."

"Uh, excuse me. Who’s Anya?"

That’s when they all looked at her. In some ways it was good that they’d forgotten her. It meant that they’d automatically accepted her into the group, it was the same with her world. Elizabeth reminded herself to keep a check on reality. She didn’t need to be accepted, she wasn’t going to stay here long enough to need to be accepted. The thought of going home though, to her world without them, was not a happy one. She also knew she couldn’t stay here. Inside her head opposing mind sets battled each other.

"Demon gal, well, ex-demon gal. She’s the one that opened up the original portal, with a little help from yours truly, though I was innocent, I swear, and brought the vampire me through. It figures that she was the one that did it this time, except she’s not here, she’s not even on this side of the country, so it wasn’t her. Which leaves us with nothing."

With that last sentence, Willow had bought herself down from the excited buzz that she’d started with. With the whole monologue, she’d managed to confuse Elizabeth, who paused, blinked, and looked at Giles for clarification.

Giles had to stop himself. He could hardly believe what was happening, and the expressions on Elizabeth’s face were so like Buffy’s, were exactly like hers, that it was unnerving. He had to remind himself that it wasn’t, in fact, Buffy. At least, not the Buffy from this world. Something a little stronger than tea would have been good at that moment.

"It’s a long story, quite amusing now that it’s over, but here’s the short version. Anya was once a vengeance demon, Anyanka…"

"Didn’t she bring vengeance against men who had scorned women, or something?"

Elizabeth was beginning to get used to the shocked looks from everybody when she came forth with information. Of course, she hadn’t begun to really study the demons or the prophecies until after she’d moved in with Rupert. It made sense that this Buffy wouldn’t have either.

"Uh yes." Giles was pleasantly surprised. "That’s the one. She came to Sunnydale in the form of a student to tempt Cordelia with the wish, only her wish was that Buffy had never come to Sunnydale. You can imagine the sort of hell on earth it would have been. Things went wrong, for her at least, and her power center was destroyed, the effects of the wish vanished and she became stuck in her mortal guise."

He paused for breath, Elizabeth still wasn’t really sure how this connected Anya to what was happening here, she wanted him to go on, but she had to clear something up first.

"Cordelia? How was Cordelia a scorned woman?"

The question was directed at Giles, but the questioning glare was given to Xander. Xander looked down, even other reality Buffy’s could make him feel guilty. Willow was heard to cough lightly into her hand.

"That’s a whole other story. Water. Bridge. Let’s continue. Giles?" Xander pleaded with the man.

Giles raised his eyebrows in innocence, but his eyes gleamed with mirth and his cheeks hollowed out in an attempt not to grin. The boy did blush easily. A few moments later he continued the story, telling Elizabeth about Anya’s attempt to retrieve the necklace and how it brought about Vampire Willow.

"This didn’t happen to you, I take it?"

"No." Elizabeth turned to face Xander with a pointed look. "There was never any reason for Cordelia to make a wish from a vengeance demon."

"Okay, okay!" Xander stood up. "We all get it. I’m a bad, bad person, may I rot in hell for all eternity. Can we get back to the point, please?"

"Xander’s right." Although Willow had enjoyed the teasing, it seemed a little cruel to make him squirm for both realities. "If Anya didn’t do it, then we need to figure out what did."

Therein started another night of hard core research. Books were consulted, glared at, mumbled to and laid aside. Elizabeth watched as they all worked, she’d found a way back in the first book she’d read. She’d known where to look, it was one of the first books she’d actually read from Rupert’s spells and incantations collection.

That night floated back to her, it was less than a week after she’d moved in, her own things not fully unpacked yet and she’d gotten bored. They’d been sick of tidying, rearranging and unpacking, Rupert’s television was sorely lacking in little things like color and tuning. He had tried valiantly to entertain her, but eventually she’d picked up the book from his shelf and started to read.

"It’s getting late, I don’t think we’re going to find out anything tonight, why don’t you all come back tomorrow morning?" Giles said, suddenly.

Buffy, Willow and Xander, recognizing blessed dismissal when they heard it, wasted no time in getting to the door, mumbling ‘bye’s and ‘see ya later’s. They turned as one to see Elizabeth standing alone, not sure where to go.

"Ooops, um, you can stay with me, nobody would think twice about Buffy staying at my house."

Elizabeth tried to think up some way to decline without hurting Willow, but exactly how did you tell someone you couldn’t stay with them because even the fact that they are breathing causes you pain? It was a delicate topic. She was saved a decision by Giles, however, was put into a worse one.

"I think it best if Elizabeth stays here. The less people know about her the better, a slayer in this condition is a target."

"I… uh…"

If she couldn’t stay with Willow, there was no way she could stay with Giles. What she wanted to do was go with Xander, stay up all night and talk with him. Just the way she did with her Xander. If she asked, Elizabeth was sure he’d agree, for her, but she wouldn’t. Some things would never be different and something told her that Xander’s home life here was much the same as back there. He would already have offered if he wanted her there.

"It’s okay, you can stay with me. What better place than your own home, right?"

Buffy was getting weird vibes from Elizabeth. She could tell that the prospect of staying with the others didn’t thrill her greatly. Elizabeth nodded gratefully, it wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t a bad solution. She didn’t have the heart to tell Buffy that her home wasn’t with Joyce anymore. Could Joyce still be alive here?

They all said their goodbyes again and made for the door, promising to be bright and early the next morning. Not one of them confused about the fact that their version of bright and early differed dramatically from that of Giles. Willow, worried and nervous, stopped Elizabeth.

"In your world, I’m not a vampire… am I?"

"No. Not a vampire."

She tried really hard to smile reassuringly, but the unspoken words echoed in her head with alarming clarity, ‘you’re not there at all’.

Buffy watched the two, and as she heard the words in her head a sudden wave of emotion washed over her and she knew what was going through Elizabeth’s mind. She knew that the other Willow was dead, that Elizabeth blamed herself and that maybe she didn’t want to know the rest of the story.

* * * *

"Um. Well, this is weird, huh?"

Buffy groaned on the inside, that was like saying the surface of the sun was mildly warm. It was overwhelming to watch Elizabeth, to see certain expressions and movements of hers being made, but as if by someone else. It was difficult to stop herself copying the looks, testing out the feel of them in her own skin.

"Yeah, weird."

Elizabeth was distracted, she was looking around her old room, Buffy’s room. Her hands itched to run themselves over the things she remembered, to explore the things, few as they were, that were alien. It was eerie, the whole night had been eerie and she suspected it could only get worse. Buffy was so similar to her and yet so different.

"So, you stay here and get settled, and I’ll get us a snack, or something."

"It’s okay, really, I’m not hungry." Elizabeth’s stomach chose that moment to growl in what sounded like a rather obscene language, she blushed. Buffy raised her eyebrows and grinned.

"Even if you weren’t me, I’d know what that meant."

She disappeared and Elizabeth found herself looking, she tried not to use the word snooping, through Buffy’s things. A claddaugh ring? Why did that disturb her so much? What did it matter to her whether this Buffy had jewelry or not? It just didn’t feel right. She was shaken out of her reverie by voices floating up the stairs.

"Buffy is that you?"

"And you were expecting who? Ronald McDonald?"

"How was patrol? Find anything exciting?"

"Nothing worth mentioning. Hey, do we have an more sodas?"

"Post slayage snack, huh? Behind the milk."

"Something like that."

"Looks like a feast. How many people have you got up there anyway?"

"What? Nobody, just me."

"Buffy? It’s not Angel is it?"

"No. Trust me Mom, it’s just Buffy up there. There is nobody but me in my room."

"If you say so."

Elizabeth’s knees failed her and she sank to the floor, leaning against the wall. Her breath came hard and painfully, burning her lungs, she pressed her head into the wall as hard as it would go and her hands held the ground as if she were afraid of floating away. A single tear slipped down her cheek. That was how Buffy found her when she came back into the room.

"Elizabeth? What’s wrong?"

"M… Mom?" Her lip trembled.

It was a million times worse then when she’d realized Joyce was alive, it was even worse than seeing Rupert and Willow still alive. Then it had been part of the whole mystical, unbelievable experience, like a dream. Like Dorothy in Oz. Hearing Joyce’s voice nailed home the fact that she could go down those stairs and see her, feel her, smell her alive and breathing. She could hear her laugh, see her smile, tell her that she loved her. She could pretend that it hadn’t been her fault, that it hadn’t been her cowardice, that her dead mother was still alive. And yet it was doubly cruel, because underneath it all, no matter what she wanted, it wouldn’t be her mother, not really.

"Tell me what happened."

Buffy had placed the tray on her bedside table and was kneeling next to Elizabeth. She understood immediately what was wrong, she sensed it somehow and knew that Joyce, like Willow, was dead. She also knew that it would be useless and pointlessly cruel to suggest seeing Joyce. For it was not that woman that she grieved over. What Buffy did know was that, like herself, Elizabeth would not, could not heal without talking. She would keep her pain locked up, ever close, a constant reminder.

"It was… it was the Master."

"The Master?" Buffy echoed, confused.

"There was a prophecy, that…"

"He would rise and we would die."

"You know of it?"

"Yeah. He rose. I died. Xander performed CPR. I rose. The Master paid. I really didn’t enjoy the death part."

So that, Elizabeth pondered, was where our lives began to differ. She looked with a new respect on the girl in front of her. This girl who had had the courage to face her death, to save others, to go forth where she herself had chickened out. She told Buffy the whole story.

The day that she’d learned of her imminent death, she’d knocked Giles out cold to stop him going in her place. She’d stormed into the night like something crazed, but her brain had allowed her a moment of rare clarity and she’d known. Her mind finally revealed what it had kept secret for so long. She’d been unable to go to the Master and die without telling Giles how she really felt.

When she hadn’t gone to him, the Master had sent the anointed one out to find her again, and instead had found Joyce. It hadn’t been pretty. Elizabeth had been too late. She and Giles had gone out to hunt the Master down, had killed him in his little underground church. They’d gone back to the house to clear away the mess, it had been the hardest day of Elizabeth’s life. She and Giles had comforted each other and admitted their feelings. Though the prophecy hadn’t come true for her, Elizabeth felt it had in some ways, because by killing her mother, the Master had killed part of her too.

Buffy stayed silent throughout all of this, a million questions running through her mind, but she let Elizabeth tell the tale. When Elizabeth did fall silent, Buffy asked not the two questions that nagged at her the most, but the most sensible ones.

"How did you manage to stay in Sunnydale? Didn’t dad…? I mean, did he move here?"

"Good old Hank?" Buffy did not miss the derisive tone of voice. "Oh he was most upset. He had to give up almost two weeks of work, the poor man. You know how pesky all those funeral commitments can be. He was too happy to agree to let me stay here under Rupert’s supervision, to make up a bank account specifically for me and shift all the responsibility off himself."

In the back of her mind, Buffy knew she should be disappointed in her father, or at least surprised, but she felt none of those things. It sounded exactly like something that would happen. She knew he’d have been sad, would have grieved in his own way for Joyce, but that the hassle and responsibility of taking in a sixteen year old girl would have been too much.

"When you say that you and Giles, Rupert…?"

Elizabeth smiled. She reached into her pocket and took out her rings. It seemed useless to hide them now. Buffy gaped at them, she recognized Giles’ pinkie ring and the small, beautifully carved emerald ring that had been his grandmother’s. Buffy had found it one day, when she’d been helping Giles with a little cleaning, she had admired it.

"You got married? To Giles? When you were sixteen?"

"No." Elizabeth laughed at the shock on her face. "That night we admitted how we felt, we comforted each other, but we also agreed that it was too early for anything to happen, that it was better if we wait. But from that moment on I called him Rupert and he called me Elizabeth. I lived with him, but nothing happened. We’d only been married for a few months, a few perfect months, since our eighteenth birthday."

Buffy caught the past tense, and once again picked up on the vibes emanating from Elizabeth, but chose to ignore them. It was all too much to take in on one day. Instead she blushed and forced herself to think about other things. Her voice lowered into a whisper.

"So you two…? Is he…?"

"Give me your hand." Buffy obeyed. Elizabeth wanted to try something. She closed her eyes and concentrated. Before too long she heard Buffy gasp.

At first the images Buffy was getting were indistinct and gossamer like half remembered scenes, and then they began to clear and come into focus. She was seeing Elizabeth’s memories. She was feeling the comfort of being in Giles’ arms, the safety he exuded, the warmth he manufactured. She felt loved. Then the memories became more intense and Buffy felt herself redden with embarrassment, but she could not pull away. What she was seeing, what she was feeling, was quite possibly the most erotic thing she had ever known.

"Wow. That was… that was… intense."

Elizabeth sighed, she didn’t want to come out of the fantasy. A memory was all she would have now.

"That was Giles? He did all that?"

"You can’t tell me you haven’t wondered." Elizabeth smiled at the seemingly innocent glance Buffy was giving her. She knew exactly what that expression meant. "You’re me, you’ve more than wondered, I know."

That night Buffy slept peacefully, more so than she had in months, on a makeshift bed on the floor. Elizabeth lay on the bed unable to sleep, staring at the ceiling and thinking about things that she could not change and could not escape.

* * * *

Xander and Willow walked into Giles’ house by ten the next morning. They found Elizabeth and Giles in the living room already poring through books. A large jug of freshly squeezed juice lay next to five glasses on the table.

"Where’s Buffy?"

Elizabeth and Giles sent guilty glances to each other at Willow’s question. Before anything else could be said the sound of running water filtered through the house. Moments later Buffy appeared in the doorway, she looked as if she hadn’t slept for a week. Her face was puffy and her eyes were bloodshot, she was holding her stomach and her face looked a little green.

Xander did the only thing he could think of. He lifted up the box in his hands.

"I bought the donuts. Lots of jellies!"

Buffy managed to glare at him before running off, trying not to gag. Willow looked at Giles for an answer.

"It seems as if Buffy is experiencing her first bout of morning sickness."

"And yet," piped up Elizabeth, "I feel fine for the first morning in two weeks."

Willow stifled a giggle, much the same as Elizabeth, and managed to look sufficiently sympathetic when Buffy reemerged. Xander could not meet her eyes, but wisely hid the box. Giles kept his nose firmly in a book. Buffy groaned and threw herself onto the sofa, she looked squarely at Elizabeth.

"We’re finding you a way home before the due date. I am not going through labor pains for anyone."

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