Title: Repercussions: Tears 4/7
Author: Jadedragon
Email: blm55@bellsouth.net
Paring: Buffy/Giles
Disclaimer: Not mine, Buffy and company belong to Josh, Mutant Enemy and the WB and UPN
Rating: PG 13
Summary: Sequel to Repercussions: Duty. Ritual
Thanks: I want to again thank, Aleta. A wonderful beta, who always makes my stories just that much better with her suggestions and ideas.
Notes: The magickal properties of the herbs and oils mentioned in regard to the ritual come from Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs.

Willow looked at the four people in the room. She had known and trusted Giles for six years, and she had come to trust the other three over the last several days, mostly because Giles trusted them. She even found that she trusted Ethan Rayne. There was something between Ethan and Giles, she wondered what it was, but that was the least of her concerns at the moment. Her life was going to change, drastically within the next few hours.

"Willow, Ellen will take you upstairs to prepare for the ritual which will begin in about an hour. Follow her instructions explicitly in your preparation, then she will led you to the coven's room where the ritual will take place." Bri told her before Ellen took her upstairs.

After Willow and Ellen had left the room, Bri turned to Giles. "I want you to take Buffy and Dawn away from the house during the ritual. Do you know the White Star Inn about 20 kilometers from here?" she asked the Watcher.

"Yes, I stayed there many years ago," he replied.

"Good. I'll make reservations for you; you must leave here within thirty minutes. I'll go inform Buffy and Dawn while you start packing. Ethan, ready the room for the ritual after you have prepared yourself," Bri told them as she left to inform Buffy and Dawn.

********** "Buffy, I want to know what's going on with Willow!" Dawn told her sister. She was tired of sitting in this room not knowing what was happening.

"Dawn, I know, I want to know, too, but we have to wait."

"I don't want to wait," Dawn exclaimed as she walked toward the door to the suite she shared with her sister. Before she could get to the door it opened and Brianna walked in.

"Buffy, you and Dawn need to get your things together. You are leaving with Rupert within the next thirty minutes. The ritual to remove Willow's magick will take place in about an hour and you can't be in the mansion then."

"Why? Can't we help?" Dawn asked her.

"Dawn, this ritual is very complicated and only those of us who are actually taking part will be here. Anyone who doesn't know the ritual and what will be occurring could misunderstand and disrupt it. If the ritual is disrupted at the wrong point, there is a chance that Willow and the rest of us could perish. That is why you, Buffy and Rupert will be leaving. Rupert is leaving in case Willow gets trapped in her mind, he can reach her, but not if he takes part in the ceremony," Brianna tried to explain to the young girl.

"Why are you performing the ritual so soon, I thought you had more research to do?" Buffy asked, concerned for her friend.

"Not five minutes ago, Willow was almost taken over by the dark magicks again, even after the wards were reinforced with the Key's power. We can't let this happen. We must proceed with the ritual immediately. Willow understands and is preparing even as we speak."

"Will she be all right?" Dawn asked in a frightened voice.

"Dawn, I promise that we will do everything in our power to help Willow in everyway that we can. You must get ready to leave quickly. I must go myself and prepare. Rupert will meet you in the drawing room as soon as he gets his things packed."

"Brianna, take care of Willow, she's my best friend. We'll meet Giles downstairs as soon as we can," Buffy assured the seer before she left to prepare for the ceremony.

Buffy and Dawn quickly repacked their duffle bags and were waiting for Giles downstairs when he joined them 15 minutes later. They quickly went to his Land Rover and left for the White Star Inn.

**********

Willow bathed with the lavender oil as she had been instructed. As she bathed, she came to terms with loosing her magick. She was ashamed of her actions and looking back she realized that she should have called Giles the day after Tara had left, as soon as he had a chance to get to his flat in Bath. As she thought about what she had done since Giles had left, she saw several times that she could have reached out to him or even to Tara for help with her addiction to magick, but she had not and now she had to face the magnitude of those decisions.

Willow thought of Tara and the love they had shared. She had never loved anyone as much as she loved Tara. She hadn't even loved Oz as much as she loved Tara. Oz would always have a special place in her heart, he had been her first love and her first lover, but Tara had been part of her soul and that part was missing, the piece not to be found again in this life.

As Willow finished she stepped out of the tub and Ellen wrapped a white linen robe around her and anointed her head and the palms of her hands with sage oil. Willow knew that lavender was for purification and sage was for protection. She realized that she was even now being prepared for the forthcoming ritual, which would take her magick from her forever. She accepted this as part of the price she had to pay for the neglect of her power.

Willow sat quietly as Ellen drew her bath and performed the same cleansing ritual before donning a robe similar to Willow's. She then turned to her to explain about the ritual.

"Willow, I'm to be your focus during the ceremony. This ritual is too complicated to go over in detail with you, but I want you to know that you will not be physically harmed, no matter what you may see. This will be a painful experience for you, but I will help to lessen the pain as much as I can. If at any point you find yourself becoming angry or feel that someone is trying to take over your body like what happened earlier in the drawing room, focus on me. I am to be your guide, your helper throughout this change that you will be going through."

"How long will it take?"

"We don't know; there're too many variables. The ceremony will take place on another plane; it could take 5 hours or 5 days, there is no way to tell."

"You'll be there with me the whole time?"

"Yes, I will be there, right beside you, helping you through the entire experience. We have to leave now, everyone should be here and the ceremony will begin as soon as we enter the room and you take your place."

Ellen led Willow down the staircase to the drawing room and toward the back of the house, near the kitchen. Once there she and Willow went down a stairway to what looked like a dungeon. The room they entered was huge. A large pentagram was inscribed on the floor with a circle surrounding it. There were five wrought iron candleholders, each placed at a point of the pentagram, holding a white pillar candle, which had already been lit.

Willow recognized the fragrance of copal and frankincense in the smoke rising from the censors placed at the foot of each candleholder. She remembered that copal was for purification and frankincense was used to banish evil as well as for protection. A sense of peace came over Willow as Ellen led her to the table, which was in the center of the pentagram where she was instructed to lie down. Once she was on the table, Ellen went to stand at her feet, where Willow could plainly see her and the ritual began.

Brianna and Ethan began chanting in Latin and then they switched to a language that Willow didn't recognize. Willow became dizzy and felt a pulling from within her. She looked up and saw Ethan standing over her with a ceremonial dagger in his hand. He pulled her robe open and made a shallow cut between her breasts. Once the cut was made, Willow saw a dark mist rising from her body through the cut. The mist seemed to go on forever and the pain increased every moment it continued. Willow kept her eyes on Ellen, tears streaming down both of their faces; the pain was so extreme that she thought she was losing her mind. It seemed like the dark mist had been leaving her body forever when it finally changed color. It now was a soft green, and Willow felt such grief watching it leave her body, she felt so alone and lost, then she realized that the green mist was her magick and it was being taken from her because of her own thoughtless actions. The dark mist had just risen and dissipated, while the green divided itself and entered each of the eight people in the room, one person at each point of the pentagram, Brianna and Ethan standing on either side of her and Ellen standing at her feet. When the green mist stopped, Willow lost unconsciousness.

**********

Giles, Buffy and Dawn were soon at the White Star Inn and quickly registered. Once in their rooms, Dawn asked if she could go and visit the few shops that were near the inn. Buffy, after discussing it with Giles, gave her permission. < Now I can have a talk with Giles about Ethan. >

"Giles, why is Ethan here?"

Giles knew that this conversation would happen soon or later, but was not prepared for what he had to tell her. < I hope she'll understand and not hate me for my past. >

"Buffy, to explain I have to tell you more about my past, my Ripper days, as it were." Giles looked at Buffy who nodded for him to continue. "When I left Oxford and the Watchers I was adrift, not knowing what to do with my life and wanting to rebel against everything that Oxford, the Watchers and my father stood for. I met Ethan soon after I arrived in London and his dark magick drew me to him. Soon we were practicing the dark arts together, and we also became lovers." Giles looked up, expecting to see hatred in her eyes, but found only concern.

"Is that why he's back, you're lovers again?" she asked in a soft voice.

"No. I never really loved Ethan that way, though he loved me very deeply and still does. I was only with him to hurt my father, but the one I really hurt was Ethan. That's why he kept trying to make `Ripper' come out. He wanted his lover to return to him, and he knew that Rupert didn't love him, not as a lover anyway. Ethan wanted more than I had to give him and it hurt our friendship. Then a couple of years ago, as he watched Brianna deal with Renee's death and trying to live without her life partner, he realized that all love is precious and was finally willing to just be my friend," tears were falling from his eyes as he continued. "Buffy, I hurt him so badly, but he forgave me and renewed our friendship. We are very close friends now, and I want you to get to know the man that he has become. He has changed a great deal since he joined Brianna in her work with the coven here in Devon and stopped dealing with dark magicks." He finished, tears trailing down his cheeks.

"Giles, don't cry," she begged him as she took him into her arms to comfort the man she loved.

"I just feel so guilty that I couldn't love him like he wanted me to," Buffy held her Watcher as he let out the pain and guilt that he had felt for far too long. "Is there some else you love? Is that why you can't love Ethan?"

"Yes," he admitted in a soft voice.

"Have you told him?"

"It's not a him, it's a her," Giles admitted, his voice sounding panicky.

"Oh, well, have you told her?"

"No, she doesn't see me that way."

"Are you sure? How can you know until you talk with her? Giles you're a wonderful man and I can't see why any woman wouldn't want you in her life."

"I'm in her life, but only as a friend, nothing more."

"Take a chance and tell her!" she told him wanting him to be happy, even if it was with another woman.

Giles looked at the women he loved and knew with her tenacity, she wouldn't stop until he had done what she felt he needed to do. He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes.

"I'm telling her now," he said watching for her reaction.

Buffy's eyes opened in surprise. < He loves me! >

When she didn't say anything, he continued. "I now know how Ethan felt, that's why I feel such guilt at not being able to return his love. Buffy, I do love you, but I won't force my feelings on you. Your friendship means so much to me…"

Before Giles could finish what he was saying Buffy pulled his head down and kissed him with more passion than she had ever felt. "I love you, too, Giles," she told him before she kissed him again, only this time he returned her kiss with as much passion as she had shown him.

**********

Willow looked around her at the barren landscape. Where was she? She felt at peace, the pain of the ceremony gone. She felt lightness, like all her worries had been lifted from her. She felt pulled toward a doorway filled with light, which was about a hundred yards in front of her. As she made her way toward it a voice called out for her to stop.

"Willow, stop. You have to go back. They need you."

Willow stopped. It was Tara's voice she was hearing. Slowly she turned around and there before her was Tara.

"Tara," Willow ran toward her lover. "Tara, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't know."

"Shh. I know." Tara told her lover as she comforted her. "I understand now, but Willow its not your time. You have so much more to accomplish, so many people to help."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, tears falling from her eyes.

"Willow, you have to return. You can't stay here."

"But I want to be with you, I love you Tara, I can't live without you."

"Yes, Willow you can and you must. I love you to, I always will. You were the only person I ever loved, but you have more to accomplish with your life before we can be together again. I'll wait for you, but you must promise me one thing before you go back."

"Anything, Tara."

"Don't be alone, find someone to love and be happy."

"Tara how can I do that? You're the person I love."

"Willow you have so much love to give, there is someone waiting for you, someone you will love who will give that same love back to you. Willow you've loved Oz and you've loved me. You can love again, and you will, in time. Keep your mind open for the possibilities, love is precious and no one can have too much. Remember that," Tara told her as she faded from view.

Willow reached out to try and stop Tara from leaving but there was nothing there, just the memories of their conversation. Willow drifted into unconsciousness again.

**********

Dawn had enjoyed browsing through the stores near the inn. She had been thinking of Willow most of the afternoon and prayed that she would come through the ritual all right. Dawn was still thinking of Willow as she entered the room she would be sharing with Buffy and saw Buffy and Giles in a very passionate embrace. Dawn was shocked at first, but then she realized that this meant that Giles would definitely be returning to Sunnydale. She slowly backed out of the room, not wanting to disturb them, but she tripped over the strap from her duffle bag and fell interrupting them anyway.

"Dawn, are you okay?" Buffy asked her sister as she rushed to help her to stand.

"I'm fine, a total klutz, but fine," she replied upset with herself that she had interrupted Buffy and Giles. "I was trying to leave again so you and Giles could be alone."

"You're not upset about me and Giles?" Buffy asked her, Giles moving to stand beside the woman he loved, taking her hand in his.

"Are you kidding? Now he has to come back to Sunnydale!" Dawn exclaimed. "Everything went to shit…ah, hell after he left."

"Watch your language young lady, or you will be swimming back to Sunnydale," Giles teased the young girl. "Now, I think its time for some dinner."

They headed downstairs for dinner, Buffy and Giles lost in the feelings of new love, Dawn happy about Giles moving back to Sunnydale and all thinking about Willow.

**********

The ceremony had only taken four and a half hours. Ethan had carried Willow back up stairs where Ellen and Bri put the former witch to bed. Ellen stayed with her, knowing that someone had to be with her when she woke up. They didn't know how long she would sleep, but she was alive. Ethan called the Inn to tell Rupert about the outcome of the ceremony but Buffy picked up the phone.

"Hello," Buffy answered.

"Buffy, it's Ethan. The ceremony's over and Willow's sleeping."

"Is she okay?"

"We won't know until she wakes up. Where's Rupert? I thought I called his room."

"You did. He's in the bathroom. Should I get him?"

"No. Did you two finally work things out?" Ethan asked, hoping that Rupert had finally admitted his feelings to his Slayer.

"Yes, we're still talking, making plans, deciding what to do once we get back to Sunnydale," she told Giles former lover.

"Buffy, promise me one thing?" Ethan asked.

"What?"

"Just love him like he needs to be loved. He's been alone too long," Ethan told her, his voice breaking.

"So have you Ethan."

"He told you?" he asked, surprised at this revelation.

"Yes. Ethan do you have anyone in your life?"

"Not at the moment. But I'm always looking. Buffy, I'm beat from the ritual, tell Rupert that everything went well and I'll talk with him in the morning."

"Okay. Thanks, Ethan."

"Your welcome, Buffy."

Buffy was still thinking about the conversation with Ethan when Giles returned from the shower, his hair still wet.

"Giles, Ethan called. Willow came through the ceremony and is sleeping. He'll call back in the morning with more details. He said that they wouldn't know if she is all right until she wakes up."

"I'm glad to hear that. But what else did you talk about?" he asked sensing that something else had been said.

"He asked if we had finally worked things out and I told him we had. Giles, I can't believe that I had a civil conversation with Ethan Rayne and I felt sorry for him at the end of it."

"Why would you feel sorry for Ethan?" he asked in confusion.

"Because he still loves you and he is alone. I know how it feels to be alone," she told him, tears shining in her eyes.

"Do you want me to go back to Ethan?" he asked as he took her into his arms.

"No, of course not, I just feel sorry that he's alone. I never thought I would feel sorry for Ethan Rayne."

"Buffy, he's not such a bad man. He's changed a lot since Brianna lost Renee. It hit him almost as hard as it hit Brianna. He and Bri have always been very close. But enough of Ethan, I want to talk about us."

"Shouldn't we tell Dawn and call Xander and Anya?"

Giles broke away from the woman he loved and looked at her. "I'd rather spend the time with you, but let's go to your room and tell Dawn then I guess we should call and let Xander and Anya know the outcome of the ceremony," he admitted.

Dawn was relieved to hear that Willow had come through the ceremony alive. She just hoped that she would be all right when she woke up.

**********

Xander heard the phone ringing and finally reached it on the third ring.

"Hello?" he muttered into the line as he looked at the time, 3:30 a.m. He and Anya had finished moving her back in and had been in bed for only thirty minutes before the phone rang.

"Xander, it's Giles. The ritual is over."

Xander was immediately awake. "Anya, wake up. It's Giles. How's Willow?"

"Ethan just called to tell us the ceremony is over. Willow survived it and is sleeping. We won't know if she's okay until she wakes up."

"Tell him to call back in the morning. I need my beauty sleep!" Anya mumbled in the background.

"Giles, that's good news. When will she wake up? Anya, be quiet!"

"Xander, should I call back later?" Giles asked, realizing that their relationship had gotten back on the right track.

"No, I'm glad to hear from you. We started the work on the shop today. Anya saved everything but the kitchen sink to sell when it reopens."

"I'm amazed that you were able to salvage anything. Xander I'll call you back when Willow wakes up. You and Anya have a goodnight and I'll talk with you later."

"Okay, bye Giles."

"Bye Xander. I call back when I have more news," he promised as he hung up the phone.

"Was Anya with Xander at his apartment?" Dawn asked.

"Yes, I appeared to have awakened them."

"Giles you've been back in our lives less than a week and all ready things are getting better!" Dawn yelled as she hugged the Watcher within an inch of his life.

**********

Giles awoke with Buffy in his embrace; they had talked until they had fallen asleep on his bed, both, still fully dressed. He still couldn't believe his fortune. Buffy loved him and was planning on him living with her in Sunnydale once he returned. He realized that they would be returning to the mansion today and wanted to spend as much time with Buffy as possible, but the still needed to test Dawn and see just what her abilities were. Bri had a small gym in her home and they could start there then continue with weapons outside in the garden. He was still planning the day when his phone rang. He grabbed it quickly before it woke Buffy up.

"Hello?"

"Ripper, we've heard from the Court. Bri wants you to come back here and as soon as Willow awakens she'll tell us what they decided."

"We'll be there within the hour."

"See you then."

As soon as he hung up the phone, he woke Buffy."

"Ethan just called. The Court has made a decision about Willow!"

NEXT