Title: Repercussions: Within 6/7
Author: Jadedragon
Email: blm55@bellsouth.net
Pairing: B/G, X/A
Spoiler: Grave
Disclaimer: Not mine, Buffy and company belong to Josh, Mutant Enemy and the WB and UPN
Rating: R, Graphic violence
Summary: Sequel to Repercussions: Waiting. Giles and Xander try to reach Willow.
Thanks: I want to again thank, Aleta. A wonderful beta, who always makes my stories just that much better with her suggestions and ideas.
Warning: Character attempts suicide in different ways.

"She's trapped in her mind." Brianna answered.

"What do we do now?" Dawn asked in a panic.

"Dawn, calm down. We have to be calm to have a chance to reach Willow." Giles told her. "Brianna, is her mind clear enough for me to try to reach her?"

"Rupert, at the moment, her mind is in such turmoil at the moment that you'd be lost if you attempted it. Her mind is filled with pain and guilt beyond what you could tolerate. If you tried, you would be pulled in too. We have to wait for her to calm down. Give the sedative a chance to work and maybe you will be able to attempt to reach her then."

"When I was trapped, Willow immediately was able to try and contact me. Why can't you do something now?" Buffy demanded.

"Buffy, you are not a witch. Willow is or rather was, a very powerful one. Her mind is in turmoil trying to find the magick that has always been there and trying to also cope with the pain of the removal of that magick. If Rupert tried to enter her mind at this moment he would come in contact with this turmoil and he would be lost. We must wait for the turbulence in her mind to subside," Brianna told the Slayer.

"How long will that take?" she queried in return.

"Several hours to several days, as soon as she is calm enough, Rupert will attempt to enter her mind to help her return."

"So, we wait again?"

"We wait again." Brianna confirmed.

Mary began examining her patient as she ordered everyone back to bed. Buffy and Dawn started to argue, but Giles took both by the arm and led them to the room he was now sharing with Buffy.

**********

She was still on the barren plain, only this time there was no door with light streaming from it to guide her. She felt all alone, except for the pain, the excruciating pain. The burning flame of pain that was her entire being, she couldn't think for the totality of pain she was experiencing. There was no beginning and no ending to the throbbing ache that was her existence.

There was the physical pain that seared her flesh, burning her to the bone, only for her body to recover and the searing pain begin anew. There was the grief for her lost love, the unending anguish that she felt to her soul, which had been torn asunder by her lover's death. There were the scenes of the man she had tortured and murdered because he had held the gun, which had caused her lover's death, the image of the skin being ripped from his body forever tormenting her. There was the scene of another man or was he a demon, suspended in mid air where she had thrown him after she had stolen his magick and life force, leaving him dead, too. Worst, there were the expressions on her friends' faces as she betrayed them, one by one to gain the power her body craved with every breath that she took. She had betrayed everyone, herself included, in her mad yearning for more and more power.

But mostly, there was the emptiness where her magick should be. She searched and searched but could not find that lost part of her being. Her magick was not where it should be and this endless seeking for something that clearly was no longer with her, was as painful as the physical and mental torture she was enduring. There was no end in sight for her; the constant searching, the unrelenting misery, the searing wounds, she was indeed in Hell and would remain there for the rest of eternity.

**********

Acathla looked inside the mind of the witch he had cursed. There was no reason to punish her; she was doing a better job of than he could. She felt such guilt at killing her lover's murderer and betraying her friends. He realized that there was no way that she could now carry out his vengeance, her magick had been removed, also it appeared that she was now quite insane and of no further use to him. He would have to find another to complete his retaliation on the world that had imprisoned him so long ago. He knew that it would probably be centuries before another soul with such a potential for power came into a position that he could manipulate for his revenge, but he was a patient demon and the body of the Hell God was immortal. He would wait.

**********

The next morning, Willow was calmer, but Brianna wanted to wait until that afternoon before Rupert tried to enter her mind and retrieve her from her nightmares. Ethan and Rupert prepared what would be needed for the spell they would be using. It was very different from the spell Willow had used to reach Buffy and required some personal items of Willow's. Buffy was sent with Brianna to retrieve what was needed from Buffy's home.

"Bri, what exactly do you need?" Buffy asked the seer as they entered the room Willow had shared with Tara on Revello Drive.

"I need something that would signify to Willow, her love for Tara, her love for you and your sister, her love for Rupert, her love for Xander. Anything that would help her to realize that she is needed and wanted. Buffy, we have to make her want to come back."

Buffy looked around the room trying to think of objects that would mean love to Willow. She spotted a blue sweater with flowers embroidered on it that she had seen both Tara and Willow wear. She then thought of the picture of the original Scooby gang that was downstairs. Buffy was trying to think of anything else that would signify the love that they all shared for Willow, when she heard a sound on the staircase. She went to the hallway and attacked Xander at the same time that he attacked her. They let each other up as Brianna came to the doorway.

"Buff, I thought you were still in England?" Xander started.

"We needed some things from here. Xander, this is Brianna, the seer and high priestess of the Devon Coven."

"It is an honor to meet the man who saved us. Your love for your friend is overwhelming," Brianna, conveyed her feelings to the young man who had single-handedly saved the world. "Xander, have you ever thought to visit my fair country?" she asked, realizing that she needed him to accompany them back to Devon.

"I've known Willow, forever. She's my best friend. It was nothing." He minimized his efforts to save Willow.

"No, it was much more than nothing. If not for you, we would not be here. Xander, Willow is trapped in her mind and we are here to gather items to make her realize that she is wanted and needed, here on this plane. Could you possibly accompany us back to England? I can see that Willow will come to you if we can't reach her through Giles."

"You want me to go to England with you?" he asked in shock.

"Yes. Your help may be needed to reach Willow." Brianna confirmed.

"What about the shop? I'm supervising it's rebuilding?" Xander asked in astonishment.

"Don't you have someone who can supervise in your absence?" Brianna asked him.

"Yes, but what about Anya. I can't leave her, we just got things worked out!"

"Xand, Anya can teleport when she finishes at the shop. Remember, she's a demon now!" Buffy reminded her friend.

"Right. I still have to go back there to leave instructions with Jeb, he's my second and to tell Anya what's happening."

"Xander, take this pendant and after you have accomplished your errands and are ready to follow us, place it around your neck and think of Willow. I will hear you and open the vortex for you to come and help us. I would suggest that, you bring some clothes with you, this might take several days." Brianna told the young man, as she handed him the pendant from around her neck.

"Right, I'll go the Magic Box, tell Jeb and Anya then go home and pack. Then I put the pendant on and think of Willow. There's no place like home! There's no place like home!" Xander finished, thinking that he was in a strange version of Xander in Hellmouth Land.

"Xander, this is not a time to joke," Buffy began.

"Buff, I know that. I just never expected to see England, much less to get there without a plane. It's a little mind blowing."

"Xander, we'll be leaving in a few minutes. I suggest that you take care of business as soon as possible. Rupert will need to discuss the spell that will be used to help Willow. I'll be waiting for your `call'." Brianna turned back to Willow's room to pick up the sweater that Buffy had pointed out while Buffy went to retrieve several photos and to lock the door behind Xander. Soon, the house on Revello drive was again empty.

**********

At lunch, Ethan and Giles still had their heads together discussing different scenarios of what might be happening within Willow's mind. They had been in conference all morning and neither had talked with Bri or Buffy, so both were shocked when Xander Harris entered the dining room with Bri, who looked very pale and drawn.

"Bri, what have you done?" Ethan asked helping his sister to a chair before she fell down. "You teleported all three of you? Why didn't you ask for help? Why did you overburden yourself?" he asked, worry clear on his face.

"I teleported Xander just now, he had some things to take care of before he could come. We'll need him to reach Willow. He has to bond with Rupert and both enter Willow's mind," she explained to her brother.

Xander looked at the scene before him. "Giles, why the hell is Ethan Rayne here and why is he fawning over Brianna?" he asked of his friend.

"Xander, Ethan is Brianna's brother and she has overextended herself by teleporting you without any help." Giles told Xander as Ethan picked up his sister and carried her out of the room.

"You're working with Ethan Rayne! Buffy almost killed you because of him!"

"Xander, calm down. Ethan has changed and he has helped us ever since we got here," Buffy explained as she entered the room, sweating and in workout clothing.

"You're defending Ethan Rayne?" he asked in puzzlement.

"Yes, believe it or not. I understand why he did the things he did. Not that I agree with his methods, I understand, now."

"Why? What happened?" he asked in total disbelief.

"That's not my story to tell. You'll have to ask him. Xander do you trust me?"

"Buffy, I trust you with my life, you know that."

"Then believe me when I say that you can trust Ethan. He has changed from the man that we knew." Buffy assured him.

"I would never have believed it if I hadn't heard it with my own ears!" Xander replied.

"Can we now get to work on helping bring Willow back?" Giles asked Buffy and Xander.

"Sorry, love," Buffy replied, giving Giles a brief kiss on the cheek. "I'm headed for the shower. I'm stinky Buffy after that workout with Dawn."

"I'll talk with you later about her progress," Giles told her as he turned to an astonished Xander whose mouth was open in incredulity.

"You finally admitted your love for her?" Xander asked him.

"Yes, and she for me." He told his friend with a secret smile on his face. "Xander I need to explain what your part in this entails. Can you trust me…"

"Giles of course I trust you," Xander replied before Giles could complete his question.

"But can you trust Ethan?"

"Would you trust him?"

"With my very life."

"If you and Buffy both trust him, that's good enough for me." Xander said.

"Good, because Xander he will be sharing his magickal abilities with you so you may join me in entering Willow's nightmares to bring her back. You must concentrate on me and Willow in order to help me help her. Xander, she could be trapped in any of several types of fantasies of her own creation; by her guilt, the pain of losing her magick, or the pain of betraying us. These are the three basic fantasies that Ethan and I have surmised, or it could be something Willow has never shared with anyone or a combination of all four. You know her better than anyone and your knowledge of her will help me to determine how best to reach her." Giles explained to the young man.

"Giles, I promised Willow I would help in whatever way I could. When do we start?"

"As soon as Ethan gets back. He took Bri to put her to bed. She was totally drained from all the transporting. Once Ethan has loaned his magick to you, we will go to Willow's room. When we get there, I will perform a binding ritual to bond you to me before we start trying to draw her back to us." Giles informed him. "Xander have you eaten?"

"No." he answered in confusion, wondering why Giles had asked that.

"You need to eat. Magick takes a lot of energy and we don't know how long it will take us." Giles told him as he turned to leave Xander alone in the dining room.

Xander went to the sideboard and fixed him a plate. Everything looked and smelled wonderful. He certainly didn't have to be told twice to eat.

**********

She looked at the bloody gore covering her hands and the knife she held. At her feet were her intestines and other internal organs, blood still dripping from the gaping hole she had cut into her stomach. She was becoming light headed from blood loss. This time she would die.

Then she was standing whole again, head clear.

`NOOOOOO!" she screamed in agony.

Again she stabbed at herself, ripping into her flesh, cutting away the flesh that gave her life, the flesh that had killed, the flesh that had betrayed. She had to die for what she had done.

Again she stood holding a bloody knife, bits of flesh hanging from it, and again she was made whole. She dropped the knife onto the mass of tissue she had cut from her body and ran screaming into the darkness that surrounded her. < Run she had to run. She had to find a way to end her torment. >

**********

Xander sat very still while Ethan held his head, transferring the use of his magick to him for the time he would be helping Giles attempt to rescue Willow.

"Xander, to use my magick, you just have to think of what you want done. You will be in a dream world and my magick will give your thoughts `life' as it were. If you want a glass of water, think of it and it will appear. Rupert and I thought that would be the easiest and simplest way to imbue you with my powers. But be careful what you think of. You're not accustomed to magick and you could get into trouble quickly if you're not vigilant. Listen carefully to Rupert, he will guide you," Ethan explained to Xander

Xander felt strange, stronger but not on a physical level, on a mental one. He realized that he was getting a small taste of power and he understood how Willow had been seduced by the feelings of such power. He would stay close to Giles and listen to him very diligently.

"Ethan, thank you for the loan of your magick to help Willow," Xander told the sorcerer. He then turned to Giles. "So when do we start?"

"Immediately." Giles told him as he led Xander upstairs to Willow's room. Giles performed the ritual to bind Xander to him for the duration of their search for Willow. Once the spell was completed they saw two comfortable chairs placed by Willow's bedside, one beside the other. Giles sat in the chair nearest to Willow and motioned for Xander to the one next to his. A woman Xander hadn't met before, placed candles around them and Willow, lighting them while chanting something that Xander couldn't understand. Once the circle of candles was lit, Giles took Xander's left hand in his right and placed his left hand on Willow's forehead.

Xander found that he and Giles were now standing on a rocky surface covered in entrails and gore. <Willow, > somehow he knew that these were Willow's entrails, but there was so much, more than one human body could possibly contain. The area was literally covered. He felt like he was going to be sick.

"Xander, it's alright." Giles waved his hand over the entrails and they were gone. "It was part of her nightmare. It appears that she is trying to kill herself to end the anguish she must be going through."

"Can we stop her?" he asked in panic.

"That's what we're here for. Where is Willow?"

Xander looked at his friend in confusion.

"Xander all you have to do is think `where is Willow?' and we will be taken to her. Don't forget you have magick while we're here." Giles reminded him.

Xander thought of Willow and wanting to find her, then they were in a cavern at the foot of a hundred foot drop, a battered body almost covered in boulders. Xander ran and tried to move the huge boulders to get to Willow.

"Xander, use the magick, think of the boulders being gone." Giles instructed.

Xander reached out with his mind and the boulders disappeared, leaving the small crushed body lying at their feet. Xander bent down to touch Willow, remembering that he was in her nightmare and his Willow was still alive. The body became whole while they watched.

"NOOOOO!" she screamed and pushed past them, running from the open cavern.

Xander started to rush after her when Giles stopped him. "Don't waste your physical energy. Use the magick to find her.

Again he thought of Willow and they were transported to another part of the caverns Willow was using to punish herself. When they materialized Willow was not in site. They saw was a huge underground lake, a narrow waterfall feeding it cascading down the rocks on their left. The scene was very peaceful, too peaceful. Giles and Xander both knew that somewhere Willow was again trying to take her life in yet another way.

**********

Mary went to check on Bri. She had known the seer ever since they had met when they were 10 and had become fast friends. They had done everything together and were inseparable. Three years later they met Renee and they were soon called the `Three Musketeers", always getting into some mischief or the other, especially after Bri and Renee had begun understanding the powers they had been blessed with. Mary, while having no mystic or psychic powers, had healing abilities and was drawn to helping people. It was no surprise when she decided to become a nurse. It was after she left for nursing school that Bri and Renee had begun to realize that they felt more for each other than simple friendship. Both were afraid that Mary wouldn't understand their feelings for each other, but they should never have worried. When Mary came home for the summer break, she had accepted the change in their relationship and had continued to pal around with them like nothing had happened, their friendship still as solid as it had ever been.

Bri and Renee had been her Maids of Honor when she had married Michael Portsmith and later godmothers to their children. When Bri and Renee held their hand fasting, they had asked Mary and Michael to be one of the couples to stand with them as they pledged their love for each other. Then when Renee had been killed, Mary had helped her friend to hang on to life when all she wanted to do was give up and be with Renee.

Mary looked at her best friend, sleeping in the same room where she and Renee had been so happy. Mary had asked her once why she stayed in the same room and Bri had told her that she felt closer the Renee in the room that they had shared. She knew that something was bothering Bri, but wasn't sure what it was. She would wait for Bri to wake up and try and get her to talk.

**********

She looked up to where the waterfall hit the surface, forming a turbulence, which mirrored the turbulence in her soul, the turbulence, she had created with the misuse of her magick, the turbulence which caused her friends to abandon her.

She felt the lack of oxygen in her body, getting dizzy when something broke the surface and pulled her up, away from the peaceful serenity of death.

********** Giles helped Xander pull Willow to the shore of the lake and as she lay on the sandy shore, took a great gasp of air and became conscious again.

"Why won't you let me die? I betrayed everything I ever believed in!" she cried.

"Willow we need you. You have to live." Xander told her as she pulled from his grasp and ran from them.

Xander tried to get up and realized that he was weak.

"I told you use the magick, not do things physically. You've been weakened by your physical rescue of Willow. You must use the magick that has been loaned to you in this reality. Physical actions will weaken you very quickly." Giles explained to Xander. "We will have to wait for you to recover until we can continue to track her."

"How stupid could I have been?"

"Xander, calm down. The more emotional you get, the longer it will take to recover. Sit quietly and you should be ok in about five minutes."

"But…"

"Sit quietly." Giles admonished him as he sat beside him and looked out over the lake, listening to the sounds of the waterfall and the water lapping at the shore.

**********

The heat was crushing. She could barely move through the waves of suffocating temperatures but she was determined to throw herself into the lava. Slowly she made her way toward what she hoped was the oblivion she was seeking. She would relieve her torment with the blessed void, finally sleep in the void that was death, leave the pain of living and embrace the void of forever.

She felt the heat of the lava searing her flesh, burning her bones to a cinder, burning her life and memories away.

**********

Xander pulled what was left of his friend from the lava with the magic that Ethan had loaned him. He then transported the three of them back to the lakeshore where it was cooler. He looked at the burned body in his arms as the body restored itself. Even though he knew that this was Willow's nightmare, it scared him that she would try so hard and in so many violent ways to end her life. Xander and Giles both sent Willow all the love and hope they could. Giles placed in Willow's mind the images of the pictures that had been brought back from Sunnydale, reassuring her that she was still wanted and needed. Xander wrapped her in the sweater that she and Tara had both worn. Their love and the love of the rest of the Scooby gang surrounded the former witch.

She felt love and warmth. Not the searing pain of fire or lava, but the warmth of human affection that she never thought to have again. She saw the people who had been her friends reaching out to her to help bring her back, needing her. Why would they need her?

Xander felt her move slightly in his arms. "Willow, wake up. Willow!" he pleaded.

"Willow, we're here. Xander and I are here to help you get back. Please wake up." Giles added his plea to Xander's.

"Willow, I won't leave you. I promised you I would help you no matter what. You have to live for me to keep my promise," he begged as she started coming around. Xander thought to keep her in his arms so she wouldn't run away again.

"Why can't I move?" she asked as she struggled trying to get out of Xander's arms.

"Willow, we're here to help you. You're trapped in your nightmares. Let Xander and I help you come back to the people who love you," Giles added.

"How can you love me? I betrayed all of you!"

"Will, it was not the real you. Remember I told you that before," Xander reminded his friend.

"Xander, how did you get here?"

"Will, I'm borrowing Ethan's magic to help you."

"Xander be careful, don't let it take control," she told him in a panic.

"Will, don't worry. Giles is keeping an eye on me, and helping me while I'm here. I'll be more than ready to give this power back to Ethan. I have no desire for more magick in my life, a demon lover is enough magick for me."

"You're really here?" she asked looking from Xander to Giles.

"Yes, Willow, we are really here. You were trapped and we came to help you realize how much you are wanted, needed and loved," Giles guaranteed her.

"It's just so hard."

"Willow, life usually is, but you have all of us to help you. We've all made mistakes and had to pay the price for those mistakes, but we have learned from them and became better people. You will, too. Please come back with us." Giles again pleaded.

"You'll both help?"

"Willow, I've already promised that I would do whatever I could to help. Hell, I even let Ethan Rayne give me his magick so I could get into your head!" Xander told her. < I still can't believe that I did that! >

"How do I get back?" she asked in a small scared voice.

"Willow, all you have to do is wake up." Giles told her.

**********

Giles and Xander slowly awoke as the image of the lakeshore faded from their consciousness. As they became aware, they noticed that Willow was slowly moving, opening her eyes.

"Xander?" she called in a small, lost voice.

"I'm here Will," he answered her.

"Where am I?" she asked.

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