Title: Everything Old is New Again
Author: Jessie
Summary: Buffy starts over younger, but a lot wiser.
Rating: Each section will be rated separately. This section is rated PG.
Spoilers: Everything through Season 6. AU after that.
Disclaimer: Not mine. It all belongs to ME and Joss.
Feedback: Please
Pairing: B/G Friendship. Future romance.
Author's notes: Joss said Season 7 would return to the beginning. Since he didn’t, U did.
A very special thank you to Giles Fan for her incredible editing expertise.

Buffy leaned against the wall and let the sound of her sister's cheerful voice wash over her.

"... and Ms. Carson, she's our science teacher, said that next week we're going on a field trip to the zoo." Buffy watched Dawn pause long enough to stuff half a slice of pizza in her mouth. "Which is kinda lame, but still way better than dissecting frogs."

Buffy sighed and closed her eyes. Maybe the welcome home party for Willow hadn't been such a good idea. Willow had barely spoken a word, Xander and Anya weren't speaking at all, and Dawn was chattering with the enthusiasm of a shopping channel hostess.

Who could have ever guessed her sister would love high school?

The new building was great. Her friends were great. The teachers were great. Even cafeteria food was great. Just the sound of the word 'great' was beginning to make Buffy's fingers itch for a stake.

She acknowledged that part of her annoyance was simple, old-fashioned jealousy. The majority of her memories of high school were bleak. Mostly she remembered all the bad choices she'd made. The way she had hurt so many people with those choices. Right at the top of the list was her Watcher.

She wished Giles had come back with Willow. She understood why his Council work made it necessary to stay in England, but it still hurt to have him so far away.

Something had been missing from the Watcher/Slayer bond after Willow brought her back from the grave. She'd felt the absence, but hadn't know how tell Giles about it or what to do to get it back.

But after Tara was killed, when the whole world was going to hell around her, and Giles had shown up at the Magic Box and enclosed her in his arms, she'd felt the bond return. For just a moment, everything else had faded into insignificance.

Willow was still trying to end the world, her relationship with Dawn was in tatters and the debacle of her relationship with Spike hung over her like a dark cloud, but none of it mattered. She'd felt complete.

After a year of feeling nothing, it was good to finally feel something. Even if that something was the realization that a Slayer needed her Watcher the same way she needed food or air. That without him, her spirit would wither and die.

If only she could ....

"Your sister is irritatingly perky this evening."

Buffy opened her eyes and looked at Anya. The once-again vengeance demon was watching Dawn with disturbing intensity.

"I don't remember high school being all wonderful and happy," Anya complained, continuing to study Dawn. "It was an awful time filled with uncertainties, emotional turmoil and exceptionally bad hair and fashion choices."

Buffy followed Anya's gaze to where her sister was chattering happily to Xander about the 'great' new library. She wondered if it was a sign of another approaching apocalypse that she actually agreed with Anya. "At least one of us will be able to look back at high school and say they enjoyed it."

Anya switched her attention to Buffy, gazing at her steadily. "Explain."

"I was just remembering when I first came to Sunnydale." Buffy paused, trying to think it through. "I just wish I could go back and do it all over, knowing the things I do now."

Without hesitation Anya clasped her hand around her necklace. Suddenly, her face shifted and altered, veins erupting under the skin. A slight smiled curved her lips as she whispered, "Wish granted."

Buffy felt the air around her shimmer. For a moment she was in total darkness, then with jarring abruptness there was light.

She was in the old library. Standing in front of her dressed in tweed and wearing a slight frown was her Watcher. On the counter between them was a book.

"Vampyr."

She tried to remain calm as she sorted through what had happened.

Anya.

Vengeance demon.

Wish.

Ohmigod.

Her heart began to beat in a jerky rhythm and her head started pounding. It was exactly what she had been thinking about. Here was her chance to erase all the stupid, hurtful things she'd done in the past and start over. No one - not Giles, or her mother, or even her friends would ever have to know how much she'd screwed up.

She realized Giles was still watching her, waiting for her to speak. She stared back, seeing him with the knowledge of six years of shared history. She could still sense the restrained energy she had come to recognize as an integral part of him, but it was completely restrained - leashed by the iron chains of Council rules and buried under layers of tweed.

She continued to stare. His face was stern, but his eyes were anxious. Back then, the first time they'd met, she had been too young to realize how important this was to him. How much he believed in what he was doing. How willing he was to put aside his own desires and needs for the greater good of others.

This time, she could make him proud of her. Give him the kind of Slayer he deserved.

Suddenly, she felt a chill. What was she thinking? Here she was with the opportunity to avoid past mistakes, and she was about to repeat what had been the biggest mistake of all. Lying to Giles.

Maybe instead of trying to go back and repair the past, she should concentrate on the future. Perhaps it was time to be a grown-up, even if she was housed in a teen-aged body.

She leaned forward and rested her hands on the edge of the counter. "There's something I need to tell you."

********

Rupert Giles knew when he accepted the job of Watcher to an untrained Slayer in California that there would be difficulties. He had carefully weighed and considered methods for dealing with problems related to cultural differences, age differences, background and educational differences.

What he hadn't considered were options for dealing with a Slayer who was stark raving mad.

He had just spent the last hour in his office listening to her ridiculous story. Now they sat in silence until finally he reached up to take off his glasses.

"Miss Summers ..."

She plucked his handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to him. He stared at it a moment then began polishing.

"Let me make certain I understand. You say you've actually been the Slayer for six years, and that a wish made to a vengeance demon - said demon being previously engaged to one of your friends - sent you back to high school."

Buffy smiled. An expression Giles' realized he found enormously appealing in spite of her obvious derangement.

"It does sounds sort of unbelievable when you say it that way."

Giles drew a deep slow breath, trying to ease the constriction in his chest. He sensed such potential in this girl: there was a power inside her which he couldn't help respond to. What a pity it would go to waste, but it was obvious she needed help and unfortunately, whatever was wrong with her was beyond his ability. A phone call to the Council seemed the wisest course of action. He put on his glasses and rose to his feet. "If you will excuse me for a moment, I'm ...

"Going to call the Council and ask what to do with a crazy Slayer," Buffy finished the sentence for him. "I'll bet Quentin Travers will have a suggestion or two. The man never liked me."

He felt the tightness in his chest increase and sank back down onto the desk. "How do you know about Quentin and the Council?"

"Because I'm telling the truth. I know you, Giles. Your grandmother and father were Watchers. When you were ten you couldn't decide if you wanted to be a pilot or a grocer. You like mushy peas and can play the guitar." She motioned to the file cabinets behind them. "Somewhere in there, indexed and probably cross-referenced, is a really hot picture of you with a band."

A muscle tightened in his jaw. "What about ...? "

"Ripper?" Buffy met his gaze steadily. "Yeah. We had the un-pleasure of a couple of visits from Ethan Rayne."

Giles felt a strange sensation in his chest, as if his heart had turned over. Slowly he said, "I'm surprised you never requested another Watcher."

"You're my Watcher," Buffy said firmly. "Something happen once and the Council tried to replace you. It didn't work. No matter what - past, present or future - you're my Watcher."

He grappled with all the information she had given him. She had to be telling the truth. An overwhelming sense of relief rushed over him. Six years in the future his Slayer was still alive. Whatever his failures of the past, in this he hadn't failed. He began to breath easily again. "What we need first is to ..."

"Research."

He smiled slightly. "I take it this is a suggestion you've heard before."

She agreed with half-smile and a nod.

He stood up. "We can start by going over everything you remember about ...."

"Giles."

"Yes?"

"I know you don't remember me, and right now you'll all tweedy and British and everything, but I just realized that if I’m not careful I could make things a lot worse instead making them better.” She hesitated for only a second. “Could I please have a hug?"

Giles slowly closed the distance between them. He didn't think about what he was doing. In his entire life, no one had ever looked at him as this young woman did. Her confidence was terrifying while at the same time making him want to be the kind of man she obviously believed him to be.

He held her close, his head bent and his cheek pressed to her hair. "Don't worry, Miss Summers, we'll put everything right."

Her arms crept around his waist and she rubbed her cheek gently just above his heart. She lingered for a moment then stepped away. "Buffy."

Giles smiled suddenly, his eyes very bright. "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer."

Buffy felt herself grinning. "You'd better believe it. Rupert."

Giles glanced at his watch. Still another hour before he needed to leave his flat to meet Buffy at the Bronze. That gave him plenty of time to have another cup of tea and double check his notes. As he moved around the kitchen, he mentally reviewed the things Buffy had told him regarding her early days in Sunnydale.

It had been decided, after much discussion, that until they had more information they should duplicate key original events as closely as possible. Therefore, Buffy had made arrangements to meet Willow Rosenberg at the Bronze, and Xander Harris had been allowed to eavesdrop on an interesting discussion between the new student and the librarian.

Buffy seemed sure that conversation, along with the confrontation Willow experienced later that evening, had been the Scooby Gang's - and what a ridiculous appellation that was - introduction to vampires.

Giles took his tea, went back into the living room and sat down on the sofa. The one point of disagreement between them had been Buffy's insistence on informing her mother about "the whole Slayer thing."

He could still see Buffy with her arms crossed, standing before him wearing a determined expression he expected his future self had seen a thousand times.

"It's not negotiable, Giles. I'm telling Mom."

"Such knowledge will put her in terrible danger."

"Not knowing will make things a whole lot worse. Been there, done that. Not going for the tee-shirt this time."

"The Council ...."

"Doesn't live on the Hellmouth. We do."

As they argued, Giles quickly discovered although his Slayer might be young she had a strength of will more than a match for his own. Equally impressive was her willingness to debate him point for point. There had been no whining, pouting, or any other traits he normally associated with teenage girls.

Then again, his Slayer wasn't exactly a teenager despite her current physical appearance. According to Council records, the average life expectancy of a Slayer after being called was three years. Buffy had already survived twice that, and had done so while living on a Hellmouth.

Giles put his cup on the table beside him. The trouble with time paradoxes is they were so, well, paradoxical. Even if he summoned this demon, Anyanka, and found a way to take her amulet and destroy it, a wish which hadn't been made yet couldn't be broken.

He sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees. For now, the only thing to do was continue his research and do his best to keep Buffy alive. Or perhaps more accurately, to keep her from dying once again.

The knowledge this might be impossible had finally persuaded him to agree Joyce Summers should be informed of her daughter's calling.

A knock sounded at the front door. He was about halfway across the room when the door was thrust open. The next moment, for the second time in less than twelve hours, he found his arms full of Slayer.

"Buffy! I thought we were meeting at the Bronze." He held her away, his green gaze running swiftly down her before returning to her tear-stained face. "What happened? Are you hurt?"

"No," she denied, burrowing back against him. The warmth was incredible, the feeling so delicious she didn't notice when he gently led her to the sofa and pulled her down next to him.

"Is it your mother?"

To her surprise, he continued to hold her close. Wrapping his arms around her and gathering her in as though she were a child.

"No, seeing Mom was wonderful." She swiped at her wet cheek, smiling when he pressed a handkerchief into her hands. "I did what we agreed. I told her someone from the school wanted to talk to her. She's expecting you to stop by tomorrow night at seven. We'll tell her then."

"Excellent. That gives me almost twenty-fours hours to make sure my affairs are in order."

There was an undercurrent of amusement in his voice, although when she turned her head to look he appeared perfectly serious. She froze, unable to look away. Her stomach gave a strange, alarming little flutter as it suddenly occurred to her what an extraordinarily handsome man Rupert Giles really was.

Without giving herself time to pursue the thought, and needing some physical distance between them, she swung her feet to the floor and stood up. "Thanks. I'm okay now. And I promise our conversations aren't usually so ... wet." She handed back his handkerchief.

"What's a little moisture between friends?" He tucked the square of linen in his pocket. "Will you tell me now what upset you so?"

"Angel," she said grimly, beginning to pace restlessly as she struggled to sort out her chaotic thoughts. "I was so excited about seeing Mom that I forget that tonight is when I met Angel for the first time." Giles stood up to watch her as she moved behind the desk.

"Ah, yes. The vampire with a soul." There was a cool distance in his voice Buffy recognized as meaning he had switched into Watcher mode.

"The vampire I was in love with," she corrected, moving toward him, confusion and anger making her voice tight. How dare he be so calm about this.

"Was in love with?" The focused intensity of his gaze shifted to her face. "Does that mean your feelings have changed?"

"I ..." She rubbed her forehead, wondering how to explain and feeling hopelessly inadequate for the task. She finally settled for, "Giles, it was awful."

He put his hand on her shoulder.

"Angel followed me, just like before. I knocked him down and he was laying there in the alley, looking all dark and gorgeous, just like happened before, too. Then he looked up at me and said, ‘I know what you're thinking. I don't bite.’" Buffy swallowed, feeling her insides shred. "All I could think was how stupid it sounded - like a line from a bad vampire movie. Then he starts being all cryptic, talking about the Harvest and how he's a friend. I remembered how I felt when he said that before. I thought he was so mysterious and exciting. This time all I could think about was how many lives could have been saved if Angel hadn't been so eager to play games with the information he had." She took a deep breath. “My feeling have changed and so has my perspective. I may have kicked and screamed every inch of the way, but I guess I finally grew up.”

In a musing tone Giles said, "I'm sure I've told you this many, many times before, but allow me to do so again. I'm very proud to be your Watcher." He squeezed her shoulder gently before letting his hand drop to his side.

Buffy drew a deep breath, surprised by the tribute. She felt like crying, but managed to sniff back the tears. Giles had already seen that too many times today. "Thank you."

"You're most welcome."

Keeping her voice calm with some effort, Buffy asked, "It’s still confusing though. I keep thinking I should try to make things right there, too. But I just don’t feel the same way about him. Is there something wrong with me that I don’t have the same feelings any more?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, Buffy. You're simply a different person than the one who fell in love with Angel." He smiled briefly. "In spite of your current physical circumstances you have, as you said, grown up. It's inevitable that as an adult you would see things much differently now than you did when you were younger."

"So even though Angel's two hundred and something years old and I'm stuck in this body that's not old enough to drive, or vote, or even have a glass of wine, I'm the designated grown-up. That doesn't seem fair."

"No, it's doesn't," he agreed in a mild tone. "Imagine that, life being unfair."

Buffy began to smile. "You know I'm going to use this ‘you're an adult’ thing to my advantage the next time we disagree about something."

A small chuckle escaped him. "Thank you for the warning."

She turned and started across the room. "We'd better get going. The early slayer gets the vamps."

He groaned. "I take back every word I said about you being an adult."

She opened the door and stopped to look back over her shoulder. "Giles?"

"Hmmmmm?"

"While we're being so grown-up and adult, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

He stared at her, an unreadable expression on his face. "Yes?"

"Do you plan on having sex on the hood of a police car this time around?" She hurried out the door without waiting for his answer.

Giles felt his mouth drop open, then he began to laugh. Still chuckling, he picked up his car keys and followed her out the door.

Sex on the hood of a police car. What a ludicrous notion.

He'd always preferred the back seat.

"Vampires?" Joyce Summers didn’t try to keep the skepticism out of her voice. "You expect me to believe Buffy fights vampires."

"Not just vampires," Rupert Giles corrected. "Demons, spirits, hell hounds, incubi, succubi - a host of evil creatures."

Joyce studied him. Whatever she'd been expecting when Buffy told her the high school librarian wanted to talk to her, this man wasn't it. He wasn't elderly, stooped or balding. He did wear glasses, but even those and the stuffy tweed suit couldn't completely disguise the underlying charisma.

She gave a mental shrug. She didn't care if he was the sexiest thing since Cary Grant, he was leading her impressionable daughter astray and she was going to put a stop to it.

"I don't know what sort of sick game you're playing, but it's over right now," Joyce said harshly. "I’m sure the school board and the police will want to know why you'd tell such stories to a young girl."

"Mom ..."

Joyce switched her frown to her daughter. "Go to your room, young lady, and don't come down until I call you."

"I did warn you this could happen." Joyce whipped her head around. Rupert Giles had removed his glasses and was glaring at Buffy. "This sort of denial and negative reaction is precisely why the Council insists on secrecy. It's done to protect the Slayer and her family."

Buffy seemed unfazed by either the words or the scowl. "Really? 'Cause I think the Council keeps everything a secret to control the Slayers, not protect us. One dies, another is called."

"You can't believe I would stand by while anyone, even the Council, harmed you," he demanded, the distress in his voice clearly evident as he leaned toward Buffy.

"No," she replied softly, giving him a reassuring smile. "You may make some mistakes, but in the end you always try to protect me. Even from my own stupidity."

Joyce could see the two were focused so intently on each other they'd forgotten she was even in the room. "Buffy ..."

"Mom, you can forget about calling the police," Buffy switched her attention to her mother and spoke calmly but firmly. "For future reference, being sent to my room is a thing of the past."

Joyce felt her mouth drop open. This girl whose vernacular included “wiggins” was using phrases like "future reference" and "thing of the past."

As if able to sense her rising agitation, Giles said, "Ms. Summers, I know this is a shock, but please allow us the opportunity to explain. Then if you still wish to contact the authorities ....

"Giles..." Buffy growled the warning.

He turned and looked at her steadily before returning his gaze to Joyce. "I shall defer to your judgment."

Joyce crossed her arms. "All right. Five minutes."

Giles put his glasses back on. "In every generation there is a chosen one."

To Joyce's surprise, Buffy groaned.

"Do they make you memorize that in Watcher school or something?"

Giles cleared his throat.

"They do, don't they?" Buffy demanded, beginning to smile. She tilted her head. "Did you have to get up in front of the class and recite it?"

"Buffy!"

"Sorry, Mom. Just curious about those wacky Watchers." She looked back at Giles. "Go on. Chosen one, yadda, yadda."

Ignoring her sarcasm, Giles continued, "There is one girl in all the world, born with the strength and skill to hunt vampires and other deadly creatures, to find them where they gather and to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their numbers. She is the Slayer."

Buffy held up her hand. "That’s me." Joyce grabbed her daughter's arm, pulling her away from Giles. "I don't know what this man had done to you, but ... !"

Joyce suddenly found herself spun around and dropped onto a nearby chair. Buffy’s hands rested on her shoulder, effortlessly holding her in place.

"Gotta admit this isn’t exactly what I had planned." Buffy gave a disgusted shake of her head. "Mom, stop squirming."

Joyce heard Rupert Giles sigh. "Strangely enough, threats and accusations were precisely what I expected."

"You were right. Happy?" Buffy snapped

“Ecstatic,” He snapped back. "By the way, your mother is turning a most alarming shade of red."

"Oh." Buffy loosened her grip. "You okay?"

Joyce pushed her hair out of her eyes. "How did ..."

"The strength and skill to hunt vampires," Giles reminded her.

"Translated from Watcher to English, I'm fast and I'm strong. Well, not like Supergirl strong, ‘cause there’s no flying or x-ray vision. Which would have been really cool. More like Incredible Hulk strong." She paused. "Without the hulkiness. Or the greenness."

Joyce gaped at them, stunned. How had Buffy picked her up and moved her so easily? She thought back to all the odd occurrences at Buffy’s school in Los Angeles. The things that had happened since their move to Sunnydale. Everything she had pushed to the back of her mind rushed over her.

Suddenly, and seemingly from nowhere, Buffy produced a sharpened wood stick which she twirled with nonchalant ease. “How about a little exercise, Giles? I think a nice walk in the cemetery will clear up a lot of Mom’s questions.”

Giles smiled boyishly. “An excellent suggestion.”

One very horrifying but enlightening hour later, Joyce found herself back in her living room. In the kitchen she could hear Buffy and Giles arguing amicably. In a moment they returned and she gratefully accepted the cup of hot chocolate her daughter handed her.

“Those two ... things. They were vampires.”

“In all their bitey goodness,” Buffy assured her.

Joyce shook her head. How was it possible that everything her daughter and this strange Englishman has told her was the truth? Buffy, a vampire slayer? The more she tried to come up with another explanation for seeing those creatures crumble to dust, the more she had to believe the incredible things these two said were true.

Mentally shrugging off her disbelief, Joyce automatically fell back into her role of protective mother. She put down the cup and stood and looked directly at Giles. "All right, Buffy’s the Slayer. After what I saw, I’ve got to accept that.” She paused, making sure she had his full attention. “I’ll accept that you’re her “Watcher” but that needs to be more than a title. If my baby is out there every night fighting vampires I expect you to do a lot more than just *watch*. I want you there with her just like you were tonight."

“That’s my mom!”

Giles' eyes held her unflinchingly as Joyce once again found herself lifted off her feet, only this time she was enveloped in a bone crushing hug. She returned the embrace, even as she shuddered inwardly thinking of the inevitable horrors her daughter would face. She gave a sharp shake of her head, refusing to let herself go down that path. Whatever Buffy faced, she wouldn’t face it alone. She smiled down at her daughter then looked at the silent man standing nearby. “What can I do to help?”

Later, Buffy settled back on the sofa and let the conversation wash over her. It has taken a while to fill her mother in on all the details. After the shock of learning about the slaying, Joyce had taken the rest of it in stride with amazing ease. Even the fact that her teenager was really twenty-one hadn’t caused much more than a startled blink.

Buffy and Giles had decided not to tell Joyce anything her own future or about Dawn. Giles was convinced given the inevitable changes from the original time line that both areas were too nebulous to reveal. Buffy agreed, although she did plan on insisting her mother go to the doctor for a complete check-up. If her mother’s death was inevitable, at least this time she would know she’d done everything in her power to prevent it.

Dragging her thoughts away from unhappy memories, Buffy focused on the sound of Giles’ voice. Deep and honeyed, it shimmered though her, setting off sparks. The feeling was accusingly familiar, although she normally ignored it. But in the last twenty-four hours she had decided that this was one more thing she would change. These feelings wouldn't be ignored this time around.

During her first time around, by the time she had matured enough to realize Giles was a devastatingly attractive man, the pattern of their relationship had already been set. Watcher and Slayer. Friends and Comrades.

There had been other impediments, too. Her obsession with Angel and Giles’ feelings for Jenny. Then, when a new beginning might have been made, along came Olivia and then Riley. Strangely enough, it had been easier to settle for a mediocre relationship with Riley rather than risk losing the somewhat strained friendship she had with Giles.

Now, she had the opportunity to change the situation with Giles as well as correct her past mistakes. This time she would let her Watcher know she appreciated him as a person, and not just a source of information. This time the words “old” and “gross” would never cross her lips. This time she would ....

“Are you all right?”

Buffy was so lost in her thoughts it took a few moments to realize her mother was speaking to her. It sounded as if this wasn’t the first time Joyce had tried to get her attention. “Sorry. Guess I zoned out there for a minute.”

Giles smiled. “It has been a rather stressful day.”

Joyce touched her hand to Buffy’s forehead. “Are you feeling okay? Rupert, do you think she has a fever?”

Before Buffy could respond, she felt Giles’ cool palm pressed first against her forehead and then her cheek. Her own fingers itched to return the touch and trace the angles and curves of his features. To resist the urge, she locked her fingers together and tucked her hands between her knees.

“I don’t think there’s any need to worry.” Giles stepped back and put his hands in his pockets. “A Slayer’s body temperature is always slightly elevated.”

Joyce frowned. “Are you sure? Maybe she should go to bed.”

“Mom! She’s right here and she doesn’t need to go to bed.” Buffy struggled to keep the exasperation out of her voice as she rose to her feet. “In fact, Giles and I have to get back to the cemetery and finish patrol. Tonight’s a full moon and there’s nothing a vamp likes more than a well lit snack bar.”

“All right,” Joyce conceded grudgingly. “If you’re sure.”

“Positive.”

Joyce turned and smiled at Giles. “I’ll see you tomorrow night then.”

“Huh?” Buffy glanced back and forth from Joyce to Giles.

Joyce laughed. “You really were lost in a daydream, weren’t you?”

“Your mother has kindly agreed to let us turn the basement into a training area,” Giles explained. “Tomorrow evening I plan to bring over some items we’ll need.”

“What about the library?” Buffy demanded. Some of her favorite memories were centered around that room. Well, maybe not the Master, or Evil Vamp Willow, or the opening Hellmouth, or listening to Cordelia whine. But some good things had happened there, too.

“It will be our base,” Giles said. “But some of your training will be much simpler to do here, privately, away from prying eyes.”

Buffy almost choked at the images his words invoked from her imagination. Private training with Giles with no one else around. Her Watcher would have a heart attack if he knew what she was thinking. “Great.”

Giles glanced over at Joyce. “Red or white?”

“Your choice.” Joyce smiled flirtatiously. “Surprise me.”

Buffy crossed her arms. “Once again with the ‘huh’?”

“Joyce asked me to dinner,” Giles said, casting a shy glance at Buffy’s mother. “A very gracious gesture to someone far from home.”

Buffy frowned. “Wait a minute. Tomorrow night, I’m supposed to go out for pizza with Willow and Xander.”

Joyce blushed.

Giles smiled.

Buffy felt her heart sink.

This time she wouldn't have to deal with Angel or Jenny or Olivia or Riley. This time she would get to stand on the sidelines and watch Giles date her mother.

“Talk.”

Buffy looked at Willow. “Anything in particular or should I just babble?”

“Something’s been wrong for weeks.” Willow pulled the pizza box across the library table and helped herself to a slice. “More than the whole back in time to go through high school and fight the master and try not to die again wrong. You’re losing weight and you look like you haven’t slept in days.”

“It’s nothing,” Buffy mumbled. “Just bad dreams.”

“Have you talked to Giles?”

Buffy shook her head. “They’re not Slayer type dreams.”

Willow regarded her thoughtfully. “Just the make you wake-up crying, drenched in cold sweat type.”

“How did ...?”

“Xander overheard your mom talking to Giles. She’s worried about you. ”

Buffy sighed, trying to think of a way out of what was rapidly becoming an awkward conversation. What could she tell Willow? That she was terrified that for every mistake she corrected she would make two new ones, and this time who knew how many people would die because of her. That when she closed her eyes she had visions of Giles announcing he and Joyce were going to marry and settle down someplace safe and raise a house full of little Joyces and Giles. "It’s complicated."

Willow settled back in the chair and crossed her arms. “Buffy, it’s not just your mom. We’re all worried. Especially Giles. He thinks you know something bad is going to happen but you won’t tell him ‘cause you don’t want him to get hurt.”

“I wouldn’t ...”

“Yes, you would,” Willow interrupted shortly. “You’ve already tried to talk Giles into letting you go after the Master by yourself.”

Buffy slumped lower in her chair. “It seemed like a good idea at the time,” she muttered.

"You know you're not ready," Willow said firmly. "You only wanted to do it to keep any of us from getting hurt."

"Again," Buffy corrected. "Hurt again."

While events were unfolding almost the same as before, things also changed just enough to make it impossible to predict exactly what was going to happen. And each change they made meant that the next event was altered just a little bit more from Buffy’s memories.

Although Buffy decided not to try out for the cheerleading squad, they still had to deal with the problem of Amy’s mother. This time around a quick counterspell by Giles limited the damage to singed eyebrows and a sprained wrist when Buffy pushed Willow to safety. Amy had gone to live with her father and her mother has simply disappeared.

Both the Fork-Guy and the She-Mantis was dispatched before doing any damage, but a ninety pound spider with a taste for humans made an unexpected appearance. Before being skewered on a conveniently located flag pole, the spider had managed to take a bite out of Xander’s leg.

Hyenas? No problem. The principal was saved only to be killed in a auto accident a week later. Computer demons? Situation avoided. Only a new evil spirit showed up in the power system and almost turned Giles into Crispy-fried Watcher while he was making tea.

And so it went, for each dilemma they knew about and were able to avoid a new one arose in its place. The only constant with the past seemed to be the overwhelming presence of Angel. The vampire lurked. Sometimes assisting, but always lingering in the shadows watching. What had seemed exciting and mysterious at sixteen now made Buffy grit her teeth with exasperation.

Adding to her frustration was the unsettling knowledge that her Slayer combat skills were exactly the same as they had been at sixteen. She could recall all the complicated moves she had learned over the years, but her body’s memory hadn’t yet caught up with what her mind already knew.

Luckily, the night she had made that unwelcome discovery the Scoobies had been patrolling with her. Jumped by four vampires, Buffy tried to spin and take all of them on, only to fall in a twisted heap. Fortunately, Willow was able to distract one of the vamps by smashing a half-eaten orange in his face while Xander confused another with knock-knock jokes. That had given Buffy breathing room to finish off her two before taking on the others one at a time.

The only good thing to come out of that embarrassing situation had been more training with Giles. After muttering something about 'neural pathways' he has decided it was simply a matter of reteaching her body what she already knew.

Her training was progressing much faster than it had originally, but she still found it maddening to have to practice again and again a maneuver she could remember doing with ease.

Once he realized how frustrated she was by the situation, Giles had shooed everyone else out of the basement to allow her to train in private.

That was when the real torture began.

Buffy tried to recall if Giles had always been so tactile during training. She certainly didn't remember him touching her so much. Not that there was anything remotely sexual about the contact. For all the physical awareness Giles showed, he could have training her eighty year-old great-aunt.

Idly, she chewed on her bottom lip. Maybe she and Giles weren't destined to be anything but friends. Which was just fine with her. She could settle for that. At least that's what she kept telling herself, even though her body didn't seem to be getting the message from her brain. Her body knew what it wanted and it wasn't an avuncular arm around her shoulders or a casual pat on the back.

She wanted the man who made Olivia purr the name "Ripper" like it was the answer to a sexual prayer; the man who without hesitation stuck a sword in the mayor for her; the man who forgave all her sins against him and called her a miracle; the man who made her feel alive for the first time since clawing her way out of her grave and whose helpless giggles, after hearing her recount events which made her feel pathetic, caused her realize her life was actually more bad soap opera than epic tragedy.

Buffy sighed.

The man who was currently at her house sharing red wine, pasta and who knew what else with her mother while she and Willow sat in the library splitting a slowly congealing pizza.

Under the life sucks category, she was willing to give this one a solid nine point five. The only thing keeping it from getting a perfect score was Giles' assurance he would be back later to patrol with her.

"Buffy, are you okay?" Willow eyed her intently. "You've been sitting there just staring into space."

Buffy studied her friend for a moment before reaching a conclusion. "I need to tell you something, and you can't laugh and you can't tell anyone. Not even Xander. Especially not Xander."

"I would never laugh at you," Willow said defensively. "Well, okay, maybe if you were wearing a white sweater and spilled grape juice in a pattern that looked like a really naughty Rorschach inkblot, I might giggle a little. But not an actual guffaw. More a tiny snicker, but with undercurrents of understanding and friendship."

Buffy leaned her elbow on the library table and rested her chin on her palm. "Your mind is a strange and wonderful place."

"Yep." Willow nodded happily. "Now, spill."

Buffy took a deep breath. "I love Giles."

Willow continued to watch her expectantly.

Buffy frowned. "Didn't you hear me? I said, I love Giles."

Willow shrugged. "Big ol' duh on that one, Buffy. It's not exactly a secret."

"I mean I'm in love with Giles," Buffy clarified. "Romantic, passionate, Lifetime channel movie-of-the-week type love."

"Once again with the duh." Willow leaned back and crossed her legs. "We all know that. Even Xander. And he's the king of ignoring things he doesn't want to see."

"Giles knows?" Buffy was horrified.

Willow shook her head. “I don’t think so. He's ever better than Xander at ignoring stuff that's right in front of him. Miss Calendar's been coming on to him for weeks and he's been totally oblivious."

"That's because he can't see the Jenny for the Joyce."

"Huh?"

"Forest for the trees. On in this case, the hot computer teacher for my flirty and sexy mom."

"Giles does spend a lot of time at your house," Willow agreed.

"Tell me about it," Buffy said glumly.

"But he's not in love with Joyce," Willow stated as though divulging an indisputable fact, like sunrise, the changing seasons or buying an outrageously expensive sweater that goes on half-price sale the next day.

"Skipping right over the part where you're not weirded-out by me being in love with my Watcher, what makes you think he doesn't have feelings for Mom?"

"I think he likes her a lot, just not in a romantic way," Willow explained.

"You weren't there that first night. There was definite sparkage."

"Yeah, but haven't you ever looked at someone and for a while everything's all sparkly and Hallmark cardy and then one day you look again and he's just this goofy guy who's always going to be your best friend, but he just doesn't make your insides do the cha-cha any more."

"Had a Xander epiphany there did you, Wills?" Buffy asked, looking at her friend with surprised bemusement and making a mental note to find out details later.

"Ignoring that comment because ... well, just because." Willow sat up straight. "Giles and your mom should be the perfect couple, but they're not. I mean other than being close to the same age, the only thing they really have in common is you."

"I don't know. They spend a lot of time together."

Willow shrugged. "Giles is here all by himself, and your mom doesn't really know anyone either. C'mon, Buffy, all you have to do is look at them and you can tell they're just friends."

Buffy thought it over. "A romantic dinner for two isn't just friends."

"No, but making a meal for someone who usually cooks for himself and who spent his weekend helping to check the inventory at the art gallery for cursed artifacts is."

“A preemptive strike,” Buffy muttered, thinking of the power of the mask her mother had unwittingly released.

“Huh?”

“Never mind.” Buffy began to smile. "So you don’t think tonight is a date, date?"

"No, just a thank-you from one friend to another."

Buffy’s smile faded and her heart began to pound at the sound of the soft voice behind her.

Willow shifted nervously. “Hi, Giles. We were just talking, you know girl stuff. Nothing that would interest you. No, not a thing.” She paused for breath. “Have you been there long?”

“Yes.”

At his succinct reply, Willow pushed back her chair and grabbed her books. “Sorry, guys, but there’s somewhere, definitely not here, that I need to be.” Shooting an apologetic look at Buffy, she hurried from the library.

Buffy slumped back in the chair as Giles seated himself beside her. She eyed him warily as he sat looking at her as though he were trying to make his mind about something.

“We should talk,” Giles finally said. There was a heartbeat of silence, then he sucked in a deep breath. “I suppose I should start by apologizing for eavesdropping.”

Buffy tried for a casual shrug and wondered if the Hellmouth opening up and swallowing her would really be a bad thing.

“It wasn’t my intention to embarrass you,” he said quietly.

“I know.” Her voice was equally quiet. Buffy tried to put aside her own feelings. She knew Giles well enough not to judge his emotions by his calm exterior. For such a private person, it must have been overwhelming that she would know things about him that he never thought he'd willingly share with anyone. But for that knowledge to be residing in a sixteen year old just who had just declared her love for him would be excruciating.

“I had no idea ...” he stopped as if unsure what to say next.

Buffy tried to smile. She would be a grown-up about this if it killed her. “I guess Willow was right.”

“Not just about that.” Giles’ eyes were steady and his voice was firm. “Joyce and I are friends. Just friends.”

“You are? I thought, I mean with the whole stevedore thing and ....” At his look of confusion, Buffy stopped and tried again. “I mean, the two of you seemed very close. ”

Giles sighed. “Another time, another place, perhaps things would have been different.”

“Because you’re my Watcher?” she asked tentatively.

“Partially,” Giles admitted truthfully. “My first loyalty will always be to you. It’s a difficult situation for any woman to accept. Even the Slayer’s mother.”

“Oh.”

“That wasn’t the only reason, however,” Giles continued. “After spending time together, Joyce and I came to realize the rather fleeting romantic attraction we felt for one another had been replaced by a quite genuine and warm friendship.”

Buffy exhaled the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “So, to translate from Giles to Buffy, you like my mom but you don’t want to sleep with her?”

Giles closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. “A bit blunt, but correct.”

They sat in silence. For Buffy an internal war was raging. What was he thinking? Should she ask? Did she really want to know? Finally she asked, “Where does that leave us?”

“Right where we are, I hope,” he said carefully. “Slayer and Watcher.” He paused. “Friends.”

“Nothing more?” she couldn’t keep the plaintive tone out of her voice. For just a moment, she thought glimpsed something in his eyes. Something that perhaps he wasn’t ready to share with her, or even himself, yet.

“Buffy, the obstacles are tremendous.” He shook his head. “To being with, you’re much too young to ...”

“I’m ...” Buffy began indignantly.

“Chronologically you’re sixteen,” Giles interrupted ruthlessly. “While you've known me for many years, I’ve only known you for several months. I think you are an amazing young woman who has handled this strange situation remarkably well. I’m proud that you’re my Slayer.” He took a deep breath and continued. “That said, no matter what feelings I have now or may develop in the future, the fact remains that to the world you are still in your teens. There are a great many words for men my age who have liaisons with girls your age and none of them are flattering. Even if I were to consider such an arrangement, which I will not, is that really what you want? An affair that would have to be hidden from everyone?”

Buffy blinked back tears. “No.”

“Good. You deserve much better.”

Buffy felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her. Before taking Willow back to England with him, Giles had used the same words when Buffy had told him she had ended her affair with Spike.

“You said that to me before. About someone else,” she admitted quietly.

“Was I right?”

“Yes. More than right. So right there are no words to describe how right you were.”

He moved slightly and then was still.

“But you aren’t right now,” she said with conviction. “Okay, you’re right about some of it. There’s no way around how old my body is right now. But you’re wrong about the rest of it. I could never find anyone better than you.”

“Buffy ...” he began in a warning tone.

“Calm down, Giles. Just because I’m in love with you doesn’t mean I’m going to start chasing you through the stacks or try to seduce you in the middle of training.” She smiled, amazed at how good it felt to be able to say she loved him out loud. “Although I will admit to having an interesting fantasy or two about this table. If we have to blow the school up again, it’s definitely coming out with us.”

A hint of red stained his cheeks. “Were you always this ... candid?”

“No,” Buffy admitted honestly studying him intently. For just a few moment, she had been able to read the expression in his eyes. Curiosity and a quick flash of fascination, both quickly concealed . “But I think things would have been a lot better if I had been. So this time around you’re stuck with Truthful Buffy.”

“Who is still only sixteen,” Giles pointed out.

“I’ll get older,” Buffy said with an easy confidence she didn’t feel. “Well, probably. If the Master doesn’t kill me ... again. Or if Spike doesn’t show up and have that one good day he hoped for. Or if some hell god doesn’t decide to try to end the world. Or if ...”

“Buffy.”

She stopped in mid-sentence and met his gaze across the small distance separating them. There was steel in his eyes.

“You’re going to live a very, *very* long time.”

Buffy caught her breath. The words were more than a predication. They were a promise. Her heart began to race as a thousand hopeful possibilities rushed across her mind. But she knew that to say anything more would be a major tactical error. If pushed, Giles was quite capable of putting up emotional walls that even a Slayer couldn’t tear down. With a smile, she stood up and held out her hand. “Since there’s plenty of time, why don’t we agree to talk about this later? For now, I’ll take my favorite Watcher on a tour of some of the town’s best hot spots.”

With only a slight hesitation, Giles put his hand in hers. “Sunnydale has hot spots?”

“Sure. The cemetery, the morgue, the abandoned warehouses. Each and every one guaranteed for a fun-filled evening.” Buffy pulled her Watcher to his feet. “Unless you’re a vampire. Then they’re the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“There shouldn’t be any problem then since I’m quite human,” Giles said, continuing to hold her hand in a firm, gentle clasp. His lips twitched upwards slightly. “And a Watcher always understands the importance of being at the right place at the right time. Even if it means planning years ahead.”

Buffy grinned. As declarations went, it certainly wasn’t hearts and flowers. Still, it was more than she had expected. “That’s a good thing. Because Slayers tend to be a little impatient. Wanting to rush things when maybe they shouldn’t.”

Giles slanted her a sideways look that made her pulse pound. “I’ve always believed some things were not to be hurried.”

Buffy laughed. Her Watcher was a flirt. It should make for an interesting, if rather *long* couple of years until she turned eighteen. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze as they started to walk out of the library. “One of these days, we’ll test that theory.”

“I look forward to it.”

“So do I, Watcher Mine. So do I.”

The End