Title: PG
Author: Jullez
E-mail: Jullez@prodigy.net
Rating: PG
Spoilers: S5 up to The Body
Summary: Now that would be cheating. The title pretty much says it all.
Dedication: To EW b/c now that she has everyone calling me PJ I can't get the Puffy J thoughts out of my head, so this is what happened.
Distribution: Gabi, Dria, anyone who wants it just ask and it yours, take it and put it everywhere.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, they aren't mine, so sue if you want, but you won't get anything. The song is I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred.
Buffy was in a bad mood. It wasn't her normal Buffy's moping about something trivial mood; Buffy had really been depressed lately. The past few weeks she'd hardly eaten nor slept and when she did do either one she was often sick from it or got nightmares. Everyone had tried to cheer her up, but nothing was working probably because no one knew exactly what the problem was. Dawn had even spoken to Giles about ways they might be able to help her come out of her depression, but so far they were at a dead end. Giles had sworn time and again that he would do anything within his power to make her happy, safe, and protected and that was how the "incident" occurred.
The day started out like any other. Giles woke in the morning his first thought being Buffy's well being. Oh wait, I lied his first thought was what on Earth that thing was growing in his shower. Anyway back to Buffy, he knew she had been depressed lately, so much so that she was scaring Dawn, so as he was completing his morning routine of getting ready for work he thought of ways to cheer her up or at least make her smile. The way she was going a laugh was too much to ask for. All day he had tried in vain to make her eyes light up, but every attempt seemed to make her even worse. Eventually he gave up and suggested they start the days training session. When he couldn't stand how detached she looked he stopped the session. He had to the way she was hitting the punching bag was starting to depress him. It was like she was debating on whether to hit it or not. What was she thinking that if she more than taps it she'll hurt its feeling's, bloody girl. "Buffy stop!"
"Hmmm?"
"Stop you're obviously distracted and have been for the past 3 weeks or so. Your behavior has been melancholy and you are frightening Dawn and I frankly. I would please like to know what is bothering you, so maybe I can help you."
Buffy looked at him sadly then averted her gaze to unwrap the tape from her hands. Sighing heavily she asked, "Giles, do you know what the date is?"
Giles looked at her obviously not knowing what the date had to do with anything. It certainly couldn't be the reason she was so upset. It wasn't like Buffy suddenly developed a phobia of the month of February. "It is the middle of February, why do you ask?"
Fidgeting and still playing with the tape Buffy asked in an even sadder tone that sounded almost hurt at the fact that Giles had to ask what was wrong with her, "Do you remember what happened a year from three weeks ago?"
Giles thought quickly. So many extraordinary things had happened in the past year that it was hard to remember them all. Giles eyes widened when he realized what he and the others, including Dawn, had been so callous to not remember. Giles couldn't believe how stupid he had been to not know the source of her overwhelming sorrow. If he could kick himself in the nuts then he would, then he thought about that and how stupid he was to think that too. When Giles finally got over thinking about how stupid he was he spoke again. "Oh my god Buffy, I am so sorry. I can hardly believe that I didn't remember the date."
Even more hurt and now on the verge of tears Buffy replied, "Hey no sweat. Its okay even Dawn didn't remember. Dawn of all people!!!" Buffy couldn't bear that thought and she finally broke down crying.
Giles quickly went to her wrapping his strong loving arms around her for comfort. "Hey, shhh. It's all right Buffy just let it out." Buffy sobbed even harder into his chest, "It's just that I……………I miss her so much Giles." Giles understood completely. It had been a year since her mother's death and just when she was beginning to feel normal again everything got torn apart. Not knowing any comforting words to say even with the mammoth vocabulary he possessed he let the soothing hug and stroking of her hair replace any words that he could give her.
They stayed like that for a good half hour before her crying subsided. Giles took hold of her shoulders lightly pushing her away to look at her face. When he peered into her eyes an idea struck him and so the "incident" was born. Wiping away her tears with his thumbs he gave her a bright smile speaking to her and that soft sexy voice, "I know of something that may make you feel a bit better." Buffy snorted in disbelief, "Really?" Giles ran his fingers up the sides of her arms and then her shoulders before letting go telling her to stay where she was. Buffy took one look at the gleam in his eyes, watching his retreating back (she was really staring at his butt though); she wondered what he was up to. Her eyes kept wandering over to the changing partition that Giles had seemingly disappeared behind. He had been back there for an awfully long time and she was starting to worry.
Just when she was about to go check on him she heard music coming loudly from that direction. She hadn't even seen Giles slip the CD player back with him and was that the song she thought it was. Yes it was. Oh my god!!!! What was Giles wearing!!!!!
Giles came sashaying out from behind the partition wearing a huge t-shirt over the puffy sumo suit they made Xander get in during training as the opening words to the song stated playing.
I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me
Buffy could not believe her eyes Giles was dancing around the training room lip synching I'm Too Sexy wearing that!! A smile quickly appeared on her face.
I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
Just then Giles ripped off the large t-shirt and began running his hands along the puffy chest. Who knew the puff suit had nipples…oh and a belly button! Breaking out in fits of giggles she continued to watch her watcher doing what appeared to be a form of the victory dance you would expect a quarter back to do in the end zone.
And I'm too sexy for Milan, too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan
And I'm too sexy for your party, too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing
At that verse Giles began imitating John Travolta's dance moves from Saturday Night Fever. Oh my god he just did the pointing at the sealing thing! Buffy's side hurt from the laughter.
I'm a model, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk
Giles continued to walk around the room imitating Cindy Crawford…or maybe RuPaul would be a better description, swaying his hips provocatively when the song called for a turn.
I'm too sexy for my car, too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far
And I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat, what d'you think about that
Oh god for this verse Giles was grinding up against the vaulting horse still lip synching and eventually gliding toward her Buffy wondered how Giles knew how to break dance and how he could do it in the puff suit.
I'm a model, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk
Giles was imitating the turns he'd done to this verse previously until the last part was added. Buffy feel to the ground clutching her side in fits of painful laughter as Giles turned his backside to her on the last verse and shook his puffy touche expertly in front of her face. The diaper thing the sumo wrestlers wore shaking hysterically.
I'm too sexy for my, too sexy for my
Now he was imitating the ghost baby from Alley MacBeal. Buffy didn't think she could possibly laugh any harder.
'Cause I'm a model, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk
Buffy had just stood up and now feared she would fall again. She couldn't even make sound as she laughed when this time instead of Giles turning his backside to her and shaking it about, he pretended to spank himself to the beat.
I'm to sexy for my cat, too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy (Buffy's eyes widened as he looked straight at her), poor pussy cat
I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me
And I'm too sexy for this song
Giles was spinning to make the big finish when he accidentally tripped sending himself to the floor; thankfully he landed on his back. Buffy kneeled down beside him still laughing hysterically. She was going to help him up, but she couldn't stop laughing. He joined in knowing how this all must look to her. When they both had eventually stopped and their chest no longer hurt from the pain of comedy Giles touched Buffy's cheek lightly, "Now, that is a good look for you." Buffy smiled brightly leaning down she gave him a kiss that curled his puffy toes, if he had puffy toes.
When the kiss ended Giles was a bit dazed and lay starring at her over his enormous, yet soft, chest. She smiled kissing him again this time making the sumo belt/diaper thingy curl. Breaking away she said, idly playing with the sumo nipples, "Have I ever told you that the puff suit turns me on?"
Giles smiled brightly at the hilarity of the situation and pulled her to straddle his waist. Thank god she was flexible, but the suit provided a nice cushion. "Well, in that case, have you ever tried puffy love?"