Title: Once In A Lifetime 24/24
Author: Karen Jephson
Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately. Want to adopt and treat them better
than their owners, but I don't have enough.
Feedback: Live for it.
Note: To Trich and Gail. Thanks for your nagging, your precise beta, and your
constant encouragement.
She sat in the dark, curled up on the couch. The house was silent after all the welcome home's and the sighs of relief that it had all worked out. Restless, he'd stopped in his hotel room for just a few minutes, then realized there was some unfinished business. He'd returned, knowing she would be waiting for him. Her entire body language cried of the pain she was feeling.
Giles sighed as he sat beside her. They hadn't discussed the differences between their relationship and that of the other Rupert and Buffy. With their track record, they probably wouldn't. But he felt, perhaps, there were other things that needed to be talked about. And if, in the loneliness of the night, he brought out some of those precious memories and wondered 'what if', who was to know?
"Well if we ever needed evidence that I'm a screw up, we've got it now."
"What?" That he wasn't really expecting.
"Come on, Giles. You were there. We only had Rupert telling us, but you saw it. Because of that one stupid choice I made, I ruined everybody's lives. Xander and Anya, Willow. I killed Tara."
"No you didn't."
"As good as. And you and I." Her tears were visible in the moonlit room, her voice thick with emotion. "Because of my childish selfishness I stopped any of us being happy."
"Buffy, we only saw a snapshot of their lives. We don't know all the effects of their choices. And, we don't know how I would have reacted."
"Yes we do. We saw."
"Only one option. The way I felt then, I could have easily staked Angel the moment I saw him. Especially the condition he was in at the time. The other Buffy even admitted that her Rupert struggled with that. So, there is another version of our lives where I did stake Angel. Each of our choices changes how our lives turn out, what we become. There can be no right or wrong in that."
"But they were all so happy! They had happy endings! Name me one thing in that world that was wrong!"
"Riley." His quiet response pulled her short. "You weren't there to save him from the Initiative. They didn't even know who the Initiative were, or what their real agenda was because you weren't invited into the inner circle. By the time Adam made his move, it was too late. For Professor Walsh, and for Riley. When they finally battled them, Adam had turned Riley into another human/demon hybrid. Buffy had to destroy them both."
"Oh god."
"And because Riley hadn't been taught by you the difference between evil demons, and those who were victims of their circumstances, he wasn't sympathetic when Oz was captured. By the time the gang had found out where he was and tried to rescue him, it was too late. They'd killed him with their experiments."
"How do you know this?"
"I asked. I was afraid you might feel this way, so I needed to be able to show you that all choices have consequences, and that no matter what decisions you make, they have long-reaching effects on many people. Do you really think Willow is completely happy knowing how Oz died? Or that Buffy isn't free of guilt because she couldn't save him? Or that they couldn't stop the bloodbath that happened when Adam started the final battle? Hundreds died, many of them innocent. You stopped that happening, because of your involvement with Riley. And that only came about because you and I didn 't have that relationship." There, it was out in the open. The question was, what would she do with it.
Buffy shifted, then turned so her weight leaned against his side. He froze, surprised. "I understand what you're saying. But it hurt, to see what differences one decision can make. You know?"
He sighed, bringing his arm around her shoulder. "I know. I saw you happy, really happy. Something I haven't seen in a long time. And it hurt me to know the pain you've gone through all these years, knowing I couldn't prevent it."
They sat silently for a while, content to be in each other's company. They shifted at the same time, turning to face each other. A moment passed, and then they moved closer until their lips touched.
fini. Now will you all please stop nagging me? ;)