Title: Being the Light
Author: Kate R.
Summary: Giles reaches out to Buffy after Once More with Feeling.
Pairing: Buffy/Giles (My first, be kind)
Feedback: please? abelard950@aol.com
Disclaimer: Own nothing and no one used here in. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.
Rating: G to PG
Author's Notes: Songfic done to Candle on the Water from Pete's Dragon. Not mine. I make no money off any part f this fic. Please don't sue me as you wont get anything.
"I'll be your Candle on the water,
My love for you will always burn.
I know you're lost and drifting,
But the Clouds are lifting,
Don't give up, you have somewhere to turn."
Giles watched Buffy struggling with life and he felt pain and anger. Pain for her, His Buffy, and anger and rage at Willow, Anya, Xander and Tara. She was in heaven. How could they not have checked? Willow was getting far too arrogant with her power. Not even Ethan would do such a thing without being absolutely sure of where she was.
"Damn Them!" Surged through his thoughts.
Now that he knew, he understood so much. Why she was dumping everything on him and leaning so strongly on he and Spike. Now that he knew, he couldn't leave. He found himself completely unable to leave her. He could not do what her friends had done.
Friends---Yeah, right, with friends like that, who needed enemies like Angelus? Of course not even he would have done such a cruel thing. There was no excuse for what they had done. Willow knew the spell to see where Buffy was; she just hadn't bothered with it. So sure of herself, so foolishly stupid. Something would have to be done about that but right now Buffy needed him more than Ripper needed to deal with those arrogant children.
Giles looked at her, seeing her pain behind her false cheer and the smiles she gave everyone. So much made sense now and he was going to help, even if it killed him. Giles watched knowing what she needed right now was a light in the darkness. A candle in the storm so to speak. And Giles would be it if she would let him and even if she wouldn't, his love would always be there, burning brightly as a light to help her find her way.
Giles knew she was lost inside and drifting in pain and he was damned if she would suffer that kind of cloudy depression much longer. Giles was determined to reach out to her and be her candle.
"I'll be you candle on the water,
Till every wave is warm and bright.
My soul is there beside you,
Let this candle guide you,
Soon you'll see a golden stream of light."
Giles began to reach out to her the next day. Slowly, going slowly so she didn't panic and think he was pushing too hard. Gods above, she was being pushed hard enough by everyone else to be Perfect, Happy Buffy and it sickened him. Even now that they knew, they were avoiding talking about what they had done. This terrible wrong they had committed against one they called friend.
Willow especially seemed to want to deny she'd been wrong and was trying to ignore it. Giles wouldn't allow it. That child was going to learn there were consequences for her actions even if Ripper had to ask Ethan to help him teach her. It wasn't as if he didn't speak to his best friend anyhow. Ethan had been with him when Willow called. Ethan had gotten him to the airport and on a plane to America. And Ethan had told him something was terribly wrong with the whole thing. Now he at least knew what that was.
Giles turned his attention to Buffy as he saw her mind drifting off in pain again and he touched her hand, willing her to feel his love. Giles was trying to make her life warm again it was just hard to compare with the pain of being torn from heaven. To counter it with his love for her. He was trying to reach into the stormy sea of her life and make all the waves warm and bright. He was letting his soul be beside her, to guide her back into the light.
"A cold and friendless time has found you,
Don't let the stormy darkness pull you down.
I'll paint a ray of hope around you,
Circling in the air,
Lighted by a prayer."
Giles watched Buffy as she was trapped in the middle of a cold, lonely, friendless time. He couldn't stand it. She was letting the darkness destroy her so he went to her and lifted her out of it with only his love and courage. Her Giles would always be there for her. He did not judge, would not condemn her for her feelings, did not push or rush her to come back to life and living life in one day. It was not something easy to come back from, being pulled form heaven back to a life like Buffy's. Would it never end for her? She deserved to rest. More than most people she deserved peace.
Giles felt his anger returning. His anger at the others. Excepting Spike and Dawn and that was sad. That he was angriest with her so called friends. For once the vampire was innocent in what was happening and Giles knew it was time someone actually thanked him for preventing Buffy from committing Suicide. And Giles had had no doubt she would have if not for Spike and Dawn. And her damn sense of responsibility and desire to make everyone else happy. Oh, Giles had words for those selfish little brats. It had hurt losing her. Hurt badly but he knew in time it would fade to a dull ache. And whatever pain he had felt at her being gone, whatever pain any of them felt, was infinitesimal to what Buffy was feeling now.
Giles reached out to give Buffy some ray of hope in her dark, broken life. Someone certainly needed to and every night he prayed Buffy would find hope and reach back to him.
"I'll be your candle on the water,
This Flame inside of me will grow.
Keep holding on, you'll make it,
Here's my hand so take it.
Look for me reaching out to show,
As sure as River's flow,"
Giles patrolled with Buffy most nights, simply being there for her, giving her a place to come when home got to be too much, knowing Spike was watching Dawn. Spike was helping him in this endeavor, the endeavor to bring Buffy back to true life. Spike took care of Dawn, who was told what was happening. Dawn helped by loving her sister no matter how Buffy behaved to her. Giles was being her light in the darkness, and he found his love, his fire, growing. The flame of his love seemed to grow brighter and stronger everyday. And everyday, he was noticing Buffy was responding to it.
On patrol that night, Buffy was fighting fine and then she saw her mother's tombstone and just started sobbing. And Giles knew now was the best chance he'd have for a while to get her to take his hand. He knelt by her where she was sobbing and wrapped his arms around her, rocking slowly and gently back and forth. And Buffy? Buffy clung to him, desperately. She accepted what he was offering and she clung to him. Finally, he had her. She was taking the hand he had extended to her.
"Shhh, Shhh," he soothed. "I'm here love. I'm here. You'll make it Buffy. You have me and Spike and Dawn to help you if you just reach out to us. I promise, I'm here."
"I'll never let you go
I'll never let you go
I'll never let you go."
Giles eventually carried her home, lifting her in his arms he got there after Willow and Tara had gone to bed and Dawn was sitting up with Spike. He sat with them, still holding Buffy, so she was surrounded by those who cared and had not had a hand in her resurrection and who were not pushing her to be Perfect, Happy Buffy who was glad to be alive again even if it had cost her paradise. Giles could have killed the brats for their behavior in this. Grateful as he was to have her back, he felt she deserved her reward and should have been left in heaven.
Giles smiled as Buffy snuggled against his chest. He looked at Spike and Dawn who both smiled and he leaned down to brush a kiss on her forehead.
"It's all right now Buffy," he said. "You can rest now. I'm here and I wont ever let go. I swear."
And that was a promise he intended to keep.
TRUTH AND CONSEQUENCES (Sequel)