Title: In Limbo
Author: Katharine
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Cordelia/Giles
Summary: Cordy finds herself in a strange place. To be precise, inside Giles' hallucination. Post S6/S3.
Feedback: Always much appreciated.
Archiving: My site, http://lose-my-faith.net/rapture/ Anyone else, please ask.
Notes: Spoilers for 'Grave' and 'Tomorrow'. A few lines of dialogue, ahem, borrowed from 'Grave' and 'Restless'. Thanks, as always, to my wonderful beta, Wesleysgirl.
Improv #55: Radiohead Song Title Challenge
Disclaimer: Property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy et al.

"Huh?"

Echoing, resounding. Colours flashing. Blues, greens, yellows, mingling together, forming one swirling mass.

"What the - ?"

Cordelia took one careful step forward, and lost her balance as everything turned pitch black.

Wailing, screaming. People sobbing. Whimpers, shouts, gasps, merging into one, wreaking havoc on her senses.

She was more than a little freaked out.

"Urgh. This is so beyond a funny joke." She raised her head to what she thought might be the general direction of the heavens, a bright light, glaring down on her. Center stage. Caught. "I'm gonna kick your unholy asses!"

More flashes. Visuals; places she'd never seen, people she'd never known. All talking. Incessantly. Maddeningly. Accents she couldn't place, emotions that were too much for her to handle. Coursing through her veins. Making her feel every last stab.

She screamed as pain struck her side, from nowhere. Whirling around, looking for the perpetrator, she found nothing. Blank, empty space.

"Okay, I get it..." she said, voice quavering. "I don't know what you want me to do here, but I'd like it if you'd let me out..."

Nearly a week of being one with the higher realms, and this was her first trip. Suddenly, she was wishing for the relative comfort of boredom and immobility.

She looked down at her white gown. Tendrils of animated plant were creeping around the skirt, holding her in place. As she glanced around, in absolute panic, her surroundings solidified into a dark, living forest.

She could only think of one thing to do.

She screamed.

Her scream echoed. Or rather, it became a shout, a few octaves below her own voice. Twisting as best she could, escaping the grasp of the vines, she noticed, for the first time, another figure. Standing in the corner, little more than a blur in the shadows.

The figure stepped forward.

"Giles?"

Astonishment. That was her own emotion, not a borrowed one.

Dark figures surrounded him, taunting him, as he sank to the ground, muttering.

"Oh, crap!" Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Ha. Real sense of humour you people have. So, this is what Giles' brain looks like. I'd always thought it'd be a bit... well, tidier."

She was in Rupert Giles' nightmare. At least, she hoped. That would explain all the sobbing Englishmen, and the huge demon currently trying to consume a young Giles. A young, exceedingly handsome, athletic-looking Giles.

"Way to focus, Cord."

She tugged at her skirts. It was no good. With a force she didn't quite realise she possessed, she yanked at the now dirty material. It ripped, and she stepped free.

"So, what am I supposed to do here?" she wondered aloud. This wasn't something she was experienced in: gatecrashing someone else's nightmare. She hadn't been aware that was in the Higher Being Handbook. Which she really needed to get a copy of.

Save him. Save him, a voice whispered to her. She was hearing voices. "Great," she murmured, before running toward him.

The ground gave beneath her feet. Tumbling, downwards, spiralling, light, weightless...

Into a fancy drawing room.

A fire blazed in the hearth, an armchair in front of it. She could only see a hand, clutching a glass of dark brown liquid. The hand rose, shaking, then disappearing behind the dark green leather of the chair.

"...Giles?"

Cordelia inched her way around the side. She gasped at the sight before her.

It was the Giles she knew. But it wasn't. There was blood streaming from a nasty-looking cut on his forehead, running into his eyes and down his face.

"Oh... God..." she whispered, reaching a tentative hand towards him.

She sharply drew a breath as his hand quickly grasped hers.

"You underestimate me. You couldn't know."

The hand jerked her towards him, and, with a slight shriek, she found herself with her lips against his. She was tense against his lips, until a sudden light-headedness overtook her, and she found herself lying underneath him. His hand made its way down her body, making her shiver as he cupped her breast through the black lace. She glanced downwards, as best she could, finding herself wearing only a small black slip that left little to the imagination.

The scene shifted, slowly, around them, his lips never leaving hers, kissing her roughly, thoroughly, desperately.

She finally managed to break away for air, blushing. "Look, Giles, I can't do this, you don't know what you're... I'm in love with- " and her protests were cut off by his lips returning to hers.

Whispers around them, sighs, still swirling, confusing, a turmoil of colour, sound and emotion. She pulled away again, about to stop him, and suddenly found herself overwhelmed by strange sensations. A strange urge to...

Kiss him.

"Oh, hell, it's your dream," she muttered.

And she did.

As they kissed, slowly, lingeringly, she looked up at him, and saw tears making their way down his face, finally dropping onto her own. He moved to kiss her neck.

"Sorry.. so, so sorry..."

She looked up at him in confusion. Without warning, he wrapped his hands round her throat.

"No! No!" She fought for breath through the vicelike grip. Her head started to swim as yet more flickering lights entered her consciousness. The sensation was of falling. Swimming. Flying. Floating. In one final effort, she looked up at him. She tried with all her might to scream as his face was replaced with that of a sadistically grinning, and yet somehow featureless vampire.

She was suddenly released from the grasp. Fighting for air, she rolled away, continuing to fall, off the side of the bed...

"Cordelia?"

A less scary Giles stood in front of her, dressed all in black, without his glasses. He looked tired. She glanced down at her own outfit. She sighed in relief. The modest white dress.

"Cordelia?" he repeated. "What are you doing here?"

She rolled her eyes. "Shouldn't I be asking you? This is your dream, isn't it?"

He frowned. "Uh... yes. I think it is."

"You mean, you know I'm here?" She stopped to ponder the idiocy of that question. "I mean, you're not having the weird dreams any more? Because, uh, as much as I like being manhandled..."

He glanced downwards. "I'm, well, I didn't think.. I mean, uh, I thought you weren't real."

She sighed. "I'm glad that's cleared up. So, what's going on? Why am I here?"

"I wish I could answer that question."

She gestured for him to continue.

"You're not the only one with questions, you know. I also wish I could remember why I'm here," he snapped. "All I do know is that I'm in quite a lot of pain."

Before she could comment how strangely he was acting, a shot of green light shot along the endless corridor, heading towards them. With lightning fast reflexes, Giles grabbed her and threw them both to the floor, covering her body with his own. The glowing orb passed over them, cutting the air where their heads had been a moment ago.

Cordy fought to steady her breathing, all too wrongly aware of his body above her own. "Uh... thanks..." she whispered, suddenly feeling emotions that she was convinced weren't quite her own.

He stared down at her, before quickly standing up and offering her his hand. "You're welcome," he said, as he pulled her up.

The light had settled, leaving a green glow a seemingly short distance from them. Cordy looked around at him.

"You feel that?"

"Mm," he muttered, already starting to move towards it. Cordy looked down at her hand. It was firmly grasped in his, and yet, she had no urge to let go.

"Go into the light," she said quietly, wondering how it was she got herself in these situations.

They walked for what seemed an eternity, the light glowing brighter, hands gripping each other, as if they were a kind of anchor. Cordy shielded her eyes with her free hand.

"I'm not sure that this was the best-"

Mid-sentence, she stopped as they were suddenly engulfed by an almost unbearable heat. In terror, she flung herself into his arms, which he circled around her, holding her as their clothing began to singe. This is it, she thought, as they clung to each other more tightly, until-

She blinked. They had returned to the beginning of the dream. But, instead of a horrific demon standing in the middle of the wilderness, there was Willow.

"Did you really think you could beat me?" The new, not so much improved, infinitely more frightening Willow let out an ear- splitting cackle. "Old man, I am more powerful than you could ever hope to be." She rose her hands, and shots of electricity flew towards them, binding them together, in place.

"I think I remember why we're here," Giles deadpanned.

Cordy stared at him, wide-eyed.

"Not the best time to be funny!" she yelled. "She's going to fry us!"

A warmth ran through her veins. Suddenly, inexplicably, Cordelia knew why she was there. She closed her eyes, concentrating on the heat she knew that only she could feel.

Giles drew back a little. "Cordelia, is everything..."

Her eyes snapped open as her body began to glow. Giles could only watch in wonder and slight consternation. The white glow spread from them, enveloping the surroundings slowly, until it reached Willow.

With a flash, it stopped, plunging them into darkness.

"What have you become?" Giles asked, nothing but amusement and wonder in his voice.

She opened her eyes. They were lying in bed again, her head rested on his chest as his fingers trailed up and down her black- clad body.

She sighed. "I wish I knew. And I wish I knew why this feels... not so wrong."

He smiled. "It should, really, shouldn't it?" he murmured, before descending upon her neck once again.

She pushed him away. "Whoa. How do I know you're not going to go all homicidal on me again?"

He frowned at the memory. "I'm so.."

"I know, I know, so sorry." She smiled at him. "You really gotta stop apologising for every little thing. It's not like you can really control your subconscious..." she rolled her eyes at the glint of amusement in his. "Hey, I took Psychology, remember?" She shuddered as he began to kiss her again.

"I know why I'm here."

"Willow?"

"I'm dying," he whispered. Shock tore through her body, almost ripping her apart from the inside out.

"No..." she gasped. "No, you can't! You can't, it's not- you'll be..."

He smiled sadly. "Willow. It's a long story, but she was looking for vengeance, and I crossed her path."

She ran a hand down his face, tracing his lips, then kissed him, as if it was the last thing she would ever do. He tangled his fingers in her hair as she rolled on top of him, pressing her body to his, almost as if it would keep him with her, anchor his body to her own.

He broke away as a stabbing pain enveloped his whole being.

A single tear rolled down her cheek.

"I love you, y'know," she said. "Not like that, but... I care, a lot, and I don't know what I'll do if - if -" her voice broke.

He twined his fingers with hers. "I know."

For the first time, she noticed the colours around them fading, losing their lustre, becoming dim and forbidding. The room was swirling, almost as it had before, but more sluggishly, pulling at their bodies, an overpowering dragging sensation.

She was in his arms as they swayed to inaudible music. Her white gown was stained red. Sobs wracked her body, ripping at her lungs, reverberating through him. She clutched more tightly, feeling her fingers slip through him as if he were made of air.

Horror-struck, she looked desperately up at him as he began to fade.

She wanted to scream, but no sound would leave her lungs. She could only cling, wrapping herself around him, as he slowly dissolved.

"Good bye, Cordelia," he said, his voice reaching her as if from afar. An almost transparent hand cupped her chin as he wiped the tears from her cheeks as he leaned in for one last kiss. As she kissed him back, a final, blinding ray of light encircled them, and, with a piercing shriek, the surroundings lurched, and the colours burst into black.

* * *

Cordelia shuddered as she opened her eyes. She was suspended again in the higher realms.

"God.. that was... intense," she said. Suddenly, she became aware of what had just happened. "Oh, god, Giles..."

A warm feeling came over her. Somehow, she knew. Calm flooded her being, and strangely, for the first time she could remember, she was happy, ecstatic, even, to absolutely know -

He had been wrong.

* * *

Giles opened his eyes. A scorched ceiling glared back at him. This wasn't quite how he had imagined the afterlife.

A silent sob echoed from behind his head. "Cordelia?" he tried to ask, but sound failed him. Propping himself up with great difficulty, he looked around.

The Magic Box.

"Giles!" a woman's voice shrieked. "You're not dead!" He focused with difficulty. Anya. Still there, still with him. This meant...

"No," he said, some wonderment creeping into his still rough voice. Before he had time to even collect his thoughts, Anya threw herself on him, hugging him as tightly as she possibly could. "However, I am still in some pain."

He wasn't dead. Not dead. He kept repeating it in his head, puzzled and thrilled. But Cordelia... was most likely a part of a fevered hallucination. A rather bittersweet one, but a hallucination, all the same.

Power still swirled through his veins, making him painfully aware of everything happening around him. And somehow, he could feel her presence surrounding him.

He blinked again. For the moment, there was much more to think of.

So much more.

And, as quickly as she had materialised, the hovering, serene, radiant Cordelia drifted from his consciousness.

FIN