Title: Following His Heart 1/2
Author:Katy Hart
Email: secondalto@yahoo.com
Pairing: G/B
Rating: FRM
Spoilers: Up to Flooded, but kinda AU
Disclaimers: Joss and them own all; I'm just borrowing for fun.
Distribution: You want it? Really? Just ask.
Feedback: equals happy muse. Happy muse equals more stories.

A/N Part 1: Inspiration comes from all kinds of weird places. For this story it came from the quote in the epigraph. Want to know about the book? Feel free to ask, I love to share.

A/N Part 2: All my fic up to now has been, while not angst free, at least on the happier side of the B/G relationship. But as soon as I started writing this I knew it was headed for Angstville, consider yourself warned.
~~~~flashback~~~~
Dedication: To Antenna, for the beta. She insisted it wasn't angsty enough, so she got more. <g> To the entire B/G community for making me feel welcome.

He'd forgotten how bright the sun was in Southern California. He'd neglected to pack sunglasses. As Giles stood outside Sunnydale Airport, he basked in the warmth. He had missed it, especially after the last week of cold grey rain in Bath. He'd never thought her would see this place again, until the call from Willow. Buffy had come back, there hadn't been much detail from the young red head. They had performed a spell, she had been resurrected. And here he was, climbing into a taxi to take him to her. He was ignoring logic and reason and listening to his heart.

Rupert Giles had long known what was in his heart. A deep and abiding love for his Slayer, Buffy Summers. From the moment she had set foot in the library, his heart had been hers. He smiled fondly at the memory. She had been so flippant about her destiny, so defiant to him. It was part of what had captured him, her strength to do what she wanted, no matter the consequences. It was what made her the most successful Slayer in history.

He had allowed himself to admit this desire after putting her through the hell of the Cruciamentum. A father's love indeed! He held onto to that realization like a drowning man would a life preserver. Though he'd allowed Olivia into his life for a brief period, she would never have his heart. Even Jenny had been unable to have all of his love. So he suffered the comments of the blond temptress who continued to ignore him, kept him out of her life.

Of course he had encouraged her to do so. No need to shackle her to a pitiful old man when she could have a strapping young soldier. He placed walls around his fragile heart, knowing it was for the best. She would have the normal life she so desperately craved. He'd even decided to return to England. He would let his heart grieve for the woman it could not have. Then she'd asked him to be her Watcher again and those carefully placed walls crumbled.

Then all hell broke loose. Or more specifically a hellgod. He stood by her side, amazed she had confided in him about the true nature of Dawn. It had killed him to tell her that her "sister" would have to die. In that she was defiant to the end. How his heart had screamed as she fell from the tower. He would never know how he had managed to carry her body home, arrange for a quiet burial. He had left shortly afterward, getting her friends to look after Dawn. He couldn't stay, he had gotten her killed, wasn't that what a Watcher was for? Now a phone call from Willow and his heart soared. She was back. She needed him, or so Willow claimed.

~~~"Giles, is that you?"

"Willow, good to hear your voice. What can I do for you?"

"Buffy's back."

He'd nearly dropped his teacup at her admission. "What did you say?"

"Buffy's back, we performed a resurrection spell. We thought she might be in a hell dimension, y'know with the portal and all. And we need her here Giles; we can't keep up with the demons. She needs you Giles. She won't tell us anything, just slays and carries on as if nothing happened. I think she's denying where she was. Can you come?"

"I'll think about it Willow."

"Think fast, Giles. Call me if you decide."~~~~~~~~

Rupert Giles knew his heart, admitted it freely to himself. Did he dare take that last step and follow it? When he picked up the phone to make plane reservations, he knew he would. And now he was here, he thought. What would he say, how would he react? Was she really in a hell dimension, like Angel had been? Could he really help her? He wanted to tell her right off, but would it scare her. Should he go slowly? So many questions, too little time to answer them all.

When the taxi arrived at Revello Drive, everything was in chaos. A plumber's truck pulled out of the driveway, making him wonder what the hell was going on. He collected his suitcase and walked to the door. He could hear everyone talking and yelling. Were they all here? Tara, Willow, Xander, Anya, Spike perhaps? How would he react to seeing them all? The only way to find out was to get into the house. He knocked on the door as loudly as he could.

"I'll get it," he heard Dawn yell.

As she flung open the door she saw him and her eyes went wide. Soon he was caught in her all encompassing hug. She had grown, seemed to be taller that Buffy.

"Ohmygodyoucameyou'reback," she exclaimed without taking a breath.

He merely smiled and hugged her back. How he had missed her teenage exuberance. Granted she had only really been a teen for a year now, but he had memories of her, and he missed her easy smile. She let him into the house. He wondered were everyone was.

"Hey Dawnie, who was it? Giles! You're here!" Willow rushed to hug him. "Why didn't you call? Xander could have picked you up. C'mon, let's get you some tea." She pulled him into the living room. Willow had always been the practical one. She seemed calmer than before, but he saw the underlying tension. He could feel the magical powers she had gained; he would have to watch her.

"Giles!" came the collective shout from the rest of them. Anya was as tactful as ever, wanting to know if he wanted the shop back. He assured her he would still be a silent partner. Xander still insisted on calling him G-man. The boy had grown so well into a man; Giles felt a surge of pride knowing he had helped in this transformation. Tara was serenely quiet, but he could sense the tension between her and Willow. Something to do with the magic perhaps?

Buffy was in the corner, putting away some paperwork. She turned at the sound of his name. Her eyes were tired. She had been through so much and was asked yet again to defend the world. She was denied her peace to protect against the Hellmouth. She was too thin. He would have to remedy that soon. He wanted so badly to tell her everything, grab this second chance at happiness. Their eyes connected and he saw a spark of the old, happy Buffy. It did his heart wonders to know he had put it there. He crossed the room as she did. They met halfway for a hug that nearly crushed his ribs. She felt so right in his arms. So small a thing to be ridding the world of evil day after day. He hadn't realized until now that he hadn't believed Willow, not until he was holding her, feeling her physicality.

"Giles, you're here," she whispered.

"Where else would I be Buffy?"

She started to cry against his chest. He pulled her to the couch. Willow finally brought in the tea she had promised. The others were awkwardly trying to ignore the couple. Willow knew that Buffy and Giles needed time alone.

"C'mon guys, lets give them some space. Dawn, you can come with Tara and me to the movies. Giles, talk to her, find out what wrong, please? We'll bring Dawn back later."

He nodded absently, reaching for the cup, but unable to do so. Buffy wouldn't budge. He held her as she cried, stroking her back, murmuring nonsense words. She fit so well in his arms. He would move mountains to help her. She had held his heart for so long, he would die for her. As the sobs lessened he pulled her back, belatedly offering his handkerchief.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"You were gone. I came back and you were gone," she sniffled.

"You died Buffy. I couldn't stay too many memories. But I'm here now and I'm not leaving again." He hoped this was an accurate statement.

"I need you Giles. I can't do this without you."

Fresh tears threatened to fall as they both remembered when she had first told him that. He winced inwardly at the thought of her knocking him out before holding onto him as if he was the last person on earth.

"You won't have to love. Remind me to have a talk with Willow. No more bringing you back, you deserved the peace. She was messing with dark forces; she'll need to learn to control them."

"She'd like that, they all missed you. They've been telling me how they managed. Mom left us the Gallery, so the money from that has helped. I'm thinking of selling it, I don't know how to run a business."

"I'll help you in anyway I can with that."

"That would be good. Will and Tara both got part time jobs. Dawn's been babysitting. Anya and Xander have been pitching in some. Even Spike hired himself out as a bouncer or something. The mortgage was paid off with mom's life insurance, thank God."

"You have amazing friends Buffy."

"Yeah, Will even fixed the Buffybot to do patrols. But that's why they brought me back. I guess the Hellmouth knows the difference between the real Slayer and a fake."

"How so?"

She got up from the couch, pacing.

"Too many demons. They started flooding in from everywhere, almost as if they knew. They were out in force the night I came back. A horde of them destroyed the `bot. Do you know how creepy it was to see my head detached from my body?"

"Buffy…"

"Nah, s'okay, Giles. I'm dealing"

"Are you really Buffy? Willow said you needed my help." Would she tell him, would she trust him?

"Yeah, I need my Watcher back."

"No," he said, standing up. He stopped her pacing, placing his hands on her shoulders. He forced her to look him in the eye. "It's more than that, I can see it. What are you holding back Buffy?"

She crumbled under his gaze. She wrapped herself close to him again, tears flowing freely.

"I was in Heaven, Giles. They took me from Heaven."

He held her close, too stunned for words. It made sense of course. Where else would a Slayer go? Certainly not a hell dimension, how could he have thought that? How could any of them have thought that? But here she was, back on the Hellmouth, back to a hell all her own. He tried to guide her to the couch, but she collapsed to the floor, taking him with her.

"Do they know?"

"No, they can never know, Giles. It would kill them. They needed me, the world needs me."

"But to what end Buffy? You shouldn't have to be the Slayer anymore. You've died twice for God's sake!"

"Because Faith is in jail and no new Slayer was called when I died. Will was big with the research. The Slayer line is no longer connected to me hasn't been since Kendra was called. The whole two Slayers thing was a fluke. But I'm still the Slayer, so here I am doing my duty as the Chosen One."

"But you shouldn't have to be, Buffy. Haven't you done enough?"

"Angry much? No I haven't, Giles. The Hellmouth is still open and as long as it draws evil to it, I have to be here to stop it. Weren't you the one with the whole destiny spiel that first day in the library?"

"Yes, but I've changed, you've changed, circumstances have changed. You've served your time, Buffy. I've done my duty as a Watcher, gotten my Slayer killed, twice! Enough is enough. You deserve peace, happiness, the normal life you were so desperate for that first day!"

"Why Giles? Why are you so gung ho, especially now?"

"Because I'm in love with you, you silly chit!" he roared.

NEXT