Title: Season of Change 8/?
Author: Katy Hart
Disclaimer: Joss and company own them. I’m just
changing things for the better.
A/N: After RL and various ficathons kick my muse's butt, I
was able to convince her to cooperate. So at long
last, I give you an Christmas present, the next part!
With much thanks to my beta goddess, Antennapedia for
her gentle poking and prodding.
From Buffy’s Diary Dec 16, 1998
So mom, Faith and I were Christmas tree shopping earlier. I think Faith’s still a little stunned that mom and I (well mom really) would open our home to her. I think she’s even more surprised to be included in the holiday traditions. It seems a little weird seeing the Christmas trees when it’s sunny and warm out. I’m betting Giles is missing England right about now.
Anyway, there was a little weirdage at the lot. There were a bunch of dead trees at one end. I showed Faith and we talked to the lot’s owner. He said the trees just didn’t grow there. We agreed it could be something Hellmouthy, but decided to talk to Giles in the morning. Then we went back to mom and picking out a tree.
Oh, when I went to visit Angel, he was acting all weird and stuff. Seemed, I dunno, extra broody. Might mention that to Giles too.
From the Personal Journal of Rupert Giles December 16, 1998
Bloody southern California weather. How the residents here get into the holiday spirit while it’s eighty five degrees out is beyond me. I miss the cold, the biting wind, the grey skies heavy with snow. I miss bundling up in front of a roaring fire with a mug of cocoa in my hands. But I persevere.
I shall be spending my down time doing some research into the phenomenon Buffy and Faith told me about. Perhaps I shall send them out again later to collect some soil samples, have Willow test them. Angel is apparently acting strange also, when does he not?
I must find time to go shopping for Buffy. The others were easy to find gifts for; Willow is receiving some spell books with a promise to go through some of the spells with her, Xander is getting a crossbow as he seems to want to learn how to properly use one, Cordelia will love the antique vanity set I found in the second hand shop, and Oz will appreciate some of my records that I hardly listen to anymore. But Buffy, I despair as to finding the perfect gift for her. Something that will convey my feelings for her without actually revealing them. Perhaps I shall try and convince Willow to help me navigate that internet thing. I hear you can find most anything there.
From Buffy’s Diary Dec 17 ‘98
Things continue to be weird with Angel. Not normal weird either. He’s all skittish and avoidy, almost like he was when he came back. Today I could have sworn he was talking to himself. He says he’s fine, but I don’t believe him. I said we should see Giles, but Angel said that wouldn’t be a good idea. I think he still might have nightmares about what he did as Angelus.
Anyway, I’m off to the mall to do some Christmas shopping. Got mom, Will and Xand covered. What does a Slayer get her Watcher? What does she get when she wants maybe to tell him that she kinda sorta might see him as more than that? Maybe I’ll get inspired.
From the Personal Journal of Rupert Giles December 17, 1998
Angel showed up at my door this evening. It most certainly was not what I was expecting. Yet I still invited him in, this thing masquerading as a man, this demon who killed Jenny. I was cautious of course, crossbow at the ready should he revert to form. He asked for my help. It was laughable; I almost felt pity for him.
Then a strange thing occurred. He became irritated, scared, and nervous. It was if he was ready to jump at the slightest thing. Angel’s focus shifted from me to the space next to me. He asked if I could see her. He finally did bolt, muttering that he couldn’t. Couldn’t what? This merits a call to Buffy.
From Buffy’s Diary Dec 19 ‘98
Okay, uberweird, Hellmouthy night. But it turned out okay, which is always of the good. Angel showed up. Just to tell me I needed to stay away from him. It was mega spooky. Then he just ran off acting…okay I keeping using weird, but it was. Went to find Giles, told Faith to keep an eye on mom.
Got to Giles’ place, did some research. Saw a picture of this ugly guy, thing, whatever I ran into the other night. Did I forget to mention him? He’s called a Bringer, a servant of the ‘First Evil’. Am I supposed to be scared by that?
According to the books they love where things don’t grow. Bingo! The Christmas tree lot! We grabbed some weapons and headed out there. There was some kind of cave under the non growy trees. We go in and there’s Angel, crazier than ever. Who could blame him? There’s this ghostie type thing that taking the shape of people he’s killed, I guess. Cause Miss Calendar’s one of them. Giles was wigged by that. I tried to go after the ghost thingies, but it just went poof and Angel ran off. It was nearly dawn.
Took me a few minutes to snap Giles out of his wig and we went after Angel. He was standing on this ridge, saying he wanted to die, he deserved it. I’m trying to talk him out of it, saying I need him to help me with the Slaying. Which I guess I kinda do. He wouldn’t budge. Giles wasn’t helpful, but I’m thinking he was still kinda wigged.
Then it happened. It started snowing. I know, snow in Sunnydale? Majorly weird. So, no dead Angel. Giles and I got him back to his place. I guess someone up there wants Angel to stay too. Giles will probably be deep in research tomorrow, or should I say later today. Whatever. We walked through town together, me and Giles. It was kinda romantic. I almost wanted to hold Giles’ hand. Why can’t I tell him how I feel? Why?
From the Personal Journal of Rupert Giles December 19, 1998
After several hours and two glasses of my good whiskey, I feel I am ready to record tonight’s events. I shall start here so I can be more analytical when I get to my Watcher’s Diary.
Buffy came to me this evening stating that Angel had shown up in her room. I was unaware that he had been re-invited into her home. Nevertheless, he acted just as strangely as when he appeared at my doorstep. Buffy wanted to research, so we did. I chided her for not telling me about the Bringer earlier. But the mention of plants’ inability to grow where they reside made Buffy realize where they were. We gathered weapons and headed for the Christmas tree lot. There was a cave, underground, and there was Angel, being assaulted by images of his victims. Including Jenny.
I do not know how long I stood there, unable to process the image of my dead love. When I finally returned to myself it was because Buffy was calling my name and pulling me from the cave. The First had retreated and Angel had gone out to face the rising sun. As Buffy pleaded a case for needing him to help fight the forces of the Hellmouth, I found myself torn. Logically Angel would be an asset in the daily struggle Buffy faces and yet a part of me was counting down the moments until dawn.
I also came to a revelation standing there, having just been confronted by my old love, Jenny and watching my new love, Buffy, argue with Angel. I should not feel ashamed to love Buffy. While I mourned Jenny, deeply, she would not want me to mourn forever. I could almost hear her voice in my ear, encouraging me to let myself love again.
When I focused again on Buffy and Angel, his fate was taken out of our hands. It started to snow. It seems that a higher power wanted Angel to survive. I will of course be doing extensive research later. Buffy and I returned Angel to the mansion. We walked back together through the snow. She looked incredibly lovely. I very much wanted to take her hand in mine as we walked. But I held back. It is still too soon.