Katy Hart - Songs of the Heart 02

Title: Songs of the Heart 2/3
Author: Katy Hart
Disclaimer: Joss and everyone else own them; I’m just borrowing for fun. I do not own the songs either.
Feedback: Pretty please? Do I have to beg?

Part Two I will remember you (Buffy’s POV)

Buffy sat in the limo messing with all the knobs and buttons. Kinda cool that the Council still had money to let her ride in style. Course she was going to meet the head honcho, so nothing but the best. She’d gotten an e-mail asking her to come to London as a favor. She had been the most recent Slayer (they were ignoring Faith) and the Council thought she would be the best person for the job. Buffy had thought what the heck, why not? She’d been bumming around Europe, helping new Slayers, checking out the sites. All thanks to money left to her by Anya of all people. The demon girl knew how to invest. She really would miss the outspoken Scooby. Buffy teared up a little.

There was a lot she would miss about Sunnydale, surprisingly. She would miss her friends; they’d all gone their separate ways. Willow had spilt with Kennedy; the relationship forged under impending doom couldn’t last peaceful times. Her best friend had returned to the coven in England to further explore her new white witchy power. Xander had disappeared to somewhere in the Far east to mourn Anya and find himself, Angel had recommended it Buffy had tracked down her wayward father and forced him to be a parent to Dawn, who didn’t mind living in Spain. Faith and Wood had taken some of the girls to watch over the Hellmouth in Cleveland. Weirdly enough it was located under the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

And then there was Giles. Buffy could never forget about Giles. They had fought so much over the last year, particularly about Spike. She’d heard through the grapevine that the vampire had been resurrected. She didn’t know how or why and she didn’t care. He was just another chapter in the badness that was her love life. She’d told him she loved him. She did in some weird way she couldn’t define, but not in the way he wanted and he’d known that. Bringing her back to Giles. He’d been right in some ways about Spike. But they had needed the vampire in the end, something Giles couldn’t deny. They’d avoided each other for a while after, but they’d put the past behind them. For the sake of the new Slayers who would need their help.

She sat impatiently as the limo navigated traffic. She didn’t want to think of Giles because if she did, she would have to admit what was in her heart. She loved him. She had since, well at least Prom maybe longer. He’d looked so handsome and sexy. But then Angel and the Mayor and the next time she’d seen him there was another woman in his life. Buffy had avoided thinking about it, guarding her heart and making the wrong choices; Parker, Riley, Spike. They’d touched on that during their last talk. They’d even fallen into the old pattern of wordless glances, joking and flirting. Enough to give her hope.

Could they have a future? She wasn’t sure. Maybe, especially now there was a world full of Slayers. Could they undo all the hurt they’d caused each other? Could they just be friends at least? She didn’t know. All she had were instructions to meet the Council head at a coffee shop in the airport; he would know who she was. Buffy though nothing of it as the limo eased onto the highway. She pressed play on the stereo and sat back to listen to her music. She wondered if this head honcho would even know who Sarah McLaughlin was.

Her thoughts drifted to Giles. She would always remember him; he had been there for the past seven years. Okay not so much the last two, but when it counted, Giles was there.

She smiled at all the times she mocked him, like with the ritual in the desert. All the flirting and teasing.

Angelus, Jenny, that whole year they didn’t talk about. Spike, an issue that would have to be dealt with in the future.

Giles’ smiles, all of them really. They always made her happy. But the one she would remember most fondly was the one he gave when she’d come back from running away. He hardly ever was that open anymore. Could she bring that smile back to him?

Tears slipped down her cheeks as she remembered everything about Giles. The first time they met. Him throwing the sword into the Mayor. Asking him to be her Watcher again.

<I’m so tired but I can’t sleep>

Buffy really hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep since the destruction of Sunnydale. She’d had too many dreams, many of them involving Giles.

Could she really allow herself to love Giles? All the others she had loved had left.

<It’s funny how we feel inside but we cannot say a
word
We are screaming in silence but oh we can’t be heard.>

God, all the wordless glances they’d exchanged had deeper meaning. Did Giles feel the same way about her?

The tears were flowing freely now. She was weeping for all her memories, good and bad. Could she let her life pass her by without knowing, without having risked?

<I’m so afraid to love, but more afraid to lose>

That’s why she’d continually pushed him away. Why she’d made all the wrong choices. They were all poor substitutes for Giles.

Maybe she’d had to travel this path, make those wrong choices. All so she could see what had been in front of her all this time, Giles.

That defined her life very well, a darkness because she had dated two vampires. Giles had always given her the light. He’d always tried to let her have some of the normal life she’d craved since being Chosen.

As the tears slowly stopped, Buffy knew what she had to do. As the chorus repeated one last time she formed a plan. She would deal with this Council guy and demand to know where she could find Giles. She would find her Watcher and tell him she loved him, no matter what. Finally resolved, Buffy changed the CD to something more lively and smiled at her new purpose.