TITLE: Anchor (Part 2/16)
AUTHOR: Kerry Blackwell
PAIRING: Genfic - B/S and X/A as on the show
RATING: R
SPOILERS: Through "Wrecked" on Buffy and "Dad" on Angel
TIMELINE: Imagine it's about six weeks after those episodes and the ones we saw didn't happen.
DISCLAIMER: All things Buffy and Angel belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, UPN, FOX and Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox Film Corporation. I own only my genius (yeah, right!)
DISTRIBUTION: My site - White Hats - http://www.whitehats.co.nz (as soon as I'm well enough to code it and upload it) Any one else please ask first
FEEDBACK: Yes please!
THANKS: To Sarah for her editing assistance, and to Sarah and Ang for being ready to brainstorm with me when I begged appropriately.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I started this after seeing "Wrecked" and "Dad". My take on what could have happened next. It got totally Jossed immediately of course and since it takes me a long time to write anything, it got more and more AU as time went by. I had hoped to post it in the break, before anything _more_ happened, but I didn't manage it. Anyway, here it is. Just forget what happened after those two episodes and read my version. Please...

There were still lights on in the house when Buffy arrived home. Usually, everything was dark and she would let herself in, make a 'snack attack' detour to the fridge, and climb silently up the stairs and go to bed. She missed the after-patrol debriefings with Giles, which were more an excuse for tea and biscuits and conversation than a mission report. These days, she usually didn't see anyone else until the next morning. She shook her head, as if that could physically shake the thoughts away, and walked up the steps.

The baby was quiet now, but Buffy was afraid it would start crying again at any moment. Snd she had no idea what she was supposed to do if that happened. She wished desperately that she could walk inside and find her mother, the survivor of two difficult daughters, waiting there to help her. Or even Giles, who seemed to know about everything; he could probably cope with rescued babies as well as he could read Latin incantations or give her that 'look' when she had been irresponsible or stupid.

The lights suggested at least Willow was still up, and Dawn probably was as well, even if she was supposed to be in bed already. The baby rescue had cut short Buffy's patrol and she was home earlier than usual. She couldn't exactly check her watch with her arms full of infant, but she guessed it was around midnight, which made this a very early night for her.

She shifted the baby so it was held safely in one arm, and reached for the door handle. It didn't budge as she twisted it, meaning Willow must have locked the door already. Buffy hesitated for only a second, then rang the doorbell. Her keys were in her other pocket and she didn't want to jostle the baby any more than she had too, in case that was all it took to make it start crying again. For now, it blinked at her with wide, brown eyes and she was surprised to find herself smiling. She was even more surprised to discover how unfamiliar the expression felt, as if she hadn't done it in a very long time.

After a moment, Buffy heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and shortly after that Willow's voice asked cautiously, "Who's there?"

"It's me," Buffy called back. "I can't get my keys. Let me in, Will."

There was another pause before Buffy heard the lock click. The door opened slowly and Willow, staying safely on the other side of the threshold, looked out at her.

"Why'd you…?" Willow began. Then she saw the burden Buffy was carrying and all her innate Sunnydale caution went flying out the open door. She stepped onto the porch, reaching out a hand to lightly touch the baby's head. "Buffy Summers, is that a baby?"

"No, it's my vampire love child," Buffy retorted without thinking. "I met the stork at the gate and she was running late, so…" She stopped when she saw Willow staring at her. "Sorry," she said lamely. "I…"

Willow was shaking her head. "Buffy, you made a joke. It was a terrible joke," she added after a moment, "but who cares? You made a joke."

Buffy walked inside, feeling a little safer the instant she was on her own side of the doorway.

Willow followed a step behind her and closed the door once Buffy was inside. "You made a joke," she said again as she locked up.

"It's not the end of the world," Buffy snapped, no longer feeling humorous at all.

"No, it's…" Willow caught the look on her friend's face and stopped. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "It's just, you don't really laugh any more, or make jokes." The redhead's expression grew shuttered. "I'm sorry, Buffy. It's all my fault."

Buffy was saved from making a nasty reply by the baby, who finally decided it had had enough and started screaming again. She looked down at the child in her arms and finally ran out of energy to keep going.

"I don't know what to do," she whispered, startled to hear how near to tears she sounded. She looked up at Willow. "What do I do?" she begged.

"What's going on?"

Buffy and Willow looked up to see Dawn standing at the top of the stairs, dressed in her pyjamas and staring down at the scene below. The baby kept on crying.

"Buffy, is that a baby?"

Buffy avoided any humour this time, simply nodding. "I rescued it from Harmony Kendall."

"It?" Dawn repeated. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

Buffy looked down at the child; it had stopped crying suddenly and was smiling up at her. She felt her heart, an organ she had thought was frozen and dead, give a strange little flutter, and she smiled back. "I don't know," she admitted. "I was too busy doing the staking and saving thing to check."

"You staked Harmony?" Willow asked in disbelief.

"She was going to auction off the baby," Buffy said flatly. "I don't approve of that."

"So you staked her?" Dawn asked, coming down the stairs. "That is so cool. How did you do it?"

"She ran away, so I threw a stake after her." Buffy frowned. "My second best, and it's gone now."

"Through the back?" Dawn reached her sister. "That is so neat."

"And nothing you need to think about trying," Buffy said firmly.

Dawn pulled a face, and before Buffy realised what she was doing, carefully took the baby from her sister's arms. It was immediately clear she knew exactly what she was doing. She settled it skilfully in her arms and walked through to the living room. The baby was crying softly again, but there was something less desperate about it now.

By the time Buffy and Willow had gathered their senses enough to follow, Dawn was already sitting on the sofa, carefully extricating the baby from its now very grubby wrappings. She glanced up as they came in.

"We'll need something clean to wrap it in," she said firmly. "Can you find something, Willow?"

Willow nodded and was already out of the room and on her way to the laundry before she realised it was _Dawn_ who had just told her what to do.

Dawn quickly stripped the baby down to the barest essentials, and took a second to check the diaper. "Wet," she said firmly. She looked up at Buffy, who was staring at her like she had just grown a second head. "And congratulations, Buffy. You have a son."

It was something of a risk these days, making a joke with Buffy. You never knew if Buffy was going to laugh, cry or turn around and walk away. To Dawn's relief, she laughed. "I wonder what I called him." A second later, her eyes widened. "Dawn Summers, what do you think you're doing looking in little boys' diapers?"

Dawn rolled her eyes automatically and then, just to be on the safe side, changed the subject. "There's nothing on him or his clothes to say who he is," she reported as she settled the child safely on her knees. "I guess we'll just have to think up a name for him ourselves. How about William?"

Buffy almost shuddered at the thought. She could just imagine Spike's reaction to that. A moment later she had to suppress a second shudder as she realised she had never considered not telling the vampire about the baby. And not only because the poor little thing obviously already had enemies and needed all the protection he could get. It was also because telling him just seemed to be the normal thing to do.

"Rupert," she said reflexively. "He can be Rupert."

"Like Giles?" Dawn asked. "Yeah, I like that." She waved her fingers in front of the baby's face. "Hi, little Rupert." His eyes followed the movement of her hand and he hiccupped, the sobs reducing further, if still not stopping completely. "He needs changing, Buffy. We need diapers. Where can we get diapers?"

Buffy sat down beside her sister, instinctively running her hand gently over the baby's head. His light dusting of hair was so very soft, feeling silky under her fingers. She suddenly felt like she wanted to cry, but somehow it felt different from usual, as if it was filling her up rather than emptying her out.

"Dawn, how do you know so much about babies?" With a little effort she managed to give her sister a shaky smile. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Dawn laughed and shook her head. "Sometimes Janice's mom lets me help with Janice's baby sister."

"Oh." Buffy's heart sank as she realised here was something else she didn't know about her own baby sister. She'd be lucky to recognise Janice on the street; she certainly hadn't known Janice had siblings of any age or gender.

Rupert waved a fist in the air, and Buffy automatically put out a hand to catch his flailing arm. His fingers curled automatically around one of hers, his grip surprisingly strong, and they stared at each other; the woman and the child, each caught in the colour of the other's eyes.

"Diapers," Dawn repeated. "Where can we get diapers?"

"I'll call Xander," Willow said quietly. Dawn looked up to see her standing in the doorway, an old t-shirt and a lightweight lap quilt in her hands. They both looked at Buffy, the gentle look on her face so unfamiliar these days, and made a silent pact not to disturb her.

Willow put the garments down on a chair and slipped out of the room again. Soon, Dawn could hear her talking to Xander. It could only be Xander because the conversation seemed to consist largely of _Shhh_, _Calm down_ and _Stop panicking_.

The receiver was replaced with more force than was strictly necessary and Willow reappeared, looking caught somewhere between laughing and screaming. "Xander and Anya and going to go and find an all night store and come here with disposable diapers and anything else they think we might need."

Buffy nodded vaguely, her gaze still fixed on Rupert's face. He'd stopped crying completely now, studying her with the same fascination with which she was watching him.

At a look from Willow, Dawn lifted Rupert off her knees. "Why don't you hold him?" she suggested to Buffy.

Buffy looked up, a suddenly terrified expression on her face. "But you're so much better with him. What if I drop him?"

"You brought him here safely," Willow pointed out. "Why would you drop him now?"

Buffy shrugged, and Dawn decided to take that as a yes.

"You have to support his head," she warned. She helped Buffy settle Rupert in her arms, his head resting in crook of her elbow. "See, all safe and sound."

"What do I do now?" Buffy asked her sister.

"Do I look like I know everything?" Dawn retorted. "Work it out for yourself. I'm going to put some clothes on before Xander gets here."

Buffy looked extremely dubious, and Dawn had to swallow down a chuckle. As she walked upstairs, she felt like dancing with glee. She'd seen the way Buffy was looking at baby Rupert. She hadn't looked at anyone with that kind of emotion since… Well, since she came back.

In her head, Dawn knew Buffy loved her. After all, Buffy had died for her. But the Buffy that had come back to them, she was all messed up. She worried about Dawn, she still loved her, but it was like she couldn't show it any more. And it hurt. It hurt lots, even if, logically, Dawn kind of understood. She was fifteen, she wasn't supposed to have to be that logical.

But if Buffy could look at Rupert like that, maybe she'd remember how to look at Dawn that way again.

Xander and Anya arrived thirty minutes later, loaded down with bulging shopping bags and bursting with questions.

Buffy's grip on Rupert tightened instinctively as Anya descended upon them. She was willing to recount the tale of the baby's rescue, there was no way she was handing Rupert over to the ex-demon.

"You might drop him," Buffy said uncompromisingly when she complained.

"But I need to practise," Anya grumbled. "For when Xander and I have babies."

Xander turned a particularly nasty shade of green and hastened to change the subject. "So who's the lucky person who gets to do the diaper changing?" he asked quickly. Seeing an opportunity to dish out a little return medicine, he glance speculatively at his fiancé. "How about you, Ahn? That'll be good practise."

She gave him a look that suggested he was being especially dense. "I'm not doing that. That'll be your job."

Xander opened his mouth for a smart retort, and for once in his life, couldn't think of one. A moment later he remembered to shut it again.

Dawn was already fishing through the shopping bags, looking for the disposable diapers. She pulled out first one brand, then another, and finally a third. "Couldn't you choose?" she asked ironically.

Xander shrugged. "I don't know anything about diapers, so I just grabbed one of everything in baby size. Aren't they any good?"

"They're fine," Dawn replied. "It's just kind of overkill, y'know?"

Buffy finally remembered to look up. "Thanks, Xander. He might be here for a while, so we'll probably need them all." She didn't look at all unhappy at the prospect.

"I need Rupert, Buffy," Dawn said quietly. "So I can change him. Then we'll feed him."

"His name is _Rupert_?" Xander asked with a guffaw.

"The other kids will steal his lunch money," Anya declared with authority. "You should have picked something more manly."

"There is nothing wrong with Rupert," Buffy insisted loudly enough to make the baby whimper. She found herself remembering last Halloween, when Xander and Anya had announced their engagement. That time, when Anya had made disparaging remarks about the name Rupert, Buffy had smiled in agreement. Now, she suddenly found herself feeling obscurely guilty. Giles had stood up for her so very many times, and usually all she did in return was give him more grief. What made it worse was the realisation that she had been doing it long before she died. In this case, she didn't even have that excuse. She cuddled baby Rupert even closer, wondering what was wrong with her, that she was so insensitive and self-involved.

It was Willow who saw Buffy's face close up again. She wanted so desperately to take that hurt away; like Dawn, she had noticed the brief moments when the pain faded and something almost like animation had taken its place. She didn't want to do anything that might bring that horrible shuttered and hurting expression back again. She and Buffy weren't exactly on the best of terms right now, although they _were_ working on it, but she didn't want to barge in bow and do or say something that might make things really bad again.

She knew she wasn't exactly Dawn's favourite person either, but she did know that they shared a common cause when it came to trying to help Buffy. After a moment, she managed to catch Dawn's gaze, and nodded her head in Buffy's direction.

Dawn looked over and saw it too.

"Buffy, I need you to give me Rupert," she reminded her sister gently. "So I can change him." She looked around at the others in the room, suddenly wishing Tara was with them. She was sure to know how to handle this better than any of them. Dawn's experience with babies was limited to her time with Janice's little sister; she could change a baby in an emergency, she could hold one safely and give it a bottle, but that was the limit of her expertise. She had watched Janice's mom make up the formula, and she thought she could probably do it herself, especially if there were instructions on the box, but beyond that she had no more idea than the rest of them.

She felt a lump in her throat. Yes, Tara would be good, but Mom would be even better. She'd know what to do. About the baby, about Buffy, about… well, _everything_.

She swallowed away the lump. "Can someone make up some formula for him?" she asked in a carefully steady voice.

"I'll do it," Willow offered. She gathered up all the shopping bags from the coffee table and headed for the kitchen.

Buffy looked at her sister, her expression lost and yet determined, both at the same time. "Show me?" she asked. "So that I can look after him."

"Uh, sure," Dawn agreed uncertainly.

Buffy stood, automatically cradling Rupert safely even though she didn't realise she was doing it. "He'll stay in my room," she said firmly. "We'll go up there." She was at the bottom of the stairs before she realised Dawn wasn't right behind her. She looked back to see her sister still standing in the lounge archway, staring at her in confusion.

Because she was feeling rather confused herself, Buffy didn't know what to do about that. "Come on," she said instead. "You need to teach me what to do."

Dawn's look of uncertainty grew. "Okay," she agreed slowly, as she picked up the shirt and blanket Willow had left on the chair. "But I don't know that much."

"We'll figure it out," Buffy said firmly. "Come on."

Buffy's confident façade collapsed unexpectedly when they reached the privacy of her bedroom.

"Dawn, how are we going to look after him?" Her voice went oddly protective. "Harmony was going to _auction_ him. She talked about vampires and lawyers."

Dawn giggled. "Why don't vampires bite lawyers?" she asked her sister.

Buffy gave her a blank look. "Huh?"

"Professional courtesy," Dawn answered with another giggle.

Buffy continued to look blank.

Dawn sighed. "Don't you get it? They're both…"

"I get it," Buffy told her. "It's just that that is so…" Suddenly, she began to laugh. "Funny," she finished. "Both bloodsuckers, right?" At Dawn's nod, she laughed harder. "I was going to say lame, but that's funny."

Their laughter roused Rupert again, and this time he must have decided he had had enough, because he started to cry in earnest.

Buffy's giggles stopped immediately. "What do we do now?"

"Change him," Dawn said firmly. She partially lifted her injured arm and looked pitiful. "I'll tell you what to do."

Buffy gave her a steady look. "It's virtually healed. You managed fine downstairs. How come you're all broken again?"

"Don't you want to look after him yourself?" Dawn asked in her most wheedling voice, ignoring the question completely.

Buffy looked down at Rupert, who was still screaming. "Yeah," she agreed slowly. "I do."

"So listen up, big sister."

With Dawn's assistance and a certain amount of trial and error, Buffy managed to change the baby and redress him in his makeshift new outfit. He was still whimpering a little, but the screams had stopped. Buffy ran her hand gently over his hair. "We have to protect him, Dawn," she said firmly. "He's too young to have enemies."

"He has to belong to someone," Dawn pointed out.

"We'll find out. We'll do the research thing. Willow can look up missing persons' reports and kidnappings and stuff on the net. But first we have to keep him safe so we can give him back to his parents."

The familiar sadness returned to her face with the last words, but this time Dawn didn't care. The real Buffy had shown up tonight, even if only briefly. The one who cared, who protected because the innocent deserved it rather than because it was an unwanted duty. If Rupert was the reason, Dawn wanted to keep him around for as long as possible.

Besides, he was awfully cute.

"Let's go down and see if Willow has his formula ready," Dawn suggested. "And you can feed him. He'll be much happier with a full tummy."

"You'd know," Buffy retorted, but she was smiling again.

They went back downstairs together, more united than they had been in a long time.

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