Title: When In Rome
Author: Kim
Email: lawyergirl152003@yahoo.com
Written: January 29, 2004
Pairing: B/G
Rating: G
Spoilers: Through the end of Buffy and Angel, Season 5, Episode 11
Summary: A vignette sparked by last night's Angel episode. My concept of how things should be.
Distribution: WatcherGirls, ODD, GRB, and sundry others. If anyone else wants it I'd be flattered beyond belief.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They belong to Joss, ME, Fox etc. Although I'm sure they have more fun in my world.
Feedback: Please don't make me beg. I would especially love constructive criticism; anything to make the final product better.

Thanks: To Cat for the beta (and putting up with my obsessive tweaking) and to Jen for the encouragement (and for understanding why my next chapter is so late).

She stood at the edge of the doorway leading out to the terrace. The sun was setting, an enormous ball of fire casting a burnished glow over the city. The evening breeze stirred, sending the filmy curtains streaming into the room. The city sprawled, a mixture of the modern and ancient world, tumbling away from her palazzo into the distance. None of this captured her attention, however. A slight crease marred the smooth beauty of her face as her eyes focused on something far away.

Lost in thought, she didn't hear his approach. When a wine glass appeared in front of her, she hesitated for a split second before recognizing the arm holding it. She should have known that he would come in person. Accepting the glass, she took a sip of the chilled white wine and sighed appreciatively at the crisp aftertaste. Not bothering to look behind her, she leaned against his warm chest, confident that he would always be there to support her. His arm snaked around her waist, pulling her firmly against him. They stood that way watching the day slip into dusk. Each lost in their own thoughts, taking occasional sips of wine.

Finally she broke the silence. "It's over then?"

"Yes, she's been found and is being looked after." She heard the hesitation in his voice, wondered what he wasn't saying.

"And Andrew?"

"He's fine. I'm sure we'll be receiving one of his video journals chronicling the entire operation shortly." A short pause, then, "It's a good thing he had the others with him."

"His dozen slayers of vampires?" She wished she could let the light comment linger between them and be the end of the discussion, but sighed knowing it couldn't. "He wanted to keep her didn't he?" No need to clarify who he was.

"He thought they could help her." His voice was studiously neutral, until a darker tone slipped in, coloring his next statement with concerned compassion. "She does need help. I'm not sure if she will ever be able to function normally"

"She doesn't need his kind of help." He held her tighter, the tension in her body rolling into him setting his nerves on edge as well.

"I can't believe him." The words burst out; shattering the dam she had built to shut out the emotion, spilling faster and faster as the torrent got under way. "When did this get so messed up? Are our lives ever going to be less complicated? He's supposed to be on our side. He's not supposed to switch teams like that. How can he do that? How can he throw away everything that I . . . that we have stood for all of these years." The flood released, she sagged against him. "I'm so confused," she whispered.

He chose his words carefully, "I know we all decided to tread cautiously around Angel now, and I'm not changing my mind on that, but he did call us for help. I believe that Angel thinks he is doing what is right. He truly seems to believe he can change the system from within."

She sighed heavily. "If there is anything that fighting the First taught me, it's that things are definitely not always what they seem. But I can't take a chance with someone else's life now. There are too many people depending on us."

Pride swept through him at those words. She had grown so much, even from the woman who led them into the Hellmouth itself. His heart broke knowing that his next words might take her from him forever.

"There's something else you need to know." Once again she heard the undercurrents in his voice. The sadness in it made her stomach tense, waiting for what she was sure was another tragedy.

"Andrew reported something to me. He said I wasn't to tell you, but I don't believe it's a secret I should keep. I hope that we are beyond secrets now." He was delaying the telling of it; certain that this was the last time he would stand holding her so close.

"I don't want any more secrets between us either. Tell me."

He took a deep breath; glad she couldn't see the tension making his jaw knot. "Spike is back."

A thousand thoughts barreled through her brain in that instant. In utter disbelief she could only ask, "Back?"

"He was brought back some how by the Powers. He's corporeal. I understand he is assisting Angel in some manner."

She was confused; her thoughts sticking together like molasses in a twisted jumble. "Is he human?"

He was grateful he could answer this question in the negative. "No, he's still a vampire."

She stood so still for so long that he began to panic inside. He was sure it was only a matter of moments before she went rushing to find her passport. If she asked him to help her find a flight he would hurl himself off the balcony. Needing to distance himself physically before she devastated him emotionally, he started to remove his arm.

She sensed his movement through the fog of confusion. Her hand went to his arm and pulled it even tighter around her. "No. Stay."

The information of Spike's resurrection crystallized the decision her subconscious had made in the months leading up to this moment. "I love this city," she said, gazing fondly at the streets below.

He was caught off guard by the change of subject. For a moment he said nothing, simply drinking in the sights of the city and the golden head of hair before him. "Beautiful," he murmured.

"Dawn loves it here. The art school is amazing, and she says Italian boys are so much more mature than Americans. I know I have responsibilities, but I've come to think this is a city I can return to time and again and find a measure of peace here." Suddenly she turned, looking at him for the first time. "There's only one thing missing."

"What?" he asked, forehead crinkled, wondering what it could be and how quickly he would be able to find it for her.

"You."

A wave of terror washed over him. He wasn't sure what to say, but was acutely aware that the fate of his happiness rested in the coming minutes. Up until this moment, they had not defined their relationship. He considered it a miracle that he had two glorious months with her. He hadn't dared to dream, or ask, if he meant anything more than comfort to her. A small bubble of emotion that he refused to identify as hope, for fear it would burst, swelled in his heart. He dropped his other hand to her hip and cradled her in an embrace.

"I visit when I can." He left his statement open to her interpretation, effectively sending the ball lobbing back into her court.

A slight twitch of her eyebrow acknowledged the volley before her expression grew serious again. "I know you do. But I need you to know, that when you're not here," she struggled for the right words, to convey to this man before her how much he meant, "I miss you. I miss us. I need for there to be an us." She pressed her face into his shirt-front, and he had to strain to hear her next words. "Is there an us?" she asked, heart in her voice.

A chorus of angels sang hallelujah in his heart. Breathing a prayer of thanks to any deity that was listening, he finally let his lips curl into a smile. He wanted to shout for joy until the entire city rang with his cries. Instead, he raised his hand and lifted her face. For a moment he searched her eyes, drowning in the love he never thought he would see anywhere but in his dreams.

"I love you."

Her eyes teared up at his words. Men had spoken them to her before, but never with such conviction and with such a note of permanence. All that had come before was merely a prelude. This was her reason for going forward, the love of this man. She raised her hand to the back of his neck and started to guide his head down to meet hers. Before their lips met, she smiled softly, "I love you too, Giles."

~Fin~