Title: Betrayal
Author: LadyForASH
Rated: NC17
Disclaimer: You know that nothing belongs to me. Joss created it all. Please don't sue!
Feedback is a great motivator...
Later, when Giles wasn't overwhelmed with his own pain and despair and shock, he realized what was happening. Buffy was trying to escape. The pain was too much. The situation of her life and its circumstances was too much for her. Spike made her feel. He made her feel good in some small way, and that is what Buffy was addicted too. She didn't want to think about her reality. She didn't want to worry about her responsibilities, new and old. In some way, she didn't even want to live. She was fighting it in the only way she knew how, by degrading herself and doing things she never would have done.
But she was alive, and eventually she had to go on. Giles realized this, and blamed himself. If he hadn't turn and ran, maybe she would have come to him. At the very least, maybe he could have prevented her from turning to Spike just to feel something other then her pain. If Giles had known, he could have saved her from punishing herself. Instead, he was too lost in his own pain and despair. He had been so selfish! He was lost himself, how could he possibly find any way to help Buffy?
Giles must have made some small noise in the back of his throat when he saw that it was Buffy that was with Spike. He felt his knees go weak and he had to reach out and grab a bar on the railing to keep himself from falling. That's when Spike turned and his eyes met Giles'. But Spike didn't stop. No, he smiled, and his thrusts became harder. He was pressing his ownership, reveling in the Watcher's despair. The vampire had no thought of how Buffy felt, and how all of this effected her. He only thought of himself.
Buffy didn't say anything as Spike finished. She only shook with her own intense feelings. Her body shuddered, and Giles closed his eyes. His head bent and he gripped at the bar so tightly that his knuckles turned white.
Then Spike laughed. At the sound, Giles lifted his face and opened his eyes. In that moment, Buffy pulled away from Spike and looked up. She saw Giles, and a look of horror and shame splashed over her features. Spike continued to laugh, but neither Buffy nor Giles noticed.
Everyone else in the room vanished. The Bronze dropped away and the music faded. Buffy's eyes locked onto Giles.
Neither could breathe from the pain they were both in. It was several heartbeats later when Giles finally straightened up. Without a word, he turned and walked stiffly down the stairs, out of the Bronze, and into the night.