Title: Missing 2/7
Author: LadyForASH
Rated: Eventual FRAO, but FRT for now.
Pairing: Buffy/Giles
Spoilers: Everything. This takes place after Chosen.
Disclaimers: I own nothing. Joss is the bomb. Everything is his and I'm just taking out these wonderful characters and playing with them for awhile. Please don't sue.
Summary: Willow is missing!

Buffy came home later that afternoon to an empty house. Dawn had been packed up and sent off, with a huge grin on her face. Buffy was excited for her sister, and had made her promise to bring back many presents. Buffy put on a happy face as she waved Dawn off to London, but it was all a facade.

She made her way into the kitchen to pour herself some juice when she noticed the light blinking on her answering machine indicating she had a message. She clicked the button to play while she grabbed a glass out of the cabinet, and almost dropped the glass when she heard his voice wash over her from the machine.

"Um, hullo, Buffy. It's Giles here. Obviously. I hope you get this message soon. Xander is here. It appears that Willow is missing and we need your help. Please call me." He left his phone number and then after a pause added, "I hope you are well, Buffy." The last was said in a quiet and sad voice. It made Buffy's heart clench in her chest. He sounded so lost, and not like the Giles she knew at all.

"Oh no, Willow is missing." She slammed the glass down on the counter and quickly picked up the phone, dialing Giles's number rapidly from memory. She may not have phoned him often, but his number was not one she'd forget.

The phone rang and rang. With every ring, her heart beat ceased to pump. Finally he picked up the phone. It had only taken three rings, but to Buffy, it had seemed like years.

"Hullo?" Giles voice came and flooded her senses. She sunk to her knees on the kitchen floor and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Giles, it's me." It's all she could get out in that moment.

"Buffy." Giles said her name with relief as well as concern. He saw Xander jump in his seat on the sofa and gave the young man a small smile before standing and taking his cordless phone into the other room. He found himself wanting some privacy, even though it was Xander's visit that had provoked this moment.

"I got your message. Giles, what's happened? Willow is missing?"

Giles back tracked and explained to Buffy the events of the past few days. He told her how Xander had shown up on his doorstep because of Willow's spell, only she was supposed to have been teleported there as well. He told her his previous phone calls had come up with nothing. "We need to find her, Buffy."

"Of course we do!" Buffy wanted to scream at him. So, she was his last resort? He had called everyone but her, until now. She didn't though. Yelling at him now would prove nothing and solve nothing. It wouldn't get Willow back any faster. Buffy had matured a little at least, even surprising herself.

"I'll go to Africa. Dawn is gone with some friends for a week anyway, so I have some time. I can leave tonight."

"No, Buffy. I mean, we will go to Africa. I can't let you go alone. Besides, I can't just sit here. I have to do something."

Buffy was quiet for a moment, contemplating being with Giles again. She'd do anything for Willow. "Okay, Giles."

"I'll make arrangements right away and can meet you in London tomorrow morning. I can book us two tickets to Africa."

"Three tickets!" Giles turned to find Xander standing in the doorway to his room, holding three fingers up in the air, a snarl on his face. So much for privacy. He frowned but then gave Xander a nod. "Three tickets. I suppose we should all go as if we are some friends going on safari? I`ll make sure we have the appropriate gear waiting for us."

Buffy smiled sadly on her end of the phone. She had heard Xander's vehement demand, and she also recalled how Giles packed. This might prove interesting to say the least.

"Right then. It sounds like a solid plan. I'll clear some things up on my end and meet you both at Heathrow in the morning."

"Alright, and Buffy?" Giles gripped the phone tightly in his hand. Xander could see that his knuckles had turned white. Giles had turned his back to Xander and was speaking in quiet tones. Xander ducked out of the room to let Giles say what he had to say in privacy.

"Yes?" Buffy was still crouched on her kitchen floor, her eyes still closed as his soothing voice flowed over the telephone lines.

He wanted to say he was sorry. He was sorry for so much. The words were too much, and yet not enough. He wanted to say he missed her, but even that was inadequate compared to the crack that was in his heart due to her absence. He wanted to say he loved her. But those words sounded so tiny to his own ears.

Finally he settled on, "Thank you."

Buffy wondered what he was thanking her for. She started to get upset again. A knot formed in her stomach. The emotions of pain and anger and betrayal were all coming back. He hadn't said he missed her. He hadn't said he was sorry. There was no way she was saying either of those things either.

"See ya," she said and abruptly hung up the phone.

The tears flowed. Her silent crying turned into wracking sobs. How had her life come to this? How had she ended up so alone and afraid? The one man that she trusted beyond all others, the one man that was her other half, had torn her heart out and ripped it into a million pieces. Yet Giles didn't even have a clue. She'd never tell him either. She'd lost enough. She wouldn't lose her dignity as well.

Buffy wiped her eyes and got slowly to her feet. It was obvious that he didn't need her, so she would resolve to herself to not need him either. Not again, and not ever.

Willow needed her now. Willow was what mattered. Her relationship with Giles was dust, but perhaps she could re-build her and Willow and Xander's friendships. Buffy decided to focus on finding Willow and blot out everything else.

Xander hadn't heard Giles voice coming out of the other room for quite some time. He finally decided to peek his head back in. He saw that Giles was sitting on the sofa, his head in his hands. The phone lay on the cushion beside him.

Xander slowly walked into the room and sat down across from Giles. "We'll get Willow back, Giles. Don't worry." His voice was quiet but firm. He was startled to realize that Giles had been crying. The older man placed his palms in his eyes and rubbed before putting his glasses back on. He wasn't crying because of Willow, but Xander didn't need to know that.

"Yes, Xander. We will."

* * *

Buffy couldn't hold back the grin as she saw the two men lugging all that baggage up to the front counter. She had already checked in her few bags and was sitting just outside the lobby area waiting. They heard her familiar giggle right away.

"A little help here would be nice." Xander whined, pulling along one bag on wheels, another two bags strapped over his shoulder, and a fourth bag held precariously under his arm.

"Xander!" Buffy ran up and gave him a big hug, bags and all. He blushed but couldn't move underneath all that luggage and the crushing power of a slayer hug. "Buffy? Can't breathe." He gasped out.

"Oh, sorry Xan." She released him and took the bag under his arm, and the two shoulder strap bags. This left him with just the one bag on wheels.

"Hullo, Buffy." Giles had stood back and watched the scene, trying to be unobtrusive. His heart was in his throat at the sight of Buffy. She looked more beautiful than ever to him, if that was even possible. Her honey colored hair was pulled back with a yellow ribbon, and she seemed more fit than ever. She wasn't the sickly skin and bones he had remembered, and her skin was nice and tanned.

Buffy looked over Xander's shoulder to the tall man standing there. He looked tired. There was a brief light in his eyes though as he smiled at her. It was that small smile that always made her heart jump just a little in her chest. She nodded at him. "Hey, Giles." He was piled on with luggage too and they slowly made their way to the ticket counter so Giles could check the luggage.

"Are you okay?" She leaned against Xander's side, talking softly in his ear. Xander looked the worse for wear. His hair was practically standing on end and his face showed fatigue. He had worry lines around his one good eye and he seemed to be wearing a permanent frown.

"I'm scared, Buff. I don't know who has Willow or why."

"We'll get her back. That's what we do."

He looked down at her and a small smile formed on his face. "It is, isn't it?"

It took them forever to get through security. Buffy was unlucky enough to get put in the line where she had to take off her shoes and socks. She didn't set off any alarms. All her weapons were stashed in her suitcase and looked harmless enough. Wooden stake? No worries. Anything else they'd need Giles could get for them once they arrived in Africa. Watchers seemed to have connections in every corner of the globe, even now days.

Finally they were settled in their seats on the plane. Giles took the aisle seat so that he could stretch out his long legs and Xander had begged for the window seat. Buffy didn't mind. She sat between the both of them easily. Sometimes it was good to be small.

Giles grumbled something about hating airplanes and then banged his knee on someone's carry on bag as they walked by. "Damn it!" Buffy giggled, and he turned and gave her one of his patented glares. Then he relaxed and returned her smile. His eyes lit up again, the green irises darkening and swirling. Buffy lost herself in them for a moment, until Xander's elbow collided with her side. "Ouch. Hey, watch it Xander!"

"Sorry." He had been grabbing for a magazine in the back of the chair in front of him, and finally settled on a hunting magazine. Buffy rolled her eyes and settled back in her seat. Giles sighed, the moment forgotten. He would just have to relish her sitting beside him for as long as he could. He rubbed at his knee and closed his eyes. When the plane took off a while later, Buffy was asleep, leaning against Giles. He had his arm wrapped around her, lost in sleep himself. Xander flipped the pages of his magazine and glanced at his two friends sleeping beside him. They looked like they belonged together. He glanced out the window as the clouds dissipated, the plane climbing higher and higher. "Please, please let us find Willow."

They were all cranky by the time the plane landed. It had been a cramped, bumpy, child screaming in the back of the plane, flight. The three of them stood silently waiting for their bags at the luggage carrier. Buffy stood with her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at all the bags that were not hers passing by on the conveyor belt. Giles was hunched over, his back and neck sore from being in such a confining position for so long. He was leaning against a pillar also watching all the bags go by, when he wasn't sending Buffy glances from beneath his heavy lids. Even ill tempered Buffy was beautiful. He smiled softly as she stamped her foot down when a similar colored bag went past that still did not belong to her.

Xander had his hands pushed deep down into his pockets. He was uncharacteristically quiet. Every expression and movement spoke volumes of how worried he was for Willow. He blamed himself. He was the one that had come to Africa in the first place. She would never have been there if it wasn't for him. He scratched underneath his eye patch and sighed heavily, lost in his own thoughts.

"Finally!" Buffy blurted out and started pulling their various bags off of the carrier and onto a cart. Giles would be picking up more needed supplies that evening for their `safari'. He knew someone who knew someone...council connections...that would provide any weapons they might need. They really had no idea what they were getting into, so Giles thought it best that they be prepared for just about anything.

Once they had gathered all their bags they had to get a rental car. That too, took forever. Buffy and Xander fell together in a heap in the waiting area while Giles talked to the dyed red headed lady behind the counter. "She is so flirting with Giles," Buffy said under her breath as she observed the scene before her with a glint in her eye.

Xander cracked open his eye. He saw the woman reach out and touch Giles's sleeve, smiling in a beguiling manner. "Yup." He closed his eye and crossed his arms, trying his best to fall asleep.

Buffy elbowed him and then snorted. Then she saw Giles smile back at the woman, and she felt something tighten in her insides. She leapt up and stalked over to the counter. "So, we getting out of here or what, Giles? I'm in need of a good hot bubble bath and a bed." She pointedly did not look at the woman, her eyes only on Giles. He had colored somewhat at her expressing her needs, and nodded. "I think we are almost done here, Buffy." He turned back to the lady, giving her another small, shy smile. The lady frowned at Buffy before pushing some paperwork towards Giles. "Just sign here, and here, Mr. Giles. Will you be the sole driver or will the young lady also be getting behind the wheel?"

Giles paled as he took the pen and began signing the contract. "Oh no, just me, I assure you."

Buffy glared at him but he pretended not to notice.

The lady went over the contracts with Giles and then handed him the keys indicating to him on a map where the car would be parked. It was just your basic Jeep, nothing too fancy, but it would get them where they needed to go.

Buffy and Xander waited with the luggage cart while Giles left to get the car. They waited, and they waited, and then they waited some more. Xander sat down on one of the bags, chin on his hands. Buffy was getting more and more angry, however. By the time the jeep finally came into view, Buffy's arms were on her hips, a glare on her face, and she was tapping her foot.

"I couldn't find the bloody car! Soddin' thing wasn't where they said it would be. I had to traipse over half the country!" Giles pushed his glasses up further on his nose before opening up the back of the Jeep so they could throw their luggage in. Xander didn't say anything as he stood up, dragging a few of the bags over and helping Buffy and Giles place them inside. Buffy glanced at her friend and then up at Giles. His face also was a mask of concern. "Why don't we stop and get something to eat? I can call Brooks from there."

Xander just nodded. That was so unlike him that Buffy's mouth drooped in surprise. She gave another worried glance to Giles as they got in the car.

"Xander?" Buffy turned around in her passenger seat to look at Xander where he was lounging in the back seat. He quirked his one eye at her, "Yeah?"

"If you don't start believing in me again, I'm going to put the smack down on you." She glared at him, missing the small smile that played across Giles's face as he turned out onto the highway.

"Believe in you?" Xander paled a bit at the expression on his friend's face. "What do you mean? I believe in you."

"No you don't. If you did, you wouldn't look so glum now. I'm worried. Giles is worried. But we will get Willow back. We tackled The First Evil together...(sort of)...and won. Getting Willow back will be a piece of cake." There was more resolve in Buffy's voice then what she felt, but she didn't need to let Xander know that. Before he could answer she turned around and focused her vision on the road.

Thoughts ran through her mind. Did Xander believe in her anymore? Did any of them? How much did she have to accomplish in this lifetime... several of her lifetimes actually, before they trusted in her? Was she that terrible of a person that she could never gain their trust and faith?

"I'm sorry, Buffy. You're right, we will get her back. It's just that, I blame myself. If she's hurt or anything, it will be my fault." Xander closed his eye and leaned back against the seat back. His voice was tired and quiet.

"There is a lot of blame to throw around, Xander, and none of it belongs to you." Buffy acknowledged. The blame went back so far, it was never ending. It all came back to her, which ever path was chosen. Xander and Willow were just innocent bystanders. Perhaps even Giles was innocent. He was just trying to do his job to the best of his ability. Buffy was the one that always bucked the system, refused to listen, and then got messed up in unsavory vampire relations and the like. She sighed heavily, the inside of the Jeep becoming very oppressive.

Giles remained quiet. He could argue with them both, but he was wise enough to know words would do none of them any good. Something would have to happen, and soon, to make everyone believe in themselves again. He thought back to the time the Master had been defeated. They had all gone out together to celebrate. There was no blame then, no pain, no lies, and no betrayals. Maybe there was too much water under the bridge now to be able to return to that place of peace and family and innocence.

He turned into a McAfrica off of the highway. Even Africa had a McDonalds, to everyone's amusement. Did they eat beef? Buffy ordered a salad, figuring it was safer. Giles agreed and had the same. Xander, however, seemed to be coming back to himself as he ordered one of almost everything on the menu.

Once they had finished eating they went over the plan again. Giles would call Brooks, an old informant for the Council. Brooks could supply them with weapons, and other needs, as well as lead them on the `safari.' He had been in Africa for over twenty years and knew all the ends and outs. He was expecting them that evening, and then they would all head out, following Xander and Willow's previous route, first thing in the morning.

Once the plan had been discussed and finalized, and the last fry eaten, Xander excused himself to use the restroom leaving Buffy and Giles alone. The silence was awkward. Buffy played with her fork, not oblivious to Giles's observations of her. Finally she whipped her head up and glared at him. "What?"

He didn't flinch. "It's not your fault either, Buffy."

Her eyes narrowed at him over the table. "What are you talking about?"

He crossed his arms over his chest and glowered at her in exasperation. "You know what I'm talking about, don't be coy. None of this is your fault, just as it isn't Xander's fault. It happened, we'll deal with it, and we'll get Willow back safe and sound. What I don't understand is how you can blame yourself?"

Buffy set her fork down and sunk in her chair. "Because it is my fault. If I had been there, or been with Willow, none of this would have happened. We all scattered after Sunnydale, Giles, and nothing has been right since way before then." He couldn't really argue with her there. "Giles, I shut everyone out. I thought by doing that it would keep them safe. It would keep me safe. I just don't know what or who to be anymore. Nothing seems to be right."

Xander chose that moment to come back and join them. He could tell he was interrupting something, but by the look on the Slayer and Watcher's face, he figured it was a good thing. "I thought you were going to call that Bookie guy, Giles?"

Giles studied Buffy a moment longer, wishing he could comfort her and tell her how wrong she was. For the first time, he was beginning to understand how this Buffy had been molded, formed and taken shape by her painful past. He had always known it, but for the first time in a long time, he recognized it. He had been formed by his own past, and was always trying to overcome it. Now he knew he had to help Buffy do the same.

"Yeah, Giles. Let's get out of here." Buffy stood and resolutely began to gather the garbage on the table. Giles nodded, glancing at Xander. "It's Brooks, Xander, and he's not a bookie." "Whatever." Xander grinned, showing more of himself then he had in days. Giles stood and headed for the pay phones, pulling out his Council phone card and dialing the informant's number.

Xander helped pile the trash up and headed behind Buffy to the bussing station. "You two okay? I seemed to interrupt something there."

Buffy shrugged. "Everything's fine, Xander. Let's just get out of this place."

Giles hung up the phone and followed them back out to the Jeep. "Everything is ready. Brooks is expecting us. It should take us about an hour to get there."

"Why couldn't he have picked us up at the airport and saved us from having to get this rental car?" Xander asked, not failing to notice that Buffy had taken the back seat this time. He shrugged and slid in beside Giles in the front.

Giles started up the engine and glanced at his Slayer in the rear view mirror. He could actually see her walls coming up. After all this time, he could finally see it! He would do whatever it took to crash those walls down at his first possible chance. Finally, he had a purpose again. Now he knew what he had to do to help his Slayer. If only she would let him in. He knew he'd have a fight on his hands. Perhaps this trek into the jungle to find Willow would also help them to find themselves.

"Because he drives about as well as Buffy." Giles hit the accelerator as they hit the highway.

"Hey!" Giles met Buffy's glare in the rear view mirror and smiled. After a beat, her resolve softened and she smiled as well.

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