TITLE: Beauty 6/7
AUTHOR: Lily2332
DISCLAIMER: They’re not mine, don’t sue.

Note: I was seriously stuck on this for a while, so thank you to my fabulous beta reader, lost, for not only betaing, but for helping me write this part.

That night, Buffy and Giles set out for patrol as usual. It had become a nightly ritual for them. She would pretend to hunt and he would pretend not to notice when they didn't find any demons to slay. Not that Buffy minded much. She liked being out with Giles. It made it easier for her to pretend that nothing had happened and she was just a normal girl out for a walk with a friend. It wasn't until they'd passed their usual boundaries that Buffy began to feel uneasy.

"Where are we going?" she asked nervously, noticing for the first time that the large bag Giles carried was much larger than was needed for routine patrolling. He didn't answer, instead he continued walking quickly and purposefully through the streets. Buffy tried to block his path by standing in front of him. He looked at her for a moment, as though he might consider stopping, then walked around her.

"What's going on? Where are we going, Giles?" She knew how desperate she sounded, and hated it.

"We're going…to take care of a problem," he said, slightly out of breath by now. "Tonight we will take back what was stolen from you." He looked at her with determined satisfaction, and Buffy realized instantly what he meant.

"No!"

He was still moving forward, when she grabbed him by the arm. "Stop, Giles!" She'd grown accustomed to him doing whatever she asked, so when he shook off her grip and pressed on, she stood in shock for a moment.

She chased him but slowed as he reached the edge of campus. "Stop, please!" she begged, her face crumpled with fear. The terror she felt was far greater than what she'd felt when she'd been captured by Sunday, because this time Giles was involved.

<He's not going to stop!> she realized, a cry of fear escaping her.

Buffy quickly caught up with her watcher and seized him by the upper arms. He tried to keep walking, but she tightened her grip. She couldn't think rationally, her only thought was that she had to keep him here, safe, and away from Sunday and her minions. When he struggled against her, she threw him to the ground, pinning him there.

"Don't," she warned him. "Don't make me hurt you, please" he braced himself against the pain of her knees digging into his thighs. She doesn’t know what she was doing, he thought. Her face was just inches above his as she begged him, and Giles could clearly see the terror in her eyes.

She grabbed the front of his shirt in her hands, shaking him desperately as she spoke. "You can't do this to me again," she cried. "You promised!"

She saw him wince as his head struck the ground with her actions, but the enormity of what she was doing didn't register. She was set on one thing only: Keep Giles with her.

"You said you wouldn't leave me again!"

"Buffy," he managed to say, "You're safe with me, you can do this!"

She didn’t believe him, and refused to even try. She wasn't just afraid of what might happen to them both if they went after Sunday; she was afraid that Giles would see her fail again. She felt his body struggling, fighting against her, trying to get free.

"You can't sit on me forever," he panted, trying to sit up. She pushed him back down roughly, and for a second, he didn't know her. Her eyes blazed with bewilderment, fear, and anger as she clutched his shoulders, making sure he couldn't move.

He didn't know if she was even aware that she was hurting him, and it did hurt. His legs, shoulders, and aching lungs were screaming out in pain, even if he wasn't.

Suddenly, she stopped, releasing her grip slowly and sitting back slightly. He gasped for the breath that he hadn't been able to take with her crushing his chest. Reality began to sink in for Buffy. What had her life come to that she was using physical force on her watcher?

"Giles," she whispered, shaking her head in confusion. "I'm so sorry."

Giles saw that his slayer was for the moment at least, physically and emotionally paralyzed. He took this advantage, pushing her off and getting to his feet. Ignoring her protests, he set off toward campus once again.

"Giles, please!" she shouted after him. "Come back!" She took a few steps towards him, but her legs soon stopped. She stood, unmoving, as he walked away, fear having stolen her ability to follow. She stared at him, willing him to stop, to return to her so she could keep him safe.

He didn't turn, and as he stepped onto the path that led through the park, Buffy broke down, for he was certain to find what he was looking for.

Buffy buried her face in her hands and fell to her knees, her cries becoming more and more incoherent. "Don't go Don't go Please no Giles!"

He kept walking until her cries became indistinguishable from the rest of the nighttime sounds. She'd have to deal without him for once, after all, he was doing this for her. This is what he kept telling himself as he walked away.

She felt light-headed from the sobbing and her ears were filled with a roaring that almost drowned out her cries. When she finally looked up, it was only to see him swallowed by the evening mist.

Why couldn't she go after him? She needed to protect him, but even through her fear of what he would face, a part of her gave another reason to not follow. He hadn't protected her when she'd faced those same horrors alone.

<Can I be so cruel?> she wondered at her own thoughts. She reached up and lightly ran her hand over her scars.

<No! She won't hurt him. I won't let her.> But you will, her inner voice said. Just like last time. You couldn't protect him from Angel and you won't be able to protect him from Sunday, either. She got up with trembling legs, telling herself that she was going after her Watcher. But with one last longing look towards campus, she set off in the opposite direction, barely even seeing her way through her tears. She lost track of time as she wandered, her mind shutting off to protect her from the guilt and shame.

Buffy walked on, oblivious of her surroundings. Guilt began to eat through the shock that had set in. <I'm getting help>, she thought to herself. Liar! the voice in her head cried. You're going to let him die, and the last thing he'll think is that you abandoned him. Again.

Wrapping her arms around her shaking body, she ducked into an alley, no longer certain that her legs would carry her. She leaned against the wall, marveling at how out of control she felt. She wondered if she might be in shock, and wished that she'd listened more closely while learning first aid in school. < Remember what Giles taught you. Breathe. Focus.> She took large gulping breathes then began to giggle as she remembered how she'd teased him for having a Miyagi-moment. The laughter quickly became louder and higher pitched until it was an uncontrollable cackle. <Oh god. Is this what being hysterical is like?>

She wasn't certain if she were laughing or crying, just that she wanted to stop but couldn't. She reached desperately for a place deep inside, where the old Buffy still lived. There, she found enough strength to slowly regain some control. Her surroundings suddenly came into focus. She felt her heart chill as she failed to recognize where she was. Buffy fought down the panic that threatened to engulf her again. <I'm ok. I just need to find out where I am,> she told herself, but couldn't ignore how her hands shook when she wiped the tears from her face.

Her eyes went wide at the sound of someone coming. She shrank into the shadows, being as quiet as she could, but all too aware of the sniffling, whimpering sounds that she couldn't seem to stop. She'd forgotten who she was, forgotten how to use the power in being the Slayer. The figure passed, seemingly unaware of her presence. Buffy's heart threatened to burst from her chest. <Dammit!> She slammed her fist against the brick wall in frustration. She hadn't been this frightened since her first night as a Slayer with Merrick. The thought forced a whimper from deep inside her. Another failure. Another loss. <I can't lose Giles.>

Buffy emerged from the alley with a shred of a plan. The time. She needed to know how much longer until sunrise. Somehow, this sense of purpose, no matter how small, soothed her nerves. She scanned the area carefully before heading down the street. She kept to the shadows to avoid detection, years of hunting the things that lurked there now helping to keep her hidden. Keep moving, she told herself. The streets were still unfamiliar, but the buildings looked in better condition, a sign that she was returning to civilization. It galled her to slink from alley to alley, too afraid to fight the demons and too afraid to face humanity.

When she saw the face of the clock tower, she couldn't believe it. She was afraid of what was happening to her. How could so many hours have passed without her knowledge? The night was gone. Enough time for...anything...to have happened. A cold hard ball formed in the pit of her stomach. She had to do something, but her mind refused to form coherent thoughts. Instead her mind was a whirl of images. Giles smiling at her at the prom. Giles holding her when she'd gone to his place and found him crying. Giles' face after they'd shared the whisper of a kiss. Those images formed in her mind and slowly turned to red, Sunday's taunts ringing in her ears.

It seemed impossible that her Watcher would have fared any better with Sunday than she had. Wishing there was some way she could slow the rising sun, or better yet stop it completely, Buffy set out for the place she thought of as home. She felt a tremor as she wondered if she'd find him there, putting the kettle on, or if he'd even made it home at all.

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