Title: Poof 3/10
Author: Manic
Feedback: manic1066@yahoo.com (I'll always respond)
Disclaimer: Mutant Enemy, Fox and Joss own everything to do with Buffy. I'm just taking the toys out for a spin

Buffy took Willow by the arm and led her back to their dorm room listening to Willow as she mumbled "goat and men" intermittently. Once they returned to the room and closed the door behind them, Buffy deposited Willow on her bed as Willow wound down yet another chorus of "Old Mac Donald."

"Buffy," Willow hesitantly asked registering the change in venue for the first time. "We left Giles'?"

"Whew," replied Buffy; sitting on her bed opposite Willow, "I thought you were going to be on the goat farm for days."

Willow looked at Buffy, who still looked a bit shell-shocked. "Are you okay Buffy? Because Giles really went off on you."

"Oh," Buffy weakly laughed, "That penetrated the fog?"

"It was pretty bad."

"Do you think Giles hates me?"

"No, not hate guy," Willow replied moving to sit next to Buffy on her bed, " I just think he's like anger guy right now."

"When do you think he came in on our conversation Willow?" Asked Buffy turning to face Willow.

"In the middle? Maybe? Somewhere between Riley big, Giles Viagra."

"What are we going to do Willow?" Buffy said looking a little lost. "To kill this Yahoo demon," It was a measure of how distraught both girls were as Willow didn't even bother to correct Buffy's mispronunciation of the demon's name and just let Buffy continue in her diatribe. "Giles and I have to get horizontal and he can't even stand to look at me. And where does he get off with that attitude?" Buffy began to lose the lost look and gain steam.

"Buffy, calm down"

"I've died killing monsters in this town," Buffy said, getting up and pacing about the room. "I sent my lover to hell, barely had a date in high school and blew up a mayor. Everything I've done since I was fifteen has revolved around this scared duty crap and the undead. Do you know how hard it is to get the smell out of my clothes? I burnt down a gym; got expelled; went from prom queen to class freak; and Giles is like 'let this one live' because he's in a little snit? Where does he get off? He's the responsible one. For all these years all I've heard from him is sacred duty, destiny, blah blah blah. And now he gets all, what? Pffit to duty, let the demon live because his feelings are hurt? I was sixteen and knew I was going to die. The least he could do is take one for the team."

"Maybe Giles has some issues we don't know about."

"Willow," Buffy responded, stopping her pacing to stare at Willow, "we don't get to have issues. We have to do what we have to do to keep the world safe. Prevent the Hellmouth from opening, stop the Ascension, and have sex with scented candles. Oh God," moaned Buffy, crouching down and putting her head in her hands.

"Buffy?" Asked Willow, putting her hand atop Buffy's head.

"I just equated having sex with Giles to blowing up the school and killing a giant snake."

The two just looked at each other and began to laugh until their sides hurt. Willow slid off the bed and joined Buffy on the floor laughing all along. They calmed down, looked at each other on the floor and said as one "Snake." "Goat." Off they went again. They were still laughing when someone knocked on their door.

Buffy hauled herself off the floor and went to answer the door. Because, this being the Hellmouth, a person never, ever, upon pain of probable death told anyone to simply 'come in.'

She was cured of her giggles instantly as she caught sight of Riley in her doorway. A bruised, battered and bandaged Riley.

"Riley!" Exclaimed Buffy, tugging Riley into the room and pushing him down onto her bed. He grunted as Buffy began to look over his wounds.

"Buffy, I'm fine," said Riley as he tried placating her. "Nothing serious. My team encountered a HST and nothing we threw at it stopped it. It shrugged off everything off and went through my team like they were ants. Nothing we did fazed it. Then, it got really hostile. We can't track it. It absorbs pheromones, or doesn't emit them. We were doing a routine patrol in sector 7-A and it just hit us. Forest has a broken arm and Graham was knocked unconscious so I really got off easy."

"Oh, Riley."

"Buffy, really, I'm fine." Grunted Riley as he levered himself off the bed. "I just came over to see if you knew anything about this HST."

"Can you describe it?" Asked Willow.

Riley began to recite the various statistics of the HST, but since they were all in meters and multitasking properties, Buffy began to get a bit lost. But then Riley mentioned the three horns on the demon and the green-purple color and Buffy just knew it was the Yo-Yo demon. And what was she supposed to say? 'Yes Riley, I know what demon you're talking about and the only way to kill it is for me to have sex with Giles.' That would go over well. Buffy could just see Riley, from Iowa, going 'Sure, Buffy, go have sex with Giles, I'll just wait over here and did you decide whether or not to come home with me over Spring Break? Because my parents, sister and grandparents really want to meet you.' Right. That would work.

"Well," began Willow.

"Giles has a few ideas," interrupted Buffy, glaring at Willow, daring her to start quoting the ritual. "In fact I'm off to Giles' now to see if he's got a handle on the thing."

"Great!" Said Riley, swaying slightly, "I've got to get back to the infirmary, but I think Professor Walsh has something in mind too. We can coordinate our actions later. Beep me when you've got some information and we can set up our action plan."

"Plan? Sounds great Riley, I'll let you know." Said Buffy as she escorted him out the room. Closing the door behind him, Buffy turned to Willow, cocked her head and said "You don't think Giles hates me?"

"Giles could never hate you Buffy."

Buffy sat on Willow's bed, as Willow sat down beside her, Buffy asked Willow the one thing she had been dreading. "Is it really possible for Riley to become my Watcher?"

"Well, maybe."

"Isn't that a yes or no question?"

"Giles would know for sure." At that Buffy got up and went to her desk and looked at the pictures on the bulletin board. Focusing on a picture of Giles at the edge of the Scooby Gang, she spoke to Willow without turning around. "Do you think Giles would stay if Riley was my Watcher?"

"Stay? Maybe. I mean he's not an official Watcher seeing how they fired him and everything, and he's still here, so I think he would. Besides all the demony books are his, and he's been doing this a really long time, so I guess he would. Unless he got a better offer or had to go? Would you need him?"

And that was the question wasn't it thought Buffy. Did she need Giles. He was all into the 'go grow-up' thing. Of course he'd said that after she'd gone all icky after discovering him in that robe, without an ascot, that brought out the Hugh Hefner in him. Hefner, who was ninety and had all these blond bimbos with him, a lot of big blond boob things. Olivia wasn't blond. She was all dark and exotic looking. Jenny had dark hair. Buffy shifted her eyes to her mirror and her blond hair.

"Riley thinks all this is fun." Buffy commented over her shoulder to Willow.

"All what?"

"Slaying, demon hunting, all the weirdness that is the Hellmouth. It's an adventure. He really thinks it's a cool thing that he's doing. Giles doesn't."

"Doesn't what?"

"Think it's a neat thing." With that Buffy collected herself and turned to Willow. She gathered up various salvage items and stuffed them in her duffel, walked to the door and said to Willow , "Let's go."

"Go?"

"To Giles. Actually I'm off to Giles. You're off to the Magic Shop to get all the stuff for the ritual. Do you remember what to get?"

"Sure, Buffy, it's just your basic ritual stuff, candles, oils and few herbs, the only thing that might be hard are the candles, the shop kinda had a run on them, mid-term blessings and all that. But..."

"But? Will, you can't get But-face here." Said Buffy as she and Willow exited the dorm and headed out across the quad. "The demon's gone after my boyfriend and the boyfriend being the military type is just going to keep going back until it looks like... what's that battle?"

"Battle?"

"The one where all the people died."

"Can you be a little more specific on the century? Because usually in a battle, with guns and stuff, people die, lots of people, so I'd need a little more information before we can relate the Initiative - Yeoz demon battle with any modern frame of reference."

"Willow!" Buffy exclaimed. "Look the point here," and with this Buffy grabbed Willow's arm and stopped Willow, turning her so they looked at each other. "It won't stop. Riley tried, I've tried, and it's only been luck that no one has been killed. And now the demon's gone and pissed off the military. They tend to come back with bigger guns. And they won't stop this thing. So before anyone actually gets killed, Giles and I have to do the ritual. And before we can do the ritual, we need the oils and stuff. Since I have to be over at the big denial guy convincing him to have sex with a nineteen year old college student, something my Dad would be into in no time flat, you have to get the supplies."

With that, Buffy just collapsed onto the nearby bench with her head down.

"Buffy?" Asked Willow, sitting beside her and putting her arm around Buffy's shoulders.

"I'm going to cheat on Riley. With Giles." Buffy began to laugh, bitterly. "I just want to know when the perks kick in, Willow." She said as Willow stroked her back. "Other people with sacred duties get perks, don't they? The Pope has a cool hat, the Pope-mobile,and that cool Pope-On-A-Rope soap thing. I get to see Giles naked. He gets to see me naked. With oil."

"You guys could always, just, you know, move things out of the way."

"Way to go Will, that sounds much better. "

"I. I didn't mean." Willow ran out of words, because there really wasn't much she could say.

"Look, Will," Buffy continued, standing up and facing Willow; "I'll go to Giles and iron things out. Please. Just get the stuff and meet me there."

"Sure, Buffy." Bounced Willow up, ready to go off on her mission. "But Buffy?"

"What?"

"I might need to ask Tara for some of the stuff. Like candles. And she's going to ask. Because we do magic together, and other stuff, what they're for, and can I talk to her about this? Because I really don't want to keep secrets from her. And I don't think I can."

Buffy just looked at Willow.

"Please don't make me keep a secret from Tara. Please. I mean one of the problems with Oz, we did the secret thing. First it was I think I'm a werewolf, than it was I like this werewolf girl and then it was, oh by the way, I like girls now. So I really can't, I don't want to, keep secrets from Tara. And she can keep quiet. She doesn't really know Giles that well, so she really wouldn't go talking to anyone. Plus, it's not like you and I ever double-date with Tara and Riley. I think it might be part of the Don't Ask Don't Tell thing, but I'm not, going to ask. Riley. But I really don't want to keep secrets from Tara. Plus, if Tara knows, I can talk to her when the wiggage kicks in. Because it will. Because you and Giles. Don't make me not be able to talk about this to anyone, please." Willow asked looking miserable.

"No one else. Ever. Not Xander. Not Anya. Not anyone. If Riley ever finds out about this you know he won't understand. And Xander? With Giles? That something I don't want to see. You can't ever tell. I can't ever tell. Giles won't tell. Ever."

"We won't, besides, with Tara, I can get the frequent buyer's discount at the Magic Shop." Responded Willow looking up.

"Meet me at Giles as soon as you have the stuff."

"Sure!" Replied Willow, turning away and hurrying down the path to Tara's dorm.

"Will!" Buffy called. Willow turned back to Buffy, standing in the shadow of a tree, "Not ever."

Willow nodded at Buffy and continued along her way. Buffy watched Willow's back before turning and walking in the direction of Giles' apartment. Buffy walked through the streets of Sunnydale. Following a path she had walked hundreds of times before, but never feeling this before. She entered the Spanish courtyard, walked down the steps to Giles' door. Before she could knock, or walk in, the door opened. And there he was. So she went in and Giles closed the door behind her.

NEXT