Title: Never Hurt Again
Series: The Again Series (part3)
Author Morrwen
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Distribution: Gabi - Dee - Viv - Anyone else just ask!
Disclaimers: For me? Really? Oh, okay. Joss owns 'em; I just play with 'em. ;-)
Spoilers: Since this is gonna have to get a plot to fill the many requests for a sequel <g>.let's say all the way through season five. Of course, if I have to have a plot.I have to have angst. ;-)
Notes: This is part three of what has become the 'Again Series'. Part one was 'Not again'; part two was 'Once Again'.
Summary: I'm still not gonna say ;-)
Feedback: YES! Please, pretty please.with Giles on top. Okay, with naked Giles on top. :)
Dedication: To all those who said - 'MORE Morr!' Extra thanks to Donna for helping with the title and getting me 'unstuck' ;-)
"Dammit!" Buffy quickly stepped back as the coffee-pot crashed to the floor, shattering on impact, its contents leaving a trail across the floor, the handle still in her hand.
She threw the handle in the sink in disgust and bent down to carefully pick-up the broken pieces of glass. Once the large pieces were up she used the broom and dustpan and finally the mop the finish cleaning up coffee and glass.
"You really shouldn't have slayed the coffee-pot Buff."
Buffy whirled to see her sister standing in the kitchen doorway, laughing.
"That is not funny Dawn. Behave. I didn't sleep well and now, I haven't had coffee.
You really don't want to start with me right now."
Dawn just laughed and replied, "Well if you wouldn't be moaning and screaming all night, maybe you could sleep."
Buffy flushed to the roots of her hair before turning away, changing the subject. "What do you want for breakfast Munchkin?"
Dawn however, wasn't giving up. "So Buffy, were you thinking about that guy Peter that Willow says just moons over you? Didn't she say he even asked you out?"
Buffy gave Dawn a withering look. "Breakfast, Dawn. What do you want?"
Dawn laughed, shook her head knowingly and walked over to the panty to get her breakfast. "Just cereal. I can get it. Oh, if it's okay with you, I'm going over the Melinda's for the weekend. She's got this new computer game and some new CD's. Her folks said I could stay till Monday if it's okay with you."
Buffy smiled in relief at the change of topic and at her sister's excitement. "They want you for four whole days? My, they are brave."
"Oh ha ha. Can I go please?"
"Of course you can go Munchkin. I do want to bring you, just so I can talk to Melinda's parents, okay?"
Dawn sighed, "God, you sound just like Mom used to."
Buffy smiled sadly but teased, "Someone still has to keep you in line."
Buffy turned back to the counter and put away her unused coffee cup.
"Finish your breakfast and get ready and I'll bring you over on my way to the Giles'."
Dawn glanced at her sister. "I thought he was out of town on some buying trip, 'til tomorrow?"
"He is, but he's expecting a package today and I told him I'd get it and sign for it. The delivery guy is supposed to be there around noon."
She glanced at the clock. Eight-thirty.
"Since we both have to beautify ourselves we better hurry. " Buffy grinned wickedly at her sister.
"Last one up the stairs gets all the cold water."
Both sisters took off up the stairs laughing.
~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy opened the door the Magic Shop, package in hand. "Hey Anya."
Anya glanced away from her customer and nodded to Buffy before continuing to explain why bat-wings were much more preferable than frog-eyes.
Buffy laughed as she made her way to the back of the shop.
She almost dropped the package when she saw him leaning over a crate, pulling out a large carved stone figure.
She was instantly mesmerised at the vision in front of her.
His shirt was off and his skin was slick from exertion. His muscles rippled across his broad back as he deposited the stone figure next to the others on the floor before reaching into the box for the next one. His jeans hugged his body in a way Buffy wished she could. Encircling his slim waist, jutting out snuggly over his firm tight backside and hips only to glide breathlessly down firm strong thighs and calves.
She couldn't move; she couldn't breathe. Giles' body was even more luscious in reality than in the dreams that seemed to never go away.
The package slipped from her hands and crashed to the floor.
Giles spun around at the sound, and found Buffy starring at him with an expression he'd never seen before. At her feet was a busted box, the contents spilling out onto the floor.
"Buffy?" When she didn't respond, he grew concerned. She looked flushed. He walked over and reached out to touch her face. She was so warm.
Again, he spoke to her. "Buffy?" His tone filled with concern.
She moaned when he touched her face again.
He drew back sharply. His mind in shock. Lust? Was that the expression on her beautiful face? Could she actually be? About him?
The thought caused his breath to catch and sent a jolt of pleasure straight to his groin.
He gently shook her, "Buffy.."
She snapped out of her fantasy to find Giles standing in front of her, his hands on her shoulders and a lopsided boyish grin on his face.
Buffy flushed down to her toes and pulled away from him. She had never been so embarrassed in her life.
This cannot be happening she thought.
To cover her humiliation she lashed out in anger; desperate to hurt him so she could deflect her feelings.
She moved away from his touch as if burned.
"What in the hell are you doing here? I go pick up this stupid package for you because you're out of town, only you're not! Why not just have the damn thing come here?"
Before he could speak, she whirled back on him and delivered her verbal stab. "I missed out on a lunch date for this. Peter, this guy from my psych class finally asked me out. But noooo, I said I couldn't today because I promised an old friend, I would take care of an errand. Now he's out of town for two weeks. One more chance for time away from musty old things down the drain. Thanks a lot Giles!"
She turned and fled out of the shop ignoring the look of surprise and pain on his handsome face. She never once looked back.
Giles stood in stunned silence.
Finally, he stooped down and began picking up the books that had spilled out of the broken box.
He was startled to see another pair of hands move to help him. He looked up hoping to see Buffy but saw Anya instead. He sighed and returned to the task at hand.
"Giles, she had no right to say those things to you. You know that don't you?" Anya was angry. When next she saw Buffy, she intended to let her know just what she thought of her.
Giles smiled at Anya's unexpected attempt at kindness. "It doesn't matter, Anya."
He couldn't describe how much what she'd said had hurt him. He also felt incredibly foolish for thinking she could possibly desire him. He was letting his dreams affect his reality.
Between them, the books were finally off the floor. Giles remained crouched on the floor, not sure what to do anymore.
Anya could feel the pain he was in and it hurt her. He was family too now, just like Xander. Okay not "just like" Xander, but she did care for him. Before she even knew what she was doing, she knelt down behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
"You should go. Xander will be here in a few minutes and we'll close up. " She gave him a tight hug. "You deserve much better than what she gives you. Don't forget it. You mean a lot to a lot of people. Xander just worships you."
Giles patted her hand, amazed at this show of affection and concern.
"I think I will leave you to lock up."
He stood and walked over to get his shirt, feeling suddenly very self-conscious. As he put it on, he paused, turned to her with gratitude in his green eyes. His voice soft, "Thank you.I.you.well, you're not usually." he glanced away, "thank you."
He headed out of the shop, not knowing where he was going.
~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy could still feel shame colouring her face. How could she have done that? How could she have deliberately hurt him like that? Why did she always get angry with him these days? She could still see the expression hurt on his face.
She felt the heat in her cheeks flame even more as she remembered her reaction to his bare skin.
God, she was getting wet just thinking about it. She wanted to feel him inside of her so badly. Her need for him was becoming unbearable. She'd never felt this way before. She knew it wasn't love. That was what she had felt for Angel. So, what was it? She fanned herself with the bottom of her shirt, wishing she could cool her internal temperature.
She looked up at the bright sky wondering why it wasn't night-time so she could work out her frustrations by pummelling a vamp to dust.
Definitely gonna patrol with the sword tonight, she thought. She felt a serious need to deliver gruelling deaths.
"Buffy!"
She turned at the sound and found Peter standing across the street waving at her.
Damn, she thought. She could not deal with this right now. What excuse would she use to get out of seeing him this time?
She plastered a fake smile on her face, waved 'hello' and kept walking down the street.
She heard him yell across to her, "Hey, Buffy, wait up."
"Oh shit," she said as she stopped, turned and waited for him to catch up.
He was good-looking. There was no denying it. Tall, muscular, blue eyes, thick brown hair and a smile some women would kill to have him bestow it on them.
Why was she not attracted to him? Okay, she knew she was attracted to Giles. Big time. Still, that did not preclude her being attracted to other guys did it?
"Hey Peter," she said as he finally caught up with her.
"Hey. I thought you were running errands for annoying people today. At least I think that's how you said it," he finished with a laugh.
Buffy however found no humour in being reminded of it and spoke more sharply than she intended. "I was. I really have to go now. I have to be someplace else."
Before she could go, he touched her shoulder to stop her. "Buffy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
All the anger just deflated out of her. "I'm the one who's sorry. I just seem to not be able to say things I don't mean. I just keep on hurting people. Why do you think I do that?"
His brows drew together. "I get the feeling you're not talking about me, are you?"
She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I just." She sighed and slumped down on the bench behind them. Her frustration had reached the breaking point and she spilled out everything she was feeling. All the jumbled emotions came tumbling out incoherently. "I mean, we spend a lot of time together . He's my friend. But he's older. And he's a major part of my life in all areas but one. And that one is separate from other parts of it. Only he's starting to spill over into that part. I mean when did he become so sexy? Why do I keep having these dreams about him? I'm not supposed to think about him that way. I mean, he's Giles.and.it's not supposed to be this way.and I don't like it. He has his place and he should stay in it and stay out of my bed." For the third time that day, Buffy flushed in absolute embarrassment. "I mean out of my head. God, why do I dream about him? Cause I can't figure it out. Then, I yelled at him today for something that's not even his fault. The look on his face was just awful. Why would I deliberately hurt someone I love that much?" Her head shot up and she looked at a stunned Peter.
"Oh. My. God. I love him? Oh shit, I love him. That's it. That's why. I have been so blind."
She stood up and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, oh thank you. I love him! I didn't know that. How could I not know that? Why was I so afraid to think that?"
She kissed him on the cheek, turned and started running back the way she came.
Peter sank down on the bench wondering what had just happened and wishing he were the one she was running to.
~~~~~~~~~~
By the time Buffy made back to the Magic Shop, she was panting.
She pushed open the door and ran in. "Giles. Giles!"
Anya and Xander walked out of the backroom at the sound of her voice. Anya sounding as angry as she looked . "He left. I told him to leave. He didn't deserve that from you. So go away."
With that she turned and walked away.
Buffy looked at Xander. "Was he going home?"
Xander shook his head. "Don't know. I wasn't here and that's a good thing. How could you talk to him like that?"
She looked Xander straight in the eye and answered him with all the sincerity she had. "I love him, Xand. Only I didn't get it.until now. But, now I get it."
Xander scoffed, "You love him? Damn, Buff, I'd hate to see how you'd treat him if you hated him."
She dropped her head, starring at her feet, her voice barely above a whisper. "I know. I just.I just didn't get it before."
She looked up and walked over to Xander, needing to make him understand.
"I love him. Do you know what that means Xander? Because I didn't, at least until now. It means forever. Giles doesn't do things halfway. He deserves better than someone who can't give him everything. And yes, I know that sounds strange. Be a bitch so I don't have to love him. But what it comes down to. I was trying to make him not love me. I didn't realise it, but it's true. I wanted him to hate me. I have so much power to hurt him. I thought making him care less, would take that power away. But he truly loves me. And I love him the same way and he has that same kinda power over me. And that makes me so afraid of how much he could hurt me if he ever left me."
Xander looked at her in surprise. "I didn't know you could be so deep."
Buffy glanced at him sharply but he was smiling. "Buffy, just stop hurting him okay? I mean I'm glad, I think, that you've had this big revelation and all but try to think about what this has been like for him. You can be cruel when you want to Buffy. He can only take so much."
Buffy reached out and pulled him into a hug. "Thanks Xand. Thanks for understanding. And for not hating me too much."
Xander laughed and kissed her cheek. " Go make Giles smile, okay? That will take all the badness away."
Buffy squeezed his hand before letting go and walking out of the shop.
~~~~~~~~~~
After an hour of searching, she found him sitting on a bench in front of an old crypt. His shoulders were slumped and he looked tired. She knew she was the cause of his pain. She also knew she had to ability to heal him.
She smiled as she drank in the sight of his long lean form.
She knew that no matter what had happened before, somehow tonight, she was gonna make her dream come true.