Title: Every Cloud
Author: Neena (varscona_pal@yahoo.ca)
Pairing: Giles/Larry
Rating: R (slash)
Disclaimer: These characters and the world of Buffy belong to joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. This story is for fun only.
Summary: Set in the alternate universe created by Anya in season 3 (“The Wish”). Giles finds taking on the role of head white-hat involves more than just fighting demons.
Additional: This is my entry for the 2002 songfic awards, set to Bryan Adams’ “Everything I Do”.

Giles sat alone at the table in the library, an unsharpened stake in one hand and a knife in the other. He’d been sitting like that for an hour or more, staring blankly ahead.

It had been a day worse than most. They’d lost two students today—one of them a white-hat he’d taken under his wing only two months ago. Now there was one more vampire to contend with, and Oz and Larry had just helped him incinerate the remains of their fallen comrade.

He knew he should be preparing for future battles, but he found he was too numb to move. God, he was tired—so tired. The Council had once again denied him the reinforcements he’d requested—the blind idiots! It seemed o Giles that he’d been abandoned here on the Hellmouth, and it was up to him alone to prevent all manner of hell from breaking loose.

And he was losing the battle. The ragged band of teenagers that had joined him in his fight were being whittled away one by one, and every time it felt like a stake was being driven through his heart. They were too young to have to face this kind of danger. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right.

Giles suddenly sensed a presence behind him and he spun around and out of his chair in one fluid motion, brandishing his knife.

Larry jumped back, his hands raised in defence.

“What have I told you about sneaking up on people like that?” Giles snapped. His heart was hammering in his chest—Larry had no idea how close he’d come to being the next casualty.

“Sorry, Rupert. You were a million miles away there. I think a marching band could have snuck up behind you without raising an alarm.”

Giles knew he was right. He’d been careless, sitting with his back to the door and lost in his thoughts. He smiled sheepishly at Larry and offered him a seat.

Larry and Oz had been his first recruits after he’d lost Willow and Xander to the Master. Larry, more than Oz, had become somewhat of a fixture in Giles’ life. Giles looked at the tough-looking young man sitting next to him and immediately saw through the façade to the petrified boy who’d approached him two years ago. Larry had just lost both parents in a vampire attack, and Oz had brought him over to Giles’ place. Giles took him in, teaching him to fight, and helping him get back on his feet. He soon found he’d as good as adopted the boy. He was grateful for the companionship—they fought side-by-side, and then went home to either celebrate their victories or mourn their losses.

Larry rested a beefy hand on Giles’ shoulder, understanding that this time it was Giles who needed comforting the most. Larry was more than willing to oblige—Giles still had no idea just how much he meant to him. If it hadn’t been for Rupert, Larry knew he would have given up long ago. Now he knew he would fight to the death to defend this man. That was what kept him going—what made this existence even remotely bearable. It killed him to see Giles in such a fragile state. He wanted so desperately to wrap him in his arms and hold onto him forever.

Giles looked into Larry’s penetrating blue eyes, and put on a brave face. He had to be strong—he couldn’t afford to show weakness; not when people like Larry were counting on him to see them through this.

“Been a day, huh?” Larry started.

“Definitely. But at least it’s almost over.” Giles gestured to the clock on the wall. “Five more minutes and we’ll have a brand new day of unmentionable horrors to face.’

“Don’t say things like that. Tomorrow will be better, I promise.”

Giles smiled at Larry and gave him a pat on the shoulder as he stood up to leave. “I’m sure you’re right. I don’t see how it could be worse than today, at any rate.”

If ever a statement required a knock on wood, it was that one. But they never got the chance. The library door smashed open and two large, leather-clad vampires strode in.

The larger vampire turned to the other and said: “Kill the old one. I’ll turn the young one.” They split up and swooped down on their respective targets. Giles had no time to reach the weapons locker, and cursing, he tossed away the blunt piece of wood he was holding. After a few well-placed punches and two narrow misses, he was able to break away long enough to grab the knife he’d left on the table. It might not be enough to kill the demon, but it might slow it down a bit.

Larry was holding his own against the other vampire. What he lacked in prowess he more than made up for in passion. Every blow, every kick that he landed was payback for all the grief he’d suffered at their hands. He managed to back his vamp against the bookshelves, and with a speed born of practice, he pulled a stake from his jacket pocket and plunged it into the creature’s chest. It collapsed into a dusty pile at his feet.

Larry checked on Giles and saw that he’d been pinned against the table. Brandishing his stake, he raced across the room and landed on the vampire’s back. He heard a yelp just before he sank the weapon found its mark. When the dust cleared, Larry found himself on top of Giles whose face was pinched with pain. The knife protruded from his chest at an odd angle, and blood was oozing thickly from the wound.

“Oh God, Rupert!” Larry scrambled off the man, and for a moment his mind raced in panic. Then his training kicked in and he became all business. He took off his jacket and laid it under Giles’ head, then he ran into Giles’ office to grab the first-aid kit and call for an ambulance.

When he returned, Giles tried to sit up, but that only made the knife dig itself in deeper. He lay back again, his face grey and his breathing laboured.

“Lie still, Rupert. An ambulance is on its way.” He ripped Giles’ shirt and carefully pulled the material away from the knife. He knew enough to leave the knife in place, and packed gauze all around it, using his hands to apply pressure to the wound.

Giles winced. “How could I have been so stupid—I should have been better prepared.”

“Shh…don’t beat yourself up about it. You’ve got more important things to do—like not dying, for one.”

“I’ll do my best,” Giles’ voice sounded weak. “It doesn’t hurt…anymore.” His eyes fluttered shut.

“No, Rupert—open your eyes. Stay with me.” Giles opened his eyes and tried to focus on Larry’s face. So sweet of him to be concerned for me. If only I could tell him it’s all right—it doesn’t hurt. Dying doesn’t hurt. He could hear Larry’s muted voice and feel a numb kind of pressure where he was injured, but otherwise everything was quiet and so peaceful. He just wanted to sleep…just drift away…

Larry looked at the wall clock and swore under his breath. Where were they? It had been nearly fifteen minutes and there was still no sign of the paramedics. Giles’ breathing was becoming shallower and he couldn’t get him to keep his eyes open for any length of time. The bleeding had almost stopped, at least, but Larry wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He needed to keep Giles awake—needed to focus his attention on the here and now. He was running out of ideas.

Giles felt like he was a kite, floating high on a breeze, tethered to the Earth by only a thin string. Holding on to the other end of the string was Larry. Why doesn’t he just let go? It would be so much easier if he would just…is that Larry singing? The sound of the big football player’s sweet, soft singing was like a splash of cold water on his face. Giles opened his eyes to confirm what his ears were hearing—that yes, indeed, Larry was singing to him. Giles had to struggle to stay lucid enough to hear the words:

Look into my eyes—you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart—search your soul
And when you find me there you’ll search no more.
Don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for
You can’t tell me it’s not worth dyin’ for
You know it’s true
Everything I do—I do it for you.

Giles blinked up at the large, dark-haired young man. Surely he wasn’t singing him a love song? But then, there was definitely a look in his eyes—something that ran deeper than mere friendly concern. Had that always been there? Or was he simply delusional from blood loss? Giles knew he needed to stick around to find out, so he fought the blackness that encroached at the edges of his vision.

Look into my heart—you will find
There’s nothing there to hide
Take me as I am—take my life
I’d give it all—I would sacrifice
Don’t tell me it’s not worth fightin’ for
I can’t help it—there’s nothing I want more
Ya know it’s true
Everything I do—I do it for you.

Larry knew he’d got him back. Giles’ eyes looked steadily into his now, and beyond the pain, Larry thought he saw a spark of something new. His heart jumped at the possibility that Rupert might share his feelings. The chances were unlikely, but Larry would take it.

There’s no love—like your love
And no other—could give more love
There’s nowhere—unless you’re there
All the time—all the way.
Oh—You can’t tell me it’s no worth tryin’ for
I can’t help it, there’s nothing I want more
I would fight for you—I’d lie for you
Walk the wire for you—ya I’d die for you
You know it’s true
Everything I do—I do it for you.

Giles’ eyes were glassy with tears and he was trying to speak. Larry leaned in close to hear his whispered words: “Thank-you.”

Larry spoke softly into Giles’ ear; “If you really want to thank me, then don’t give up. Fight to stay here with me. I need you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Came the faint answer. Giles even managed a bit of a smile.

Finally the ambulance arrived and two weary paramedics quickly took over from Larry. They worked with smooth efficiency and soon had Giles bundled into the ambulance. When they were gone, Larry called Oz and filled him in on the situation. Oz agreed to come by with the van so they could go down to the hospital together.

Larry was still trying to rub the blood off his hands when Oz showed up, his usually spiky hair flat on one side where he’d been sleeping.

“Thanks for coming.”

“You kidding? I’m always here for you guys, you know that.”

They arrived at the hospital having broken several traffic laws on the way. The emergency room was buzzing with activity. Nothing unusual about that. Oz eventually managed to get someone to talk to them. A frazzled looking young woman who kept repeating “I’m new here” like a mantra to anyone who would listen, said she’d find out about their friend.

The wait was maddening. Oz sat silently watching Larry as he paced a frenzied path across the waiting room floor. When the frazzled woman finally got back to them, Larry let out a huge sigh of relief. She was smiling.

“Your friend, Rupert Giles? He’s in recovery, receiving plasma. His wound wasn’t serious, but he lost a lot of blood. You should be able to take him home in the morning.”

“Can we see him?” asked Larry.

Frazzled lady chewed on her lip; “I’m new here—I’m don’t think anyone’s allowed in there. He’s sleeping anyway.”

“Please?” asked Larry with a puppy-dog expression that would have melted the coldest of hearts.

She chewed her lip some more, furtively glancing over her shoulder to see if she was being watched. “To be honest, it’s been so crazy in here I doubt anyone would notice. Go down the hall and turn left at the end. He’s in the third room on the right.”

“Thanks,” said Oz, and he and Larry began weaving through the obstacle course of sick and injured people to find Giles.

The two young white-hats stood next to the hospital bed looking down at the still figure of their leader. Giles looked so pale and fragile, hooked up to an I.V. and monitors as he slept.

Larry held Giles’ hand in his own, rubbing his thumb over the large knuckles. His hand felt reassuringly warm.

Oz had the strangest feeling that he’d walked in on an intimate moment. He shifted uncomfortably, drawing Larry’s attention. Oz decided to take this opportunity to make a discreet exit. “He’s gonna be fine. He’s a lot stronger than he looks.”

Larry nodded in agreement.

“Listen,” said Oz, “I’m gonna head home. First thing tomorrow morning I’ll round up the rest of the gang—we’ll have to take over for Rupert for a little while, and that’ll take a bit of planning. Did you want to stay here with him tonight?”

“Yeah, I think maybe I should. You know—in case he wakes up.”

“All right. Why don’t you give me a call when you’re ready to go home?”

“Okay, I’ll do that. Thanks, Oz.”

“Oh, and if he does wake up, say ‘hi’ to him for me,” said Oz on his way out.

“Will do,” said Larry.

They were alone again. Still holding Giles’ hand, Larry bent over the man he loved and placed a soft kiss right over his eyebrow. He lingered there, catching the faint scent of his hair and feeling the warmth of his skin against his lips.

Larry pulled up a chair and prepared for a long, sleepless night. Somewhere down the line, though, his exhaustion won out, and he fell asleep with his head on the bed, still clutching Giles’ hand.

Giles awoke the next morning confused and in pain. It took a moment before he realized he was in the hospital, then the memories of the night before flooded back to him. He tried moving his arms, but his right arm was pinned. Looking down, he saw Larry hunched over the bed in an uncomfortable position, fast asleep on top of his arm. Which explained why he couldn’t move it.

Giles reached over and lay his hand on Larry’s dark, fuzzy hair. The boy stirred at the touch but didn’t wake up. If his arm hadn’t gone numb, Giles would have let Larry sleep, but the tingling pain in his arm was actually worse than the pain from his knife wound. He put his hand on the boy’s shoulder and gently shook him.

Larry woke with a start and very nearly fell off his chair. It took a second for him to compose himself before he realized that it was Giles who woke him up.

“You’re awake! When did you wake up?” Larry’s smile was contagious, and even as he flexed his tingling fingers, Giles found himself smiling back at him.

“I’ve only just awoken, I promise. Have you been here the whole time?”

“Well I wasn’t going to leave you alone, was I?” said Larry. He hid his face from Giles, so he wouldn’t see the tears forming in his eyes. It didn’t work.

“Larry? What is it? What’s wrong?”

“It’s just…” Larry started, then had to clear his throat. “Last night…well, I really thought I’d lost you. And I realized there was so much I needed to tell you…about…about how I feel about you. And I was too late.” Larry fixed his eyes firmly on his fidgeting hands.

Giles knew he was entering dangerous territory here. Larry had taken a big risk, and now things between them could never really be the same. Giles was still reeling from the shock of Larry’s revelation—he hadn’t had time to fully explore his own feelings yet. It was strange—during his time on the Hellmouth, Giles had thought he’d successfully blocked himself off from love, and yet, somehow, it had snuck under his defences and caught him unaware. Larry. Two years under the same roof with the young man, and he’d never noticed until now how deeply he cared about him.

So now he had to make a choice. Play it safe and he’d lose a good friend; take the leap and he risked losing so much more. But Larry was right—life was too short to live with regrets. He held his hand out to Larry, who took it uncertainly.

“You did tell me how you feel. I seem to recall you serenading me last night.” Larry blushed, but Giles continued; “What you sang…it meant a lot to me. And it’s not too late.”

Larry smiled down at him, and a hot tear streaked down his cheek. He didn’t even try to conceal it. He felt a relief so profound he found it hard to breathe.

Giles wiped the tears off Larry’s cheek with his thumb, then cupped his face in his hand, drawing him closer. Their lips met, warm and soft, and full of the promise of many kisses to come.

END