Title: Unicorns and Butterflies
Author: Neena (varscona_pal@yahoo.ca)
Pairing: Giles/Harmony
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Buffys verse is the property of Joss and a vast number of big corporations, like Fox, Kuzui, Sandollar, ME, etc. I, on the other hand, own nothing (except the computer on which this story was typed :)

Note: this story is a response to the Wencheriffic Make My Head Do A Full-on Exorcist Twist Challenge: Giles must be paired with someone who never made it into the opening credits of BtVS. Must also include an item of food or drink, a reference to one of the following British comedies: Black Adder, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Coupling or Red Dwarf, and a wind up toy.

Giles was exhausted. Nohe was beyond exhaustedhe was dead on his feet. It wasnt just physical, either, although it had been one hell of a tiring day; the exhaustion he felt was as much spiritual and psychological as it was physical. Blowing up the library had stirred up a maelstrom of emotions that he was only now beginning to acknowledge.

It marked the end of so many things, and Giles was, for the first time in his life, set free from all his worldly responsibilities. The Council no longer required his services, and he himself had obliterated his only other tie to the mundane world of the gainfully employed. As a result he was torn between absolute exhilaration and abject fear of what was to come.

One thing was certain, thoughany self-reflections he might have could wait til morning. Right now he wanted nothing more than to slip between the sheets and dissolve into unconsciousness for the next ten hours. And he was about to do just that when he heard a plaintive knocking at his door. He looked at his alarm clock, which told him he had only a few hours left before dawn. He sighed, rolling his eyes to the ceiling as if appealing to a god he never really believed in, and trudged back downstairs to answer the door.

Hed expected to see Buffy, but he wouldnt have been surprised to see Willow, or Xander, or even Cordelia. He would even have been less than shocked to see a thirty-foot-tall snake crammed into his doorway. But he never expected to see Harmony.

Yet there she was, grimy and dishevelled, looking like a kitten caught in the rainand carrying a suitcase. She shifted back and forth on her feet, avoiding Giles eyes. Hi, Mr. Giles, she said. Did I wake you up?

No, no I was just getting ready for bedHarmony, is it?

She looked up at him at last; her eyes shining with unshed tears, and nodded. It was horrible, Mr. Giles. There was the snake and the big explosion, and a whole bunch of my friends diedI didnt know where else to go. Then I remembered some of the weird things Cordelia used to say about youthat you knew all about these creepy kinds of thingsand I though you might be able to help me. She blinked up at him with her watery blue eyes and smiled pathetically at him. So? Can you help me?

Giles was aware that his jaw had dropped open as she was speaking, and he made a conscious effort to curb his disbelief. This was an innocent girla friend of Cordeliaspleading for assistance. He could hardly turn her away, even if she was one of the most infuriatingly dense human beings hed ever met.

Please, come in, he said, and instantly had the wind knocked out of him as she thrust her suitcase into his ribcage with a huge grin.

Careful with that, she said, breezing past him and making herself comfortable on his couch. Ive got all my unicorns in there.

All yourwhat?

U-ni-corns, she said like she was speaking to an idiot. Some of them are glass. Theyre very delicate.

Giles set her cumbersome suitcase on the floor and rubbed the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stave off the headache he knew was about to strike. He took a seat in a chair across from Harmony and waited for her to tell him what was on her mind. He waited a very long time.

Was there something you wanted to ask me? Giles finally asked.

Harmony lit up like hed just suggested a trip to the mall. Actually, there is. I wanted you to tell me everything you know about vampires. She sat up straight and watched him like an eager student, waiting to be dazzled by his intellect.

Vampires? You want to know about vampires?

Uh-huh. Like, for instance, if my best friend got bit by one tonight, does that mean shes a vampire now, too?

Giles smiled awkwardly, hoping it came across as comforting. Not necessarily, he said. Mostly vampires just kill their victims. Only on rare occasions do they turn them into one of their own.

And how do they do that?

Well said Giles, feeling uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was taking; the victim would have to drink the vampires blood after being nearly drained themselves.

Okayew! Harmony stuck out her tongue in disgust. But would it be possible to become a vampire, like, by accident? Say if there was just a whole lot of blood flying around and Ishejust happened to fall on, oh, I dunnoa vampire, who happened to be bleeding. Then myhermouth accidentally happened to clamp onto his wound and begin sucking?

Giles paled a little at the realization that hed just let a vampire inside. In all his years as a watcher, hed never unwittingly invited a vampire into his home. And to be bested by the likes of Harmony? Well, hed be the laughing stock of the Watchers Council, for a start. And Buffy would never let him live it down.

Mr. Giles? Are you okay? You didnt answer my question, said Harmony with a pout.

Harmonybe honest, hereyoure not really talking about a friend, are you?

You could tell? she asked disappointedly.

I guess Im just intuitive that way, said Giles, being careful not to upset the newly risen vampire.

You see? Thats exactly why I came to you. You British people are so smart. And youre super smart, like that guy on that British show, Red Dwarfyou knowLister. And its not just the accentI can tell. Cordelia says youre the smartest guy she knows, and that youre the only reason Buffys still alive.

Oh, I wouldnt say that. Buffys an extraordinary girl.

Whatever. The point is, youre the brains and shes the muscle. I need someone like you. Harmony pushed herself off the couch and slinked seductively over to Giles. At least she thought she was being seductive. To Giles she looked more like a little girl playing dress-up. Still, he couldnt forget that she was now a vampire, despite her naivet. He stood up, blocking her approach with his hands held before him.

Harmony smiled her best stuck-up, Im better than you and youre gonna do anything I want smile, and shoved Giles back into his chair. She crouched over him, her pink, glossy lips nearly brushing his ear.

I want you to be my first, she said, and her pink little tongue darted out to lick his earlobe.

Giles knew he was in a bad position to fight back, so he used the only weapon for which she had no defence: logic. If you kill me, how will I be able to help you?

Harmony giggled and wriggled into a sitting position in his lap. Silly! I dont want to kill youI want to turn you! Then you can take care of me the way youve taken care of Buffy. One question, thoughare we supposed to have sex before or after I turn you? Because if we do it before, then youd be all scared and that would be fun. But if we do it after, then youd be all Grrr, and that would kind of be fun too.

Giles tried to squirm out from under her, but her new strength and her position above him gave her the advantage. But as her mouth trailed down from his ear to his neck, he knew he had to do something. If she wanted someone to take care of her, she would get it. It was time to teach her a lesson in tough love.

Harmony, get off me this instant, he barked at her.

Harmony blanched at the harshness in his voice and instantly obeyed.

Is that how you were brought up? Barging into peoples houses, threatening their lives? And then you expect them to help you afterwards? Well thats not how it works. You turn me, and youll have a very powerful enemy on your hands. Kill me and youve got a seriously angry slayer to contend with. Giles took a pause for effect, and was pleased to see that Harmony seemed to be genuinely worried. If, however, you leave now, Ill let you slip out of town before Buffy finds out about you. How does that sound to you?

She looked as if she wanted to jump on the idea, but then a cloud fell across her face. Butbut its almost dawn, she whined. If I leave now, wont the sun kill me?

How did she do it, he wondered? How did she make him feel sorry for her only moments after shed tried to kill him? He couldnt explain it, but he found himself giving in to her child-like vulnerability.

Alright, you can stay her for the day, he said. But Im going to have to chain you up, and as soon as the sun sets youre gone, do you hear?

Harmony bounced a bit and clapped her hands. Great! We can have a sleepover! We can make popcorn and tell stories, and Ill even show you my favourite unicornyou wind it up and it walks, and its horn lights up just like a real unicorns does.

Umquite.

Harmony looked around happily. So, wheres the bedroom? she asked.

What?

The bedroom, she said, rolling her eyes. Were still going to have sex, right? That is why you wanted to chain me up, isnt it?

What? I meanyes. Absolutely. I need to chain you up, so I can have my wanton way with you, said Giles. Now be a good girl and get up the stairs. Giles shook his head in disbelief as she eagerly fell for his trick, squealing excitedly as she skipped up the stairs to his loft.

It took him a while to find his chains and shackles, which were under the bathroom sink for some reason. And by the time he got upstairs, Harmony was ready, lying on the bed wearing the frilliest pink camisole hed ever seen. He didnt know whether to laugh or run screaming from the room. But of course he did neither. He did the only thing he could do under the circumstanceshe crawled on top of the fledgling vampire on his bed and chained her to his bedpost.

Then he climbed off her and started walking away.

Hey! she protested. Where are you going?

Downstairs to sleep on the couch, he answered.

But I thought you wanted me, she said with a pout.

Not in a million years, said Giles, at which point Harmony vamped out on him, her demon showing itself for the first time.

I should have turned you when I had the chance, she said, but the threat fell flat, what with the pink, frilly undies and all. Even in full game face, she looked helpless, and once again Giles felt sorry for her.

No, she said, I should have killed you. I should have had sex with you first, and then killed you. Yeah. And who knows, maybe I still will. Maybe, as soon as you let me out of these chains, Ill come after you. What do you think about that?

Giles looked down at her smug, vampiric face and drew open the curtains. In about an hour the sun will rise. If you dont want to end up as a pile of ashes on the sheets, I suggest you hush up and behave. Understood?

Harmonys game face slipped and she looked like a scared teenager again. She nodded helplessly.

Good. Now Im going downstairs to get some sleep. If youre good, Ill unchain you and let you leave come nightfall. Does that sound fair to you?

Yes, sir, she answered meekly.

Excellent, said Giles and he shut the curtains before leaving her alone to simmer.

He was all tucked up on the couch and his eyes had just closed when he heard Harmony whining from upstairs.

Mr. Giles Mr. Giles! she called.

Bloody hell, Giles murmured and threw back his blankets. He trudged back up the stairs into his bedroom and stood glowering at his uninvited guest from the foot of the bed.

Im hungry, she said. Have you got anything to eat?

Nothing youd be interested in.

We were going to have popcorn, remember? Do you have popcorn?

Youre not going to give up until you get it, are you? he asked.

Nope, she said with a sweet little smile.

Fine. Ill make popcorn, he said. But then Im going to sleep. Giles headed back downstairs, listening to her happy humming as he went. In the kitchen, he grabbed one of Buffys microwave popcorn bags and set to work. In less than three minutes he had a hot bowl of popcorn and was on his way up the stairs again.

Harmony was still humming and smiling when he returned with the popcorn. He set it down on the bed beside her, and it was then he realized that hed have to free one of her hands so she could eat itbecause there was no way on Earth he was about to feed her himself. Reluctantly, he leaned over her and unlocked the shackle around her right wrist.

Thanks, Mr. Giles. Youre so sweet, she said, and with her free hand, she caressed his cheek.

Giles pulled away as if hed been burned. Dont get any ideas, he said. Just because I made you popcorn doesnt mean anything.

I think its sad, she said with an air of reflection that was almost believable. Youre obviously a very lonely man, and here youve got a beautiful girl chained up on your bed and all you can think about is popcorn. Dont you think thats sad? You could do anything you want with meI wouldnt mind. Harmony leered wickedly at Giles when she saw that he wastempted.

Giles cleared his throat nervously and backed away. It was true; it had been a long time, and she was a beautiful girl. But she was just sopathetic. Here she was, embarking on a new life as a demon, with more power than shed ever dreamed of, and she was still laying herself out like a doormat to the first person to boss her around. He couldnt imagine how shed ever survive out there on her own.

He didnt bother answering her. He just walked away, deep in his own thoughts.

Can I at least get something to drink? asked Harmony to his retreating back. I guess blood is out of the question, huh? She harrumphed noisily when he continued on his way, completely ignoring her.

Downstairs once more, Giles climbed back under the covers on his couch, blocking out the mewling noises coming from Harmony in the loft. He needed sleep, and with the warm blankets wrapped around him like a giant cocoon, he would soon get it.

Tomorrow he would set Harmony free to face whatever fate held in store for her. Like him, her life had just become one big, blank slate. And as he drifted off to sleep, his thoughts dwelled on her, and in his dreams he wished her luck

END