Title: When I Lay Me Down to Sleep (part 21/21) Now Complete!
Author: Neena (varscona_pal@yahoo.ca)
Pairing: Giles/Buffy
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: The characters and Buffyverse belong to Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy, etc. This little ficlet (or novella, as it turns out) is for fun only.
Feedback: Pretty please? I’m an addict!
Wesley had sequestered himself in a quiet corner of the emergency room near a bank of phones where he wouldn’t be disturbed. Or, to be more specific, where Xander wouldn’t find him. Ethan had escaped the moment the car had rolled to a stop, and Cordelia had gone home to sleep shortly after dropping Xander off at the hospital. And Giles hadn’t lifted his head to look at anyone since he woke up. But Xander was still hanging around, looking for someone to talk to, and Wesley needed to be alone right now.
He’d just called his father at the Council, and the conversation had not gone well. Wesley told him that with Giles back in the picture there was no need for him to stay in Sunnydale. His father had found it necessary to point out that Wesley had never been able to stick to a job, and that if he’d been born with a backbone, he wouldn’t let Mr. Giles stand in his way. Wesley couldn’t tell him the real reason he was stepping down as Buffy’s Watcher—to do so would mean exposing her pregnancy and her relations with Giles. The Council wouldn’t think twice about separating the couple, and taking the child away from her as well. They’d see the baby as an unnecessary distraction from her duties as Slayer.
So Wesley held his tongue and agreed that, yes, he had failed to live up to his father’s expectations yet again. In the back of his mind, he was starting to think it might be time to shake things up a bit in the Wyndam-Pryce family. He was tired of being under the constant scrutiny of his father and the rest of the Council. They never seemed to give him credit—he was bright and talented, and although he might be a bit raw in the combat zone, he was learning quickly. If the Council didn’t want him, there were other ways to use his skills in the fight against evil.
By the time he’d hung up the phone, Wesley was a free agent. His father had fired him. But Wesley wasn’t as depressed about it as he would have been a few months earlier. Right now he felt liberated—he didn’t know where he would go from here, but he had a feeling it was going to be one hell of a ride.
Giles sat slouched over with his elbows on his knees in one of the cracking plastic chairs in the Emergency waiting area. He’d come to shortly after arriving at the hospital and he hadn’t uttered more than two words together since. The enormity of what had happened over the last few months was sinking in, and he couldn’t bring himself to look Xander and Wesley in the eye.
He knew that Willow had rescued their baby, and that Buffy and her mother were upstairs in obstetrics with her now. Xander had passed on the information, along with a long-winded (and, most likely, highly exaggerated) account of what had happened at City Hall. Wesley had kept his distance so far, and who could blame him?
He wanted desperately to see Buffy, to know how she was doing. Did she remember everything? And if she did, how was she coping with the shock of it? He imagined that he was the last person she’d want to see right now.
A pair of jean-clad legs appeared before him and Giles lifted his head to see Willow standing there. Her large, expressive eyes were consumed with worry.
“Giles—you okay?” she asked. “I mean, obviously you’re not okay; why would you be okay? What a stupid question to ask a guy sitting in the hospital with his eye swollen shut…and I’ll stop talking now.”
Giles did his best to smile at her, but it made his cheekbone throb with pain. Wesley was a helluva lot stronger than he appeared.
“I’m fine, Willow. Thank-you,” he said. “How’s Buffy doing?”
“She’s doing great,” Willow said, but it was clear she was lying.
“That bad?” asked Giles.
Willow looked pained at having to give him bad news; “There were tears involved…it’s weird—like she woke up and suddenly realized that the bad dream she was having was real.”
“That’s very much how it feels,” Giles said quietly and dropped his eyes to his interlaced fingers. “I was there the whole time, but it was like being a passenger in my own body. I was saying and doing things I had no control over; no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I couldn’t break free. I…uh…I-I did things I never would have done…th-things with Buffy. Dear God, Buffy must hate me right now.”
Willow sat down next to him and put her hand over his. Giles kept his gaze firmly locked on their joined hands, not ready to face her just yet.
“Giles…Buffy needs you now more than ever. I understand that you’re a little wigged by what’s happened between the two of you, but you’re wrong. Buffy doesn’t hate you. She’s in love with you.”
“The Preot might have made her feel that way, but…”
“This has nothing to do with the Preot,” said Willow. “This is about Buffy and her feelings about you. Buffy’s not a kid anymore—she hasn’t been a kid since her first Slayer Surround Sound experience—and you need to see that. Her feelings for you are real, whether you feel the same way or not, and you’ve gotta be there for her.”
Giles swallowed hard and got up the courage to look her in the eye. “Would you think any less of me if I told you that I did love her?”
He looked so vulnerable, so unsure of himself, that Willow couldn’t help but wrap her arms around him and give him a hearty squeeze.
“I’d only think less of you if you didn’t go upstairs right now and tell that to Buffy,” she said, smiling. “Go on, she’s waiting for you.”
“Thank-you, Willow,” he said. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”
Then, taking a deep breath, he rose from his chair and prepared to face his fiancée and their new baby.
Giles passed Joyce in the hallway on the way to Buffy’s room. He wrung his hands nervously, half expecting her to start yelling at him in the peaceful hospital corridor.
“She’s expecting you,” said Joyce. She wasn’t exactly bubbling over with joy at his arrival, but she didn’t seem angry, which was a start, at least.
“Thank-you,” Giles mumbled. Knocking on Buffy’s door, he pushed it open and ducked his head inside. Buffy looked up at him and smiled serenely. Taking that as a good sign, Giles entered and approached her bed. Only then did he notice that she was breast-feeding, and he looked away, embarrassed.
“Giles…it’s a little late for modesty,” said Buffy, and he could hear the amusement in her voice. “Besides, I think it’s important for the father to be here…you know; do a little bonding?”
Giles winced at her choice of words. They’d had their share of ‘bonding’, and it wasn’t of the good, as she would say.
“Come a little closer. Don’t be shy—she won’t bite. Ow! Buffy exclaimed. “Okay, I take that back. Apparently she does bite.”
Giles’ curiosity got the better of him and he sidled up to the bed for a closer look. The baby was tiny, but she looked healthy, and she definitely had an appetite. Her hair was wispy, and blond like Buffy’s, and Giles marvelled at the perfect little fingers that grasped at the hospital blanket.
“She’s perfect,” said Giles, his voice filled with awe.
“Of course she is,” said Buffy. “Look at her parents.”
There was a long, awkward silence before Giles cleared his throat: “Buffy…”
“If you’re about to say what I think you’re about to say, then don’t, okay?” Buffy cut in. “I don’t want to hear about age differences and what the Council will think. None of that matters. And if you’re gonna tell me that it was the Preot that made us fall in love and that none of it was real, then you’re totally wrong—I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life. And I know you feel the same way too, right? Or am I wrong? Was it just the Preot-thing for you? Is that it? You never did love me, did you? And…and I just made a complete fool of myself! Oh God! You’re leaving me again, aren’t you?” she squeaked.
Giles’ head was spinning from the whirlwind of emotions that had sprung up out of nowhere and swept Buffy away. She was now completely distraught, and the baby was starting to fuss.
“Buffy, please,” said Giles, sitting next to her on the edge of the hospital bed. “If you’d just let me finish…what I was going to say was that I’m a man of my word. I made a promise to the Council when I became your Watcher that I would guide you and protect you as best I could. It’s true, I never expected it would come to this, but you forget that I also made a promise to you. I promised you that I would stay by your side, no matter what, for as long as you’d allow me to stay there. And whether it’s strictly as your Watcher, or as your friend, or-or…as your husband…it’s up to you. Although, I have to admit, I’d very much prefer to be your husband.”
Buffy was speechless. Even though he’d proposed to her once before, she wasn’t sure if it had been Giles or the Preot talking. This time, there could be no doubt…Giles had just asked her to marry him.
When she still hadn’t said anything, Giles added; “Of course, I could pretend I didn’t just say all that and go with the ‘I’m too old for you and the Council will never approve’ line you suggested earlier.”
“Don’t you dare!” Buffy said, finally breaking free of her stunned silence.
“It won’t be easy,” Giles said, seriously. “There will be rumours and accusations—are you ready to face that?”
“There’ll be rumours and accusations no matter what happens. At least if we’re married we won’t have to face them alone. Besides, I want our daughter to have a normal life, knowing that her parents had her out of love.”
Giles was overcome with gratitude, and he leaned in and gave Buffy a soft kiss on the lips. He looked down at their daughter, whose large blue eyes blinked sleepily at him as she nursed, and cupped her head in his hand. It was so tiny and warm, and he could feel her heart beating under his palm where the bones of her skull had yet to join. So frail. So strong. In that moment Giles felt something click inside him and he knew he’d just become a father.
Buffy watched Giles’ face soften and relax as he stroked their daughter’s silky, fine hair.
“So, what are we going to call her?” asked Buffy. “And if you say ‘Mabel’ or ‘Gertude’ I’ll kick your butt.”
“I was thinking…for her middle name, would you consider ‘Willow’?” he asked, and Buffy looked surprised. “She’s been a real friend to me through all this, and to you as well. I dare say our daughter owes Willow her life: I can’t think of a more worthy namesake.”
“You’re right—those are pretty big shoes to fill. And Willow will be thrilled!” Buffy agreed. “And I was thinking ‘Rosalind’ for her first name. It was my Grandma’s name. She was spunky—I think you would have liked her.”
“’Rosalind Willow Giles’ it is, then,” said Giles. “It suits her.”
“Do you think she’ll ever forgive us for leaving her the way we did?”
“I think she already has,” he replied. Rosalind’s mouth went slack as she fell asleep in Buffy’s arms. “May I?” asked Giles, standing and holding out his hands.
Buffy covered herself and passed Rosalind over to her Daddy. Giles beamed proudly, ignoring the pain it caused in his bruised cheekbone. He held her against his shoulder and rubbed his fingers gently up her back, over and over until he was rewarded with a dainty burp and a patch of wet shirt.
“You’re a natural,” said Buffy.
“I come from a large family,” he answered in a hushed voice. “Three younger brothers and a baby sister. I made most of my allowance babysitting them when I was growing up.”
“There’s so much about you I don’t know,” said Buffy.
“Well, we’ve got the rest of our lives to get caught up. Right now, I really must get some sleep.”
Buffy scooted over on the narrow bed and patted the mattress beside her. “Hop in.”
Too tired to argue, Giles handed her the baby, kicked off his shoes, and crawled into bed next to her. He put his arm around her and she shifted so they were cuddled together comfortably. Within minutes the trio was fast asleep.
One by one, Joyce, Wesley, Willow and Xander filed into the little room, hoping to do a little well-deserved celebrating. Willow let out a quiet ‘awe’, and even Joyce had to admit the new family looked pretty awe-worthy. Xander pulled out the disposable camera he’d purchased for a small fortune at the hospital gift store, and was about to snap a picture when Wesley grabbed his arm.
“Let them sleep,” he said in a whisper.
Xander looked at the little camera with the blinding flash and realized that he would have woken them up if Wesley hadn’t stopped him. Sheepishly, he pocketed the offending camera. Wesley was right; they could all do with some sleep.
The little group shuffled quietly out of the room, flicking off the lights as they went. Tomorrow there would be demons and vampires and new responsibilities to explore. But for tonight at least, they deserved a peaceful night’s sleep.
END