Title: Deceptions and Betrayals 20/21
Author: Ness
Contact: sessa1_2@yahoo.com
Written: 09/08/2003
Spoilers: Nothing after "Wrecked" in season 6 on BtVS and anything before "Sleep Tight" on AtS. But this is completely AU.
Summary: This one is a sequel to "When You Least Expect It". If you didn't read that one, this will probably confuse you.
Pairings: Cordelia/Giles and Buffy/Wesley
Rating: PG most of the time but there are NC-17 parts.
Distribution: Anyone that already has permission. Anyone else, please ask first.

Disclaimer: We all know who owns 'em and it ain't me. Joss and Co. are gods in their universe, I'm just a peon in mine.
Thanks to Suzanne for the beta. It is much appreciated, Chica. *G*
A/N: I did a bit of juggling with this after Suz saw it, so any and all mistakes are mine--as usual. ;-)
Dedication: This one is for Kerrie. She gave me the idea that ended an almost six month block. She read this puppy even though she didn't normally read these pairings. Now, I've corrupted her or that's what she says anyway. *G* Thanks darlin', you're the best.

Several weeks later, Buffy and Wesley walked through her front door, covered in vampire dust and mud.

"Why is it that most of the time, it doesn't rain in California, but decides to when there's a mass vamp rising?" she asked no one in particular.

Wesley's glare lost a bit of its power as he was covered in more mud and dust than she was.

"You know, I've been wondering. Do they teach you that glare in Council school or is it a British thing?" Buffy asked him with a grin. "Cause Giles' got one just like it."

Wesley did his best not to smile, but it proved to be impossible. "I've noticed something," he said as he walked towards her.

Buffy knew that look and started back-pedaling for all she was worth. "Now, Wes. I know you're not happy about taking a fall into that open grave--."

"You mean the grave you *pushed* me into?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I didn't mean to, that vamp ran into me," she said as her back hit a wall. "How was I supposed to know you were behind me?"

"Perhaps because I told you, 'Buffy, I'm behind you'." He stopped scant inches from you.

"Come on, Wes. I managed to keep this shirt from getting muddy, even though the pants are gone." She looked mournfully at her new slacks.

"Well, we can't have your shirt feeling left out, can we?" With that, Wesley grabbed her around the waist and brought her flush with his body, smearing mud all over her clean shirt. "Wes!" She tried to be mad, but a laugh escaped.

He kissed her breathless and she thought they might head upstairs, but he pulled away abruptly.

"What's wrong?" Buffy asked in a concerned voice.

"Come sit with me?" He took her hand and pulled her to the sofa.

"Wes, what's the matter?" She was getting worried at the abrupt switch in his mood.

Wesley sat her down and stood looking at her for a long, unreadable moment. He slowly sank to one knee, reaching into his muddy pants for a small jeweler's box.

Buffy's heart was in her throat.

"Will you marry me? Will you be the love of my heart for the rest of my life?" Wesley opened the box to reveal a gorgeous solitaire.

Buffy's voice wouldn't work for a moment.

She looked at him.

His heart plummeted. He knew her answer as surely as if she'd screamed it. "Why?" He whispered hoarsely.

"I just can't," she replied in a pain-filled voice.

"That's not an answer." He rose to his feet. Prostrating himself to her suddenly seemed very wrong.

"It's the only one I have," she told him quietly. "Why can't we stay the way we are?"

"Because I want--no, need-- more than a few stolen hours with you, Buffy. I want the world to know you're mine. I want the whole damned world to know I' m yours." He ran his hand through his muddy hair in frustration.

"Wesley, I have to be careful. The CPS is still watching me, deciding if I'm fit to raise Dawn." She thought it was a reasonable answer, totally ignoring that she'd just told him that she had no reason.

"How would marriage to me jeopardize your custody of Dawn?" Wesley knew it wouldn't, but he wanted to hear her say it.

She did. "I don't know that it would, but I can't take chance." It sounded weak, even to her.

She watched his eyes go flat, almost lifeless; his face a grim mask. This wasn't the same man that had just smeared her with mud. This wasn't the same man that teased, laughed and loved with her in bed and out.

"Wesley?" She stood and reached out to him.

He stumbled back from her and held out his hand as if to ward off a blow as pain wash over him in waves. How could he have been *so* bloody *stupid*? Why couldn't he just settle for what he had? Why did he have to want more? He fought the urge to run from the room. He'd been stripped of his dignity by others too many damned times, he refused to do it to himself.

Her heart broke when he pulled away from her. "Wes, please?" She wasn't sure what she was asking for, but she knew that they were standing on a precipice and she may have just pushed them over.

"I can't stay here," he muttered as he turned to leave. He looked back and saw the stricken look on her face and couldn't resist the urge to sooth her. "Don't worry, I'm not leaving town. I'll return in a little while." With that, he walked out the front door.

****

Buffy sat slumped on the sofa for what seemed like an eternity. What had she done? She rose and headed to the kitchen. She saw Dawn and Willow standing at the foot of the stairs.

Her sister was staring at her with disappointment all over her face.

"What?" Buffy asked, not in the mood for judgmental baby sisters or best friends.

"You're an idiot," Dawn said quietly.

"You don't know anything about it," she said warningly.

"I know you're pushing him away." Dawn leaned back against the railing and looked at her sister.

"I'm not pushing him away!"

"What do you call it?"

"I have to think about you, Dawnie."

"Don't use me as an excuse, Buffy." The younger Summers sister slowly straightened. "You may be worried about me, but that's not why you turned him down."

"I don't think it is either, Buff." Willow spoke for the first time.

"Willow--" Buffy began in warning.

"No," the red-head interrupted gently. "If you want to push Wesley away, at least be honest about why. You're terrified he's going to leave because everybody else has."

Buffy didn't know how to respond to that quiet announcement. If she was honest with herself, she'd have to admit that her best friend was right. "I don't know what you're talking about. Wesley and I have already had this talk; I know he's not going to leave." Okay, so nobody said she was particularly good at the honesty-with-oneself thing. "Besides, everybody else has *not* left me."

Dawn, taking the conversation from Willow, held up her hand and started ticking off her examples. "First dad left, then Angel, riley, mom. Shoot, even Giles left."

"Giles came back and mom *died*," Buffy reminded her through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, but he still left," her little sister reminded her firmly. "And I know mom died, but that doesn't mean she didn't leave us." Dawn added sorrowfully.

"You're going to give up on a man that loves you and wants to spend the rest of *your* life with you." Buffy didn't miss that not-too-subtle reminder from Willow about the limited lifespan of a slayer. With compassion in her eyes, the witch laid her hand on her best friend's tense shoulder. "You're throwing it away because you're scared."

"I'm not scared." But the Slayer wouldn't meet her eyes as she shrugged off the hand.

"Yes, you are," Dawn contradicted. "You think if you let him in, that he's going to leave you. Are you going to let him go?" She knew what she was about to say was either going to hurt her sister or piss her off. "You know? I never thought you were a coward, Buffy--till now." With that bombshell, she turned and trotted back up the stairs. Willow took one last look at the forlorn woman staring at the floor and followed.

****

Wesley walked through the darkened streets of Sunnydale on autopilot. He knew it was a dangerous thing to do, but he couldn't seem to help himself. All he could do was replay Buffy's rejection over and over in his mind. He still couldn't believe he'd expected her to say yes. It was just--they'd been so bloody good together. He wanted something permanent. He wanted the right to claim her. It was utterly chauvinistic of him to think that way, he knew. That didn't mean he could stop the most basic urge to tell the world that she belonged to him.

He continued to walk the pain and disappointment away, his steps taking him further away from her.

He found himself at the rebuilt Sunnydale High. He remembered his absolute humiliation the day of the Mayor's ascension. He looked back at the man he'd been and wondered what had happened to him. He gave a cynical laugh; life happened, it had kicked him in the arse and demanded that he change his ways if he expected to survive. To his astonishment, he had and had become a better man for it. He'd accepted himself and moved on to find the woman of his dreams in the girl who had rejected him so long ago.

He took a deep cleansing breath. It didn't matter what type of relationship Buffy wanted. If it was in his power to give it to her, he would. He didn't have Angel's strength; he couldn't walk away from her.

He turned and started walking back to Buffy's.

A vampire stepped in front of him.

"What have we here?" The vampire asked, trying to sound menacing.

Wesley rolled his eyes and asked no one in particular. "Why me?"

"Because you're here and I'm hungry?" The vampire supplied helpfully.

The ex-Watcher pretended to think it over. "I highly doubt it," he said as he staked the vamp.

He stepped over the pile of dust and continued home.

****

He turned his key in the lock, taking care to be quiet. He didn't know if the others were asleep and he didn't want to wake them if they were. He was going to the kitchen to get something to drink when he glanced in the living room and saw Buffy.

"Hello, luv," he said as he stopped at the doorway of the room.

"I waited for you." She sat curled up in one corner of the sofa.

"I see that." He moved into the room, but didn't sit down.

"Where did you go?"

"For a walk."

"At night? In Sunnydale?" She fought the urge to yell at him for putting himself in that kind of danger. She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Can we talk?"

He nodded and sat down on the far end of the sofa.

She felt as though someone had punched her. The physical distance was nothing to the emotional one.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"Yes, I do. I should've--."

He cut her off. "No, I shouldn't have rushed you." He stood and walked to the window. He had to put distance between them or he couldn't say what he needed to. He turned to face her. "I know you don't want to marry me." He held up his hand to stop her interruption. "You don't, and I can live with that." He sighed deeply. "I can live with that because I *can't* live without you. I'll do whatever you want, Buffy. I'll be as open or as secretive as you want me to be. Just please," his voice deepened. "Please don't send me away." He hated the pleading note in his voice, but he couldn' t help it. If begging would keep her in his life, he would do it, no matter how much it hurt.

Buffy got up slowly and moved towards him. She cursed herself for causing this man to beg for anything--especially her.

When she got close enough, he couldn't resist any longer. He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly.

She could feel the shudders running through him and invented new words to flay herself for bringing him to this.

"Wes?" She pulled away enough to tilt his head up so she could see his face in the soft lamplight illuminating the room. She felt hot tears prick her eyes as she saw the abject misery in his. "God, I'm so sorry!" She pulled him back to her and fought the urge to sob. "How could I do this to you? How could I be such a bitch?"

"You are not and I won't have you saying such things about yourself," he admonished her gently.

She couldn't stop the soggy chuckle. "What is it about you Englishmen that you defend me even when I hurt you?" Her voice broke on the last word.

"Perhaps we count ourselves lucky to know you at all," he suggested.

"I don't know how lucky you are, but I know how damned lucky I am."

He leaned back and gently wiped the tears away with the pads of his thumbs. "Hush, luv, please don't cry. It breaks my heart to see you this way."

She closed her eyes and let the love in his voice wash over her. She allowed it to flow into the darkest corners of her soul. As it soothed her, she suddenly knew that her sister and best friend were right. Wesley would never do anything to hurt her. He loved her. She just had to trust in that love.

"Come sit down and I'll explain about earlier," she said as she pulled him to the sofa.

She pushed him down and sat down beside him, sitting at an angle with one leg tucked up under her. "I didn't tell you the truth when I told you I couldn't marry you because of Dawn."

He nodded, but said nothing.

She took a deep breath. "I said no because I'm terrified you'll leave me." She said it in a rush.

"Buffy, I would never--"

She put her finger on his lips to stop the words. "I know you wouldn't. But you have to understand something. It like everyone I've ever loved has left me. It started with my dad and it just didn't seem to stop."

He knew about the people she'd lost, either to their leaving or to death. It didn't seem fair that someone so young should have to suffer so much. He grasped the hand she held against his mouth and brought the palm to his lips to place a gentle kiss to it.

Buffy melted at the tenderness of the gesture.

"I'll never hurt you; you do know that, don't you? I'll never willingly leave you." He had to make sure she understood just what she meant to him.

She nodded. "I do. Besides," she chuckled. "If I didn't, my sister and best friend would make sure I did." She suddenly grinned at him. "Dawn called me a coward."

"What?" He couldn't believe his ears.

"She told me I was a coward if I let you go." She still couldn't believe her sister had the guts to say that.

"You're joking!"

"Nope. She and Willow did a good tag-team on me." She caressed his face. "They made me face up to how I was treating you and why."

"And now?" He was afraid to breathe.

"I'm not going to tell you that all my fears have vanished, but I will tell you that I love you with everything in me." She swallowed hard. "If you still want me, I'll marry you." She ducked her head, not being brave enough to look at him.

"Still want you?" Wesley didn't attempt to disguise the incredulousness in his voice. "Buffy, I could live to be a hundred and I would *never* cease to want you." He used a finger to tilt her head back so he could see her clearly. "I love you. I've loved you for months and I will love you for the rest of my life and beyond."

Tears welled up in her eyes and she didn't try to stop their overflow.

"I love you, too." Then she chuckled.

"What?"

"It's just, you give me this passionate, beautiful declaration of love and all I can say is 'I love you too'." She laughed again.

He didn't crack a smile. "I don't need passionate declarations, my love. I just need you to love me."

"I do," she whispered, right before she pulled his head down and captured his lips.

****

Cordelia hung up the phone and grinned at her husband.

"What?" He asked good-naturedly. He knew she wouldn't tell him until she was ready.

"Your Slayer."

"Well, that's cryptic enough," he chuckled. "What about *my* Slayer?"

"She finally decided to make an honest man out of Wesley."

His mouth dropped open. "They're getting married?"

She nodded happily. She and Buffy may not have always gotten along, but she made Wes happy and that was what was important to Cordelia.

"That's bloody fantastic!" Giles stood and took her in his arms and spun her around.

"Hey!" She laughed as she held onto him. "You didn't seem this happy when I told you I'd marry you," she protested good-naturedly.

"I was this happy, luv. I was also so damned relieved that I had trouble standing," he told he with a chuckle. "I'm just glad that they're finally doing what will make them both happy."

She giggled as she wrapped her arms around him. "You do know that we have a job to do now, right?"

"A job?"

"Yeah, we have a wedding to plan."

He groaned comically and she smacked him playfully on his arm. She tried to pull away from him, her mind already making plans.

He stopped her and pulled her back to him.

"Come on, Giles. We've got a lot to do." She looked at him and was assaulted by the playful, teasing light in his eyes. "Uh oh. What are you up to?"

"Me? Up to something? What makes you think that?" A deeper note entered his voice.

"That look and that voice," she replied.

"I am wounded that you think so little of me."

"Sure you are," she scoffed as she quirked an eyebrow at him.

He chuckled and pulled her closer. "Well, if I'm to be slandered in this manner, I suppose I shall have to live up to the accusations."

"Really? And what did you have in mind?" She asked huskily.

"I think you might have an idea." He ducked his head to gently kiss her behind her ear.

"We've got to make plans," she said, strangling a moan even as she tilted her head to give him better access.

"We will," he assured her. "Later." He swung her up into his arms and headed to their bedroom.

****

Giles kicked the door shut and set his wife down. He just looked at her for the longest moment. Sometimes it seemed as though his greatest reward in life was the ability to look at her and know she loved him every bit as much as he loved her.

Other times, his more carnal side took over and the right to make love to her definitely topped the list.

He grinned.

She reached up and tangled her fingers in the soft hair at the base of his skull.

"What are you grinning at?" She stroked the skin beneath her fingertips, sending off small shock waves he could feel in the deepest part of him.

"Trying to decide what the best part of loving you is," he answered honestly.

"Oh, that's easy, darling," she teased.

"Really? What would be the right answer?"

"The best part of me is," she waited a beat. "All of me." She grinned wickedly.

He threw his head back and roared with laughter. "I do believe you just might be right about that, Mrs. Giles," he replied after he caught his breath.

"Of course. I'm always right," she shot back cheekily.

"But I think I might have to test your theory."

"Really? How are you going to do that?"

"Oh, I think I'll start at the top of your head and work me way to the tips of your toes." He gave her a heated look. "I should be able to give an unbiased opinion by then."

Her breath caught in her throat. "I'm all for unbiased opinions," she whispered throatily.

"I thought you might be," he chuckled as he lowered his head to capture her lips with his own.

She moaned deep in her throat as his tongue entered her mouth to tease and taste. She moved her hands down to his shoulders, clutching them in an effort to stay upright as her knees went weak. He could always do this to her with nothing more than a kiss. She'd consider it unfair if she didn't know she had the same power over him.

He pulled his mouth away and planted hot, wet kisses along her jaw and down the slim column of her throat, nipping at the pulse beating erratically at the base.

Her knees buckled.

He caught her and laid her on the bed.

He stripped off his clothes and joined her.

She held out her arms and he went into them willingly. He kissed her, stoking the fires that had been allowed to wane.

She trailed a hand over his torso. She could feel the muscles in his chest and abdomen contract under her touch. It was a heady feeling. She brushed the back of her hand lightly across his erection and his hips jerked.

He raised his head to see her giving him a deliciously wicked smile.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" He asked huskily.

"You bet your sweet fanny I am." She raised her hand to caress his bottom lip with her index finger, moaning when he drew it into his mouth. "I love knowing that I can do to you what you do to me." She snaked a hand around his neck and pulled his mouth down to her.

He moved a hand between them and began unbuttoning the thin cotton shirt she wore. He splayed it open and opened the front clasp of her bra before pulling his mouth away from hers to trail hot kisses down her neck and to her chest.

His touch was overloading her senses. She tried to think, but all she could do was feel what he was doing to her. She felt the stubble on his chin scrap against her and she arched off the bed.

He continued to lavish attention on her breasts as he unfastened her shorts. He slid a hand under the fabric, encountering the lace of her underwear. He slipped it to one side and slowly entered her with his finger. He groaned at the hot, silken heat that greeted him.

"Giles, stop playing with me," she grated out, holding onto the threads of her control--barely.

"But, luv," he teased. "I thought you liked games?"

"Not right now, I don't."

She flipped him over, her hair falling around her face.

"I want you now." She stood and quickly shimmied out of the shorts and underwear, discarding the shirt and bra as well.

She climbed back on the bed, reminding him of a sleek, silent predator that had spotted his prey. He said as much to her.

"That's right, and you're what I'm hunting," she growled as she slid up his body.

His chuckle turned into a groan when she trailed her hands along his thighs, cupping him in gentle hands.

He wadded the bedspread in both hands in an effort to stay in control. He opened his eyes to see her smiling down at him.

"Cordelia--." His voice became a strangled moan as she moved further up his body.

"I told you what I wanted," she said in a husky, playful voice. "I guess I' ll just have to take it."

With that last comment, she lowered herself on him. He drew in a sharp breath and began to thrust. She controlled the rhythm of their lovemaking and drew it out as long as she could before she felt him find his release and, succumbing to her own needs, followed him over the edge.

She collapsed on top of him. He somehow managed to draw the comforter over both of them before sleep claimed them.

****

She woke to the sensation of being held securely in his arms. It was a feeling she would never get used to or take for granted. She shivered at the memories of their lovemaking.

He felt her shivers and, thinking she was cold, pulled her closer to his warmth.

"Giles," she murmured sleepily.

"Hmmmm?"

"We still have to make plans."

He chuckled. "We will, luv, we will," he assured her before drifting back to sleep.

She snuggled closer and smiled before following him.

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