Title: Defending the Homefront
Author: Ness
Contact: sessa1_2@yahoo.com
Pairing: none
Warning: There is NO Angst in this here fic.
Rating: G
Summary: Giles is being watched.
Spoiler: "Chosen" from season 7

Feedback: Um, if I asked please, would that help?
Distribution: Anyone that already has permission. Anyone else, please ask first.
Disclaimer: We all know who owns 'em and it ain't me. Joss and Co. are gods in their universe; I'm just a peon in mine.

A/N: Thanks to Cat for the beta. But, as always, any and all mistakes are mine.

The back of Giles' neck prickled as he got the strongest sensation of someone staring at him. He looked up from his task and tried to ascertain if someone was spying on him. Not seeing anyone, he shrugged and went back to the frustrating task before him.

"Hey, Roy, whacha up to?" Bob asked cheerfully. He frowned when he received no answer; his buddy was not normally rude, so something was definitely up. "Roy?"

Roy slowly turned his head and nodded hello. "Hey Bob."

"Hey man, what's up?" Bob came to stand beside his friend. "You sure were zoned out."

"Look what he's doing," Roy motioned with an angry thrust of his chin; his eyes glittering dangerously as he took in the Englishman and his actions.

Bob stared for a moment before he exploded. "What the hell is he doing? That took us all damned night!"

Roy nodded disgustedly. "Yeah, I know."

"We've gotta do something about this, man," Bob exclaimed as he began to pace, his body quivering with fury. "Do you know what the wives are gonna do to us if they see all of that?" He stopped pacing at that thought sank in. His heart dropped to his toes as he thought about what Wilma would do to him. His wife wasn't one to accept excuses for losing groceries-even good ones.

Roy shook his head. "I know," he repeated, misery coating every word; his wife was no more understanding about things like this than Bob's was. "But what are we supposed to do? He's bigger than we are and the damage is already done."

"But-but" Bob broke off and heaved a sigh. "Man, this is so unfair. And I bet he doesn't even realize what he's done." He glared at the man in question.

"Probably not." Roy blew out a frustrated breath. His ears pricked up as he caught more of the English-accented cursing and anger flared bright and hard. "Hey! Did you hear what he just called us?"

"No, what did he say?" Bob watched in amazement as his friend got angrier than he'd ever seen him.

"He called us little buggers." Roy was almost shivering with rage.

"That's a bad thing?" Bob wasn't up on Britslang like Roy was; he personally thought Roy watched way too much BBCAmerica.

"Let's put it this way, he called us the crap that comes out of his nose," Roy said disgustedly.

"You're kidding!" Bob swiveled his head and glared daggers at the oblivious Englishman.

"Nope, he was definitely insulting us." Roy listened for a minute before his mouth dropped open. "Oh now! Oh, he's gone way too far now!"

"What? What?" Bob asked impatiently.

"He's insulting our families now." Roy had to restrain himself from jumping on the man.

"What's he saying about our families?" Bob was more impulsive than Roy and right now, he was feeling mighty irritated. This guy who was screwing up all their hard work was just asking for it-big time!

Roy turned to his friend and tried to reign in his anger, knowing that he had to choose his words carefully, or things could get ugly in a hurry. "Trust me, you don't want to know." A bit of ire peeked out as he turned back to the scene below. "But this guy needs to be taught a lesson. A big lesson."

Bob nodded in agreement. "What do you want me to do?"

"Go get the boys and round up some ammunition. We're going to need it." Roy's mind was already racing, thinking of what needed to be done.

Bob nodded again and took off.

"Hey Bob!" Roy's shout stopped his friend in his tracks. Bob looked questioningly over his shoulder. "Bring Kerrie; she's got the best throwing arm and aim of anybody I know."

Bob nodded once. "You got it."

Roy watched days of work undone as he waited for his friends to return. Oh yeah, this guy was going to pay.

"We're back," Bob announced as he led a group of about ten men and one woman back to where Roy was waiting.

"Good." Roy looked at all of them. "None of you have to do this, it's your choice."

"We're all here, so we're all in," Kerrie, said resolutely, speaking for all.

Roy nodded. "Okay, everybody pick up your ammo, but don't do anything until I give the signal. Then we'll all hit him at once, agreed?" He glanced at all of them, receiving affirming nods all around. He grinned. "Get ready, set, aim-FIRE!"

***

Giles was grumbling to himself as he cleaned out the engine compartment of his vehicle. He'd never seen the like in his life. He'd seen squirrels in California, but he'd never seen them store their nuts in any available space until he had traveled to Cleveland to help the Slayer there learn about the Hellmouth that had opened when the one in Sunnydale had been sealed.

This was the second time he had come out to find his car engine full of acorns. He wasn't sure the animals crawled up from underneath the car or how they'd done it, but they had managed to make a bloody, royal mess. He was sweeping up the acorns out with his hands.

He could hear the irritated chittering high in the trees above his head. He ignored it. A small part of him was glad they were upset; it made up, somewhat, for the inconvenience they were causing him. Yes, it was petty of him, but sometimes, he was like that.

He cursed as he banged his knuckle on the engine as he bent down to sweep more nuts from the car. He felt air swoosh by his ear, but thought nothing of it until he felt a stinging sensation on the back of his neck. He looked up and narrowly missed having an acorn land directly in his eye. He jerked his head back and looked incredulously as, seemingly, a dozen or more squirrels did their best to injure him with hard-shelled nuts. He shook his head and tried cover his head as he told himself that he was insane, there was no way that numerous fluff-tailed rodents were intelligent enough physically attack him.

He thought that right up until the moment an acorn caught him between the eyes hard enough to make him see stars. He decided that retreat would be the better part of valor at this point and raced towards the house, trying to ignore the mocking chittering that was coming from the trees.

If he didn't know better, he would swear that they were laughing at him. Bollocks, he refused to believe that rodents could make a battle-tested Watcher run. It wasn't running, he simply needed something from the house.

That was his story and nothing was going to change it.

***

Roy grinned at the others as he watched the Englishman take off for the house. "Okay, that's good enough." He flashed another grin at them as he threw one arm around Bob's shoulders and another around Kerrie's. "That'll teach that human to mess with us, won't it? Let's go get something cold to drink. All this target practice has made me thirsty."

They all laughed as they turned and moved down the tree, their tails bushy with pride.

FINIS