TITLE: Magic 1/14
AUTHOR: Rari Coss
Contact: RariCoss1956@yahoo.com
DISTRIBUTION: VSS Archive
SPOILER None
RATING: R
PAIRING: W/G (gasp)
DISCLAIMER: It all belongs to Joss, the real king of the world, the WB, UPN, Fox, Mutant Enemy and anybody else who feels they own it. Im just borrowing, lost in admiration, and then giving them back, memories wiped clean.
SUMMARY: Sequel to Rogue Watcher. If you read Rogue Watcher thats all the summary you need.
NOTES: Starts the next day, with Giles back at the Watchers Council. You should read Rogue Watcher first because I really dont think this one will make much sense without it.
FEEDBACK: Absolutely.
THANK YOU'S: Oodles of thanks to Lori Ann who helped with editing and major plot ideas, and helping her poor writer along when she got totally stuck. The whole trees changing through the seasons thing was her idea and it was a good one so I stole it. < G > And many thanks to Gileswench who kept me on track with only occasionally having to hit me up side the head!!

When Giles awoke he was alone. His head was pounding and he felt sick to his stomach. Trying to remember what had happened, he lay there, searching his memories, needing to know what the monster had done this time.

Giles couldn’t understand why his mind felt so sluggish. He slowly sat, fighting the urge to throw up. He looked around at the unfamiliar room. Taking deep breaths, he moved to the edge of the bed. The urge to vomit grew stronger. He had seen the attached bathroom. Getting up on shaky legs he just made it to the toilet before retching.

When he was done Giles flushed the toilet but stayed on the bathroom floor nearby. His stomach still felt shaky. He drew his knees up and rested his head on his arms, feeling confused.

The Council had his room monitored, multiple cameras hidden so as to not be discernible. When he had awakened an alert had gone out. As Giles sat there on the cold bathroom floor he heard the door to the outer room open. He raised his head too weary to even think about fighting.

Mary Posten walked in carrying a tray. She placed it on the table by the bed and she stood in the doorway to the bathroom. As Giles saw her all his memories came back like a flood. His eyes flew open as he realized that he was free. Free of the monster, free of the running. His relief overcame him and he lay his head back down, his body trembling. Mary came in and perched against the counter of the sink wanting to comfort him but feeling too reserved to do so. She simply lent him her presence hoping that she was right and that he wouldn’t want to be alone.

As his shoulders stopped shaking she wet a washcloth and had it ready to give to him. He lifted his head up and with a rueful smile took the cloth and ran it over his face and neck. He held on to the washcloth, rubbing it between his hands. He looked up at Mary. “Thank you.”

Mary had to look away for a second to compose herself. She took a deep breath and looked back. “You’re welcome. How do you feel?”

A silent laugh shook his shoulders. He gestured at the toilet. “I’m not at my best.”

A small grin appeared on her lips. “I brought you some soda water and crackers to help settle your stomach.”

He nodded and attempted to rise. She did move forward this time and assisted him. Once up he was able to walk into the other room unassisted. “I don’t suppose you brought some aspirin?” Mary reached into her pocket and brought out two small packets. He took them, a look of gratitude on his face.

“They said that when you awoke that you’d be sick to your stomach and have a sinful headache so I came prepared.”

Giles took the pills with a small sip of soda water. He started to eat a cracker. He sat on the bed, leaning back against the headboard. He closed his eyes resting for a moment. Mary took the time to pull up a chair and she sat down waiting. They sat like that for a few minutes, with Giles occasionally taking a sip of soda water and nibbling on a cracker. Finally he opened his eyes and looked at her. “How long have I been asleep?”

“About a day and a half.”

Giles eyebrows rose. He looked around. “Am I in the basement?” He had never been here, wherever it was. There was one high window in the room, bars over it. From his vantage point on the bed he could see a couple of trees, their branches bare.

Mary nodded. It’s the only place with walls thick enough for the Council to be comfortable having you so close.” She tightened her lips, embarrassed at having to say that.

Giles shook his head. “They’re right to be cautious.” At Mary’s continued chagrin he spoke again. “Mary, you have no idea what I was capable of.” He closed his eyes against the memories.

“It wasn’t you. It wasn’t your fault.”

He shook his head again. “I know. But the memories are in my head and in this body.” He held up his hands in front of him. “In these hands.” His eyes filled with shadows and he clenched his hands into fists and lowered them to the bed. After a few moments he spoke again. “Willow and Xander. Are they all right?” His heart ached, longing for their presence, wishing they were here, sitting close.

Mary nodded. “As well as can be expected. Neither of them was happy that we took you.”

Giles looked at her. “The council expelled her?” Giles was hoping that Mary heard the unspoken question.

She had. “Yes, she is only to be expelled.” Giles lay his head back again, relieved.

He lifted it again and spoke softly. “I imagine I have you to thank for that as well.”

Mary smiled but didn’t respond. She stood and walked over to the bed. She put out her hand and he lifted his in response. She enclosed his hand with both of hers, closing his fingers over a piece of paper she pressed there. He kept his fingers closed, in fact fisted both hands so as to not give anything away. She spoke. “I have to go. I’m only allowed to stay for a few minutes. You need to rest, the testing will start soon.” She softly touched his cheek. He silently looked at her and she turned around and left. He heard the door lock behind her and he lay there feeling the piece of paper in his hand.

He assumed that he was being monitored however he didn’t know how thoroughly. He slowly let out his magic to try and damper what equipment was in the room. It was a skill he had learned as the monster. The monster had taught him all sorts of applications for his magic. The thought of some of them made his skin crawl. Instead of a small trickle of magic however, it all blasted out of him. Every surveillance camera in the Council Building shorted out with an explosion. Giles could hear several go in his room, and he could hear the few close to him in the hallway go as well. As he felt the magic swell he jumped up terrified of himself. He tried to rein it back in. He fell to his knees relieved beyond measure when he found he could. He took a deep breath and quickly scanned the note. He barked out a laugh when he saw that the note warned him about the surveillance. To be careful of what he said or did. He flushed the note down the toilet and sat back in the bed, waiting for them to come.

The testing had started immediately. By the end of it the conclusion of the Council was that there was significant residual damage. His magic was out of control. Giles could control it as to whether he used it or not. But once he used it, it was all or nothing. And the all was frighteningly powerful. More power than anyone had ever seen, more power than had ever been recorded. He had hurt several people without meaning to. He had destroyed equipment and furniture, even blown out a few walls. No matter how they tried to get him to channel his magic as soon as it was released it would swell out of control. It would do what he wanted it to but to an excessive and dangerous degree.

No one knew what to do with him. He never tried to escape although everyone knew he could easily. He never objected to the experiments on him, the blood draws, the painful shock treatments, only one of the multiple treatments they tried to use to harness his magic. They brought sorcerers in to try and bind him but without even trying to he effortlessly broke through all the spells. He terrified them; he mystified them. They were pretty sure they should kill him but they didn’t. After all, he was a watcher. They weren’t sure what to do with him. So they treated him like they treated so many of their mysterious and powerful artifacts. They kept him locked up in the basement, out of sight, out of mind.

***

Giles welcomed the quiet at first. They had tested him for weeks and then treated him for weeks more. He had suffered people around him almost 24 hours a day. He knew their conclusions. He saw what he did, what he was. He knew he couldn’t control the magic. He wouldn’t have blamed them for killing him and he expected it. But the days passed by and he stayed alive. He slowly watched the trees outside his window bloom with their new green growth.

***

As the days of solitude turned into weeks he began to suspect. Mary had come to visit him. She often did. After they had finished eating he turned to her. “They don’t know what to do with me, do they?” Mary tightened her lips and shook her head. Giles breathed out a rueful laugh. “They’re never going to let me out. I’m going to spend the rest of my life right here.” He swept the room with his head. He turned to her, pinning her with his gaze. “Aren’t I?”

She sat there, sadness on her face. She slowly nodded. “Yes, unless you try to escape. Then they’ll kill you.”

Giles pinched the bridge of his nose. He shook his head. “If I use my magic to escape I could hurt a lot of people. You know I won’t do that.”

Mary nodded her face even sadder. “I know you won’t.” She looked around the room, now his prison. “Rupert, I’m sorry. They won’t listen to me. They don’t think they can dare loose you on the world. They don’t know you like I do.”

Giles put his hand up to reassure her. “Maybe they’re right. I’m not sure I wouldn’t make the same decision.” He looked despairingly around the room. It was feeling smaller already. He longed for the sun, for the open air. His one small window felt so inadequate a conduit to bring the outside in to him.

Mary’s eyes filled with tears. “Are you still glad I brought you here alive?”

Giles’ lips tightened. “I’m not sure anymore.” He looked down at the remains of his dinner.

She nodded and stood, uncertain of her reception. “Shall I come back tomorrow?” He nodded and she felt relieved. “I’ll see you then.” She walked to the door and left.

***

Giles was lonelier than he could ever remember being. He’d been alone a lot in his life and he’d gotten pretty used to it. But not like this. He craved companionship. The Council had started assigning projects to Mary that often took her out of town. She had protested at first but Giles had convinced her not to put herself at further risk for him. So, she went and when she was gone he didn’t see anybody. Even his food was passed to him through a slot. He knew he made people nervous. He wished he could make them understand that he would not hurt them. He had lived without magic for many years by choice and he could do it again now.

He missed Xander and Willow. He even missed Spike. Thoughts of them kept him going. He missed Willow especially. He missed her more than he had thought possible. He had asked for a computer in hopes of being able to start e-mailing her. They had provided one to him but they had refused to give him phone access. The thought of Giles having access to the world, even a digital one, made them nervous.

Instead they had given him piles of CD-Rom games and books. The games had confused him at first and appalled him. But, his boredom was so intense that he finally tried them in earnest. Once he figured out the rules he became quite adept at them. But games could only occupy him for so long. Even the CD-Rom books failed to hold his attention after a while. He spent a good deal of his time watching the trees. Watching as the leaves turned from green to gold to brown until they slipped off the tree and floated slowly to the ground.

***

It had been a month since he’d seen anyone. The window had drawn him again. The bottom of it was level with the ground. He stared out the small window looking up at his trees. They were bare again, dried brown leaves around their trunks, some lying against the windowpane. He traced their patterns with his finger. He knew he could blast these walls and be out in the sunshine with just a thought. He was tempted but he resisted the urge. He knew they would kill him if he tried but he wasn’t sure whether that was sufficient motivation to stop him anymore. More important was his concern that someone could get caught in the blast and that was unacceptable to him. His freedom wasn’t worth any more deaths. He had already been responsible for too many people dying.

He looked at the door in surprise as it started to open and he smiled when he saw Mary enter. He moved away from the window and walked over to greet her.

“Mary, it’s good to see you.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been away so long.”

“It’s all right. I’m not going anywhere.” He gave her a rueful smile.

She laughed softly, loving him for his attempts at humor to make her feel better. They both sat down and he offered her a drink of water.

She took a sip and smiled at him. “I spoke with Willow.”

Giles’ eyes widened. “How is she?” His heart was desperate for news of her.

Mary laughed, a short laugh. “She is never satisfied with what I tell her. She always wants to talk with you. She wants to come and see you. She misses you. She says to say she loves you.”

Giles lowered his gaze swallowing painfully against the lump in his throat. He turned and looked out the window for a moment trying to hide the tears in his eyes, lips tightened, fingers over his mouth.

Mary continued. “She sent greetings from Xander as well. I could hear him in the background yelling at me.”

He turned back to her. “Yelling at you?”

She smiled sadly. “He’s not very happy either that you’re still here, that he can’t talk with you.” She looked at Giles. “You’ve got quite a fan club there, Rupert.”

“They’re family. They’ve been my family for a long time.” He hated to put her in the middle again but he had to ask. “Mary, can you ask again? May I at least write them a letter and receive mail in return? Why do they refuse this?”

Mary shook her head. “If you receive mail, they have to remember you’re here. They will have to deal with a momentary twinge of conscience that they have locked you away and are keeping you from those you love.”

Giles looked nervously up at the surveillance cameras that were back in place. He sent her a glance that suggested she watch her words. She shook her head in anger. “I don’t care what they hear. It’s wrong what they’re doing. I wish I could stop it.”

“If you keep saying these things they won’t let you visit me at all and then…” He didn’t finish his sentence, the thought of an endless solitude not even broken up by Mary’s infrequent visits too frightening for him to think about.

She tightened her lips. She knew he was right but her anger grew every week at the way they were treating him. She had promised Willow that she would see that he was well cared for and she was failing in that task. Miserably. She had never felt so useless in her life. The Council was intractable. They wanted to forget him and wouldn’t even give him the dignity of death.

She opened the bag at her feet and pulled out a tin of cookies. She hesitated and then handed them to him. “I brought you a Christmas gift. I know these are your favorites.” He reached to take them and she held on to them. “Maybe they’ll help if things get bad enough.” He took the cookies and didn’t open them. He had known Mary long enough to guess what was in the tin.

He looked at her and spoke. “Thank you. You have always been a good friend.”

She smiled and shook her head. “Not good enough, I’m afraid.”

“Don’t ever think that. No matter what happens, don’t ever think that.”

It was her turn to look at the floor while she fought against her tears. He stood up and went back to the window watching his trees again. After a minute she stood. She crossed over to him and looked out his window with him. She looked at the small patch of yard and it’s two trees that were all of the world Giles would ever see. It made her so sad that she couldn’t bear it. She spoke, her voice thick with emotion. “I can’t stay. They’re already sending me out again.”

He nodded. He had seen how hard the Council was working to keep her away. He knew at some point that she’d stop coming at all. He looked at her and saw the sadness in her eyes. He knew she knew it too. He tried to smile at her. “I’ll be here, when you can stop by.” She bit back a sob, turned quickly and left.

He stood by the window until the sun went down and all he could see was darkness, the cloudy skies obscuring any moonlight.

***

After her conversation with Mary, Willow slammed down the phone. She paced back and forth in her small apartment, seething with anger. Xander watched her, feeling much the same. She looked at Xander. “Every phone call is worse than the one before. I know he’s not okay.” She paced some more. She let out a frustrated scream.

Xander spoke. “What did she say?”

“It’s what she doesn’t say.” Xander just looked at her, his eyebrows raised. “She doesn’t say how he’s feeling. She doesn’t say if he’s happy. She doesn’t say what he’s doing. She doesn’t say when he’ll be able to come home.” She wished Spike were here. He had offered to be a punching bag for her and she had taken him up on it a couple of times. He teased her that her punches were like a fly brushing up against him.

“What does she say?”

“That he’s healthy. That he sends his love. That the Council is still watching and waiting.” She blew out a frustrated breath. “The same thing, different variations, but always the same thing.” She looked at Xander. “She’s his friend. Why doesn’t she know more?” She tightened her lips. “Or why doesn’t she say more? It feels like a party line, it makes me feel that she’s lying.” She was sick of these phone calls but not getting them would be worse. She went and sat down next to Xander. “At least I know he’s still alive.”

Xander put his arm around her. “Yeah, but what kind of alive?” Xander’s eyes were bleak as he remembered how they had sedated Giles just to take him back. He was afraid for Giles, afraid that life had perhaps not gotten any kinder for him.

Willow shook her head and laid it down on Xander’s shoulder. She covered her face with her hands and fought back more tears. She wanted Giles to be here with them so badly. She wanted to be holding him and comforting him. She wanted him to be holding her. That one brief day when he’d been here had not been enough. She wished now that she had convinced him to wait a few days before he had called the Council, so she could have spent more time with him.

She stood up again, her anger making it impossible for her to sit for long. She began pacing again and Xander just watched her.

***

He had been in his prison for fifteen months. Over the last three months he had seen Mary twice. Both times she had brought him a message from Willow. Word of her was the only thing that sparked his heart into momentarily beating and caring again. The rest of the time he just existed. His ability to do even that was waning.

The bathroom wasn’t monitored. Mary had at least been able to insist on that when the new cameras had been installed. He had taken the cookie tin in there a couple of months ago, knowing that if he chose to use what was inside that he would need privacy, although he wasn’t sure they would stop him. He watched the light die again outside his window. He felt another piece of his heart die with it. He walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

Inside the cookie tin, in addition to the cookies he liked so much was a prescription bottle filled with pills. He held the bottle in his hand and squeezed tightly. He never thought he would ever take his own life. Giles laughed, a short bitter laugh. The Council had already taken his life. He would simply be cleaning up. He reached for a glass and poured some water out of the tap. He opened the bottle and putting a couple of the pills in his mouth he began. When the bottle was empty he slowly went back into the bedroom and lay down. His last thoughts before the darkness pulled him away were of Willow.

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