TITLE: Magic 10/14
AUTHOR: Rari Coss
DISCLAIMER: It all belongs to Joss, the real king of the world, the WB, UPN, Fox, Mutant Enemy and anybody else who feels they own it. Im just borrowing, lost in admiration, and then giving them back, memories wiped clean.
FEEDBACK: Absolutely.

Spike stayed in the garden all night. He walked through it, running his hands over the tops of the plants. Willow had sat there watching him for a long time until she got too tired and she returned to her room. Spike willed the sun to stay hidden but in time he felt its approach and he too went inside.

Willow was awakened by the sound of laughter. She smiled as she listened and eventually rolled over so she could peak out the window. She grinned when she saw Giles. He was laughing at the guards. They were staring at him, not sure where their duty lay, as he filled their arms with bounty from the garden. They were struggling to keep tomatoes and zucchini, onions and carrots from falling through their fingers.

Willow threw on some clothes and ran out to join them, first running by the kitchen to get a big bowl. She tried not to laugh at their look of gratitude as they started heaping their loads into the bowl. Giles looked at her excitedly.

“Willow, I can’t even imagine all the different plants that must have been grown here over time. There’s such an extraordinary assortment.” He noticed the guards’ hands were empty. He started filling them with flowers. He bit off a grin at the new dismay in their eyes. Then he started laughing again. He slapped them both on the back. “Don’t worry, I’ll make it worth your while. I’m cooking everyone omelets as soon as we get back inside.”

They all followed him. Willow watched the guards exchange repeated looks. They had all woken up in inexplicably good moods. The guard from last night had wasted no time in telling them what had transpired while the rest of them had been sleeping. The other guards hadn’t believed him until they had all stumbled off the step, eyes filled with amazement. He had told them about the magic, and they had heard the awe in his voice. He believed that their mood this morning was the lingering effects of the magic. They would have scoffed at him if they hadn’t been looking at a field of green that used to be brown, had been brown for years.

The two guards on duty now were beyond perplexed. They had been warned about Giles. They had been told he was lethal, and a possible enemy and for them not to let down their guard down for a minute.

They looked at the man walking a few steps ahead of them, the young woman at his side. She certainly had no fear of him. She teased him, and poked him, and chatted with the ease of long familiarity. He was laughing, he had made a dead field grow, and now he was planning on cooking them breakfast. Whatever they had been expecting when they had been given this assignment, it had not been this. Willow saw yet another glance shoot between the two of them. She stepped towards them and gestured them in as if to take them into her confidence. “Don’t worry.” Her eyes sparkled. “He makes wonderful omelets.” She laughed and then turned around. She caught up with Giles and tucked her arm through his, the bowl of vegetables under her other arm.

When Willow started to plead starvation Giles headed in. Willow began arranging all the flowers in assorted containers while Giles started chopping up vegetables for the omelets. As the food started cooking two more guards made their way into the kitchen, sniffing appreciably. Giles asked about the last two and he was told they were sleeping. Giles nodded and returned to his cooking. Once the guards and Willow were eating he excused himself for a moment.

He quietly let himself into Spike’s room. “Spike?” He heard Spike shift in the bed and sit up. “Do you want to join us? I’m making omelets. I could close all the curtains so you would be safe.”

Spike considered the offer. He blew out a deep breath. He still felt raw. If it had just been Giles and Willow he would have accepted but he guessed that ‘us’ meant the guards as well. He wasn’t ready for that yet, certainly not in daylight. “No, thanks. Not quite in the mood for company.” Giles nodded, understanding. He turned to open the door and was leaving when Spike called to him. “Giles?”

“Yes?”

“I wouldn’t mind it if you brought one to me.” Giles grinned, nodded and closed the door behind him.

Giles walked back into the kitchen. He started making Spike an omelet. After bringing it to Spike he returned to the kitchen and fixed his own. He sat down across from Willow and dug in. One of the guards pushed his plate away and leaned back. He looked at Giles. “That was the best omelet I’ve ever had. Thank you.” Giles grinned in delight, blushing, as the other three guards and Willow all nodded their heads in agreement.

Willow watched the guards all exchange another look. They were all also hoping that Jensen was not choosing this particular moment to be listening in. They knew he probably was, he didn’t miss much. He wouldn’t be thrilled that they were consorting with their prisoner. But they also knew that Jensen, despite being the biggest son of a bitch that they had ever worked for, appreciated honesty. If being around Giles changed their behavior they had learned through experience that Jensen would rather see it out in the open than have them hide it. Jensen sometimes forgave errors if they were honest ones. He never forgave them if they were coupled with lies.

Willow looked at Giles. “So, what’s the plan for today?”

“Hmm?” Giles had been putting all his energy into feeling peaceful. It had been a long time since he had felt this good.

“Today, what’s the plan? Do we start working on your magic?”

He laughed and gestured towards the back. “That wasn’t enough for you?”

She shook her head. “Not that magic. You know, the other magic, the stuff you don’t do so well.” Her words tapered off in volume and enthusiasm as she saw the effect they were having on him. The joy was off his face, and he looked guarded all of a sudden. She reached out a hand and laid it atop one of his. “I’m sorry Giles. I didn’t mean to make your good mood go away.”

Giles shook his head and gently smiled at her. “It’s all right. I suppose it is why we’re here.” He pushed his fork around on his plate. “I’m not sure where to start.”

Willow watched him, thinking for a minute. “We need to figure out why sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.” She pursed her lips, twisting them from side to side.

Giles started stacking plates. One of the guards began assisting him. When the table was cleaned off, Giles just leaned against the counter looking at the linoleum. One of the guards cleared his throat. Giles looked over at him. The guard spoke. “What are you trying to figure out?”

Giles watched him for a second. The guard who had spoken had been one of his vegetable bearers this morning. The thought brought a grin to Giles’ lips. He recalled his name. “Aaron, right?” Aaron nodded.

Giles took a deep breath, not sure how to explain. Willow was almost jumping off her seat and drew his attention. “Yes Willow?”

“Want me to explain?” Giles nodded gratefully. Willow turned to the guards. Willow just let it all out in a whoosh. “Okay, Giles slept with his slayer which was a big no-no but no one had ever told them why. So, what we found out after the fact was that it would make Giles evil, which it did. This evil took over his magic, cuz Giles is a sorcerer, but it made him super strong. So for two years Giles went rogue and went all over the world doing pretty terrible things, while the Council was trying to send people to kill him. Then Spike...” She pointed in his general direction. “found the spell to cure him and knocked him unconscious and brought him to me, cuz I’m a witch. So, Giles and I did the spell together and broke the curse that he’d gotten by sleeping with his slayer.”

Willow paused for a breath. Giles watched her with a look that was both amused and horrified. “Then the Council came and took him, after sedating him...” She looked at them and shook her head in dismay as if that part of the story appalled her more than the rest of it. “…then they locked him up for sixteen months, when he wasn’t even evil anymore. Just locked him up and ignored him. The magic was still there and really strong but it wasn’t bad any more. But it kept growing until now it’s super, super strong. That’s why no one can kill him. Giles can only control a part of it. The other part keeps going kaboom.” She again mimicked an explosion with her hands. “So, Spike and I came to rescue him and ended up having to stay and now here we are to try and help Giles learn how to not keep messing things up when he uses the magic.”

She looked at Giles, and saw that his eyes were open wide. He bit his lip, looking at her. “Did that tea have caffeine in it?”

Willow looked down at her tea mug and then back at him, wrinkling her nose. “Why, am I hyper girl?”

Giles barked out a laugh. “Just a little.” He looked at Aaron. “Please take her cup away.” Aaron reached out and took it and placed it in front of him.

He looked up at Giles. “Is all that true?”

Giles considered it for a moment. “Well, despite the appalling lack of tact and discretion, yes, essentially it’s true.”

“So what exactly happens when you use your magic? I mean I saw what you did out back. Is that an example of it going wrong? Because it seems okay to me.”

Giles smiled. “No, I meant to do that. Well, not all of it, not the dreams, and the magic affecting everyone’s moods, but the plants and the rain, I meant to do that.” He paused, frowning. “Most of the time, other than last night or when I’m protecting myself or my friends, things, well, things tend to explode a lot.”

One of the guards nodded. He had been there when the door had exploded. “How’d you put that door back on?” Before Giles could answer he tapped himself on the chest. “I’m Mike, by the way.”

Giles acknowledged the introduction and then in response to the question tightened his lips. “I have no idea. That’s the problem, I don’t understand why I can do some things or how I am able to control the magic in certain ways, but then seem to have no control in other areas.”

“So you’re here to practice?”

“Yes.”

Mike got up and walked over to one of the cabinets. He started pulling out some canned food. When he had about eight cans in his arms he looked at Giles. “Let’s go have you blow up some cans.” At Giles’ look he grinned. “You can blow up cans, can’t you?”

Giles scrunched his face up, leery. “Yes, I have no doubt that I can blow up cans. It’s what else I’ll blow up that concerns me.”

Mike dismissed his concerns and headed out to the front. The front was still a barren field. Mike walked about 100 feet in front of the house and put a can down. He walked back. He grinned again. “Okay, pardner, draw.”

Giles rolled his eyes. He made sure that everyone was standing well behind him. Giles reached for the magic, and concentrated on the can. There was a massive explosion. Huge clods of dirt went flying into the air. Giles threw up his hand erecting a barrier around the six of them and the dirt just hit it and slithered down to the ground. When the dirt stopped flying and the dust settled there was an enormous hole in the ground, around fifty feet across.

Mike let out a whistle. “Nice shootin’ Tex.”

Giles glared at him. “You have been watching entirely too many American westerns.”

Mike grinned. “I lived in Texas for about six years.” Giles tried to keep glaring but the young man’s infectious grin was hard to resist. It helped ease the fear in his gut.

Aaron walked out to the crater. He looked around and then turned back to the group. “Can’s gone.” He started to laugh. He didn’t know why it seemed so funny to him when they’d all almost been blown up but it did. He couldn’t stop laughing. Finally, he stood there, hands on his thighs drawing deep breaths. He walked a little closer to the house and signaled to Mike. “Throw me another one.” He caught the can and walked to the side of the hole and placed it down. He walked back to the front step. He gestured to Giles.

Giles frowned. Willow moved up to stand next to him. “Try something different, like instead of exploding it try and flick it away.” She flicked her middle finger against her palm. “You know, knock it over.” Giles frowned again. He rubbed his chin. He reached for the magic again and flicked. The can took off, like a projectile. It continued flying though the air until their eyes couldn’t follow it anymore.

Mike had his arms up in the air signaling a field goal. “And it’s good.” He imitated a roaring crowd. Aaron and the other two guards were trying very hard not to laugh.

Giles growled. “I’m so glad you all find this so amusing.” He glanced at Willow to find her biting her lips, hard. He supposed this was a vast improvement over the dozens of sober faced technicians who had worked with him when he’d first been brought back to the Council. He watched as Aaron put another can out. He could feel the fear growing stronger. It always grew, like a darkness inside him, when he did this sort of magic. He tried to ignore it, to push through it.

They all thought for a minute. Willow had another suggestion. “How about squashing it?”

Giles put his hand over hers to stop her demonstration. “Thank you Willow, I do know what squashing means.” He waited until Aaron was behind him and he sent out his magic once again. This time the earth moved. Then it started to shake. They all reached out to hold on as the steps beneath them trembled. Some shingles slid off the roof. They could hear crashes in the kitchen as breakable items slid out of the cabinets and off the counters. It only lasted for about six seconds but it seemed longer than that. One of the guards ran inside to reassure the two guards trying, albeit probably unsuccessfully, to rest.

The rest of them all still had their hands out, holding on. After ascertaining that no one was hurt Giles slowly sat down. Mike released his death grip on the railing and spoke. “Holy fucking moly.”

Giles put his face in his hands. “I quite agree.” He was amazed at how calm his voice sounded. His stomach was churning.

They all sat down except Willow who moved up behind Giles. She put her hands on his shoulders. “Giles, do it one more time. Let me see if I can feel what you’re doing.” He rolled his shoulders under his hand, her touch making him feel the tension that had been building with each additional attempt. She started to massage him. He closed his eyes.

At her words, Aaron had gone out to place another can and to investigate the other can. He looked thoughtfully at the ground. The can was flat and the earth was pushed in all around it about six feet into the ground. He nodded and looked up. “Can is definitely squashed.” He put the fourth can down a few feet away. He quickly moved back to the steps getting behind Giles.

When Giles stood, Willow, stepping up a step, lay her hands again on Giles’ shoulders. She closed her eyes and started sensing for his magic. She spoke. “Okay. I’m ready.”

Giles took a deep breath and then realized he didn’t know what he was doing. He turned his head to catch her attention. “What am I doing to this can?” He grimaced, as if in sympathy.

Willow bit her upper lip, thinking. “Just move it. From there to there.” She punctuated her words with a point. She massaged him for another moment; she couldn’t believe how tense he was. “Relax, Giles.”

Giles nodded. He stretched his head out to one side and then the other. They had discovered this too, that the more he tried his magic, the worse he felt. They had pushed him and pushed him one day until he was doubled over on the floor, retching his guts up.

Willow stilled her hands on his shoulders and spoke. “Now, Giles.”

Giles reached one more time and he began to let the magic loose. Willow felt the magic rise, she felt Giles start to release it, and she felt what Giles was feeling. His feelings pummeled her. He was filled with fear, fear of himself, fear of what the magic could do, fear of what the magic had done. She felt his self-hatred, his rage at how the monster had used him, how terrified he was that the monster might still exist, that using the magic might prod it awake. The emotions were excruciatingly strong and raw, pulsing around her and through her.

Giles heard her cry and out of fear for her he was able to stop and draw the magic back in. He caught her as she fell. He sat down holding her gently, deathly afraid that he had damaged her somehow. “Willow?” He softly called her again. “Willow.”

She opened her eyes and he could see the tears in them. She took a tremulous breath. “Oh God, is that what you feel every time you do the magic?” At his confused look she put her hand out and putting it over his heart she projected back to him what she had felt. He could feel it through his magic. At his nod she looked at him so sadly. She could still feel it so strongly in her. “How do you stand it?” She started to cry and he held her tightly.

He kissed the top of her head and gently rocked her until her crying slowly abated. Eventually she opened her eyes again. She reached up a hand and gently touched his face. “Why did you let us keep making you do stuff? Why didn’t you stop us?” Giles briefly looked up at the guards who were looking down at the two of them, concern on their faces.

He shook his head. “I need to learn to control it.”

“How can you control it when it makes you feel that way?” He didn’t answer. “Did you feel that way last night?”

He shook his head again. “No, no, that felt completely different, it was wonderful.” She could see the change in his face, how much it lightened just at the thought of the magic he had loosed last night.

She dropped her hand off his face and lay forward putting her face on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He just sat there with her quietly. Her heart was still racing. He started rubbing her back, sending thoughts of comfort out to her. Without even being aware of it he used his magic. She felt it move through her, filling her with peace, calming her fears, making her smile. He looked down at her. “Better?”

She nodded, her head still against her chest. She slowly sat up and he was surprised at how empty it made his arms feel. She looked at him, trying to work through the differences in his magic. Mike crouched down beside both of them. “Are you okay?” He looked at them both. They both hesitantly smiled at him and nodded. He spoke again. “What happened?”

Giles tightened his lips. “When I do magic like this.” He pointed at the devastated field. “It’s rather painful for me.” He looked at Willow. “I guess I’ve grown somewhat accustomed to it. I had no idea she would feel it so strongly.”

“How is it painful?”

Giles thought for a moment. “When I…” He closed his eyes. “When the magic in me was evil…” He paused and Mike swallowed at the look of pain on his face. “I did so many horrible things…too many to count. I killed so many innocent people, destroyed so many lives.” He opened his eyes and all of the guards were affected by the sadness there. “When I do this kind of magic it brings it all back. It brings back the memories.”

He turned to Willow as he felt her arm on his. “Giles, it wasn’t you. You didn’t do those things.”

Giles smiled sadly at her. He tucked her hair behind her ear. “You know, I never forgave Angel. I never forgave him for killing Jenny or for torturing me for hours, or for bringing all of you such pain and terror. All these years and I still don’t think I could look at him, even now, without seeing what he did while he was Angelus. I imagine that all the family members of all the people I hurt and killed will never be able to forgive me either.”

Willow’s heart was breaking listening to him. She didn’t know how to take his pain away, couldn’t even imagine what it was doing to him. She leaned towards him, holding his face in her hands. “Giles, you are the best man I have ever known, and I love you, and I am so glad you are a part of my life.”

Giles felt his eyes grow damp. He put his own hands over hers. “Oh Willow.” He took a deep breath. “Knowing that has been the only thing that has made my life worthwhile for the these past few years.” He leaned towards her and gently kissed her cheek. He pulled her hands away from his face and stood. He looked down at her. “I’ll be back in a while.” He turned and started walking away.

The guards watched him turn the corner and then they all snapped to as they realized that they were just watching him leave. Two of them leapt off the steps and ran around the corner to catch up. Both Mike and Aaron sat down next to Willow. Mike spoke softly, repeating himself. “Holy fucking moly.”

Willow just nodded. “What you said.” Mike just nodded back.

***

Giles went to his garden. He walked through it letting it comfort him. Once through he kept on walking and the guards, allowing him his solitude, followed at a respectful distance.

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