TITLE: Mexico 6/9
AUTHOR: Rari Coss
E-MAIL ADDRESS: RariCoss1956@yahoo.com
DISCLAIMER: It all belongs to Joss, the WB, UPN, Fox, Mutant Enemy and anybody else who feels they own it. Oh, and I have no idea who owns Scarecrow and Mrs. King but I’m sure they have much more money than I do and I’m only playing.
FEEDBACK: Absolutely.

Amanda leaned against the counter after she pulled down two mugs. She watched Giles as he set the kettle on. “You care about them all, don’t you?”

Giles gave her a small smile. “Yes. Yes, I do. They’re like the children I might have had.” He flashed her a larger smile. “A pack of unruly teenagers.”

“Except for Buffy.”

Giles sent her a startled glance and then let out a short silent laugh. “She’s the most unruly one of the bunch.”

Amanda gave him one of her lovely smiles. “I believe that, but that’s not what I meant. I meant that she’s not a daughter to you.”

Giles tilted his head to the side, curious. “I’m not sure I understand.”

Amanda could believe that. “The two of you. There’s a lot there between the two of you.”

Giles let out another short laugh, not much more than an expelled breath, as his eyebrows rose. “Yes, I suppose there is.” As he realized her eyes were still on him he tried to explain. “Our relationship…it’s complicated.”

“Like how?”

Giles braced a hip against the counter on the other side of the stove and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not sure I can explain.”

“Do you love her?”

“Oh, yes, very much.” He smiled softly. “I always have.”

“But not like a daughter?”

Giles’ brow furrowed. “I don’t suppose I’ve thought about it much. Does it matter?” He cocked his head to the side again. “And what’s wrong with loving her like a daughter?”

“Nothing, if that’s how you feel. Do you?” Amanda was uncomfortably aware that there were entirely too many unresolved emotions in this house. As soon as she stepped in the front door she had felt somehow that this was not a happy home. But then she’d seen the connection between this man and Buffy, and the rightness of it, and now she felt a tremendous need to meddle.

Giles opened his mouth to speak but the kettle began to whistle. He moved quickly and prepared their tea. Then he gestured back to the living room. As she sat down he moved to the bottom of the stairs, listening. When nothing but silence floated down he joined her on the couch. Taking a cautious sip of the hot beverage, Giles began his gentle inquisition. “So, tell me again how you know Jonathan?”

Amanda had no intention of being distracted from her new mission. “Are you in love with her?”

Giles almost spit out his tea. “I beg your pardon?”

“Buffy, are you in love with her?”

Giles stared at her, stymied. “I…I don’t believe that’s any of your business.”

Amanda heard the kind but very clear reprimand in his voice and decided to let it go for the time being. She had every intention of getting back to it as soon as possible. And as she wanted the truth from him, she decided to answer his question with the truth. “Lee and I are spies.”

Giles’ eyebrows lifted and he decided to put down his tea before he dropped it.

Amanda grinned at his expression. “Well, that’s not strictly true. Lee is a spy and I’m sort of a spy in training.” She frowned. “Well, to be perfectly honest, I have a tendency to get into trouble and Lee has to rescue me a lot.”

Giles thought about his bouts with unconsciousness. “I can relate to that.” He leaned forward. “Who, exactly, are you a spy for?”

“I can’t tell you that. But I can tell you that we’re the good guys.”

“I imagine the bad guys would tell me the same thing.”

Amanda laughed. “I suppose they would at that. But we really are the good guys.”

Giles believed her. He couldn’t imagine Amanda being anything other than one of the good guys. There was just something so empirically wholesome about her. “So are we.”

“I know that.”

“And we really don’t know where Jonathan is. Except that I understand he’s on his way to Mexico.”

“Mexico?”

He nodded. “That’s all I know.”

“I think you know more than that.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Your face. You’re not a very good liar.”

Giles sighed. “No, I’m not. I never have been.” He smiled at her. “But I don’t where he is.”

“But do you know why he went to Mexico?”

“I do. But, I can’t tell you that, or I suppose I should say that I won’t tell you that. I can tell you none of us intend him any harm, and that I believe he’s safe for the time being, and will eventually find his way back home.”

Amanda leaned back on the couch and took a sip of her tea. “So are you in love with her?”

“I believe we’ve had this conversation already.”

Amanda grinned. “I know. I’m just an incurable romantic.” As Giles stayed silent, Amanda let her eyes roam over his face. Such a strong, handsome face, but so much sadness there. “She needs you, you know.”

Again, startled eyes met hers. “What?”

“She needs you.”

Giles felt some frustration well up. This woman was like a dog with a bone. “I’m not sure I see your point.”

Amanda started musing. “I think Lee needs me too. He’d never tell me that, but he does. I help lighten his load a little. I make him smile. I make sure he eats.”

Giles wasn’t sure what the proper response was. He went for polite. “I’m sure he values you.” Then he changed his mind and spoke his mind. “What do you do when someone needs you too much?”

“Too much?”

“Yes, when they grow too dependent. When they look to you for everything.”

Amanda thought for a moment, thought of Buffy. “Are we talking about Buffy?” She couldn’t imagine Buffy as too dependent.

Giles nodded.

Amanda raised her eyebrows. “That ball of fire? Dependent?”

“She was having a rough time, and she started looking to me for too much. I was afraid she’d just grow weaker."

“If a person has a broken leg and they’re using crutches would you take them away?”

“Of course not.”

“So, if she was having a rough time, what does it matter if she needed to use you as a crutch? She seems like a strong young woman to me. If she needed you that badly, then it seems to me that you just needed to be there for her.”

Giles let out a sigh and didn’t meet Amanda’s eyes.

Amanda leaned forward, all sincerity. “We all have easy times and hard times, strong times and weak times. It’s knowing you have someone to depend on when things get bad that makes all the difference. The lucky ones are the ones who have someone they can count on to be strong for them while they recover.”

Giles tried to defend himself. “It’s not that simple.”

“Love is always simple. We’re here to take care of each other.”

“Sometimes the best way to take care of someone is to leave them.”

“And sometimes the best way to take care of someone is to stay by their side and see them through it.” She touched his arm. “Haven’t you ever had tough times in your life?”

He expelled a long breath. “There have been a few rough spots, yes.”

“Times when you really needed someone?”

Giles hesitated but then nodded.

Amanda’s hold on his arm tightened as she watched his face. Something told her that there had seldom been someone there for him when he had been in need. “Times when it would have been nice if someone had been there?”

Giles nodded again.

She kept on, relentless. “Do you think you’d be weaker now if there’d been someone to stand by you at those times?”

He leaned back and her hand dropped off. Giles took a rare moment to think about those most painful times of his life. And he spoke a newly realized truth. “No, I think I’d probably be stronger.” He thought about what he’d done to Buffy by leaving and he took his glasses off, throwing them on the coffee table and covered his face with his hands. Even with his eyes closed all he could see was the look of pain on her face when he had told her he was leaving.

Amanda watched him for a moment and then she reached for their mugs. “I’ll just go heat up the tea.”

Behind his hands, Giles nodded. He listened to her footfalls, listened as she moved out of sight, and then Giles let his hands drop. He retrieved his glasses and stood, moving to the window. He had told Buffy that he never should have left when they spoke in the training room only last night. But that had been in response to the laundry list of disasters that had befallen them all in his absence. He was ashamed to realize that it hadn’t been because he thought he might have done her a deep injustice. That he might have betrayed their friendship by leaving.

The thought of that appalled him. And he resolved, as he stared out at the darkness, that he wouldn’t leave again, not if she still needed him. He wouldn’t let her down again.

He didn’t hear Amanda come back in until she was standing next to him holding a hot cup of tea. “Are you thinking about her?”

Giles sent her a clearly exasperated look. “You are persistent, aren’t you?”

She laughed. “To a fault.”

“Well, yes, in answer to your question. I am thinking of her. I rarely do anything else.” As she opened her mouth to speak he interrupted her. “And please, do not ask me if I am in love with her.”

Amanda snapped her mouth shut and then she smiled. Again, he found himself responding. She laid her hand on his arm. “I think she’s very lucky to have you.”

Giles wasn’t so sure, but he found himself deeply wishing that Buffy felt that way. He felt a moment’s kinship with this woman and in a rare gesture he lifted a hand and cupped her cheek. “I think he’s very lucky to have you.”

***

Lee and Buffy neared the house. Buffy came to an abrupt stop. Lee stopped as well, vigilant, as he saw her guarded expression. “What’s the matter?”

Buffy pointed with her chin. “That. That’s the matter.”

Lee followed her chin and saw the window, and saw what she was seeing. Amanda and Giles, touching, her hand on his arm, his hand on her face, smiling, standing close, too close. His heart shrank at the sight, afraid suddenly that he’d left it too long. He’d stayed silent too long and now he’d lost her.

Buffy growled. “That is so not all right on such a cosmic scale that it must be stopped.” And then she was gone, heading for the house. She slammed the door open and stormed in, Lee right behind her.

Amanda and Giles looked up in surprise, hands dropping, stepping away from each other. They both watched Lee and Buffy, sensing that something was wrong, but clueless as to what it might be. Giles snapped out of it first. “Buffy, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

His question spurred Amanda and she hurried to Lee’s side. “Did something happen?” She glanced at him, looking for evidence of foul play.

Buffy was still seeing red. “What have you two been doing?”

Giles could hear the anger in her voice but he was mystified as to its source. “Buffy, what is it?”

Lee had taken a proprietary position by Amanda, one hand at the small of her back. His gaze kept moving between her and Giles.

Amanda watched his eyes move, saw the clenched jaw, his hand on her back. She looked at the window, saw the front lawn, the front door. All the pieces clicked. She turned to Lee and gave him one of her brilliant smiles. He saw it and turned to face her fully, lost in that smile, lost in her beautiful brown eyes. He smiled back. “What?”

She leaned in, still smiling, speaking softly. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

Lee winced at her words but he didn’t turn away. He just kept looking at her, as if he could see the truth there, see the proof that she hadn’t slipped away because of his carelessness. All he saw was the same shining affection in her eyes he had come to depend on so much. That, he suddenly realized, he couldn’t live without. He grabbed Amanda’s hand and pulled her, needing to be alone with her. When Lee got her into the kitchen he pulled her into his arms. He looked at her. “Should I be jealous?”

She shook her head. “No.” She smiled again, feeling the tension grow between the two of them, daring to believe that this tantalizingly familiar moment of potential was about to become something tangible.

Lee just let out a soft laugh, and shook his head in a quiet gesture of surrender. “Oh, Amanda.” He lifted his hand, cupping her cheek, mesmerized by the softness of her skin. He coaxed her toward him with a gentle touch and he tilted his head just enough to fully press his lips against hers.

Amanda sighed against his lips and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders, reveling in the solid feel of him. She loved that his kiss was so gentle, when she knew how strong he could be. Amanda deepened the kiss. She wanted to feel some of that strength.

***

Buffy and Giles both watched as Lee dragged Amanda away. Then Giles turned back to Buffy. “Are you really all right?” She just glared at him, and Giles realized that somehow he had done something significant to annoy her. He didn’t want to feel estranged from her in any way. Giles just started with his largest offense, the one he was aware of. “I’m sorry, Buffy.”

Buffy looked at him, startled. Then her eyes narrowed. “Sorry for what?”

“For leaving you.”

Buffy had to regroup for a moment. Then she shook her head. “I already told you it was all right.”

“I know you did, and I appreciate it, but I never should have left you and I really am sorry.”

She was caught by his sincerity and she felt her anger drain away. What was left was an indefinable sadness. “It’s all right. Really.” She sent him one of her self mocking grins. “I haven’t been such joy to be around, trust me.”

That broke his heart, just a little. “Buffy.”

She shook her head, not wanting to have this conversation. She just wanted to know that he wouldn’t leave again, but she couldn’t make herself ask, too frightened of what his answer might be. Instead she gazed toward the kitchen. “What do you suppose they’re doing?”

Giles had finally figured out what the look on Lee’s face had been when he’d stormed in behind Buffy. He grinned. “If he has any brains at all, he’s kissing her senseless.”

Buffy’s mouth opened in surprise and she glanced up at Giles, entranced by the grin, relieved that there was no disappointment on his face, that he was really glad that Amanda and Lee might be kissing. She grinned back and let out a small giggle. And as he kept smiling, she felt the urge to lift up on her toes, and feel what that smile felt like to her lips and to her tongue. She licked her lips and watched as Giles noticed. A sensation like lava spread through her body.

Giles watched Buffy lick her lips and he was a bit stunned at his response to it. He felt suddenly awkward, and unsure of what to do. His body seemed to be of one opinion, but his mind knew that it wasn’t that simple. It could never be that simple, not with Buffy. He wracked his brain trying to come up with something to say.

He heard footsteps on the stairs and he glanced up, grateful for the distraction. Moving away from Buffy he watched as Willow and Xander slowly walked downstairs, Xander’s arm tight around her shoulders. He smiled at Giles. “I’m just taking her back to my place. She doesn’t really want to stay up there, you know, in that room.”

Giles winced. “Of course. I should have thought of that.” He glanced at Willow. “I’ll come over tomorrow. Will that be all right?”

Willow nodded. Giles nodded back, relieved. Buffy gestured outside. “Do you need me to drive you?”

They all heard a honk. Xander shook his head. “I called for a taxi.”

Buffy moved to the front door and opened it. “And there it is.”

Xander scooped Willow up in his arms. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Giles put his hand on Xander’s shoulder. “Call if you need anything.”

Xander gave him a sad smile. “Got everything I need right here.” His eyes captured the girl in his arms, Giles and Buffy.

Giles nodded. “Good night, then.”

Buffy and Giles watched as Xander helped Willow into the cab and then crawled in beside her. When the cab drove away Buffy shut the door. She let out a long sigh. Then she grinned. “What do we do with our smooching spies in the kitchen?”

Giles’ eyebrows rose. “He told you?”

Buffy nodded. “She told you?”

He nodded in return. As one they looked toward the kitchen.

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