TITLE: Rogue Watcher 1/6
AUTHOR: Rari Coss
E-MAIL ADDRESS: RariCoss1956@yahoo.com
SPOLER WARNING: Just quick flashes
RATING: R for violence
PAIRING: Some B/G, but it is not a B/G story
DISCLAIMER: It all belongs to Joss, the real king of the world, the WB, UPN, Fox, Mutant Enemy and anybody else who feels they own it. I'm just borrowing, and then giving it back, memories wiped clean. Please, no one send me money, I don't wanna get in trouble.
SUMMARY: Giles finds himself paying the price for one watcher rule he shouldn't have disregarded. Takes place after Riley leaves, after mom dies. No Dawn.
NOTES: WARNING: Not the happiest of fics, major character death
FEEDBACK: Absolutely.

Many thanks to Lori Ann, my wonderful Beta reader. What would I do without you!!!! Also thanks to Da Wench for her feedback.

Warning again: Not the happiest of fics.

They had been crabby all week. They had quarreled and snapped at each other until they could hardly stand to be in the same room. Unfortunately they were in deep research mode so they had to be together. The mood would come and go, at times ebbing completely and they all experienced a brief moment of peace coupled with confusion as to where the enmity had come from. Then it would rise and they'd be at it again. Xander would have suspected Spike was up to something if he had been around. But he hadn't been.

They were at it again now. No one later would be able to recall what the argument had been about this time. The only thing that made it different from the last few days is that Giles got in the thick of it, lashing out.

"That's enough." Giles yelled at Xander. Xander's eyes opened wide. Giles never yelled, not like that. He opened his mouth to respond and he felt something he couldn't see pressing him against his chair, squeezing him painfully, making it hard for him to breathe. He moved his eyes to look at Willow to see if she was doing this and saw that her eyes were wide open staring at Giles. Suddenly the pressure went away and he almost fell out of his chair. Giles turned away slamming the book in his hands hard on the counter.

"God damn it." He paced. Willow followed him with her eyes. She could feel the magic circling him, running through him. She could feel its immense power, had felt him use it against Xander. Her heart was hammering in her chest, trying to understand what was happening.

Giles looked around the store, a look of desperation in his eyes. He shook his head; he shook it again. Willow saw the magic shimmer. She instinctively reached out to grab onto the table. The entire store shook. Items began to fall off the shelves shattering on the floor. Her panic started to rise. The magic was overwhelming. She watched Giles struggle to bring it under control. Finally the shaking stopped. Giles took a deep breath. Without saying a word he picked up his suit jacket shrugging it on, and left the shop.

Around the table, Xander, Willow, and Buffy stared at each other. They looked around the store. Xander stood up a little shakily. "What in the hell was that?" He looked at Willow.

Anya looked at all the damage. "Well, I certainly don't want to hear anything more from Giles about what happened to his store while he was in England."

Buffy looked at Willow. "Did you do that?" Willow shook her head, a look of confusion in her eyes. "No, Giles did." They all looked at her dumbfounded. She nodded. "I've never felt his magic so strong before. He used it against Xander." Her voice was filled with a sorrowful wonder. "It was as if it was out of control, I could feel him fighting it." She looked at Buffy. "I don't understand. He's never been like that. He's never done anything like that to any of us."

Buffy's eyes fell to the floor. Willow noticed it. "Buffy, do you know something? Is something going on?" Buffy got very still, not responding. Xander noticed it now.

"Yeah, Buff, spill. What's up with the big guy? What'd you do to piss him off now?" He felt a little queasy from whatever Giles had done to him. He walked around hoping it would pass. "I mean, wow, Giles pissed off, okay, but that.that was different, way different." He did an exaggerated shiver. "I am officially freaked."

Buffy continued looking at the floor. Willow leaned over, touching her arm. "What's the matter? Do you know something?"

Buffy finally looked up, her eyes sad. She spoke quickly. "Giles and I had sex."

Xander's jaw dropped, and Willow's eyes almost fell out of her head. Anya just snorted. They both spoke at the same time, "What?"

Buffy nodded, "It was just once, about a week ago, but I think it totally wigged him out. He hasn't been the same since."

Xander snapped his jaw shut. "How did that happen?" Anya snorted again.

Buffy sighed. "I was lonely and in need of smoochies. He was drunk and well.drunk." Before they even responded she raised her hands up as if to forestall any comments. "I know, I know, big mistake."

Xander rubbed his face with his hand. He moved to start picking up the few items that weren't broken, replacing them on the shelves. "Man, you sure know how to put a whammy on a guy. Remind me never to sleep with you, okay?" Anya shot Xander a dirty look.

Buffy looked at him sharply, hurt in her eyes, "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, c'mon you gotta admit your track record sucks. You have sex with Angel, he loses his soul, you have sex with Parker, he turns into the ultimate poophead. Riley goes bonkers and ends up letting himself become a human pincushion and hightails it to South America, and now Giles has become all grrr with a snarly magic thing going on."

Buffy just glared at him.

Willow looked back and forth between the two of them. "Xander, you can't blame Buffy for what happened to them, it was just bad luck." She made a face. "Well.a lot of bad luck." She turned to Buffy, "You'll find someone who stays normal after you..you know." She smiled reassuringly at Buffy. Buffy just looked down at her hands, playing with one of her rings.

Anya watched Buffy. "What you need is a good vengeance spell to start getting back at these men."

Xander looked over at Anya. "What did they do? Why is this their fault?"

Anya looked down her nose at Xander. "It's always the man's fault, always."

Xander rolled his eyes at her statement. He thought about Buffy and her bad luck with men. It seemed like an awful coincidence that everyone she slept with went wacko one way or another. He needed to talk to Giles all of a sudden, bad magic attitude notwithstanding. "I'll see you guys later, I gotta go do something." He pressed a kiss to Anya's cheek and left the shop.

Giles had scared him back at the store but Xander had to ask him something. He was feeling more afraid of what he was thinking than of facing Giles. Besides he knew Giles would never really hurt him. He drove over to Giles and walking to his front door, knocked. He knocked again, harder. Giles opened the door scowling when he saw who it was. "What the hell do you want?"

Xander swallowed, wondering if he needed to reevaluate the Giles would never hurt me thought. Giles looked angrier than he ever remembered seeing him. His fear drove him to persistence. "I need to talk."

Giles sighed, stepped back, and let Xander in. Xander looked around Giles' apartment, stunned. The place was a wreck. Even some of his books were torn, pages ripped out. Somehow that frightened Xander more than anything. He knew that something was really, really wrong. He turned to Giles, swallowing again. "What happened? Were you attacked? Are you okay?"

Giles didn't answer, turning his angry eyes to Xander again. "What do you need?"

Xander just headed for the couch. He sat, after pushing some of the mess aside. Giles shook his head, the way he had shaken it in the store. Xander watched him. Giles took a couple of deep breaths. Then he looked up and Xander saw that the anger was gone and the regular Giles' look of exasperation was there instead, the look Giles had on a regular basis when he looked at Xander. Xander felt more relaxed seeing that look. Then he saw the books again, and his stomach tightened.

He focused. He ran his hand through his hair, not sure how to ask what he wanted to ask so he just blurted it out. "Giles, is it bad news to sleep with a slayer?" He saw the surprised expression appear on Giles' face. "Yeah, Buffy told us." In response to the heated look in Giles' eyes he held his hand up. "She only told cuz we were worried about you, you were acting all snarly and well, Hellmouthy."

Xander asked again. "So is it? You know, bad news?" Giles sat back, stunned and suddenly frightened. He had known something was happening to him but he hadn't been able to figure it out. He had been battling for control for days, and as he sat there, thinking back, he realized it had started that next night. The night after he had slept with Buffy. That was the night he had destroyed his books. He had come back to awareness from wherever he'd been to find himself in the middle of ripping pages out of one of his own journals, ripping the pages into tiny shreds, beyond repair.

He realized Xander was still talking. "I mean, you know, I slept with Faith. I remember how I felt after that. I was angry, and everyone made me so mad, even Willow made me mad." He snorted at the thought of that. "I could hardly stand being with any of you. I figured it was all the stress. I mean a bad time was being had by all. But now that I think about it, maybe that's not what is was. Maybe Faith did something to me. Granted I don't feel like I need to run off to South America but I did fall in love with an ex-demon." He looked at Giles. "Did Faith do something to me? Am I going to be okay? Do I sound as crazy as I think I do for even saying this?"

Giles stood, starting to pace. "No, Xander, unfortunately, it's not a crazy idea. I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner." At the scared look in Xander's eyes he hastened to reassure him. "I don't think you have anything to worry about. It happened quite a while ago. I would imagine it's out of your system by now." He couldn't resist adding, "But, do let me know if you find yourself at a travel agency." He smiled a tight smile at Xander. Xander grinned back.

Then Xander looked at the books again, saw the pieces of shredded paper. He turned worried eyes to Giles. "How `bout you big guy? You gonna be okay?"

Giles had followed his eyes, looking at the books. He sighed. "I'm not sure. I need to do some research. Please don't talk to Buffy about this until I know something more definitive."

Xander grimaced. "Too late. I already did. I mean not because I knew anything but just because I was, you know, spouting off." He stood, jamming his hands in his pockets.

Giles walked over to the door opening it. "I need some time alone, I need to do some research." Xander nodded his head.

"You need some help?"

"You need to leave now. Please." Xander looked closely at Giles, looking at his eyes. He didn't like what he saw brewing there. He felt completely freaked again. He didn't like feeling afraid of Giles. He was thinking maybe Giles was in serious trouble.

"Maybe I should stay, maybe I can be scotch tape man." He looked at Giles.

Giles face started to darken. Xander put his hands up. "Okay, okay, I'm leaving." He walked out and the door was quickly shut behind him. He stared at the door for a minute, conflicted. He finally shrugged his shoulders. Giles was, after all, super research guy. He turned and walked away.

Giles stood by the window, hidden from sight, watching Xander until he got in his car and drove away. He felt like he was about to jump out of his skin. He could feel it rising again. It was why he had all but thrown Xander out. He shook his head again. It seemed to help. It was true he needed to research but the information he needed wasn't in any of books. As far as he knew it wasn't in any book. He reflected back on his training. He couldn't believe he had forgotten.

They were given so many rules. So many rules about slayer and watcher behavior. All the dos and don'ts. It had been one of a thousand mantras preached to him, to them all, as they'd gone through watcher training. Reasons why were seldom given. The Council had worked just fine for centuries and they were committed to the way it had always been. No arguing, no asking for explanations. They just commanded, expecting to be obeyed. Just one of the rules: no slayer sex, of any kind. And no slayer/watcher sex. Giles had assumed it was because it would distract the slayer, or it would divide her loyalties. Watchers being forbidden to have sex with their slayers had always made sense to him. He saw it in a similar fashion as to why it was also forbidden for counselors to have sex with their patients. It was a breach of trust; a question of ethics.

He laughed, harshly, thinking of Buffy. One day after meeting her he had thrown away the handbook, literally and figuratively. He had realized right away that she was different from every other slayer that had ever been. She'd been raised outside of watcher influence. She already had friends, had interests; she was willing to fight for the right to have a life, to fall in love. And he couldn't deny her. He could hardly deny her anything. So, he had thrown that rule out along with all the others and never given it a thought. Until now. And now his gut was churning with fear, wondering if this had been one rule he should have paid attention to. He had commiserated with Buffy about her lack of luck with men. Even then he hadn't put it together. He was ashamed that something so clear had escaped his notice but there had seemed to be reasons for the behavior, other events obscuring the truth.

He thought about that night with Buffy. It had been another anniversary of Jenny's death and the level of grief he had felt had surprised him, the sorrow swallowing him up. So, he had started drinking and gotten himself stumbling, foggy-headed drunk. Buffy had shown up, depressed herself about her mom, about her life, feeling lonely. She'd sat next to him on the couch, her head on his shoulder. His drunken body had responded to her touch and he'd acted on instinct. The next thing he knew they were kissing and they'd ended up in bed. He'd woken up the next morning to find her gone. He had wondered for a minute if he'd imagined the whole thing but he could feel a relief in his body that he hadn't felt for a long time, and he could still smell her scent. He'd been appalled at his actions, guiltily relieved she had not been there, not sure he could face her that soon.

That night it had started. The magic in him started to grow, started to leak. He had felt so angry, so filled with hate. He began to lose track of time, long moments of unawareness. He could feel his magic affecting the people around him and had found himself finding a malicious glee in his ability to create such havoc. He had watched it affect the group all week and had done nothing to stop it. Today his magic had wrenched out of his control and he had used it against Xander, helpless to stop himself, and then he'd almost shaken the shop apart. It had taken all his strength to fight it and bring it back under his control.

He needed information so he called the only person he thought might have it. Mary Posten had been a watcher for a long time. She had never been assigned to a slayer but she was one of those people who just knew things. People told her things, they confided in her. He told her things. He now listened impatiently as the phone rang. He took another deep calming breath. It didn't help. He was about to slam the phone down in its cradle when he heard her voice.

"Hello?"

"Mary? It's Rupert, Rupert Giles."

"Rupert? How wonderful to hear from you." He could hear the pleasure in her voice. It momentarily warmed him. She always seemed to be delighted to hear from him, no matter what time of day he called.

He paused, not sure what to ask.

"What's wrong? Something challenging going on with that slayer of yours?" He smiled. She also always knew when something was wrong.

"Well, yes, actually." He hesitated. She stayed silent, allowing him time to marshal his thoughts. "Well, truthfully, there seems to be something wrong with me." He paused again, embarrassed with the topic matter. He plunged in, needing to get it over with. "I slept with her."

She gasped, "Rupert!"

He felt a shiver down his back at the way she said his name. "Mary, what's happening to me?"

He could almost hear her thinking. Her lack of response frightened him. He asked again, "What's happening to me?"

She was silent for a while longer. "You understand how watchers are chosen?"

He trusted her enough to answer her question although he didn't understand its connection. "Yes, well, I understand how I was chosen. It's a family tradition. My father was a watcher, and my grandmother before him. All the watchers I know have a family history with the Council."

"Well, there's some truth to that, certainly. But the reason runs deeper, the reason why families are chosen in the first place. The Council looks for power. They choose families with power. They choose the most powerful among them to be assigned to a slayer. Your family is strong, three generations in a row of watchers in one family assigned to slayers is almost unheard of."

Giles listened, waiting for the rest. She continued. "You are unusually strong. Your extracurricular activities made you stronger yet." He snorted at her turn of phrase, her polite euphemism for his stint as a practitioner of the black arts.

She wasn't done. "The slayer takes in part of the demon, part of the evil, when she kills. She pulls some of her strength from that. It is a constant ebb and flow. She discharges a part of it with her next kill. There are some records, kept locked away, chronicling the events of what happened when a slayer had sex. The evil appeared to get discharged into her partners. The results were often disastrous. What seems to be known is that the damage done was in direct proportion to the power of her partner. For those less powerful the effect was minimal, transient. But for those of power, especially great power, like yours, the effects were dangerous beyond belief and were never able to be undone."

He thought about Angel. He had never told her about that. Now he wished he had. He'd have known this much sooner, in time to prevent what was happening to him, what had happened to Riley. He told her now. When he had finished he paused. "We were able to give him his soul back. How was that possible? Angel is a very powerful demon. Why wasn't the damage permanent?"

"I don't know. Perhaps the gypsy curse affected it all somehow. Maybe vampires are affected differently. There aren't any records at all that I know of that speak of slayers and vampires falling in love, or of watchers that allow their slayers to have sex with a vampire." He felt the gentle chiding in her voice. His jaw tightened. She spoke on. "All I can speak of is what happens when humans sleep with a slayer. And I can tell you that the watchers were beyond repair. They went rogue. They had to be." she searched for a term better than the one that came to mind. Unable to come up with one she spoke finishing the sentence this time. "They had to be put down."

Giles was silent, his mind racing, refusing to believe that there was nothing to be done. "What did they try? There has to be something they missed."

"According to the records they tried everything. I can find them, Rupert. Let me send them to you. See if they missed something. Have your wiccan friends try the soul restoration spell on you."

"Why has this been kept a secret? Why aren't these documents common knowledge?" He spoke with venom in his voice.

"Because the Council Tribunal has always been composed of sexually repressed old men who felt that those documents were distasteful. They passed the empirical lesson along as teachings and it has worked. Slayers have been raised according to the rules; they've had watchers who obeyed the rules. No one thought of the danger, including me, that Buffy had been raised so differently, that she had friends, might have lovers. I'm so sorry, Rupert. I should have thought of it, and warned you. No one will make that mistake again, I promise you."

"How exact are the records? Do they indicate how long I have before I lose all control?"

"When did you sleep with her?"

"Six nights ago."

She had to know. "What happened? How could you let that happen?

"I was drunk, she was starved for companionship; it was a fatal combination. Sheer stupidity. I have no excuse for my behavior." He asked again. "Mary, how long do I have?"

"According to the records you probably have another two weeks, at the most. At that point the evil will become too strong for you to control. You will be capable of extraordinary violence, your magic is so strong." Her voice caught. "I have to tell them. You'll be too dangerous."

"I know."

"They'll come for you, they'll kill you." There was no response. "I'll give you those two weeks, to see if you can come up with something. But then I'll have to let them know." He heard her voice break on a sob. "Rupert, I'm so sorry." He listened to her softly crying in the phone for a few moments and then hung up the receiver.

He called Willow. He asked her to get everyone together at the Magic Shop. He asked her to bring the Orb of Thessala. She gasped at his request but he refused to answer her questions. He told her curtly just to bring it, and he hung up. He despaired at himself, at how quick he was to anger and impatience. He didn't think he had two weeks. He wasn't even sure he had one.

When he arrived they were all there. Looking at them he could feel the magic swell, feeling an irrational anger build, anger at having to ask them for help. He wanted to lash out at them all. He groaned, falling to his knees. They raced over to him. He held up his hands, desperation in his voice. "Keep away, don't touch me, don't come near me." Buffy ignored him, grabbing his arm. His magic responded; it exploded out of him protecting him. She flew across the store, slamming into the back wall. He groaned again. He turned anguished eyes to Willow gasping out her name. "Willow, bind my magic, do it now, quickly, before it gets stronger."

She shook her head. "I don't know how, I don't know how to do that." Her voice had risen, her panic seeping through.

He groaned again, wrapping his arms around himself. "Upstairs." He gritted the words out. "Get the Book of Shadows, the blue one with the gilt edges." He groaned again. "Hurry."

She ran upstairs, her panic increasing as she sensed Giles' magic rising. She could feel the taint on it. She found the book and raced back down. She started flipping through the pages, tearing some in her frenzied haste. Tara looked over her shoulder lending her eyes to the task. Her eyes found it first. She put her hand down on the page to stop Willow from turning any more. "Here, this is it." Buffy approached the table rubbing her side.

"What's wrong, what's wrong with him?" Her eyes were wide and frightened. She looked at Giles, now curled up in a ball on the floor, groans still coming from his mouth, animal sounds that terrified her.

Buffy's question unanswered Willow grabbed Tara's hand, catching her eye. Tara nodded at her look and they both turned to Giles and started chanting. They finished the incantation and watched Giles as he slowly uncurled himself. He inched his way back to the counter, leaning against it still on the floor. He was sweating and panting as if he'd come back from a long run. They watched him, no one daring to come near him, not after what he'd done to Buffy.

He closed his eyes, needing a moment. He could feel the magic, could feel it was still there, but for the moment it was tucked away, out of his reach. A part of him snarled at the loss, felt hatred for the witches that had done this to him, swearing revenge. He shook his head, hard. He had to put a hand out to balance himself. He opened his eyes. He looked at Willow and Tara and forced a smile on his face.

"Thank you."

They just nodded at him. Buffy came over again. She stopped a couple of feet away, careful not to touch him. She crouched down. "What happened? What's going on? Why did you do that?" She was not able to keep the hurt out of her voice.

He rose shakily and moved to the table, eschewing her offered assistance. His whole body ached. He wasn't sure how long the binding would last. He could feel a part of him looking for weaknesses, probing. He asked Anya to get the information that he knew would be on the fax machine, the information Mary had promised to send. He asked Anya to read it out loud.

He watched Buffy's face turn white, saw Xander flinch at the descriptions of what happened to those watchers Giles now shared such a dubious bond with. Buffy stared at him. "I did this to you?" She wanted to throw up. "I did this to all of them?"

"It's not your fault Buffy. You didn't know. I didn't know. If there's any fault at all it's with the Council for withholding this information."

Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at him. "Giles." Her voice broke. "Oh God Giles." She started to cry. He didn't look at her. He knew he didn't have the strength to comfort her now. He was barely hanging on.

Willow had taken the fax from Anya and was reviewing it. She looked at Giles. "Is this why you had me bring the Orb? Because it worked for Angel? Do you think your soul is gone?" Her mind grasped on to that hope.

He shook his head. "I don't know, Willow. I don't believe so but I thought it might be worthwhile to give it a try, if you're willing. I know it took a lot out of you the last time."

She rolled her eyes, annoyed that he would even think she might hesitate. "Giles, I'll do anything if it will help." She started moving around the store pulling the things she would need to do the spell and she began. The last time she had done this a power had taken over her and it had been frightening and exhausting. She waited for that to happen again. She felt a power rise but it was from Giles. She stopped, the words cut off as she looked at him. She saw he had broken free of the binding; she saw the hate in his eyes. He struck with his magic and the Orb exploded, showering them with fragments, cutting them. They all screamed and moved away, brushing at themselves. Giles sat there, untouched by the fragments. They had moved around him and lay in a circle on the floor. He sat there smiling at their discomfort. Buffy, seeing his expression grew angry. She went over to him. "How dare you? Someone could have been hurt."

He turned his eyes on her and she took an involuntary step back at the expression on his face. "One can only hope." He smiled again. Her face tightened. She moved forwards again and backhanded him across the face. The blow took him out of his seat and across the floor. He lay there for a minute stunned. He shook his head. He pounded his fist on the floor. He shook his head again. He looked up, the fight for control clear on his face, emotions changing like quicksilver, sorrow, hatred, fear, anger. He stood, backing away. "I can't be near you." He backed away more. "Willow, I only have a few days. I don't even know if I can hang on that long. Look for me. See if there's something they missed." She nodded.

He swept them all with a glance. "You all need to understand. I'll have to go. They'll come for me. They'll come to kill me." His eyes went feral for a moment and the magic flared. Willow winced, both at the glint in his eye and at the feel of his magic. The rest of them saw her movement and braced themselves. But Giles was able to get control again. "The Council already knows. I called them. I needed information." He looked at Anya. "Burn those papers. I need to protect the person who sent them to me." Anya nodded and he continued, turning to Buffy, capturing her eyes. "They won't come for two weeks but then they'll send a team for me and they'll send a new watcher for you. Whether I'm here and they kill me, or whether I've run, either way I'm dead to you. You cannot come after me. I'll kill you if you do. I won't be able to help myself."

She couldn't believe this was happening. "Giles, I can't just let them kill you. I can't just let you go."

He had to leave soon. "Buffy, this isn't your fault, you have to believe that."

She just shook her head. He looked at them all. "No one gets in touch with me except Willow." Buffy's eyes darkened at that. He tried to explain, his voice impatient. "She can feel my magic. She'll know when I'm losing control. She's the only one who has any chance to protect herself."

Buffy opened her mouth to speak and he gestured angrily at her. "Buffy, this isn't open for discussion. I'll leave now if you won't agree." He turned to Willow. "You have to agree as well."

"Agree to what?"

"If I tell you to leave, you go, no questions. If you feel my magic grow, you leave. If I start to frighten you or hurt you, you leave, you do what it takes to protect yourself, even if it hurts me. Agreed?"

She nodded, not trusting her voice. He could see the fear in her eyes. He cursed under his breath, sure that she would be more fearful in the days ahead.

He turned to Anya. "Do you want this shop?"

She gaped at him. He asked again, sharply. "Do you want this shop?" She nodded her head, her face showing her confusion, her fear. He nodded. "I'll try and take care of it before.." He didn't finish his sentence. Anya went to stand by Xander, needing to feel him near. He looked at Willow again. "Come by in the morning. If ever you come by over the next few days and I'm not there assume I'm gone." He swept his eyes over them all. "My belongings will get taken by the Council, so take what you want before they get there. Be prepared for them, they will question you. They will make your lives uncomfortable for a while."

He could see them all bleeding from countless cuts from the Orb. He closed his eyes at the pain that caused him. He took his glasses off and ran his hand over his face. He put them back on and looked at them all. He knew he hadn't said enough, he knew he hadn't reassured Buffy at all. He believed it would be the last time he would see most of them. He ached with the thought of that loss. His eyes misted over as he looked at them. "I'll miss you. I'll miss you all." He turned to Buffy. "You are the best slayer that's ever been. It's been a privilege to serve you." He fought the tears but some spilled over. He turned and left.

They sat there hearing the door slam shut behind him. Willow started to cry. Anya held Xander tightly, feeling him shake in her arms as his tears claimed him as well. Buffy just sat there, shocked, too many emotions running through for one to claim her. They huddled there for a long time. No words were spoken. There was nothing to say, no words adequate to express their loss and disbelief. In time, they rose. They all went to Buffy's to sleep, needing to be together.

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