TITLE: Second Chances 4/7
AUTHOR: Rari Coss
DISCLAIMER: It all belongs to Joss, the real king of the world, the WB, UPN, Fox, Mutant Enemy and anybody else who feels they own it. I'm just borrowing, and then giving it back, memories wiped clean. Please, no one send me money, I don't wanna get in trouble.
FEEDBACK: Absolutely.

Giles hadn't called once. She knew it had only been two weeks but she was starting to wonder just how much time he needed. She wished she'd asked him to clarify. She smirked at herself. Yeah, how much time do you need to reconcile being raised from the dead, having your memories mucked with by an evil poophead, and having your slayer shoved down your throat. She was feeling better; she'd gained her weight back. She focused on the fact that he was alive and had promised to come see her. She tried very hard to not think about the possibility that he might choose to live without her in his life.

She had stumbled upon a nest of demons last night and had been unsuccessful killing them, just managing to really piss them off. The group was researching trying to find some information on them so she'd have better luck tomorrow. She sat there fiddling with the book in her lap, having read the same page about a hundred times.

As the bell on the front door jingled, they all looked up to see Giles walking in the door. Buffy's heart soared, the phrase he's here, he's here ringing through her head. The rest of them were momentarily spellbound. They knew he was alive, but it hadn't rung true for them until just now. Willow shrieked, got up, and slammed into Giles, giving him the biggest hug she could. He wrapped his arms around her, and lifted her up, squeezing her back. He had missed Willow. He put her back down and let go. She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "We all missed you so much. I can't even believe you're here. It's too good to be true." She hugged him again.

He smiled at her, lifting a hand to ruffle her hair. "I missed you too." He looked around slowly at the rest of them. First Anya.

"Anya, the store looks good."

"Are you going to take it back?" He looked at her and saw the worried expression on her face. He grinned.

"No, Anya, it's yours. Yours and Xander's. Are you making lots of money?"

She grinned like a Cheshire cat, nodding her head, and then frowned, still not sure she believed him.

He looked at her, moving closer. "Anya, I don't want it back. It belonged to a life that doesn't fit me anymore." Buffy, behind him, stiffened at his words. Anya nodded. Then she looked at him saying softly, "I'm glad you're back. Please don't ever do that again. It was horrible."

"I shall endeavor to grant you your wish." He turned and looked at Tara. He smiled at her. "Tara."

She smiled at him. She wanted to go give him a hug too but she hadn't been that comfortable with him before he had died. Now, she was even less so, he seemed so..so..formidable somehow. So, she just smiled. He walked around her and put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing. He kept walking ending up by Xander.

"Xander? You've been well?" Ripper took a step back as he suddenly felt himself being hugged by Xander. Ripper hugged him back. Of them all, Xander still felt like his child, his son. His smart- mouthed, disrespectful son, but his son nonetheless. Some of that would need to change. The hug finished, Xander sat back down, a little embarrassed. His eyes on the floor he simply said, "It's good to see you, I.we've missed you. It just wasn't the same." Ripper waited until Xander's eyes rose to meet his again. He smiled at Xander, reaching down to squeeze his shoulder as well.

He then moved to stand in front of Buffy. "Buffy, you look better. You've been taking good care of yourself?"

"Yes, I promised you I would." Her heart was pounding. She longed to ask him if he was staying but she didn't have the nerve. "Do you want your condo back?"

He shook his head. "No, that's not mine anymore either. I would like to come and pick up some things though, if that's all right? Assuming they're still there."

Xander snorted, "Still there?" He snorted again, "Jeez Giles, it's like a shrine. She hasn't touched anything."

Ripper looked at Buffy watching her blush. He looked up as the front door opened and the bell jingled again. Ethan walked in.

Buffy stood, "What the hell is he doing here?"

Xander piped in nervously, "Yeah, G-man, what gives?" He was remembering the last time Ethan was here.

Ethan kept a grin to himself and walked over to stand next to Ripper. Ripper eyed both Buffy and Xander as he spoke. "Ethan is here at my request. He is my friend." Buffy opened her mouth as if to speak, her brow furrowed. He spoke first, his voice harsh. "Buffy. I dealt with Angel. You deal with Ethan. He stays." Her eyes widened, but her mouth snapped shut. "And while we're setting new rules, let me add a few." He took them all in at a glance, smiling at Willow and Tara. "I remember hearing too many cracks about my personal life, my appearance, my age." He glared at Xander, Anya and Buffy, implicating them in this. "That stops now. I didn't like it then, and I won't stand for it now. Is that clear?" He swung his head to Xander moving closer, his body tight and graceful as it moved. "And don't, ever, call me G-man again, got it?" Xander nodded, his head pulled back, eyes wide.

Ripper stood over them, watching them, satisfied at the expressions on their faces. They stared at him, really looking. Noticing his clothes, his face, and the way he looked standing there. No one in that room could imagine calling him old, or making fun of his appearance, making fun of him at all. He looked good, and he looked dangerous. Buffy's eyes slid to Ethan, feeling just for an instant how Giles must have felt seeing her with Angel. She looked back at Giles. She felt intimidated by him. She hated feeling intimidated; the feeling made worse because it was Giles generating it inside of her.

She tightened her lips, trying to push past it, overdoing it. "So, do we all have to call you Ripper now?"

Ripper shook his head. "No, as my memories have started to come back, I remember you all calling me Giles. You can keep doing that."

She asked another question, in a small voice, needing to know. "Are you staying?"

He looked at her, nodding. "For a while, at least." He took them all in again, saw the glazed looks on their faces and sighed. "Listen, I told Buffy in LA that I..." He paused and started again, "I'm not the man you remember, not all of him at any rate. I'm different, I feel different, and I want different things. I don't want the life back I had. I don't want to be that man again." He paused again, marshalling his thoughts. "I told Buffy that I might not be someone she even wants in her life, and that goes for all of you. So, we'll see what happens. We'll see how we fit, how we work together, if we should be working together. We get used to each other again." He looked at them seeing if any of them had a response. None of them did.

He noticed the book Willow had been looking through. He walked over to her, "What are you trying to find?"

She snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at him, "What? Oh, Buffy had some demon trouble last night and I was trying to figure out what they were."

"Describe them." Willow did, looking to Buffy for confirmation. Buffy nodded.

Ripper pursed his lips, looked at all the books sitting around and reached for one. He flipped open some pages and placed the book in front of Willow. "Here it is." She turned to the book, her eyes widening as she realized that he had found it, that quickly.

"Wow." She smiled up at him, her eyes filling with tears. "Trying to fill your shoes was not the easiest thing I've done." He smiled back, ruffling her hair again.

"I'm sure you did fine Willow."

He looked at Buffy, and then at the rest of the group. "Anything else demon-wise going on?" They all shook their heads at him. He nodded, "Then I'm out of here. See you later." He motioned to Ethan and the two of them left the store together.

When he had left, the five of them just stared at each other. Xander spoke first. "Okay, okay, what the hell was that? Giles was kinda scary." He turned to Buffy, "And what did he mean, he didn't want his life back? Isn't he going to be your watcher?"

Buffy pulled her legs up, wrapping her arms around them, curling in tight. She shook her head. "He said he didn't want to be my watcher anymore." She put her head down on her knees, feeling the tears filling her eyes, just at the thought.

Willow spoke up, "Are you sure, Buffy? Because he was being kind of watcher-y there right at the end. I mean, he found your demons."

Buffy didn't respond, keeping her face hidden.

Xander kept going; he was on a roll. "And excuse me, but, Ethan? Since when does a good guy hang out with someone like that?"

Tara responded to that. "Ethan did bring him back. I would imagine that would be a pretty strong reason to stay friends with someone." She had never met Ethan, but had heard the stories from Willow.

Buffy finally pulled her head up. "I can't think anymore about this. Will, what does the book say? How do I kill these stupid demons?" She listened as Willow read from the book. Piece of cake. She nodded. "I'm gonna go home, I'm beat."

They all stood to rise, taking their cue from her and after locking up, they headed out to their cars. Xander and Anya dropped her off at her condo. She had moved back in there a couple of days ago against her mother's wishes. She waved at Xander and Anya when she reached her door. She went inside and closed the door behind her. She leaned back on the door feeling weary beyond belief. She stood there motionless, waiting for some energy to get ready for bed. There was a short rap on the door. She started away, and then opened the door, hoping it would be Giles. It was. He had been about to knock again, so his hand was fisted, up in the air.

She stood back, making room for him to pass her as he entered his old home. He stopped and stared. Nothing had changed. It was as if he had never left. It sent a shiver down his back. He let out a sigh of exasperation, "Buffy." The tone in his voice spoke volumes.

She looked around the living room and then looked at him. "I know, kind of creepy, isn't it?" She looked at the floor. "It made me feel like you still lived here somehow."

He sighed again, moving to sit on the couch. She sat on the other end.

"Are you here to get your things?"

"No, well, maybe a couple of small things. I'll come back for the bigger stuff later." She nodded.

"Why are you here?"

He wasn't sure himself. His memories were still returning and the ones about her tumbled in his head. His feelings regarding her swung like a pendulum. Sometimes he hated her; sometimes he missed her so desperately he thought he'd go insane not to be with her. He felt fond of all the others, especially Willow, but this girl sitting in front of him, she would be the reason if he stayed or if he left. He knew that, and he knew that to figure it out he needed to spend time with her, despite the turmoil in his head.

"Do you want to set up a training schedule?"

Her eyebrows rose. "But, I thought.." Her voice trailed off.

"What did you think?"

Her eyes fell again, her heart hammering in her chest. She whispered so softly that he had to strain to hear. "You said you didn't want to be my watcher anymore."

He shook his head. "Buffy, I only said that when I first saw you, when I first heard who you were, and the only memories in my head of you were the ones Ethan had put there."

She shook her head, "No, you said it again, when you came to see me at Angel's."

"No, Buffy, I said that I can't be the man that was your watcher." She looked confused at that, not seeing the difference.

He stood, feeling the need to add movement to his words. He paced the length of the living room, running his hands over his old belongings. "Buffy, when Ethan brought me back, he changed me. He did some things he shouldn't have; even I admit that. But, overall he did me a favor." He watched the look of disbelief rush across Buffy's face. He put his hand up to stop any possible words. "You need to listen, and you need to understand." He moved back to the coffee table sitting directly across from her. She waited, nervous, nothing about this Giles was predictable to her.

"We.." he motioned with his finger pointing to the two of them. "We never spoke that much about my past, about my watcher training." Again he forestalled her speaking. "I know, part of that was my fault. I never used to be comfortable talking about my past." Her eyes widened at the use of his past tense. "My older memories weren't affected by my.transition." He grinned at the word. She didn't grin back. He could tell she was nervous, of him, of what he might say.

"Part of watcher training is to die a little. Die to what's important to you, learning how to get past your needs, learning how to live with pain. Learn how to just live for your slayer, put her first in everything. I cooperated fully with the training. I lost part of myself there. I never even felt it go."

"I remember some of being your watcher. Hell, I remember being everybody's watcher." He laughed, tersely. "I was so needy, wanting you to be the perfect slayer, wanting to prove myself to the Council. I trained for one, and ended up with a pack of you. A pack of disrespectful, impulsive teenagers." He smiled ruefully, "I don't know how I stood it. I wouldn't now. Not the way it was, not with the lot of you running around, ignoring me, disregarding my advice, getting into one impossible scrape after another, putting each other at risk." He stopped, "And you." He took a deep breath. "The things you did. The things you said. I can't believe I just took it. I'm ashamed of myself that I did." He saw the pain in her face. He took one of her hands. "I know these words are hurting you Buffy, but you need to hear them. I don't believe I did you any favors, making you think it was okay to treat someone like that. I don't care if you are the slayer, you are a person first, at least you should be."

He stretched first one shoulder and then the other, trying to release some tension. "But, I didn't understand that, just like I didn't understand that I should have been a person, a man, first, and then be a watcher. I had been trained too well. So, I was watcher first, and expected you to be slayer first, and we both lost sight of who we should have been, who we could have been."

"So, maybe we have a second chance. Whatever Ethan did to me, it's fading, or at least changing. I seem to have redeveloped some sort of conscience, and I still feel a connection to you." He caught her gaze, "I need to figure out what that means. I don't know if I want to be a watcher anymore, but what I do know, as sure as I am breathing, is that if I choose to become your watcher again, that I'll be a man first, and a watcher second."

He picked up her other hand, holding them both in his. "So, Buffy, are you willing to try? See what we both want? See if we can stand to be around each other?" He gave her a lopsided grin. It pulled at her heart. She started to protest his words and again he stopped her. "Buffy, you don't know me. You are thinking it's me back, but it's not, not completely. Don't just say that of course you want me back and that of course you want me to be around. Those words belong to a man that is dead. This man, sitting in front of you, a lot of him is new to you."

She finally spoke, "Not the part that matters."

He looked at her. "Yes, especially the part that matters."

She looked down. He tightened his grasp on her hands. "Buffy, what do you say?"

"You know my answer. I'll do whatever it takes."

He smiled, knowing she still didn't understand, but it was enough for now. "So, do you want to set up a training schedule? I think I might have some new moves to show you."

She nodded, "We could go back to our old one. My school schedule hasn't changed."

"Every day at 3:00?" That time seemed familiar.

She nodded.

He walked to the door and she got up to follow. When he put his hand on the doorknob she stopped him. "Um, Giles, do you need some money?" She blushed.

He smiled at her, "No, but thanks for asking." He opened the door and stepped outside. He smiled again. It was amazing how money poured into your hands with the right kind of magic. He was set for life, well, a couple of lifetimes as a matter of fact. He got into Ethan's car, having borrowed it, and headed back to the hotel.

NEXT