Title: Goodbye To You 1/3
Author: Savage
Pairing: Buffy/Giles
Rating: R
Spoilers: Season 6 Sometime after Once More with Feeling
Distribution Dusty, Dee, ASH
Disclaimer: All belongs to Joss, just the story is mine and the songisn't mine either
Author Note: For Ewie, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUN! ;-) LOL and to poor little Heidi cause I keep teasing her about frights *g*

(Espresso Pump)

Taking his guitar into his hands, Giles started strumming cords. This wouldbe his last performance at the Pump, and his last night in Sunnydale. Buffy had been so angry with him for his wanting to go back home, he barely made it on stage tonight. His nerves were shot, his heart was aching, and to make matters worse, he couldn't for the life of him, find his voice. The last thing he wanted was to leave her, but to leave her while she was so angrywith him why didn't she understand he was only doing this for her? Why didshe have to take it so personally?

It wasn't as if he wanted to go home. A home he didn't even consider his anymore. His heart had but one place in which it chose to be now, and that was with Buffy.

However, things had been falling apart with his Slayer for weeks now. She refused to listen to him, to talk about things, or to handle certain situations on her own. As much as he didn't want to go, he knew his leaving was for the best. He knew it and he knew Buffy would too.

Sooner or later, after she calmed down and the anger left her.

He started to sing the song that reminded him of his relationship with Buffy as tears gathered once again in his eyes. The fight he had with her before he packed his things, flashed through his mind.

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

Closing his eyes, Giles fought to keep his tears from falling. Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya knew Giles would be stopping by the pump on his way to the airport. They wanted to have one last chance to ask him to stay, or to say their goodbyes, so they sat in the back of the club and watched hot tears, slowly side down the watchers sad face as he lost his fight and let the emotions inside, seep out.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

Willow could feel her friend's pain as she watched the tears trailing down his strong cheeks. She had never seen him cry before, except when Buffy died. But even then, he tried to hide his feelings, putting the gang's in front of his own.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

As he finished the song, Giles lowered his head and took a deep breath. Thecrowd was clapping for him as Willow put the video recorder down and reached for her cell phone.

"You get all that?" Xander asked her as he took the camera and recorded Giles wiping the tears away and sending a gentle smile to the crowd, unable tothank them for their applause.

"Yeah I got it, I just need to find Buffy now and show her before Giles gets on his plane"

"You sure we should be meddling in their lives?" Dawnie asked while wiping a tear from her cheek. She watched Giles stand and sadly put his guitar down. He took a deep breath and took the mic in his hand.

"I just wanted to thank you all for coming here tonight. I'm really going to miss everyone. Someone in particular, a lot. But things have come to passand it's my time to go. And while I know she will never hear this, it feels good for me to say it out loud"

Swallowing, Giles closed his eyes and whispered.

"I love you Buffy"

(Bronze)

Buffy wrapped her legs around the cold man's waist as her hands traveled over the cool skin under her palms. Muscles bunched and tensed to her touch as Spike kissed her hungrily, while his hands gave her rear a good squeeze. Thoughts of Giles filled her mind as Spike broke the kiss and licked her neck. When she felt his teeth scrape her skin, she grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked his head back.

"Off... Limits" was all she said harshly as he smiled and attacked her mouth again. Though she knew this was stupid and foolish, she couldn't help what she was doing. She needed her mind off of her Watcher. Slaying didn't work, beating the hell out of her punching bag was even less effective since every time she let her guard down, she could smell Giles' cologne in the room.

Buffy kissed the vampire harder as the fight she had with her Watcher hoursearlier, haunted her.

(Early that Day _ Giles Home)

"Buffy?"

She didn't answer Giles as she walked past and into his apartment. She saw all the boxes lying about and sighed.

"Was there something I could help you with?" Giles closed the door, trying to sound as calm as he could. But when he had opened it moments before, hisheart threatened to beat out of his chest. Excitement hit him, along with hope that she wanted to work this out before he left. Fear was also there as well, knowing that when Buffy got hurt, she usually shut her emotions off. He walked to her as she stood next to a pile of boxes that held some of his clothing.

"You don't have to do this" Her voice was low as she kept her eyes down, surveying all the different items in the boxes.

"Yes, I do"

"Why?" Buffy looked at him then, her eyes pleading for him to make her understand.

"I don't want to-"

"You say that, and I want to believe you, but..."

Looking around again, Buffy lifted her hands gesturing to all the boxes.

"If I don't go and I continue on here as things have been-"

"I'll change! I promise! You just have to give me a chance. Why can't you of all people give me a second chance?"

Taking a deep breath Giles went to the breakfast bar and reached for his glass of scotch.

"I can't go on like this Buffy. Not anymore" He took a drink as she watchedhim.

"Like what?"

"Being your lackey. Buffy-"

"Excuse me? My lackey?"

Giles heard the sarcasm in her voice and turned to face her.

"Every time something with Dawn came up, it was handed off to me. Whenever there was-"

"Well excuse me for dying!"

"Don't!" His voice was harsh and slightly raised as he took a step towards her, then stopped.

"Don't you dare use that against me? You don't know how hard it was for me... For everyone"

For the first time in a very long time, Buffy saw something in her Watcher's eyes. Giles was never one to show any of them how he was truly feeling. He chose instead to make their feelings and their problems more important than his own.

"Giles?"

"Forget it"

He shut down again as he went to a box on his desk and began to pack it.

"Was I that bad?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You want away from me so much, when I need you more than ever, because I was that bad?"

"You just don't understand do you?" Giles looked at her as he stopped packing, a picture frame in his hand.

"Obviously not if-"

"This is all I have"

Looking down at the picture in the frame, Giles motioned to her to have a look. She walked to him and looked at the photo. It was of her and Xander, Anya, Willow, Tara and Dawn.

"You, all of you, are my family Buffy. I would do anything, give anything to keep you all safe and sound-"

"So you leave us?"

"What's missing from this picture?"

"What?"

"Look at it. What's missing?"

Buffy looked again and shrugged.

"I don't know. Everyone's there"

"Exactly. Everyone YOU care about is there"

Giles handed her the frame and headed into the kitchen. Buffy looked again at the photo and sighed as she closed her eyes. (Oh you moron) she said in a low mumble, lifting her eyes to watch him moving about in the kitchen, checking for anything that may have been left in the cabinets.

"Giles?"

"I don't want to fight with you Buffy"

"I'm sorry"

"It doesn't matter"

"Of course it does. It would matter to me"

Giles turned toward her.

"Why? It hasn't before. Not for 6 years"

"I meant to say you. You know that I -"

"No you didn't. You were right Buffy. Everyone you care about is in that photograph. It's about time I faced that and moved on"

Turning from her, Giles headed into the hallway and across towards the bathroom. He went inside and shut the door, locking it behind him.

(Bronze_Present Time)

Buffy knew she shouldn't have left without going to check on Giles, but shewas so angry with him she couldn't think straight. All she knew was the most important person in her life was abandoning her. She needed him more than anyone and he was acting as if that didn't matter. As if his leaving her was really the right thing to do.

*ring*

The sound of Buffy's phone broke into her thoughts. Sighing she pulled awayfrom Spike as his lips went to her neck, assaulting the vein sticking out there with his tongue. She reached into her pocket and answered her phone.

"Hello?"

"Buffy?"

"Will?"

"Yeah. Buffy, you need to get to the Espresso Pump! Quick!"

Hanging up, Willow hoped Buffy would think they were in trouble and not call back, just rush over. And it worked; Buffy pulled herself from Spike's grip and started towards the door in a fast charge.

(Espresso Pump)

"Is she coming?" Anya asked as they watched Giles greeting some people. They had never scene him look as sad as he made his way to the front door.

"He's leaving!" Dawnie squeaked as Tara looked at the front door.

"Maybe we could cause a- a distraction?"

"We could tell him bye? And that in no uncertain terms is he getting the Magic Box back" Anya offered, causing the gang to stare at her. "What? He signed papers!"

Shaking her head, Willow rewound the tape and stuck the recorder into her backpack.

"Let's say our goodbyes, maybe Buffy can still make it here before he headsto the airport.

(Streets of Sunnydale)

Running as fast as she could, with Spike behind her, Buffy cut through Restfield Cemetery for a short cut. Hoping to get to the gang before anything worse than what she was imagining in her mind, actually happened. As she ranpast a large mausoleum, she rounded a corner and encountered three unexpected vampires, slamming into them full force. The vamps and Slayer fell to the ground. Spike came to a halt and watched Buffy flip to her feet quickly.She removed a stake from her back pocket and easily killed one vamp as theother two charged her. Spike jumped on one, leaving the other one to Buffy. They fought as quickly as they could, Buffy's anger and frustration with Giles leaving her fueling her. She beat the vampire with all she had and staked him as he tried to get up again. Then she turned and staked the one Spike was fighting with and took off again towards the Pump.

(Outside the Pump)

Giles was waiting for his cab as he felt arms encircle him from behind. Then a soft cheek went to his shoulder as Anya, Xander, Willow and Tara came to stand in front of him. He smiled seeing the children there, then laid a hand over the ones on his waist and gave the tiny appendages a squeeze.

"I'm going to miss you too, Dawn"

"How you know it was me?"

"Your perfume"

She hugged him tighter as Willow removed something from her jacket.

"We wanted to give you something to remind you of us"

The grin on his lips was full and charming as he took the gift from Willow.

"Thank you all"

"We hope you like, but, don't open it till you get on the plane, ok?"

"All right"

Everyone went silent and stared at Giles, until Willow couldn't handle it anymore and threw herself into the Watcher's arms. Followed by Anya and Xander. Giles hugged the children and rested his cheek on top of Willow's head as he saw Tara looking at her hands nervously. Smiling, Giles called to her.

"Tara?"

"Y-yes?"

"Get over here"

With a smile bigger and brighter than he had ever seen, Tara walked over and joined the pile of hugs. She felt Giles hand on her shoulder as he gave her a squeeze.

"I'm going to miss you all"

"Why do you have to go?!" Dawn's muffled voice asked from behind him. She still had the side of her face against his shoulder and her hug was getting tighter.

"I'm sorry Dawn, I don't want to"

"Then don't go!"

"I have to. For Buffy, for you. It's the best way"

"What about us?" Xander asked, as he held onto the group hug tighter

"I know all of you will take care of each other. I have no doubt about that"

"But, what if everyone gets killed and it's only me and, and, the town is over run by large bunnies all over the place!"

Giles and the other Scooby's stared at Anya.

"What? It could happen!"

Chuckling, Giles laid a hand to Anya's cheek and kissed her next to her lips.

"That won't happen and if it should, I'm but a call away"

A cab arrived and beeped its horn, causing the gang to squeeze Giles tighter. They really were making this so hard on him. His heart was absolutely breaking at having to leave them.

"I.. I have to go"

They knew he was about to cry, they could hear it in his voice as he pulledthem away and kept his head down.

"Giles please!"

He heard the plea in Dawn's voice as he turned to her. She saw the tears gathering in his green eyes, threatening to spill over.

"I'm so sorry dear heart. This is for the best"

Dawnie shook her head, knowing why he was going, she just didn't agree withit. She tried to be brave, to show him she could, but she caved in and wrapped him another hug.

"I love you"

"Oh, Dawn" He sighed as a tear fell free. "I love you too, sweetheart"

The gang watched them as tears collected in Anya, Tara and Willow's eyes. Xander hid his better, keeping his head down, suddenly finding the ground fascinating.

"I love you all. If you ever need me..." Giles cleared his throat, choking on the emotion in his voice.

"We know Giles" Willow whispered, and then they took the Watcher into another group hug before he laid his bag into the truck of the cab, got in and drove away.

For all they knew, out of their lives, forever....

(Streets of Sunnydale)

The slayer rounded a corner across from the Espresso Pump at a dead run. Forgetting to look both ways ,she darted into the street where her body made a loud thud as Buffy hit the hood of a JEEP. The impact sent her flying before she landed on the ground , several feet away.

Spike called out her name in horror as he ran to her.

"Buffy!"

A cut along her forehead was dripping blood as her hand went to her ribs.

"Are you all right?"

Groaning she looked at as if he lost his mind.

"Go to the gang Spike"

"No!"

"Please, They're in trouble!"

"I'm not leaving you!"

"I'm ok. Please, Spike, go"

He looked around as the man who hit Buffy came over to them.

"I-I-Is she all right? I'm so sorry! I didn't see her!"

"Call 911. Buffy, I'll be right back. I promise"

Shaking her head, Buffy watched Spike run off as the man who hit her, called 911 on his cell.

(Sunnydale International Airport)

Sitting at his gate, Giles closed his eyes. Memories of his time with the children and Buffy rushed through his mind so fast, it looked like he was watching a movie in fast forward. Leaning forward with his elbows resting on top of his knees, Giles dropped his head and laced his fingers together. Helet the children see him cry. Giles had never wanted them to see him that weak. He'd wanted them to know everything would be all right, that they would be all right.

Taking a deep breath, Giles realized the song he sang at the Pump was now playing over the loud speaker at the airport. His heart clenched as the verse that started him crying in first place at the Pump played.

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

Giles wasn't aware tears had fallen from his closed eyes until they splashed on his hands. He'd never cried this much before; never let himself get this emotional. But for some reason he felt like he was leaving Buffy for good.

That he would never see her again.

(Espresso Pump)

Spike arrived at the pump, gasping for air, though he didn't need it, and saw the gang hugging each other.

"Hey!"

"Spike?"

"No, its Nancy-bloody-Drew. Where's the big bad?"

"Huh?" Dawn asked as Spike looked around.

"The trouble you're in. The one your sis was rushing her to save you from"

"There's no bad. Not in a monster way, anyway." Anya answered as she sniffled then wiped her nose across Xander shoulder.

"Eww, An!"

"What?! You sleep with me, our bodies exchange bodily fluids and THAT bothers you?"

Everyone gave Anya a grossed out look as Willow answered Spike.

"No, we just, we wanted Buffy here to see Giles off"

"What?"

"Yeah, He just left-

"You mean there was NO bad?"

"No. Just Giles leaving. Where is-"

"You stupid, selfish, little bit-"

"HEY! Watch it!" Willow growled as Spike walked towards her with anger in his eyes.

"Buffy was rushing here, running as fast as she could to save you all. She thought you lot were in mortal danger! She was hit by a bleeding car!"

Everyone's face went pale as Dawnie asked in a scared voice.

"What?! Is, is she ok?!"

"I'm fine"

They turned towards the sound of Buffy's strained voice to see her standingacross from them, the gash on her forehead still bleeding freely as her hand held her ribs.

"Buffy?" Dawn ran to her sister and threw her arms around her. The look of pain of Buffy's face made her friends heart's clench.

"Maybe fine was too strong of a word"

Pulling away, Dawn looked horrified that she hurt Buffy.

"I'm so sorry!"

Smiling, Buffy laid a hand to her sister's cheek.

"Its ok"

"They're all fine and dandy, Slayer. You nearly got yourself killed, rushing here to save them from Giles"

"Giles?" Buffy frowned as Willow stepped towards her friend after telling Spike to SHUT UP.

"Buffy, there wasn't a big bad" Dawn admitted softly.

"There wasn't?"

"No, we... We wanted you to see Giles before he left"

"Why?"

"We thought if you knew how he felt-" Willow told her as Buffy looked from Dawn to the witch.

"Oh I think he made that pretty clear"

"No, Buffy. He really didn't"

Frowning at her friend, Buffy watched as Willow pulled the small recorder from her backpack and played the tape for her.

(Sunnydale International Airport)

Wiping the tears away, Giles silently cursed himself for being so bloody emotional. He had never cried this much before. Hell, his heart had never hurt this much before. Giles knew he was doing this for all the right reasons,but his heart was making it impossible for him to accept them. Removing his cell phone, Giles opened and let his thumb hover over the number 1 on hisspeed dial.

Buffy's number was stored there.

Giles desperately wanted to just ring her, tell her how sorry he was and try once again to explain why he thought this was for the best. He rememberedthe anger she felt towards him, the betrayal in her eyes. He didn't want to leave things this way.

Taking the chance, Giles pushed the number to Buffy's cell.

NEXT