Title: M&M’s and Lies
Author: Sav
Pairing: Buffy / Giles
Rating: R
Season: 5
Disclaimer: Joss owns all
Dedication: To Morr
Distribution: Dusty
Thanks for the beta sis, you’re the best.
(Giles Apartment)
After settling Giles on the couch, Buffy searched for something that looked like a pain reliever in his kitchen cabinets. She knew Giles wasn’t really hurt but she was curious as to why he was going through this whole thing, just to get her there. Spotting a bag of M&M’s he kept for her in the cabinet, Buffy smiled and returned to her Watcher.
“Here, take these.”
Buffy handed Giles two M&M’s, hoping without his glasses he couldn’t see what they really were. He didn’t. He grabbed the *pills* and swallowed them then a drink of water.
“Better?”
“Much,” he said with a small smile. He didn’t like pretending he was hurt, but damn it, he missed her. And the only way he was going to get anytime with her now a days was to resort to this. Between her freshmen year of college, Willow, Xander, partying, and Riley; Giles hardly ever saw her.
“You sure you don’t need to go to the ER?”
“Positive. Thank you, Buffy. You needn’t stay.”
“Are you kidding me? You got banged up pretty good there, Giles. I’m not going anywhere till I know you’re really all right.”
He smiled at her as she returned the gesture before asking: “Care for some tea?”
“No thank you.”
He closed his eyes and pretended to grimace as he moved. Buffy was at his side in seconds, taking a seat next to him.
“Giles?”
“It’s all right. Just a little sore.”
God, he was a ponce. How could he do this to her? (Because you miss her. Because you love her so much, you’ll do anything to spend two seconds with her, and her alone). Giles sighed as Buffy laid a hand to his forehead.
“I’m sorry you’re hurt.”
“Thank you, but it wasn’t your fault.”
“Yes it was. I should have been watching you and not …”
“You deserved to have the night off with Riley, Buffy. It was my fault for coming to speak with you out there. It could have waited.”
Honestly, He didn’t know what he was going to see her for. He really had nothing to talk with her about for quite some time now. The Hellmouth as of late was quite. And the only time he saw her was when she would *happen* to drop by with Willow or Xander.
Which was hardly ever.
“No, you’re my Watcher, Giles. If you came to see me, it must been important. I should have told Riley I would meet him later.”
(If she keeps this up, I’m coming clean) Giles thought to himself.
“Buffy, honestly, it’s fine.” He laid a hand above hers and gave her a little squeeze.
“If I had lost you tonight …” Buffy couldn’t finish what she was going to say as she closed her eyes and threw her arms around Giles.
The Watcher felt like hell.
She was crying over almost losing him when there was nothing really wrong with him. Buffy felt his arms close around her and heard him cooing her to take it easy and that he was okay.
Damn right he was okay, she wasn’t stupid. She knew that demon didn’t have a snow ball’s chance in hell at hitting Giles as hard as he claimed. She was there, she’d seen what happened. But she also let her curiosity get the better of her. She wanted to know why he was doing this and how far he would take it.
“Buffy?”
She sniffled, playing her trump card with the fake tears.
“Y-yes?”
(Dear Lord, you wanker! You made her cry!)
“Oh, Buffy.” He sighed deeply and pulled her away to look into her eyes. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t cry.”
She sniffled again lowered her eyes.“It’s all my fault, Giles. You could have been killed.”
“No … No, it was my fault. But I’m all right now.”
“Really?”
“Really.” He smiled at her as she stood.
“Lets make sure, okay?” She said quietly and without him seeing the smile on her lips.
“All right,” he said, not sure of how she was going to make sure he was all right.
“Good.”
Buffy reached over to the coffee table, grabbed his glass of water, and before Giles knew what she was doing, dumped it all over him.
“BUFFY!”
Giles shot up and off the couch, removing his shirt quickly, to get the ice cold water off his chest.
“What the bloody hell is wrong with you!”
Raising one eyebrow to him, Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. “Isn’t that my line?”
“What?”
“You don’t seem so *hurt* now, Giles.”
Realizing he was busted, Giles lowered his eyes. “I-I … uh … I don’t know, what you want me to say.”
“How about the truth?”
“Buffy, I don’t feel like having this conversation right now.”
He tried to turn and head for the kitchen. But Buffy stepped in his way.
“Oh no you don’t. What’s going on?”
“I … I don’t know what you mean?”
“Don’t! You know damn well what I mean.”
Sighing, she felt his cool breath wash over her. (God, couldn’t he put his shirt back on? How was she supposed to yell at him when he was standing there all wet and sexy?)
“Buffy, I’m terribly sorry.”
He kept his eyes to the ground as she stood in his way. Making sure he wouldn’t retreat anywhere.
“Why did you lie?”
Lifting his eyes back to hers, Giles told her. “I missed you. I missed us. I simply wanted some – *alone* time with you. And while I’m being brutally honest, I think it’s time I headed back to England.”
Buffy looked at him with shock in her eyes. Since when did he want to leave her? Since when he did he miss her?
What the hell was going on?
“Giles … one thing at a time here. What do you mean you want to leave?”
“You needn’t sound so wounded Buffy.” Taking a seat at his desk, Giles keep his back to her as he collected his thoughts. “It’s been obvious, for a very long time now, that you have no use for me in your life anymore.”
“That’s not true!”
“It is, and you and I both know it.” Giles turned to her then. “And that’s all right with me. It means you’re growing up and depending on yourself. You’re making decisions that are important to you and Dawn and you’re making them well.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t need you. You’re my Watcher! My … friend.”
“Yes, I’m all those things and I always will be.”
“I can’t do this without you.”
“Yes you can. I have no doubt of that.”
He sounded so fierce at defending her ability that Buffy almost forgot why her heart was hurting so badly.
“I don’t want to do this without you,” she whispered.
“You have Riley to guide you, and the others to-“
“Riley isn’t my Watcher!”
“Neither am I.”
Buffy felt a pang in her chest at his honesty.
“Not officially at any rate,” Giles added softly.
“Why are you doing this?”
“It’s not important.”
“It is to me!”
“Buffy-“
“Giles, please!”
Taking a deep breath he stood and started to pace. “Because I’ve been reduced to *pretending* to be injured just to get some time with my Slayer. I’ve been sitting here in my flat, day and night, researching and nothing else. I’m not an old man, Buffy. I want a life too. I want to have other interests, as you do, outside this horrid destiny we must lead, day in and day out.”
“You can have all that Giles. I’ll make more effort to come see you, you can go out and-“
“That’s my point exactly.”
“What?”
“You must make an *effort* to see me. I don’t want you to make an effort, Buffy. I don’t want to be a something you *have* to make time for.”
“I didn’t mean it that way, Giles, Honest I didn’t! And who cares about Riley? I haven’t seen him in weeks! Well, except for tonight …”
“You haven’t? Why not?”
“We sorta broke up.”
“Sort of?”
“Yeah, long story.”
“I would imagine, but seeing as I never see you, I wouldn’t know it.”
He went to the kitchen, brushing past her and grabbed the tea kettle.
“That was low, Giles.”
“It’s the truth Buffy.”
Her heart felt like it was being squeezed by an invisible force as she watched him move to make his tea.
Why was he being so mean to her? She loved him! She wanted to be with him more than anything. That was why she’d met Riley earlier. To tell him it was over between them. That she was flattered Riley had come back to see how she was and if she was sure Giles was who she wanted.
She was sure. She just wasn’t sure how to tell him yet.
After putting the kettle on, Giles turned to find Buffy sitting on a barstool. Her sad eyes were focused on her hands in her lap as a lonely tear slid down her cheek.
(Bloody ponce. You made her cry again) Giles thought angrily, heading out of the kitchen to stand by her side.“Buffy?”
“I never meant to make you feel those things Giles.”
“I know,” he answered, his voice low as he wiped another falling tear away with his thumb.
“I don’t know why I just didn’t tell you. Why I just didn’t come over here and take you into my arms and kiss you senseless. Well, okay, so I know *why*. Losing our bond would just be too much for me. I can handle you not loving me and only wanting to be friends … but I don’t think I could handle you cutting me out of your life completely because you didn’t feel the same. I was just so scared, and it was easier, not easier, it was hard staying away form you.”
When Giles didn’t answer her for what seemed like forever, Buffy lifted her eyes to find him watching her in amazement.
“Giles?”
“Kiss me?”
“what?”
“You said, you wanted to kiss me?”
A smile touched her lips. “Out of everything I just said to you, ‘kiss me’ is all you heard?
A gentle smile touched his lips. “Answer me please.”
“Yes Giles, I did say I wanted to kiss you.”
“Did? Then you don’t wish to anymore?”
“Do you want me to?”
“I asked you first.”
“You did not.”
“I did so.”
“You did not, and anyways what’s it matter? What are we, five? Just answer me Giles.”
Her eyes pleaded with him as he smiled at her. “More than anything.”
“Really?”
“Most definitely.”
Grinning, Buffy slipped off the stool and into his arms. Grabbing the back of his head, she pulled him into a passionate kiss as his hands went to her hips and lifted her to him. Giles crushed her body against his as her legs wrapped around his waist.
“This is so much better than my dreams,” Buffy sighed.
Giles grinned against her lips. “You dreamt about me as well?”
“Watch it, mister. Don’t go getting all-“She was cut off by another kiss-only this time, it was much more demanding.
“Does this mean you love me too?” Buffy asked in a hushed whisper after their passionate kiss ended for a moment so they both could take a much needed breath.
“I’ve always loved you, Buffy. In one way or another.”
Her smile was bright as his faded when he kissed her again.
“Care to love me in a new way tonight?” She asked, sounding breathless as she whispered against his firm, wet lips.
“In more ways than you ever knew existed,” Giles growled. He kissed her feverishly as he carried her upstairs and loved her for not only that night, but for the rest of their lives.
The End