Title: Nothing is Easy
Author: shelley
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Oz arrived in February and left in May. He thought it was more than an interlude, but maybe he was wrong.
Disclaimer: Giles, Oz, and all their sundry friends and acquaintances belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I own my Mac and my imagination. Since I’m imagining Giles and Oz together and Joss never did, I think I got the better part of the bargain.

Note: This was written for the Giles/Oz ficathon. Dolores wanted snow and a mention of Joyce. It is set in the same universe as "Year’s End", but the two are entirely independent of each other.

No one in Europe had better contacts in the mystical underground than Giles, so the moment Oz booked a flight from Bangalore for Heathrow, he knew about it. At the time Giles simply filed the information away, but when the day of Oz’s flight arrived, he surprised himself by impulsively deciding to go to London. He arrived at Heathrow shortly before the plane landed, though he had plenty of time to put himself in place before Oz came out of Customs.

Oz blinked in surprise when he saw Giles, but limited himself to a mild, “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I like to keep track of werewolves,” he said simply, not admitting that he didn’t know himself why he was there. “Not all of them are as responsible as you are.”

“Yeah, I’ve met a few like that,” Oz agreed. “Glad to hear that you’re keeping on top of them.” Giles grinned wryly and Oz returned it. “So, do you know any good youth hostels?”

“You won’t be needing one,” Giles told him firmly. “My flat has an extra bedroom, and I believe you’ll find the rates are remarkably low.”

“Yeah? So what are you asking?”

“A little company.”

Oz nodded. “Haven’t had that for a while. Sounds good.” And as easily as that, Oz came to live with Giles.

~*~*~

Oz had been in England for a couple of hours before they even got out of the airport parking lot. He hoped that the rest of his stay would be mellower and Giles promised him that it would be. It turned out that Giles didn’t live in London, but rather in some place called Bath. It was about two hours north and not even Oz felt comfortable maintaining silence for that long. Besides, there was something he really wanted to know. “What made you leave Sunnydale?”

Giles didn’t answer right away. Oz looked at him curiously and noticed that the older man was gripping the steering wheel tightly enough to dent it. The ferocity with which Giles grasped the wheel stood in stark contrast to his light, “Surely you didn’t expect me to remain an exile forever?”

“Exile?” Oz repeated in surprise.

Giles sighed. “I’m an Englishman, Oz, and I missed my home.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Oz admitted. “I haven’t been home in years and I totally get that. But what about the Hellmouth? Buffy?”

“They’re fine,” Giles said shortly. “There is little to tell… unlike you. I would very much like to hear about your experiences in India, if you don’t mind sharing.”

Whatever was going on in Sunnydale, it was clear that Giles didn’t want to talk about it… and that made Oz think that he probably didn’t want to hear it. So when Giles changed the subject, Oz followed him.

Besides, it felt… familiar, to let Giles focus the topics of conversation. To take control. Almost like Oz was back in high school, and Giles was setting out research assignments for everyone. It felt… comfortable.

And as easily as that, the boundaries were set between them.

~*~*~

After two days of sightseeing, Giles told Oz that he had pretty much seen everything there was to see in Bath. He seemed sort of embarrassed by Bath’s lack of hotspots, but also a bit desperate to keep Oz from leaving. Not that Oz wanted to go, but Giles didn’t seem to get that. He just kept assuring Oz that the trains between London and Bath were regular and frequent and that Oz could go up to the larger city as often as he liked.

“It’s cool,” Oz tried telling him. “I don’t mind hanging out around here for a while.”

“But I don’t think you understand how… limited the nightlife in Bath is,” Giles replied. “There are a few clubs here (in fact, a place called Babylon is within walking distance of my flat), but it isn’t exactly London. I just don’t want you to think that you have to stay here every night if you decide that you’re in need of more excitement. I’ll certainly understand if you decide to go to London a few times a week. There is an excellent train at 11:40, which might be an early night for you, but--“

“Giles,” Oz interrupted firmly. “Don’t worry about it. Not so much into clubbing anyway.”

“Aren’t you?” Giles gave Oz a penetrating glance. “You spent a great deal of time at the Bronze, as I recall.”

Oz shrugged. “So I got it out of my system. Kind of into the quiet these days.”

“You’ve spent the last year and a half in various monasteries,” Giles observed. “I would think you’ve had a surfeit of quiet for a while.”

“Nah. What I’ve had enough of is being alone.” Giles raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Look, I know I was always just ‘Willow’s boyfriend’ to you, and that you don’t know me well, but you *do* know me. Not me as a seeker for enlightenment, or me as a werewolf, but *me*, Daniel Osborne. I’ve missed that. Surrounding myself with loud music and hundreds of strangers, or staying in a sleepy town with one person who knows me? London just doesn’t appeal.”

Giles smiled shyly, clearly touched. “I, I’m quite pleased that you feel that way, Oz.”

And as easily as that, they moved past their mutual acquaintances and became friends in their own right.

~*~*~

A few days later, Giles had to go out for the day. He’d encouraged the young man to go out and do something during his absence, but Oz decided he’d rather curl up in a window seat with a book. Around three o’clock, it started to snow and Oz abandoned his book so that he could just stare out the window. He’d seen snow the previous year when he was in Tibet, but he was still enough of a California boy to be entranced by the sight.

Oz was starting to wonder whether the storm was on the verge of turning into a blizzard when he saw Giles’ car. He went to put on the kettle and went downstairs to meet his host.

“It’s really coming down out there,” Giles announced as he blew in the front door.

“Yeah,” Oz said. “I’ve been watching it.”

“Hard to believe it’s almost March. It’s rather late for snow.”

“Huh,” Oz grunted noncommittally. He took a breath, and then tackled the subject that had preoccupied him all day. “Hey, Giles. I’ve sorta been thinking.”

“Oh, about what?” Giles asked.

Oz was silent for a moment, waiting for Giles to look him in the eye. “That I need to know what went down in Sunnydale. What brought you back here.”

Giles sighed then nodded in defeat. “Fine. But I’ll need a drink for this particular conversation.” As if on cue, the kettle began to whistle, causing Giles to smile wearily. “And I *don’t* mean tea.”

A few minutes later, scotch in hand, Giles began filling Oz in about everything that had happened since the werewolf’s last visit to Sunnydale. He talked about arguments that tore the Scoobies apart, and the spell that melded them together. He told Oz about Adam’s defeat, and the arrival of a hellgod named Glory. Giles astonished Oz when he explained Dawn’s mystical origins, and saddened him with a description of Joyce Summer’s battle with brain cancer. This last bit of news caused Oz to interrupt Giles’ narrative.

“Mrs. Summers is better now, isn’t she?”

A sad look flitted across Giles’ face, making his quiet answer unnecessary. “No, I’m afraid she isn’t.”

“Too bad,” Oz said, meaning it. “She was a nice lady.”

“Yes, she was,” Giles said with a nostalgic smile. “Joyce was almost as extraordinary as her daughter, in her own way.”

“So how did this extraordinary daughter defeat the Hellgod?” The smile suddenly melted off of Giles’ face and he threw back his entire drink in one shot. And Oz realized that he had known all along why Giles was in England instead of Sunnydale. “She didn’t, did she?”

Giles gave a bitter smile and poured himself another drink. “Oh, she defeated Glory all right. She saved Dawn and the world, in that order. It cost us her life, but Buffy considered that a small price to pay.”

Oz’s heart was breaking for Giles, but he tried to offer him a little perspective. “You always knew that she would die in battle.”

“Ah, but she didn’t.” Giles tossed back another drink with a convulsive jerk of his wrist. “She jumped. She committed suicide. She needed to do it, but still…”

Giles reached for the decanter again, for what would be his fifth drink. Oz guessed that the older man intended to drink away his pain, even if he wound up in a coma doing it. Needing some other way to dull the agony for Giles, Oz impulsively reached over and kissed him.

Giles kissed him back for a heartbeat and then jerked back. “Why did you do that?”

“Dunno.”

The older man stared at Oz, his expression changing from amazement to anger. “You don’t know? You decided to change the nature of our relationship, and you don’t know why? What were you thinking?”

“I was worried that you were drinking too much,” Oz explained. “I panicked.”

Giles blinked in surprise. “You kissed me because you panicked? Is that your normal method for dealing with anxiety?”

“Pretty much,” Oz admitted.

“I haven’t finished telling you ‘what went down in Sunnydale’,” Giles told him with a shuttered expression. “But if I’m causing you concern, perhaps I should go to bed for now.”

Something inside Oz broke at that moment, as he realized that he had just lost something that he hadn’t even known he’d wanted. He was mentally telling himself off for being an asshole when Giles turned back toward him. “And Oz? If you ever care to repeat that kiss when you’re in a rational state of mind, you know where to find me.”

Oz went back to his old window seat and stared out into the night. He watched the snow turn into rain and thought about transformations.

Around midnight, Oz closed the drapes and went up to Giles’ bedroom. He was still awake and wordlessly gestured Oz to get in under the covers. And as easily as that, they became lovers.

~*~*~

They were celebrating Oz’s one month anniversary in Bath when Xander called. He’d been surprised when Oz answered the phone; surprised and relieved. Oz got the impression that Xander didn’t really want to talk to Giles at all, despite the trans-Atlantic call. That was cool with Oz; he was glad for the chance to talk with someone back in Sunnydale.

“So, Oz. How did you wind up in England?”

“Dunno. Just sort of happened. How did you wind up married?”

Giles looked up at that, clearly wanting to talk with whichever newlywed was on the phone. Oz waved him off, so Giles wandered into the kitchen, presumably to begin dinner.

Xander didn’t say a word during this silent conversation and Oz wondered whether he was still on the line. Oz was just about ready to hang up when his friend’s voice floated over the line, hesitant and unhappy. “Yeah. See, that’s the thing. I didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?” Oz asked in confusion.

“Didn’t get married. I, uh, sort of walked out before we actually got to the ‘I do’ part.”

Oz was surprised. He’d thought that Xander had gotten over his infidelity thing after Cordelia got impaled. Apparently not. “Harsh.”

“Yeah,” Xander sighed. “Harsh. There was this demon and he told me… made me think…” Xander took a deep breath. “Hell. I guess it doesn’t matter what he made me think. I just got to thinking that I wasn’t worthy of Anya, that she could do better than me. So I left.”

“Why didn’t Willow talk you out of it?” Oz wondered. “Isn’t that what best women are for?”

“I know,” Xander answered. “And she would have. But she has so much crap going on in her own life that I didn’t think she could figure out mine.”

“Excuse me?” Oz said with a dangerous edge to his voice.

“I know, I know. It’s Willow, so of course she could pull it together, but—“

“No. I meant, what sort of crap does she have in her life?”

“Didn’t Giles tell you what was going on here?” Xander asked in evident surprise.

“He told me that Buffy died, went to heaven, and wasn’t grooving on the encore,” Oz told him. “Giles didn’t say much of anything about Willow.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Xander exclaimed. “It was Willow who resurrected Buffy. We all helped, but it was Willow who did it.”

“That’s some serious mojo,” Oz said mildly. “Hard to come back from that.”

Despite Oz’s bland tone, he was shocked. He’d learned enough about magic in India to know just how nasty resurrection spells were. It worried him that Willow would get involved with such dark forces, but he was even more disturbed that Giles hadn’t told him. By the time Xander finished telling him his version of the Sunnydale low-down, Oz was furious.

Oz put the phone back on the hook and went into the kitchen to confront his lover. He found Giles singing softly to himself while making a stir-fry.

“Ah, you’re off,” Giles said cheerfully. He bounded over to the phone, though his face fell at the sound of a dial tone. “They’ve rung off. Didn’t you tell them I wanted to congratulate them?”

“Nothing to congratulate,” Oz told him. “Xander left Anya at the altar.”

“What?” Giles’ eyes boggled in surprise. “That idiot boy! I can’t believe—“

Oz glared angrily. “How come you weren’t there, Giles?”

“I couldn’t make it.” Seeing Oz’s look of disbelief, Giles reached for his hand. “I *couldn’t*,” he insisted.

“’Cause you’re *so* busy right now,” Oz sneered. “Have I been keeping you chained to the bed?”

Giles jerked his hands back and dug them into his pockets. “I can’t go back to Sunnydale yet. I talked to Buffy on New Year’s Eve and she isn’t ready to see me. She’s still too angry and I fear that she isn’t quite standing on her own yet. She’s been making so much progress since I left; I won’t jeopardize that by going back too soon.”

“I still can’t believe you left in the first place,” Oz said harshly.

Giles blinked. “I told you, I had to leave. Buffy was becoming far too dependent upon me. It wasn’t healthy for her. I didn’t want to go, but if I hadn’t she would have lost the ability to make her own decisions or run her own life.”

“How about the others?” Oz asked. “Was it in *their* best interests for you to split?”

Giles’ expression darkened. “I didn’t just ‘split.’ I thought about the decision from every angle.”

“Did you consider the others? At all?” Oz persisted. “Obviously, Xander could have used a bit more guidance. And what about Willow?”

“What about her?” Giles asked carefully.

“Xander said that she got out of control with dark magics and that Tara dumped her because of it.” Giles looked pained at that, but didn’t say anything, so Oz continued. “Did you think about Willow *at all* when you left Sunnydale? Didn’t you think that she could have used some supervision after doing a resurrection spell?”

“Of course I thought about Willow,” Giles snapped. “But my first and last responsibility is and always has been to Buffy. It was in Buffy’s best interest for me to leave, so I did.”

“End of story?”

“Yes,” Giles said firmly.

“You’re saying that Willow doesn’t matter as much as Buffy just because she’s not the Slayer?” Oz demanded incredulously.

Giles sighed. “Of course not. But Buffy will always be more important to *me*. I’m her Watcher, after all.”

“Even if you’re not Watching her right now?” Giles flinched, but didn’t say anything. Oz narrowed his eyes and asked, “And what about me? Where do I fit into your priority list?”

Giles was silent and Oz figured that was his answer right there. Saying that he wasn’t hungry, Oz went out for a drink, not returning until late. Giles was waiting up for him and welcomed him back with a rib-breaking hug. They made love fiercely that night, but neither apologized for the events of that afternoon. And as easily as that, Buffy came between them.

~*~*~

Oz had been in Bath for a little over three months when Giles disappeared for a few days. If it had been anyone else, Oz would have seen the sudden absence as a not-so-subtle way to tell him that it was over; since it was Giles, Oz figured that another apocalypse had to be coming.

Giles returned in the middle of the night. He slipped between the covers and snuggled up to Oz without a word. Oz relished the moment, feeling closer to Giles than he had since Xander’s call the previous month. Finally, however, the tension got to him. “So, is the world still standing?” he asked with a lame attempt at humor.

Giles took him literally. “For the moment. Perhaps not for much longer.”

“What happened?” Oz asked grimly.

“Tara was murdered,” Giles said sadly.

That was just about the last thing Oz had expected to hear. “You’re kidding.”

“I wish I was,” Giles muttered. “Apparently, Willow isn’t taking it very well. I just got back from Devon. You may recall that I have contacts in the coven there?” Oz nodded. “Well, they tell me that she has been pulling in vast amounts of dark magics. They fear that she is getting out of control and will need to be eliminated.”

“Eliminated?” Oz demanded dangerously. “You’re going to kill her?”

“No,” Giles said firmly. “Absolutely not. Not me, nor anyone else. The Coven was going to send someone to, uh, take her out, but I convinced them to try an alternate plan instead.”

Oz wondered whether his heart could literally pound its way out of his chest. The fact that Giles hadn’t volunteered any information about that alternate plan made Oz think that he probably didn’t want to know about it… but this was Willow, and this was Giles, and he had to know. “What are you going to do?”

“While I’m sleeping, the Coven will funnel as much power into me as they can,” Giles began.

“Don’t you have to be in Devon for that?” Oz inquired.

“No,” Giles told him. “It doesn’t matter where I am physically, just so long as I am psychically receptive, which happens during REM sleep. That being the case, I would rather be here with you.” Giles smiled wearily at him, and Oz grinned back. “I’ll wake with as much power as my frame can handle, teleport to Sunnydale, and deal with Willow. I’ll bring her back with me and you can make us both dinner tomorrow night.”

“How will you ‘deal’ with Willow?” Oz asked carefully.

“I shan’t hurt her,” Giles promised her. “I’ll tell you my entire plan tomorrow. For right now, there aren’t too many hours left of the night and I really must sleep if this plan is to succeed.”

Oz didn’t really want to drop it, but he didn’t want to sabotage Giles’ plan by keeping him awake either, so he silently snuggled into Giles’ chest. Giles held him so tightly that Oz thought he could smell desperation coming out through the man’s pores. It didn’t make for a relaxing night.

When Oz woke a few hours later, his sleeping bedmate was surrounded by a green aura. Oz should have been happy, because it meant that Giles’ plan to save Willow’s life was already working, but instead the anxiety he’d felt the night before returned in force. He didn’t know what this plan was, but it was in motion now, and Oz suspected that it could no longer be stopped.

Exhausted but slept out, Oz went to take his shower. When he was dressed, he curled up in an armchair to watch green, glowy Giles. It was terrifying, in a hypnotic sort of way.

Some time later, the glow unexpectedly went out and Giles bolted upright in bed. Oz blinked but otherwise masked his surprise. “How do you feel?”

“Incredible,” Giles breathed. “This much power is… amazing. Even possession by Eyghon never felt quite like this.”

“That makes sense.” Giles raised an eyebrow, silently asking for clarification. “It’s natural. World-connected. Not demonic.”

“Exactly!” Giles’ forehead wrinkled in confusion. “But how did you know that?”

“Werewolf,” Oz said succinctly. “Sort of tied to earth magic.” He dismissed the issue with a shake of his head. “But you were going to tell me about Willow this morning.”

Giles sighed. “So I was. As you observed, I am filled with natural magic. I am going to find Willow and provoke her into, um, draining me. When she’s filled with—“

“*Draining* you?” Oz asked dangerously. “You’re going to push Willow into *draining* you? Won’t that, you know, *hurt*?”

“I’ll be fine,” Giles said in a dismissive manner that told Oz that it would hurt a whole helluva lot. “It’s the only way to reach her.”

“How?” Oz demanded. “I don’t get that.”

“Right now, Willow has taken in a great deal of dark magic, has, has… uh, *overdosed*, if you will, on demonic force. If I can trick her into taking the power that the Coven gave me, it will flood her system with earth magic. That should throw her off balance long enough for Xander and Buffy to get through to her. Convince her to evaluate her actions.”

“What about you?” Oz asked bluntly. “What will it do to *your* system, to get flooded with magic and then have it yanked out?” Giles shrugged, but didn’t say anything. “Alright, then tell me this. What happens if Willow takes your own personal power while she’s accepting this little gift from the coven? What will that do?”

“I don’t imagine that it will harm her too much,” Giles said. “It has been many years since I channeled any dark magics, so—“

“That wasn’t what I meant, and you know it,” Oz said harshly. Giles was avoiding his gaze and Oz suddenly knew the answer to his question. “It’ll kill you, won’t it?”

“Not necessarily,” Giles said quickly. Oz stared at him and Giles reddened in embarrassment. “Possibly,” he conceded. “Probably. But only if she takes it *all*, and I’m certain she wouldn’t do that.”

“You’re not certain of that at all,” Oz accused. “You’re looking at this like a suicide mission, aren’t you?”

Giles sighed. “Willow has to be stopped, Oz. I didn’t tell you this last night, but she’s already killed someone.” Oz flinched at that. His sweet, gentle Willow was a killer now? “If something doesn’t shock her back to her senses soon, who knows what damage she might cause?”

“Are we talking end-of-the-world type damage?” Oz asked quietly.

“No, she doesn’t have anywhere near that kind of power right now. She will once she drains me, but she doesn’t now.”

“Then why are we even talking about this?” Oz demanded. “She’ll get over this Tara thing and will be fine.”

“No, she won’t,” Giles insisted. “She has already taken in so much dark magic that she is going to find it difficult to come back to herself. She is in danger of becoming an evil power in the world, and the Coven will not permit that to happen.”

“So the only way to save her is to sacrifice yourself?”

“It’s more than that,” Giles said earnestly. “If she doesn’t stop soon, she won’t be able to. Ethan Rayne used to be a good man, but dark magic corrupted him entirely. I won’t allow that to happen to Willow.”

“Let me see if I understand this,” Oz growled. “You’re going to let Willow kill you just to keep her a good person?”

“If that’s what it takes,” Giles admitted.

“And what sort of person will she be afterwards?” Oz demanded. “Don’t you think she might have a *little* problem living with herself if she kills you?”

“It probably won’t come down to that,” Giles said confidently. “But if it does, you’ll find her and tell her that I forgave her before I left for Sunnydale.”

“I’ll what? I don’t fucking believe you,” Oz yelled. “You’re just going to throw your life away without trying to figure out a better solution first. And for what? Because you feel guilty that you couldn’t save somebody else twenty years ago?”

Giles’ expression shuttered and Oz guessed that he might have gone too far. Still, Giles’ attack took him by surprise. “And are you willing to see Willow lost to darkness? I was under the impression that you loved her.”

“I did,” Oz agreed. “And I do. You never stop loving your first love. But that doesn’t mean I would pick her life over yours. Or yours over hers.” Suddenly, Oz was pissed at Giles for putting him in this position. No, he was furious. “In fact, I can’t believe you’d ask me to! If this goes badly, I’ll either hate you for killing Willow, or I’ll hate her for killing you. And that’s not fair, man, because I *love you both*!”

Giles went completely still, his mouth opened in a small “o” of surprise. “You love me?” he asked meekly.

Oz could have kicked himself. He hadn’t meant to say that yet, and he certainly hadn’t wanted to say it in the middle of a fight, but it was too late to take the words back now. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

For a moment, a long, glorious moment, Giles looked like he was going to smile. He was going to tell Oz that he loved him back. They would make love--and actually call it that for the first time--and then they would figure out a plan together. For a second that lasted forever, Oz really thought that would happen.

But then Giles’ face fell. He looked miserable and he looked broken. “Don’t say that, Oz. Don’t tell me things like that just to get your way.”

“I’m not!” Oz gasped.

“Aren’t you?” Giles asked sadly. “You don’t want me to go, so you’re resorting to emotional blackmail.” Suddenly, the dejection melted off of Giles’ face and he looked resolute. “You accused me of forcing you to choose between Willow and myself in an attempt to obscure the fact that you’re doing the same thing. Regardless of my feelings for you, I love Willow too much to allow her to continue in this destructive behavior. She has to be stopped, for her sake and for the sake of those around her. You can’t say words like, like. *love* and expect me to suddenly do your bidding.”

Oz was going to object, but the heartbroken look on Giles’ face stopped him. He wondered whether Giles was attacking him because he already knew he was going to die and wanted to make things easier for Oz, or whether Giles really thought that poorly of him. Really believed that Oz would throw around the word “love” just to manipulate him. Both possibilities pissed him off. “I won’t be here if you come back,” he warned.

“I wouldn’t expect you to be,” Giles said as he grabbed his brown coat. And as easily as that, Giles was gone.

~*~*~

Oz was packed up and gone before Giles and Willow got back. The process was simple and it didn’t take very long, but there was nothing easy about it. Nothing easy at all.

THE END

WOLF THING (Companion piece)